Mae shut her front door and leaned against it, her breath tight in her chest as she hoped to hear the SUV shut off. The slam of his door. The sound of his footsteps…his knock on—
The motor revved, and then faded as he drove away.
She closed her eyes against the sting of those damn hormonal tears, took a deep breath, and pushed off the door to go change. She’d certainly been right about one thing—he had no clue how a relationship worked. And judging by the last half-hour, it definitely wasn’t going well. Hell, it wasn’t going at all.
The sight of the rumpled bed drew her up short. A wave of memories shortened her breath. Last night seemed like forever ago. What had happened between now and then—or even between this morning and now?
In the middle of stripping her sheets, her phone rang. She ran to the kitchen where she’d left her purse and then hated herself for hoping it was him. It was too soon anyway.
When she saw Honor’s name on the screen, she swiped aside her disappointment at the same time she swiped to answer. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Her best friend’s voice was thick with sympathy. “You okay?”
Now the tears welled up again as she crossed over to the living room. “No, not really.”
“I’m sorry, Mae. It seems like the senator’s been harder on Merit than usual lately. Asher didn’t even know about the money stuff. I don’t think anyone did. You just got caught in the middle.”
She’d bet his pride had a little something to do with not broadcasting that news, and she certainly couldn’t blame him on that. In fact, she’d been shocked at how tough his father had been on him in front of the whole family. Did he really disrespect his son that much?
“I don’t care about the money. I felt bad for Merit, though.” No one had really seemed to stick up for him—other than his mother who tried to end the discussion twice.
“His dad’s been on him to get a job for a while now. It’s good to hear he’s done that.”
“He really hasn’t had a job before now?” she asked with disbelief. She had a brief flashback to Ian’s father, but then shoved it aside. Merit wasn’t even close to Patrick.
“I don’t think so,” Honor said. “Is he still pissed off?”
“I would imagine so, but that would only be a guess. He didn’t speak on the ride, and when we got here, he pretty much dropped me off and left.”
“What? Just like that?”
“Yeah. He said he had stuff to get done.”
“Ouch.”
She threw up her hand, then let her arm flop down to slap against her leg. “You know, I don’t get him. He kept coming after me, pushed me into letting him in, and then I make one little mistake with his parents and he won’t even talk to me.”
“Wait, he’s mad at you? He said that?”
“Not exactly. He said he doesn’t blame me for pretty much blurting out we’re pregnant, but if that’s true, then why just leave—especially after last night.”
“Oh. Last night happened?”
That’s right, they hadn’t had a chance to talk before the disaster that was brunch.
“Yeah. It happened.” She dropped down onto the couch and leaned her head back, eyes closed. “And it was good, you know? Not just the sex, but we watched a movie, and talked, and then this morning, we decided we’d give it a try. Being an us, I mean. Because it makes sense because of the baby.”
She recalled Merit whispering, “Love you, baby,” to her belly. Where had that guy gone?
“And the great sex,” Honor teased.
“And that.” She squinched her eyes tight. “Wait—are you still at his parents’ house?”
“Yes, but I took a walk down by the stables while Asher’s helping with cleanup.”
“Okay.” She breathed a sigh of relief. Last thing she needed was someone in his family hearing Honor comment about the great sex she and Merit had had.
“What are you going to do?”
She was asking about Merit. Mae opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll see what happens. My doctor appointment is on Tuesday morning, and I sent him the info yesterday, so I’ll give him a couple days and see how he is when I see him then.”
“Is this your first appointment?”
“Yeah. Did you and Asher go yet?”
“Ours is next week. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask if you got any tips for morning sickness? Roxanna’s oils help some, but I’m still starting to hate saltines.”
“There’s this Pink Stork tea that helps some. I can bring some by the bakery Tuesday after my appointment if you want to try it?”
“Pretty please and thank you.”
She smiled at the relief in her friend’s voice. They chatted a bit more before Honor had to go, and then Mae kept herself busy with household chores until Ian burst through the door about four in the afternoon. Cory’s parents assured her he’d been no trouble at all, and after they left, she faced him and raised her eyebrows.
“So, you had fun? Your swimming lessons come in handy?” He’d only had a few sessions, but it had gotten him far enough to swim across the pool without a life jacket.
“Yep! It was awesome, Mom.”
He hopped up on to one of the dining table chairs and went on and on about the tall, whirly slides, the inner-tube river, and a humongous bucket that dumped water everywhere each time a bell rang.
While he talked, she got dinner going by slipping a garlic and herb marinated pork tenderloin into the oven. The day that had started with so much promise only to be dragged down into gloom was brought back up by the excitement in her son’s voice. It made her heart happy to hear his joy.
“And you know what else? Elliott isn’t so bad.”
She paused mid-reach into the freezer for a bag of sweet corn, her pulse skipping at the mention of Cory’s baby brother. “He’s not?”
