The text Kurt received from Jane on Tuesday night, asking if he was interested in getting a drink after work, was unexpected. He was afraid Talulah or Brant had told her he was the one who’d be joining them for dinner the following Monday, and that Jane was going to try to let him down easy before backing out.
But after he arrived at Hank’s, she told him Brant and Talulah were setting her up with someone—and sounded excited about it. That was when he realized she had no clue it was him.
“What do you think I should wear?” she asked.
He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Revealing the truth could potentially ruin what Talulah was trying to do for him. But answering without telling her he was her date seemed deceptive.
He lifted his beer and took a long pull so he wouldn’t have to maintain eye contact. “I don’t think it really matters,” he said. “You always look great.”
“Blind dates are the worst,” she complained.
The beer in his mouth went down with a hard swallow. “It’s just one night,” he said. “If you don’t like the dude, you don’t have to go out with him again.”
She grimaced. “It’s just awkward, you know?”
He set his beer on the table and began peeling off the label. “When’s the last time you were in a relationship?”
“A serious relationship? I’ve had a few steady boyfriends through the years, but I couldn’t classify any of them as serious, especially those in the last ten years.” She looked thoughtful as she added, “The span of my romantic relationships seems to be getting shorter and shorter as I grow older. What’s up with that?”
“The older you get, the busier you get, I guess. Your friends start marrying off. You go out less and less.” He shrugged. “The pool of possibilities shrinks.”
“And here I was hoping you were going to cheer me up,” she said wryly.
“What about sex?” He’d never brought up this subject with her before, but he thought of it constantly, of course—had wanted her in that way for so long.
“What about it?”
“How long’s it been for you?”
“Three years.” She sighed. “Feels like an eternity...”
His body immediately reacted to her response. He was more than willing to bring that eternity to an end, but he knew she didn’t look at him as a potential sex partner. “Don’t you miss it?” he asked, peeling more of the label.
“Of course I miss it. But what can I do? We live in a small town, which doesn’t afford us a lot of opportunities. You didn’t include that on your list of reasons we’re both on our own, but it’s definitely a factor.”
“Is that why you’re so set on moving?”
“I’m set on moving so that I don’t live and die in the same small town without ever experiencing the bigger world.”
“Won’t experiencing the bigger world be hard to do with a child?”
“It won’t be as easy as doing it by myself, but other people have children and make the most of life. Besides, I want to share what I find with someone. I can make it work.”
He took another drink of his beer. “You’ve never considered marrying any of the guys you dated?”
“Nope. That magic has never been there.” She frowned. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me, and not them. What about you? Have you ever been close to proposing?”
He shook his head.
“It’s so hard to meet the right person,” she complained. “How do you know if they’ll love you even when times get hard? How do you know you’ll be satisfied with them for life? How do you know you won’t outgrow them or vice versa?” She lowered her voice, giving her next words a greater dramatic impact. “How do you know they won’t turn out to be John Wayne Gacy?”
“John Wayne Gacy?” he repeated. “I’ve never met him. Is that someone who lives around here?”
“No. He was a serial killer who murdered more than thirty young men and hid them under his house while he was married.”
“His wife had no clue?”
“Apparently not. He owned a business, too.”
Kurt winced. “That’s an extreme example.”
She lifted her glass. “I’m just saying...you never know what you’re getting.”
“Brant and Talulah seem happy.”
“My grandma and grandpa were happy, too,” she conceded. “But couples like that are extremely rare. Then Nana died, and Papa’s been miserable ever since. It’s been ten years, and he’s still waiting for her to come back.” She sipped from her glass of wine. “I’m not sure I want to sign up for that.”
“Children can bring grief, too,” he pointed out.
She opened her mouth as though she’d refute his statement but closed it again.
“Life is risk, Jane. I mean, what are you really afraid of? You can’t seriously think you’re going to marry a serial killer.”
“I guess I’m afraid I’ll get someone like my father—a smooth talker, someone who’s handsome and seems wonderful on the surface but is really a parasite.” She took another sip of her drink. “Besides, a serial killer is a possibility. Anything’s a possibility.”
He chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone more afraid of love.”
“I’m not afraid of love, I’m just—”
“Afraid of love,” he finished for her.
She rolled her eyes. “I’m afraid of making a mistake.”
“Is that why you want a child?”
“What do you mean?”
“You crave love, but only the love of a child feels safe?”
