Jane paced in her store. She needed to update her displays, order more bath products and bring some merchandise from storage to fill in where certain items had sold. She also needed to catch up on the accounting and do some financial planning, so she could figure out how she would afford new inventory throughout the year. Owning a business wasn’t easy. There was so much to do, and she usually stayed on top of it. But she was so distracted by what lay ahead of her on a personal level. She was going to have a baby. She’d known for several days and yet she couldn’t get over the shock of it. She’d waited for years and had gone to such drastic measures to make it happen. In the end, it was like she’d been pulling hard on something that had suddenly come loose and smacked her in the face.
She was getting what she wanted—but at what cost?
She glanced nervously out at the street. Normally, she hoped anyone who passed by would come in and shop. Today, she didn’t want to see a single customer, even though it was Saturday and her whole week depended on weekend sales. She wished she could just go into the storeroom and hide.
She told herself she’d feel better if she could gain some resolution on certain questions. But that resolution was hard in coming. Should she tell Kate about the baby right away? Or wait until the first trimester was over?
A lot of pregnant women put off making the announcement until after the first twelve weeks. But word of her pregnancy could get back to Kate before then. And if they made their peace and all was well between them when Kate found out, she’d feel duped.
But telling her sister now, with Kate off-center and already feeling cheated, would be like shouting it to the whole town. Kate certainly wouldn’t keep it to herself. Was Jane ready for the backlash? The stares and whispers? The reaction of Kurt’s family? How would he react to all of that?
Given what’d happened already, everyone would know that he was the father. There were no secrets in Coyote Canyon.
“Shoot.” She picked up her phone. Averil was at work, but if business was slow at the feedstore, she was occasionally able to text back during her shift.
Help! Should I tell her?
Averil would know who “her” was. They’d just talked about the dilemma Jane faced before Averil left for work. But Jane also had to figure out when to tell Talulah and Ellen. She didn’t want to lose her best friends by suddenly backing away and leaving them out of something this important. They’d feel as though she’d suddenly begun to side with Averil to the exclusion of their friendship.
With a groan, she hurried to the bathroom. She felt sick. It could be morning sickness—though she knew it was early for that—or it could simply be the anxiety of having to cope with the consequences of her actions.
She was still in the bathroom, crouched near the toilet just in case her breakfast came back up, when she heard the bell over the door.
Someone had entered the store.
She hadn’t thrown up and wasn’t positive she was going to, so she took a deep breath and gathered her strength. She was still feeling queasy after standing up and washing her hands, but she pasted a smile on her face as she returned.
Her smile wilted the moment she saw who it was. Kurt was waiting for her at the register wearing a solemn expression.
The nausea she’d been battling a moment before welled up again, but she ignored it and steeled herself for what was coming. They needed to talk. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” he responded.
“Good to see you.” It was good to see him. Not only had she been struggling with the ramifications of her pregnancy, but also she’d been missing him, thinking about the nights they’d spent together and wondering what he was thinking and feeling. She knew he had to assume she wasn’t interested in him after the way she’d reacted when they last spoke. But she could hardly reassure him that she wanted an ongoing relationship when she was still planning to leave Coyote Canyon as soon as she could, even if that didn’t happen for several years.
“Good to see you, too,” he said, but he wasn’t quite the same man he’d been before. There was a resoluteness about him that was new, and the steely look he gave her made it feel as though he was almost a stranger.
“I just wanted to stop by and offer a bit of clarification before...before news of the pregnancy can travel too far,” he said.
“Clarification?” she repeated.
“There’s been some question as to my level of involvement if a pregnancy were to happen. I haven’t stated my position because... Well, I didn’t even know whether you’d get pregnant.”
She knew she’d contributed to his uncertainty with all her talk about how difficult conception could be for someone her age. “Yes, I—we need to figure that out.”
“I’ve figured it out,” he said.
She could only brace for what it might be. “Already?”
“There was never really any question. I thought things might go a different way, and we would... Never mind. This is where we are now, and I’m glad you promised that I can be as involved as I’d like.”
Her heart was nearly pounding out of her chest. “And that means?”
“I’m the baby’s father, so I’ll help financially, take visitation rights and do whatever else fathers do.”
Jane felt as though the air had just been knocked out of her. When she’d first presented him with her request, she would’ve bet her business that he’d take little interest. But this sounded like he was prepared for full-on fatherhood. “Are you...are you sure?”
