Forty-Five

Only … Was I mistaken? The hands that gripped Not Untrue Alchemy were too strong to be Ivan’s. His face and his body looked different as well.

“You don’t have to do this, Ivan,” I said.

“Zoe? How—”

“Why don’t you come over here?”

“What? Oh, Brixton isn’t hurt. He’s sleeping.”

“He’s not sleeping, Ivan.” A ferocious anger welled up inside me. “He’s dying.”

Ivan looked hesitantly at Brixton, then shook his head furiously. The motion startled me. Ivan normally moved slowly. Not any longer. That’s why he looked different. A vigorous middle-aged man stood before me. There was no way I could take on this new Ivan physically. If it had only been me, I would have risked fighting him. But with Brixton unconscious beneath him, I had to be smart. I had to reason with Ivan.

“The apprentice sacrifices their life,” I said. “I know Percy kept the truth from you. That’s how backward alchemy works. That’s how it begins.”

“No. That’s not how it works. You’re lying.”

“It’s Lucien and Percy who lied to you.”

“Lucien? Did he find you? Where is he?”

“You don’t know?”

“I now know of backward alchemy’s true potential. You lied to me, Zoe. You said it was dangerous, you said he was dangerous. That’s why I didn’t embrace backward alchemy sooner. If only—”

“Lucien is dead, Ivan. He’s the man who was found in the shed in the woods last week.”

“You’re trying to confuse me. That man was Heather’s father.”

“No, it wasn’t. Backward alchemy changes how quickly a body deteriorates. It misled the police. It was Lucien. And if Brixton survives—” I swallowed hard and looked at his unmoving form on the cold floor. Don’t look, Zoe. I couldn’t let myself break down. “If Brixton survives, he’s going to be implicated as a murderer unless we find out who killed Lucien.”

“This is madness. The boy is simply exhausted from the Death Rotation. And there’s no reason for the police to suspect him.”

“Lucien caught Brixton following him and grabbed him. Brixton’s skin cells ended up under Lucien’s fingernails.”

“You’re trying to distract and confuse me. Nothing you’re saying makes any sense. Can’t you see backward alchemy’s potential? Look at what I’ve become. When Brixton wakes up, he’ll be stronger too.”

“You don’t understand—”

“You weren’t honest with me, Zoe. How can I believe you now?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s hard for me to open up. But I’m ready to talk now. To share everything I know. Why don’t you come over here and we can talk about it?”

A pained expression crossed Ivan’s face. “I see what you’re doing. You think I wish to hurt Brixton. How little you know of me. I would never do that.”

“I don’t think you would do so intentionally.” I spoke as calmly as I could manage. “It won’t hurt to get him medical attention, will it? Now that you’re done with the transformation, we could—”

“We’re not done. Not yet.”

I said a silent prayer. There was hope for Brixton. “This isn’t you, Ivan. I know you’re a good man. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’ve been lied to.”

“Only by you. You twisted the facts so I didn’t believe what Lucien had to tell me.”

“You spoke with him?”

“He wanted my help. He saw that I had a vast library of books on alchemy and wanted to know if I had Non Degenera Alchemia—the book that you’ve so desperately wanted to understand. You’ve been lying to me since we met. You never wanted to understand that book for the sake of knowledge. Percival told me the truth. It was to save that creature who lives in your attic.” His eyes were pleading. “You could have trusted me, Zoe.”

“Because you’re showing yourself to be so trustworthy,” I snapped before I could stop myself.

“This is your fault,” Ivan boomed. “Not mine. If only you’d been honest with me, I could have had the Elixir of Life so much sooner.”

I looked at Ivan from head to toe. Was he as strong as he now looked? “How do you feel, Ivan?” I asked quietly.

He frowned and smoothed his wild hair. “Percy said I would feel decades younger immediately, but—” He shrugged. “It must be because there’s more to the process.”

I thought back on my own true alchemy transformation. I had discovered the Elixir of Life while searching for a cure for my brother, who was dying of the plague. I was so grief-stricken that I didn’t realize what I had become until I saw that I wasn’t aging.