She made a show of looking under the table. “Damn. Did you come up with that all on your own?”
He rolled his eyes right back at her. “You’re not that hard to figure out.”
“I just never pegged you as someone who was into psychoanalysis,” she said with a laugh.
“Maybe you don’t know me that well.” He wanted to add that maybe he could surprise her in a good way, but he was afraid that would reveal too much.
“Without You” came on. It was an old song. Kurt couldn’t remember the name of the artist, but his parents had listened to it over and over while he was growing up, so it was familiar to him. It was also the first slow song he’d heard since they arrived.
Spontaneously, because he felt talking was only getting him into trouble—he knew he’d have to answer for all the things he wasn’t saying on Monday—he got up and held out his hand. “Let’s dance.”
She blinked at him. During the past several months, they’d played pool and darts and enjoyed plenty of food and drink at Hank’s, but he’d never asked her to dance. He typically avoided that type of thing. He wasn’t good at it. But the place was almost empty, and anyone could handle a slow song.
“Okay,” she said and took his hand.
He’d let himself enjoy holding her in his arms this one time, he told himself. Then he’d break the disappointing news that he was her date for Monday and walk away and leave her alone.
But as the song came to a close, he couldn’t bring the words to his lips.
“Kurt?” Jane said.
His gaze had shifted to her lips. When he heard his name, he lifted it to her eyes. “What?”
The lines that appeared on her forehead showed confusion. “The song’s over.”
“Oh, right.” He let go of her. “Sorry, I was...I was thinking about something else.”
“What?” she asked, sounding perplexed.
He’d been imagining what it might be like to kiss her. He’d wanted to do it for so long, and the desire only grew stronger the more time they spent together. “Just...work stuff,” he mumbled and led the way back to the table.
It felt like Jane had barely fallen asleep when she heard someone at the front door.
She lifted her head to check the time on her alarm clock and saw that it was nearly two in the morning. Afraid Papa had gotten up and was going outside, she threw off the covers and hurried from her room, only to discover her sister coming down the dark hallway.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a startled gasp when they nearly collided.
Kate tried to answer but burst into tears instead.
As usual, Otis was shut in the room with Papa. He whined, aware that something was going on, but fortunately he didn’t bark. Hoping they wouldn’t wake their grandfather since it would mean he might not be able to go back to sleep, Jane took her sister’s arm and propelled her back into the living room before whispering, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Will,” Kate managed to say.
A wave of concern and adrenaline passed through Jane. “He hasn’t been hurt, has he?”
Kate’s chest jerked as if she’d been crying for some time. “I just caught him cheating on me.”
Jane was as stunned as Kate must’ve been. “Will? He would never cheat on you!”
“That’s what I thought. But—” she gasped for breath “—when I got up to go to the bathroom tonight, I saw that he’d left his computer—” another breath “—on the table. I was just going to...to close it for him when I saw a message on the screen from...from another woman,” she finished before dissolving completely into tears and throwing herself into Jane’s arms.
Jane held her and patted her back while trying to absorb the news. Kate and Will had been so happy. They’d been planning to get married! How long had this been going on? “Did you confront him about it?” she asked.
Kate pulled away and used the back of her hand to wipe her nose. “Of course. I was...I was furious. And he...he couldn’t deny it. It was all right there.”
“What was right there?” Jane asked. “What did the woman say?”
“She said she couldn’t...couldn’t wait to...to see him again. And that—” she sniffed “—she’d never forget the feel of his hands on her body.”
Jane led her sister farther into the living room, where they both sank onto the old, comfortable sofa. “Who is she? Where did he meet her?”
“She’s a client. He shod her horse.”
“Is that what he said?”
“I got that much out of him. But he wouldn’t elaborate—just flew into a rage when he realized he’d been caught and couldn’t lie his way out of it. Said I had no right to be snooping on his computer. I told him I hadn’t been snooping, but...I don’t know...it turned into the biggest—” she paused to wipe the fresh tears streaming down her cheeks “—biggest fight we’ve ever had.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jane said. “It’s hard to believe... I mean, the way Will comes across, I would never have suspected him of anything like that.”
“There was one other time when I caught him sending flirty texts to his ex-girlfriend,” she admitted. “But I forgave him for that. She was someone he once cared about, after all, and it can be hard to let go. I never dreamed he was...he was having sex with a client.”
