Twelve

Kate came into Jane’s room as she was getting ready for work on Saturday. “What are your plans tonight?” she asked.

Jane had been afraid her sister would hit her up to go out. After spending a week watching TV with Papa after she got home from the pharmacy, and crying over Will, Kate was going stir-crazy. Because Jane was at the store until late in the evening on weekdays, she’d been exhausted when she got home last night and had begged off a trip to Hank’s—also because she’d been eager to get ready for her date with Kurt. He’d texted her earlier in the week to say she should drive over to the far side of the ranch and park among the trees along Bell Road as soon as she closed the store, and to text him right before she left, so he could be waiting for her. That way, no one would see her car, because it would be well hidden, and no one would see them together, because they’d head straight out of town. She also wouldn’t encounter Kate or Papa by coming home to change, which would necessitate a conversation and a possible delay.

Still, she’d had to get out of the house this morning without raising suspicion or making Kate feel any worse, and that was proving to be more difficult than she’d expected. She couldn’t tell her sister she was hanging out with Talulah and Ellen tonight, or Kate would expect to be included. They’d all gone out together before, several times. And she couldn’t say she was having a drink with Kurt, because the same problem would occur—Kate would want to join them. She couldn’t even say she’d be helping Averil move without the possibility of Kate volunteering to pitch in. Kate was that desperate to get out of the house.

So Jane was hard-pressed to come up with a believable excuse. “Actually, I...I have a date,” she said.

Kate straightened in apparent surprise. “With whom?”

“A guy I met online.”

“You’re on an online dating site?” Kate asked skeptically. “I thought you were done with that.”

“I am, but I’ve been talking to this dude for a while, and he invited me up to go to dinner with him in Bozeman before all of this happened with...with Will.” She couldn’t look her sister in the eye—she was such a terrible liar. She busied herself packing the bag she’d be taking with her instead.

“So you’re going to Bozeman tonight? You’re staying over?”

“In separate rooms.”

“But...you’ve never even mentioned him.” Kate sounded confused and with good reason. This was something Jane should’ve brought up before, but she’d been hoping to get out of the house without having to make up a story.

“I don’t think it’ll go anywhere,” Jane said, downplaying it as much as possible. “I probably should’ve canceled.”

“No, you shouldn’t have cancelled. You never get out. Go and have a good time. Maybe this guy will turn out to be someone you were glad you met.”

The generosity of her sister’s response made her deception feel even worse. She had to remind herself that Kate had felt free to devote all her time to Will when she was with him, which had left Jane at loose ends on many occasions. She wasn’t trying to get back at Kate—held no grudge—but she did want to take this opportunity to get what she most wanted in life without a guilt trip. “I’m sorry I’m leaving you on your own...”

“Don’t be!” Kate insisted. “I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine.”

“But...I’m afraid you’ll break down and see Will, and if you get back together with him and he doesn’t treat you right, I’ll feel like it’s my fault.”

“I’m not going to get back together with him.”

Jane stopped shoving makeup into her bag. “You sound more convinced than ever before.”

“I am.” Kate’s shoulders slumped. “This week, I accused him of seeing other women—”

“Besides the one who owns the equestrian center with her husband?” Jane broke in.

“Yes. I bluffed him into believing I found other texts and emails, even though I was so upset I didn’t take the time to search his computer very thoroughly, and he finally admitted that there have been other women.”

“Are you kidding me? What an asshole!”

“I would call him worse,” Jane responded with a frown. “But what good does the anger do? The bottom line is that I can’t pin my future happiness on a serial cheater.”

Impulsively, Jane pulled her sister in for a brief hug. “I know you’re going through hell but gutting it out is the only thing you can do—it’s the right thing.”

“I just never realized how empty my life would be if I suddenly lost Will,” she said. “I was so caught up in the relationship, so happy to spend every second with him, that I neglected my other relationships, and now those people have moved on and filled the place I once held in their lives. So I’m paying the price.”

“I’ll go out with you tomorrow,” Jane promised, letting go of her. “If you could just get through tonight, we’ll have tomorrow night and Monday, when the store is closed, to hang out and talk and decide on the best path forward.”

“Okay.”

Kate remained in the room, watching as Jane finished gathering the items she wanted to take. “Are you not coming home before your date?”

She picked up her bag. “No, I’m going to get ready at the store.”

“I hope you like this guy.”

She wouldn’t hope that if she knew who it was. “The chances of that aren’t very high.”

“You never know. You seem excited.”

She was—although she’d rather not admit it, even to herself. She was also nervous. Fortunately, tonight had been on her mind for an entire week, so she’d had a chance to get prepared and had hidden the black strappy high-neck teddy she’d ordered online in the trunk of her Mustang. Otherwise, with Kate on her heels at every turn this morning, she wouldn’t have been able to get it out of the house.

Jane couldn’t imagine having sex with a man she hadn’t even dated. She’d never done anything like that before. The fact that she’d known Kurt for so long and he had a history with her sister might even make the encounter more uncomfortable. But she hoped if they had a few drinks beforehand, it wouldn’t be too cringeworthy.