“Pretty sure. I was hoping you’d allow my family to have access to the baby, too. I know we never discussed extended family. This all happened so...quickly. But my mother is a force of nature. She’ll be absolutely destroyed if she doesn’t get to be involved as a grandparent.”
His mother... It felt as though her knees were about to give way, but she willed them to lock and continue to hold her up. The last thing she wanted to do in front of Kurt was slide to the floor. “And your brothers?”
“My whole family. This baby will be a first cousin to Brant’s children. He or she should be allowed to play with Talulah’s baby.”
“Of course.” She’d always envisioned that, knew with Kate living here she’d be back for regular visits even if she did move away. She just hadn’t planned on her personal life and situation becoming common knowledge. When she’d thought of using Kurt’s sperm to get pregnant, it’d always been with an element of secrecy—or the thought that she’d soon be gone from this place and it wouldn’t matter.
He nodded as if that was that, and for a moment, the way he looked at her made her long for his embrace. She missed his touch, his smell, the comfort of his body. But she’d be stupid to make what was happening any more difficult.
“Thanks,” he said softly.
“No problem.” Jane could barely wait until he left the store and was out of earshot before running to the bathroom, where she crumpled in front of the toilet and threw up into the bowl.
Can you come over to the diner for a cup of tea or have you already gone home for the day?
Talulah’s text came in just as Jane was vacuuming the store. She wished she had a reason to get out of going to the diner. After the visit Kurt had paid her a couple of hours ago, she knew Talulah might have an ulterior motive for inviting her.
The possibility made her leery, but she couldn’t lie and say she was gone. It would be too easy for Talulah to check the alley where they both parked.
Jane supposed she could say Papa needed her to get home right away, but she had to face Talulah at some point. If her best friend didn’t already know about the baby, Jane had to tell her. The same thing held true for her that held true for Kate. The longer she put it off, the more upset Talulah would be. No one liked being kept in the dark, especially when it was one of your friends who believed she should be one of the chosen few—an insider.
With a sigh, she texted back.
Will be over in ten.
Jane didn’t think Averil had told anyone about the baby. Averil acted as though she was grateful to be on good terms again and wouldn’t do anything to sabotage their relationship. So if Talulah knew, it had to be Kurt. Talulah was, after all, his sister-in-law, and he also had a stake in what was happening, so it was reasonable he’d feel as though he could break the news.
Jane took her time putting the vacuum away, but eventually she locked up and walked down to the diner.
She hoped Brant wouldn’t be there. She told herself it was possible he’d be at home, but then she saw him and noticed that the diner was clean and ready for business tomorrow. They were done for the day, which meant they were both there just waiting for her.
Oh, God...
Jane hadn’t felt well all day, but she did her best to walk into the diner as if nothing had changed.
“There you are,” Talulah said.
Jane looked around. “Where’s Ellen?” If they were going to ambush her, she figured Ellen would probably be involved. Why wouldn’t she be? She’d already made it clear she agreed with them when it came to Jane’s involvement with Kurt.
Talulah must’ve heard the wry note in her voice because she said, “We didn’t want it to seem like we were ganging up on you.”
Jane glanced at Brant. If that had been the goal, why was he here? Admittedly, he was one of the best guys she knew, but he could be intimidating without even meaning to be. Never mind that he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
Talulah indicated a chair at the table where they’d been sitting. “You look pale. Are you feeling okay?”
“I haven’t gotten much sleep.” She didn’t mention that she’d been throwing up most of the day. She didn’t want anyone who was unhappy about the pregnancy to gloat over the fact that she was getting exactly what she deserved.
Talulah headed around the corner, presumably to get Jane the tea she’d promised in her text. “I can understand why.”
“So...you know,” Jane said.
Brant’s chair squeaked as he shoved it back to be able to face her more directly. “We both do.”
Jane felt her face heat. “And...you’re upset.”
His face creased in a frown. “I can’t say that I’m happy.”
Feeling stubbornly defensive, Jane lifted her chin. “I’m sorry. I should’ve used a sperm bank. Then no one could criticize me because having a baby would only affect me and my life.”
“We’re not here to criticize you,” Talulah started to say but Brant spoke at the same time.