“Are you sure it went that far?” Jane asked.
She nodded. “Once I saw that message come up on the screen, I put in his password—he uses the same one for everything—and read the whole exchange.”
Jane grimaced. “Oh God...”
“Exactly. It was explicit and—” she put a hand on her stomach “—sickening. I actually vomited. That was what woke him up. He could hear me retching.”
Jane felt like throwing up herself. “So...do you think he’ll get with the woman? Is that where it was leading?”
“I don’t think so,” Kate said.
“Why not?”
“She’s married.”
Jane jumped to her feet. “You’re kidding me!”
“Unfortunately, I’m not. Her husband owns an equestrian center in Livingston. That’s partly what made Will so mad. I said—” more tears filled her eyes “—I was going to tell her husband.”
“Oh, wow...” Jane was suddenly filled with so much energy and anger, she began to pace. “So...what are you going to do?”
“I was hoping you and Papa would let me move in with you. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
She’d given up the house she’d been renting with two girlfriends five months ago when she’d decided to live with Will. So Papa’s house was all they both had now. “Of course you can move in here. But...are you sure you want to go that far? You don’t want to try to work things out with—” she almost said the bastard but quickly curbed her tongue “—Will?”
“How?” she asked. “I’d never be able to trust him again.”
Jane knew she probably felt strongly about that now. But the situation could easily change. People cheated all the time—and many were forgiven for it. What was important in this moment was for Kate to feel she had an emotionally safe place to stay for as long as she wanted—and plenty of love to help her get through this crisis. “You’re always welcome here. You know that.”
The fourth bedroom was used for storage, mostly Nana’s clothes and other personal belongings, which Jane had gathered and put there for safekeeping, but the guest bedroom was available. “Did you bring a suitcase or a bag or anything? Do you need me to get it from the car?”
Additional tears rolled down her face as she shook her head. “I didn’t take the time to gather anything. I don’t even have my makeup. I couldn’t think straight. What I’d seen hurt too bad. I just...walked out.”
“I can go back with you tomorrow and help you pack.”
“If he’ll even let me get my stuff.”
“He’d better,” Jane said and meant it. Nothing would make her angrier. “He was the one who cheated, not you.”
“I hate him,” Kate cried.
This was yet another example of a man appearing to be one way and turning out to be the exact opposite, Jane thought but didn’t point that out.
Since her sister was obviously too upset to sleep, she turned on the TV, with the volume on low, and got a blanket from the linen closet to cover them both. Then she put her arm around Kate and sat with her as the minutes ticked away and she continued to cry until she couldn’t cry any longer.
Jane was just thinking about how badly love sucked when Kate finally fell asleep and she was able to slip away to once again find her own bed.
“What’s Kate doing on the couch?” Papa bellowed.
It was so early the sun hadn’t even begun to creep around the blinds in the room. Jane’s eyelids felt like sandpaper when she opened them to see him looming large in her doorway, with Otis sitting dutifully at his feet, wagging his tail. “Shh...” She raised a finger to her lips. “Kate, um...” She cleared her throat to be able to speak more clearly. “She and Will broke up last night.”
Jane was reluctant to say why. Even if Kate could forgive Will for what he’d done, he’d hurt her badly enough that their grandfather never would, and Jane didn’t want Papa to make an already bad situation worse. Kate deserved some time to assess the damage, see if Will was remorseful and decide how she was going to proceed before dealing with pressure from anyone else.
“Why?” he demanded. “Didn’t you tell me they were going to have a baby?”
That was her. She wanted the baby. But in case Kate could hear what they were saying, she didn’t clarify. “They were talking about getting married, Papa.”
“Well? What’s stopping them?”
“You’ll have to ask Kate,” she said. “But, please, wait until she wakes up. It was really late when she got here last night. We’re both exhausted.”
“Oh. Sorry,” he mumbled, finally speaking more softly. “I was just surprised to see her.”
He was also probably eager for some early-morning company since Nana used to get up with him, but this was one day Jane couldn’t roll out of bed any earlier than her alarm dictated. She’d have to handle work at the store on very little sleep as it was. “I’m also going to try to grab another couple of hours, okay? Then I’ll get up and make you some coffee and breakfast.”
“I’ll go out to the workshop and let the two of you rest,” he said, but Jane heard Kate’s voice as soon as Papa reached the living room.
“Sorry to surprise you, Papa,” Kate said. “You don’t mind having me here, do you?”
