Friday after dinner, Mae loaded the dishwasher to the sound of Guardian’s of the Galaxy playing in the living room. She took her time, procrastinating on the inevitable of telling Ian about the baby. She didn’t expect it to be a big deal with him, and yet she was still so nervous she’d barely been able to eat two bites of dinner without feeling like she was going to puke.
She knew her anxiety was more a buildup of the week from hell than about telling him. Merit had been a constant presence in her thoughts and a very active participant in her dreams—especially after his stop at her work Monday morning. She’d been exhausted by Wednesday, and on top of that, the permit situation with Shelby’s clinic had messed up her whole work week until finally a guy in the county commissioner’s office pulled a few strings for them that morning.
Chad Mayer knew Shelby from her father’s senate campaign and was happy to help. Mae’s suspicion the guy was sweet on the youngest Diamond was confirmed when he asked her out after handing over the permit. Shelby had hesitated before demurely saying yes.
She closed the dishwasher door as Cherry Bomb blared from the TV speakers. The main cast was walking in slow motion on the screen as she entered the living room. Ian protested when she reached to hit pause.
“Mom!” He jumped up off the couch, his arms up in the air. “I love this part.”
“You can finish in a minute, bud. I wanted to talk to you first.”
He huffed out a sigh and flopped back onto the cushions, arms crossed over his small chest. Mae rubbed her palms on her thighs before sitting on the coffee table to face him.
“Am I in trouble?”
“No, not at all. Um…remember when Cory’s new brother Elliott was born right after Christmas?”
He frowned. “Yeah.”
“Well…this year, you’ll be getting a new brother or sister after Christmas, too.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to have a baby.”
His frown deepened, and her stomach dipped.
“Do I get a daddy, too?”
Mae’s heart thumped hard. She hadn’t expected that question. Though why in the world she hadn’t, she had no clue. How in the world did she explain this to her son? She blinked away an unexpected sting of tears.
“Ian, I know it’s been you and me for so long. I—”
“I don’t want a new brother or sister,” he declared as he jumped up. “I want a daddy instead.”
Her heart broke at those words. Giving him a daddy wasn’t up to her. She’d tried to make sure he spent time with her brothers so he had strong male role models in his life, but she hadn’t realized he wanted more. He hadn’t asked about his father—or a father—in a couple of years. It was easier to give a pat answer when he was four instead of almost seven.
She reached out and grasped his hands. “Ian, I know this is going to be different, but it’s going to be okay. The three of us are going to be a family together.”
His bottom lip stuck out. “Cory said his brother gets everything. He said his mom and dad love the baby more than him.”
“Oh, hun, it won’t be like that. I will love you both the same. Cory’s parents do, too.”
He yanked his hands away, jumped over the side of the couch, and ran for his room. “I don’t want it.”
“Ian, come back here.”
“No! I don’t want it.”
She was halfway to his door when he slammed it shut. Mae reached for the handle, then hesitated and gave a soft knock instead. “Ian?”
“Go away.”
“Scoob, I love you. Nothing will change that.”
“I don’t wanna talk anymore.”
She drew in a breath and blew it back out as she wiped away the tear rolling down her cheek. “Okay. We don’t have to talk anymore right now, but if you have any questions for me, just ask okay?”
Silence.
“Why don’t you come out and finish watching your movie?”
“I don’t wanna.”
“It’s at your favorite part.”
When he didn’t respond, she leaned her back against the wall and wiped away more tears. This had not gone at all as she’d expected. Her usually easy-going, carefree child had thrown her a huge emotional curveball. Much as she wanted to go in there right now, she needed to give him time to process on his own.
“If you need me at all, I’m going to be in the garage, okay?”
Faced with more silence, she went out through the kitchen and crossed the garage to open the large overhead door. The over-long grass was right there in her face before she turned to face her broken lawnmower.
She couldn’t fix things with Ian right now, but she could fix her damn lawnmower. Based on the online video she’d found, changing the broken mulching blade shouldn’t be too hard.
Forty-five minutes later, her confidence was in the toilet. The entire evening had become a complete failure. Tears were threatening yet again, which annoyed the hell out of her.
Stupid pregnancy hormones.
Her wrench slipped off the bolt she was trying to loosen as she kneeled on a cushion next to the tipped-up mower. She swung the tool against the side of the mower deck in frustration. “Piece of crap stupid thing.”