When she was ready, she said goodbye to Papa and her sister and rushed out of the house. She was just putting on her seat belt when she got a text from Kurt.

She couldn’t help chuckling as she backed down the long drive. Kurt was sweet and funny. He knew how to put her at ease.

Everything would be okay, she told herself. She was going to be in good hands—in more ways than one.

Kurt waited back off the road in the trees where anyone who happened to pass by would be unlikely to see him. There wasn’t much traffic out where he lived, especially in the evenings. Even if someone did drive by and notice him there, he owned the ranch, so it wouldn’t be remarkable. And if it was one of his brothers, he could easily say he’d spotted a mountain lion or a bobcat and wanted to make sure the cattle weren’t in any danger.

He’d have a harder time explaining why Jane’s Mustang was on the property once she parked nearby, but he highly doubted any of his brothers would come out to the south forty in the next twelve to eighteen hours. Brant had no reason to be around—he was off today—Miles was at his girlfriend’s house in Billings and Ranson was probably gone for the rest of the evening. It was Saturday, after all. If they weren’t hunting, fishing, riding ATVs, snow-skiing if it was winter, or water-skiing if it was summer, they typically went to Hank’s for a drink, over to a buddy’s house to play poker or had a date. They worked so hard during the week they didn’t waste their weekends. Someone had to be available in case there was a problem with the cattle—bloat or a broken water line or fence—but that responsibility rotated between the four of them and was more of an on-call or quick-check kind of situation that didn’t require anywhere near the number of hours they worked during the week.

Fortunately, it was Ranson’s turn to be in charge of the ranch this weekend. Kurt didn’t have to worry about anything—except whether he was ruining his future, in any number of ways.

A car was coming down the road. There she was, he realized when he recognized the Mustang. Right on time.

He got out and directed Jane to pull deep into the trees. Then he grabbed her bag, deposited it in the back and opened the passenger door of his truck before coming around to the driver’s side. They hadn’t clarified whether they’d be staying the entire night in Bozeman or driving back after they’d done the deed. He didn’t know what to expect, but he’d brought his shaving kit with his toothbrush and other toiletries and a change of clothes, just in case.

It felt weird that he hadn’t needed to pack condoms. Until tonight, if he had sex, the goal was not to get the girl pregnant.

“How was work?” he asked once they were both inside the vehicle.

“Busy,” she replied as she fastened her seat belt. “Spring is usually my best time—other than Christmas, of course.”

He pulled onto the road heading toward Bozeman, where he had a reservation at the River Grove Motel, a place he’d vetted online that looked clean, private and comfortable. She’d insisted she’d pay for it, but it felt too odd for him to allow that, so he’d refused. “What will you do about the store if you move?”

“After my lease expires, I’ll take what inventory I’ve got left and start over somewhere else.”

“You still considering San Francisco?”

“Or Seattle. Talulah really liked living there.”

When he allowed himself to look at her for more than a split second, he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. She looked good. He’d always thought she was beautiful. “Why not New York?”

“It’s not out of the question.”

Holy cow. What was he getting himself into? What if she took his child and moved clear across the country? “When does your lease on the store expire again?”

“In a year. I just...I just re-upped.”

So she’d be in town for at least twelve months. Then...who could say what might happen? The good news was that if he got her pregnant right away, she’d be around for the entire pregnancy.

Maybe she’d even let him attend the birth...

That was partly up to him and whether he was willing to let other people, besides Brant, know he was the father, he realized. She’d said the choice was his. But...didn’t she have a preference?

Part of him wanted to be transparent about his role in her life. He wasn’t used to hiding things. He figured he wouldn’t enjoy having such a big secret. But if Jane preferred he not be involved in her life—or the baby’s—he’d rather keep it to himself. Otherwise, he’d catch all kinds of grief from his family for, once again, being too reckless. And if Jane wasn’t receptive to having Jeanie as a grandparent or moved too far away, no one would be angrier with him than his mother.

“Have you been having any second thoughts?” she asked.

He could tell she was nervous, which ironically made him calm down. It wasn’t as if what they were about to do would be difficult. “I’ve had a lot of them.”

She looked alarmed. “Then...why haven’t you said something?”

He shot her a glance. “Because I’m still committed.”

“What you’re doing... I really appreciate it. It...it’s very nice of you.”

“I found a good place for dinner. Have you ever eaten at Huxley’s?”

“No,” she said. “What kind of food do they serve?”

“Pretty much everything—burgers, pasta, pizza. But we can go to a fancier place, if you prefer.” He’d considered taking her to an upscale, expensive restaurant but ultimately decided it might make the evening feel too much like a prom date—or a meal for two people who were celebrating an engagement or other big milestone. He didn’t want to make them even more uncomfortable, so he’d decided on a restaurant that would be nice enough but not over the top.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Do you want to take more time to think about this?” he asked. “We could just grab a bite to eat instead. It’s not like we have to make a baby this weekend.”