“Are you kidding?” he said. “I love having you here. You can come whenever you’re willing and able. But what’s going on with you and your young man?”
Jane held her breath while trying to hear what Kate said next.
“Will and I are just...going through a rough patch,” she replied. “And I need a place to stay for a while.”
“Stay as long as you’d like,” he said. Then Jane must’ve drifted off to sleep, because the next thing she knew, her alarm was bleating.
Averil was carrying a box up the stairs to her new apartment when Jane poked her head out of Vintage by Jane to ask if she needed any help.
“Can you leave the store unattended?” she asked in surprise.
“I don’t open for another thirty minutes.”
It wasn’t even noon? Averil hadn’t realized that. But still... “You must have things to do, or you wouldn’t have come in early.”
“It’ll be okay. I’m mostly ready, just have to dust and clean a few fixtures. I clean one section each day before I open so the work doesn’t get overwhelming and I don’t have to hire a service. But I can make a few trips for you. Today I can probably clean after I open. Sundays are usually busy, but since it’s raining, I doubt that’ll be the case.”
Dark clouds had rolled in overnight, but it hadn’t started sprinkling until Averil was on her way over. She’d considered turning around—it was no fun moving in the rain—but since she had the time and had already committed herself to the trip, she’d decided to go ahead and get it done while Mitch was with her parents at church. It was always fun to see the apartment. “Okay. My car’s unlocked if you don’t mind grabbing a box.”
Jane propped the back door open before ducking out into the weather. She was obviously a seasoned veteran when it came to bringing things in through the back. Averil hadn’t even thought to use the doorstop.
Averil continued up the stairs and propped the box on her leg while jostling for her keys so she could unlock the apartment.
As she walked in, she felt the most amazing feeling—the same sense of freedom and independence she’d experienced when she rented the place and when she’d made her first trip with the dishes and other kitchen items. She was really going through with it! She was getting out on her own again, making progress in her life for the first time in four years—ever since she’d returned home with her tail between her legs, so hurt she could barely function, and yet she’d had to function for the sake of her child.
“Life...” she muttered as she wrangled the box inside and put it down near the ones she’d brought in before. She couldn’t wait to unpack and get some furniture. That would be the fun part. But she couldn’t start today. She planned to spend some quality time with Mitch before he had to go back to school tomorrow.
Footsteps sounded behind her, and she stepped aside to make more room for Jane. “Jeez. What’d you put in this thing?” her friend complained, straining beneath the weight of the load she was carrying. “Feels like it’s full of rocks,” she added, nearly dropping the box while lowering it to the floor.
“Sorry. I definitely overpacked that one. It’s filled with books for the shelves I plan on putting here in the living room.” She loved the exposed brick of one whole wall and had already ordered the bookshelves she wanted to put there from an online site.
“No wonder. Are the rest of the boxes filled with books, too, or did I just happen to grab the heaviest one?”
“You grabbed the heaviest one,” Averil confirmed with a laugh.
“Just my luck.” Jane sighed dramatically—teasing—as she rested her hands on her hips and looked around. “God, I miss this place.”
“I bet.” A flicker of guilt put a slight damper on Averil’s enthusiasm. She’d been so caught up in her own situation that she hadn’t given enough thought to Jane’s. It couldn’t be any easier to live with a grandfather battling dementia than to live with strong-willed and opinionated parents after having already left home. At least Dinah and Bill were fully functional; they helped her instead of it being the other way around.
Someone else was coming up the stairs. Surprised to have a visitor, Averil looked at Jane, who shrugged, and they both turned. Averil expected to see the landlady or someone looking for the proprietor of Vintage by Jane, since Jane wasn’t in the store, but it was Charlie, her brother, who stepped through the door they’d left standing open.
“So this is it, huh? These are your new digs?” he said.
He was dressed up and wearing a tie since he’d gone to church with their parents. He was also wet from the rain. But Averil didn’t care. She rushed over to throw her arms around him. She generally wasn’t so demonstrative. They saw each other too often for a hug at every meeting. But she was excited he’d taken the time to stop by and see what she had going on.
“Whoa! I’m glad to see you, too,” he said jokingly when she let him go.