But true alchemy was different from backward alchemy. The shift in true alchemy was more subtle, because it wasn’t a quick fix. From what I’d seen of backward alchemy, the effects were visible and immediate. Ivan did look much healthier than I’d ever seen him, but the full power of backward alchemy was being diminished by the shift that had taken place six months ago. No matter what Percy claimed, Ivan wouldn’t be able to experience the full effects of backward alchemy until that fissure was fixed.

“There’s indeed more,” I said, “but not in the way Percy told you. Did he tell you that a shift occurred six months ago and that everyone who’d been granted an extended life through backward alchemy began to die?”

“It was because you were hoarding that book! That’s why he and the others had to make and smoke Alchemical Ashes, to fight for their lives. He had run out of his supply.”

“It’s not the book, Ivan. The book contains the secrets of backward alchemy and is tied to Notre Dame, but it has nothing to do with why the power is fading.”

“You’re still lying. I should have believed Lucien when I had the chance.”

“What happened when he came to you?”

“Seeing that I was a scholar of alchemy, he confessed to me that he was a backward alchemist who had been alive for centuries. He suspected you had stolen a book that was his. But I trusted you. I foolishly trusted you, Zoe. He wanted me to steal the book from you, as he said you had done from him. He became angry when I refused. I shoved him out the door.”

“You shoved him?”

Ivan snorted. “You have always thought me a weak old man, but Lucien was weaker. It was not difficult to push him out of my house. He fell down the front steps.”

I gasped.

“It doesn’t take much strength to hurt a frail man,” Ivan continued, “as I know all too well.”

“It was you. It was you who killed him.”

“No, he was not dead. I told you—”

“Did he hit his head when he fell?”

Ivan narrowed his eyes that were no longer tired and blood-shot. “He might have, but he got up and left.”

“To go back to his makeshift alchemy lab to try to make more Alchemical Ashes. He died before he succeeded.”

On the floor, Brixton groaned. Ivan jerked back, startled.

“Brix?” I said, rushing to his side. “Can you hear me?”

His eyes were still closed, but he moaned again. Sweat coated his body.

“Ivan, please,” I pleaded. “We’ve got to get Brixton help.”

“He’s not supposed to be hurt,” Ivan whispered. “He must be faking it. Yes, that’s what’s happening. He’s an attention-seeking kid.”

“He’s not faking it. And he’s going to be arrested for murder.”

“I would never let that happen,” Ivan said. “You think so little of me? If it comes to that, I’ll tell the police what happened.”

I recoiled when Ivan’s shoulder touched mine as he knelt over Brixton.

Ivan cried out. “This isn’t right.” He shook Brixton’s still shoulders.

“He’s not pretending.”

“He’s cold,” Ivan murmured. “Too cold. We must help him.”

“Let me call an ambulance.”

“No.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I’d been so sure I’d gotten through to Ivan.

“We can’t call an ambulance,” Ivan said. “They’ll be back soon. We have to get Brixton out of here ourselves.”

I opened my eyes and saw the good man I’d thought of as my friend.

Ivan handed Not Untrue Alchemy to me. With his newfound strength, he lifted Brixton into his arms and carried him out of the backward alchemy lab beneath Notre Dame.

In the darkness of the tunnel, Ivan swore. “I don’t know if I can find my way out without them.”

“That,” I said, “I can help with.” I turned him towards a faintly glowing light. The glow sticks Constantine and Emma had brought were the perfect breadcrumbs to make our way out.

As I watched Ivan carry Brixton’s limp form from the subterranean gloom out into the summer sunlight, I was filled with two of the most conflicting emotions I’d ever experienced together. The all-encompassing relief of having found Brixton in time was weighed down with the realization that the only remaining hope I had of saving Dorian’s life was the backward alchemy transformation I’d been denying: a sacrifice.

I now knew, with all certainty, that I would have to sacrifice my own life to save Dorian’s. And I knew that I would do it.