“I’d rather not put it off,” she said. “But...can we go to the motel first? Once we get it over with, there’ll be no reason to be nervous, and I’ll be able to relax and eat. Then we could do it again later—just to increase the odds.”

He caught his jaw before it could drop. He’d never had a woman approach sex this way before, but he’d never gone into it with the same goal. “Um, sure,” he said, but that meant they were getting right down to it, and he had only the length of the drive to back out.

He kept telling himself he should apologize and change his mind—that there was still time—and yet he kept driving, found the motel, checked in and carried what little luggage they’d brought into the room.

Jane couldn’t wait to get the next part over with. She knew touching Kurt intimately would be most uncomfortable the first time around. They didn’t have to have sex more than once, but why not? They already had the motel. She figured they should have intercourse as many times as possible to stack the odds even higher in favor of a pregnancy.

“You sure you wouldn’t rather have a vial?” he teased when she took a bolstering breath and began rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans.

“No. That process would be much longer and more expensive, not to mention cumbersome.” She stopped talking to see if he’d insist, but he didn’t. “We haven’t completely decided on what we’ll tell other people, though,” she continued. “We should probably do that.”

“What would you like to tell them?”

“I’m thinking it might be easiest—and smartest—all things considered, to say I used a vial, even if we admit you made the genetic contribution.”

“To save your reputation?” he asked, obviously teasing.

“To preserve Kate’s feelings.”

He sighed. “It’s too bad Will didn’t treat her right—for a lot of reasons, including some selfish ones.”

“The timing of the breakup...it definitely wasn’t to our advantage,” she concurred, but she knew, even as she spoke, they were using conversation as a means to procrastinate and decided it was time to just step up and make it happen.

“I guess... I bought something. I’ll go put it on.” She was reaching for her bag to get the black teddy she’d stuffed into it before leaving the store when she felt the warmth of Kurt’s body close behind her.

“Jane?” he murmured.

She lifted her head but didn’t turn until he put his hands on her shoulders and brought her around to face him. She was tall, but he was several inches taller, so she was staring at his chin. “What?”

“Relax,” he said softly. “This isn’t going to hurt.”

She studied the shape of his mouth, the strength of his jaw and the brief flashes of teeth as he spoke. He was right—this wasn’t going to hurt. She was jumpy and ill at ease not because she thought it would be terrible, but because she was beginning to worry about the opposite. What if it was really good?

Whatever happened, she couldn’t allow her emotions to get involved... “I just...feel so guilty.”

“For...”

“Sleeping with you in the first place. If Kate knew, she’d be so upset.”

“Why would it matter to her? She isn’t in love with me. She’s in love with Will.”

“You’re her old boyfriend.”

“We were never officially together,” he corrected.

“You were together now and then. Enough to have a history and make her feel proprietary.”

“Do we have to talk about Kate?” he asked. “Because you’re all that matters to me right now.”

Swallowing hard, she lifted her gaze until she could see the gold flecks in his green irises. “But this is all so unconventional. Other people wouldn’t approve, which makes me feel as though we must be doing something wrong.”

“Jane?” he said again.

“What?”

“We had plenty of time to deliberate on the drive here.”

“What does that mean? You don’t want to talk?”

“Not unless you’ve changed your mind. If that’s the case, let me know. Otherwise...”

She could smell his cologne. She wasn’t sure what brand it was, but she liked it. “I haven’t changed my mind.” She was, however, growing more and more anxious about the method they’d decided to use. She’d envisioned sex with Kurt being merely the most practical way to get a baby, but she was experiencing far more desire than she’d anticipated.

“I’m glad to hear it. Because—” he lowered his head as he brushed his lips gently across hers “—I can’t wait to make love to you.”

“I thought we were going to have a drink.”

“I was planning on that, but I decided, for the first time at least, we should both know we are going into it with clear heads. That sort of...matters to me.”

“Right. Makes sense.”

Awareness prickled across her skin like static electricity, which wasn’t something she could remember feeling with anyone else. The anticipation alone was intoxicating; she didn’t need the wine.

“Are you okay with this?” he asked.

She wasn’t even tempted to pull away. She suddenly craved the fulfillment promised by his first kiss, which had been as light as the brush of a butterfly’s wings. “I think I’m going to like it,” she whispered and stood on her tiptoes to be able to place her mouth directly on his.

She parted her lips, expecting his tongue, and he used it but as more of an invitation than an invasion. He seemed to be taking everything slow, waiting for her to relax and get involved, and that happened much more quickly than she thought it would. Within moments, she was driven by only one thought: get closer to him.

He cradled her face in his large hands as he gazed down at her. “You’re gorgeous, Jane Tanner. You know that, right?”

It was a rhetorical question, but what he’d said only heightened the excitement building inside her. He made her feel attractive, emotionally and physically safe, and desired—all of which proved to be an incredible aphrodisiac.

“What’s happening to me?” she whispered, suddenly worried about something she’d never considered a danger until now. “I can’t fall in love with you,” she clarified. She’d never get out of Coyote Canyon if she did. “And you can’t fall in love with me.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said and lifted her sweater over her head.