“Isn’t this great?” She spread out her arms and twirled in a circle. “I’m going to live here, in this cool apartment, and I’m going to have dinner parties, for which I’ll make charcuterie boards and waffles with all kinds of toppings and guacamole toast. I’ll string lights out on the balcony and sit outside with a glass of wine while looking down on Lincoln Street. And I’ll create a room for Mitch that’ll be much better than making do with your old bunk beds at Mom’s.”
“In other words, you’re going to start living again—whether it’s practical or not,” he said.
“I am.” She drew in a deep, cleansing breath. “Forget Chase. Forget Brant. Forget all men, for the time being.” She’d been hoping something would finally happen to get her out of the situation she was in—that she’d fall in love and find a good father for Mitch—but she’d had the power to change her life all along. It meant she had to pick herself up, dust herself off and charge forward. And possibly fight much harder than she’d ever fought before. But she could do that. Andra Day’s song “Rise Up” came to mind. She’d been playing it in the car on the way over because it made her feel empowered.
“I’m excited for you.” He turned to greet Jane. “Hey, what’s been going on with you, Janey?”
She’d hung out at their house so much growing up that he’d given her a nickname. Sometimes, when he really wanted to get under her skin, he’d call her “Plain Jane.” With long blond hair and green eyes that slanted up slightly, she was far too attractive to be called plain. But that was exactly why he could get away with it—it was so obviously untrue.
“Not much,” she replied. “I’ve just been running the store and taking care of my grandpa.”
What she was doing for her grandfather proved she was just as pretty on the inside, which made Averil jealous, too. Holding the moral high ground seemed to be so easy for her.
“I hear your little sister will be getting married soon,” Charlie said.
A pained expression crossed Jane’s face.
He blinked at her. “What? Did I say something wrong?”
Jane’s reaction made Averil wonder the same.
“Not wrong, no,” she said. “I’m just...not sure there’ll be a wedding. At least not in the near future.”
Charlie frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Kate and Will aren’t getting along. At the moment, she’s staying with me and Papa.”
Averil stepped closer. “Since when?”
“Since last night,” Jane replied with a wince.
“Oh, wow.” Charlie flipped his damp bangs out of his eyes. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Maybe she’ll get with Kurt,” Averil said.
Jane looked startled, as if the mere suggestion was shocking or repugnant or both. “Why would you say that?”
“Because they’ve been together on and off over the years, right? And I always felt like maybe they were meant to be together.”
“I’ve never gotten that impression.”
Averil was sure she hadn’t misremembered their on-again, off-again flings. “Really? Because they definitely liked each other at various times. I remember talking to her about it.”
“I guess,” Jane said, but she seemed reluctant to admit even that much.
Averil had seen Jane with Kurt on various occasions in the last six months, but she’d always assumed they were just friends. They acted like friends—maintained a single status on social media, were never seen touching or holding hands, often included others so it was a group and not only the two of them. But was there something more going on behind the scenes? She wanted to ask—but not in front of Charlie.
“She’ll probably get back with Will,” Charlie said. “A lot of couples fight. Doesn’t mean it’s over—not in every case, anyway.”
“We’ll see,” Jane said, but she didn’t sound particularly convinced things would go that way for her sister.
Averil wanted to ask for more details about Kate and Will’s split but held off on that, too. She knew Jane wouldn’t talk as freely if Charlie was around.
He gestured at the apartment. “You used to live here, didn’t you?”
“I did. And I really miss it,” she said, then obviously tried to be a good sport by adding, “but at least it’s in good hands.”
Averil linked her arm through her former best friend’s. “You’re welcome here anytime. If you need a break or a meal or just a listening ear, come on up.”
Jane smiled, but it seemed a bit wobbly. “Thank you.”
“Is it true that Talulah’s expecting a baby?” Charlie asked.
Averil had called him the morning after she’d learned herself, because she knew her brother would want to know. She felt so bad for him. He couldn’t get over Talulah. It didn’t matter how long it’d been since they were together. She was his first love and no one had been able to match her. She sort of understood what that was like. Brant hadn’t been her first love, but she considered him the one who got away and couldn’t seem to get over him.
“That’s the latest,” Jane confirmed.
He scratched the back of his neck. “Damn.”
“Right?” Averil said.
“I guess...things change and there’s no stopping it,” Jane murmured.
She didn’t say it as though she saw that as a good thing. She was probably thinking of what was happening to Papa—and her, too, thanks to the disruption of his life. But change was something they all had to face—and Averil was learning it was smarter to do it bravely.