“No. He’s kinda cute and makes really funny faces sometimes. And Cory told me he likes him better now, too.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.” She kept her response vague, letting him steer the conversation.
He slid off the chair and came over by the counter. “Do you know if I’m going to have a brother or a sister?”
“Not yet, Scoob. I didn’t find out if you were a boy or a girl until the day you were born. It was like Christmas for me.”
His nose scrunched up in confusion. “But I was born in July.”
“I know, but what I mean is the surprise was fun. Like a Christmas present and a birthday present all in one.”
He got an awed look on his face, as if imagining how great that could be.
She poured the frozen corn into a small pot to heat on the stove, then set it aside as she grabbed a box of long grain wild rice to pair with the tenderloin. Casting him a sideways glance, she asked, “Do you want to find out if it’s a boy or a girl before it’s born?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. When will the baby be born?”
“My due date is January twenty-third.”
“That’s not far after Christmas,” he said thoughtfully.
“You’re right. But how about we talk about it when it gets closer to the time the doctor can find out? We’ll decide together.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” She reached out to ruffle his hair. “But for right now, how about we set the table together.”
He rolled his eyes, but went over to get silverware and napkins while she grabbed two plates and two cups. She looked at the table once everything was set. Just the two of them for now. Soon, she’d have to fit a highchair in there, which as she remembered, was a tight fit in the corner.
It would be even tighter if Merit were here with us, but we could make it work.
She turned away from the table, unwilling to let her thoughts go down that dangerous path right now. If today was any indication, it might very well just be her, Ian, and the baby. Her chest tightened, giving her a little jolt of panic when she realized how quickly she’d succumbed to longing for the four of them to become a family.
“Mom?”
She slid her gaze to Ian to find him watching her. “Yeah?”
“Will the baby have a daddy? Or will it be like me without a daddy?”
In that moment, her heart broke. Until a week ago, he hadn’t asked questions about his dad, and she certainly hadn’t volunteered the information to him. She knew he’d ask eventually, but even knowing that, she still had no clue how in the hell to explain to the boy who was everything to her that his father hadn’t even bothered to look at him once before signing away his rights and walking away forever.
She’d never tell him that—at least not at this age—so, what could she say that would help him understand, and yet not make him feel unwanted?
She held out her hand. “Come sit with me.” He slipped his little hand into hers, and she walked him over to sit them both on the couch, facing each other. His innocent blue eyes were solemn and a little apprehensive.
“Some daddies aren’t made to be good daddies,” she began. “They don’t know how to take care of someone as special as babies are.”
“Couldn’t my daddy learn? Like I learned to write my letters at school?”
Oh, how she wished it were that simple. And her little Scooby was wise beyond his years.
“Some daddies can’t.” Or more accurately, won’t. “Your daddy’s life didn’t allow for him to take care of you like you needed to be taken care of.”
“Why not?”
She thought for a moment. “You know how Grandma and Grandpa’s puppies didn’t have a dad because the dog daddy just wasn’t there? Some human daddies are like that.”
He squinted, and she could practically see the wheels in his head turning. “And some are like penguin daddies? Like Cory’s daddy?”
She blinked. “Penguin daddies?
“In school, Mrs. Cole told us all about how the daddy penguin carries the egg on his feet, and then helps take care of the baby penguin after it hatches.”
Ah, now she got it. “Well, then yes, some are like penguin daddies.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment. She hated that he might be wishing he had a penguin daddy.
“Merit said babies need lots of extra care.”
The lump forming in her throat swelled. “They do. But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop taking care of you.”
“I know. Merit said that, too.”
Not exactly, but close enough that Ian had gotten the gist.
He tilted his head. “Can I help?”
She smiled. That’s my sweet boy. “Of course you can. One easy way for you to help is to keep doing the chores I ask you to do now, and as you get older, a few others.”
“Like cutting the grass?”
“Definitely.”
“Can Merit teach me?”
Mae bit her lip as she deliberated how to answer that. When she’d first sat him down, she’d intended to answer his very first question, if the baby would have a daddy, but now she wasn’t so sure that was a good idea. She didn’t want to get his hopes up in case things didn’t work out with Merit.
“Maybe,” she replied in reference to the grass. “Did you know he builds tree houses?”
Ian’s eyes went wide. “Really? That’s cool!”
“We’ll have to ask him to show us one sometime,” she said before really considering the words coming out of her mouth.
“That would be awesome!” He flopped back on the couch. “I wish I could have a tree house.”
She was saved from replying by the beep of the oven timer. Leaning over, she grasped his precious little face with both hands and planted a kiss on his forehead. “Let’s eat, Pete. You grab the milk from the fridge, and I’ll get everything else.”
All through dinner, she mulled over his last comment while sneaking peeks out into the backyard. Was there a tree out there that could support a tree house? The one in the corner was a possibility, but she’d have to look closer to be sure. Or, she could ask Merit for his professional opinion.
If he ever came back, that is.