“That’s not going to fix anything.”
Mae jumped at the sound of the male voice from the open garage door. Her heart rate took off at double speed as she twisted around and saw Merit. She lost her balance and fell back on her butt. He was in front of her in an instant, and she lifted her chin to find herself staring into his dark-lashed, gold-tinged brown eyes as his dark hair fell rakishly across his forehead.
“You okay?”
Oh, yeah, fine. I feel like a complete idiot as you stand there looking hot as hell, but yeah, I’m good.
When he leaned closer with his hand outstretched to help her up, her breath hitched in her throat. She quickly shifted back. One touch from him and she’d be in danger of forgetting exactly what he was.
A playboy she could not depend on.
“What are you doing here?”
Merit stilled, then straightened and stuffed his hands in his front jeans pockets. A frown creased his brow as he wet his lips. “You were going to let me know how things were going.”
Don’t look at his lips.
But her green lawnmower was nowhere near as seductive. Still, looking at him made it hard to think clearly, so she got up off the ground, wiped off the seat of her cotton shorts, and kneeled beside the mower once more. “It’s only been a couple of days.”
“Five. It’s been five days, Mae, and we still have a hell of a lot to talk about.”
She heard the accusation in his voice and fought against a wave of guilt. Yes, she was deliberately keeping him at a distance, but it was the only choice she had.
“I want to be involved,” Merit said.
She picked up her wrench to work the bolt again. “There’s nothing for you to be involved in right now.” And by the time there would be, he’d probably be on to greener pastures.
“Have you gone to the doctor yet?”
“No.”
“I want to go with you.”
What?
Mae’s pulse skipped as she strained to budge the stubborn piece of metal. He wanted to go to doctors appointments with her? Ian’s father’s first ‘request’ had been to tell her to get an abortion.
Suddenly, Merit was kneeling beside her. His large, warm hand closed over hers on the wrench. “Let me help.”
For a brief moment, she closed her eyes and imagined leaning into his strength. Letting his arms close around her as his warmth and yummy manly scent made her stomach flutter.
Realizing she was already starting to lean toward him, she jerked her hand out from under his and rose to her feet. “I don’t need your help.”
Only she stood too fast, and the now familiar rush of dizziness made her sway on her feet. Shit. She braced a hand on the closest thing in reach—Merit’s back.
The wrench clattered to the cement as he turned and caught her at the same time he rose to his feet. For the second time in less than a week she found herself swept up into his arms. The guy had serious hero moves.
“Merit, put me down.”
“You need to schedule that doctor’s appointment.” He started toward the door that led into the house. “Is this normal? Honor hasn’t mentioned anything about fainting.”
“I didn’t faint. I stood too fast and got dizzy.”
He shouldered the door open and carried her inside. Before she could fully enjoy the moments in his arms, he set her down on the couch. When her hand brushed over the old, worn cushions, she grimaced at what he’d think of it compared to the nice, supple leather of his furniture.
“You don’t have to keep doing that.”
He crouched down in front of her. “How often does this happen?”
“Not often.” When his dark brow arched in disbelief, she insisted, “Honestly. And usually I can feel it coming on. It really was that I stood up too fast this time.”
“This time. That doesn’t sound very reassuring—especially after the same thing happened at my house less than a week ago.”
“I’m fine. I swear.”
His gaze traced over her face and body before he rose to his feet, lifting a hand to rake his hair off his forehead. The unruly locks fell right back into place.
“What can I do? Are you feeling okay now? Do you need some water? Do you want to lie down?”
Oh, man, would she love to lie down. Even better if he— “I can’t. I have to fix the mower.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“One of the mower blades broke.” She slumped back against the couch as the weight of the week started to catch up with her. “Feels like I’m fixing something on it every other month.”
“Why don’t you get a new one?”
She scoffed at his perplexed question. “What, you think everyone has a ginormous trust fund to just get a new one?”
His jaw tightened, and he looked away. “What can I do to help?”
Mae narrowed her gaze. He seemed so concerned, she almost believed him. But she’d bet it would only take a little pushing to get him to reveal his true colors. Guys like him were not dependable, and she needed to prove it to both of them before her heart started to overrule her mind.
“You want to help, Merit? Buy me a new one or fix the one I got.”