“We’re just worried, Jane.” He raked his fingers through his thick dark hair, making it stand up in front. “This type of parenting won’t be easy for either one of you, but especially my brother, right? What guarantee does he have that he’ll have plenty of time with his child? That you won’t move somewhere that’ll make it hard for him to see his son or daughter?”
Guilt caused her stomach to cramp. “He doesn’t even have to be involved with the baby. It was supposed to be a...a genetic donation.”
“Babies don’t work that way,” he said.
“Maybe not around here. But I thought... I don’t know what I was thinking—just that it would be nice to know my baby’s father.” She sank into her chair. “That’s all.”
Talulah came back with a glass of milk and a piece of red velvet cake she put in front of Jane, but there was no way Jane would be able to eat it. She couldn’t keep anything down. “I’m not hungry, thanks,” she said as she shoved it away.
“It’s your favorite,” Talulah said.
Closing her eyes, Jane gripped her forehead with one hand. “I’m not feeling well enough to deal with this conversation right now. I think I have to go.”
Talulah caught her arm as she got back up. “Jane, please don’t be mad—or hurt. We know you’ve been under a lot of pressure taking care of your grandfather and running the store on your own. We can see why you might long for a child—for the change and excitement that would create, as well as all the rest of it. We know you’ll make a great mother. We just don’t want this to negatively impact your life. Or Kurt’s.”
“Kurt and I are both adults,” she said. “We’ll work it out on our own.”
She’d just opened the front door when Brant spoke again. “You know he’s in love with you, right? That’s why he did it...”
She whipped around. “That’s not true!”
He got up and came toward her. “You haven’t been able to tell?”
She opened her mouth to deny it, but what she’d been refusing to see was suddenly so obvious she couldn’t hide from the truth anymore. Kurt wasn’t in love with her. Jane wouldn’t go that far. But he certainly cared for her, or he wouldn’t have done what he’d done—and that was why everyone was so upset. They thought he cared, and she didn’t.
Kurt saddled his horse and headed out onto the ranch. It was Sunday evening and he didn’t want to hang around the house any longer. He was afraid word of the baby was spreading so fast it’d reach his brothers or his mother at any time.
Letting his head fall forward, he stared at the ground, allowing Poseidon to amble at will. Should he not be involved with the baby? Let Jane have him or her?
It might be easier, in an emotional sense, not to engage at all. If he committed his heart, he could be hurt, frustrated or disappointed with how things turned out. He was an “all in or all out” kind of guy. But he knew he’d regret not getting to know his own child, which meant he didn’t really have a choice. He didn’t want to be that guy in twenty years who had an angry young person show up on his doorstep demanding to know why he or she hadn’t meant more...
His phone went off. He assumed it would be the call he’d been expecting from Brant—or maybe Talulah, since she was the one he’d confided in—and wasn’t going to answer. He didn’t want to have an upsetting conversation with either one of them right now. But the call came from a number he didn’t recognize.
He almost let it transfer to voice mail but, at the last second, on impulse, he hit the talk button.
“Hello?”
“Hello?” The voice on the other end was overly loud, and the guy didn’t seem to have heard him answer.
“Hel-lo?” Kurt said again, almost shouting. “This is Kurt Elway. What can I do for you?”
“Kurt, did you say?”
“Yes. Who is this?” Did this person even know him? It had to be a crank call or a misdial, he decided, and was about to hang up, when the caller spoke again.
“It’s Jane’s grandfather. Are you the fellow I met here the other night?”
Kurt reined in his horse. “Yes. How’d you get my number?”
“My neighbor gave it to me. Said he buys beef from you. I used to buy beef from you, too. I think. Anyway, is Jane with you?”
The old guy had remembered his name? That was something. “I’m afraid not.”
“Oh. I thought maybe she would be.”
“Is something wrong?”
“Well...” His first word was audible, but then he proceeded to mutter something Kurt couldn’t quite make out.
“What’d you say?” Kurt asked, but it sounded like Jane’s grandfather had dropped the phone. At any rate, it went dead, and he’d sounded so flustered Kurt wasn’t certain he’d call back or pick up if Kurt tried to reach him.
Uncertain of what that call might mean, he scowled at the blazing sunset. It was a beautiful sight, but he was too caught up in his thoughts to admire it. What had made the old guy go to the trouble of finding his number and calling him? Jane had told Kurt a little about how her grandfather could be lucid and sharp one minute and completely disoriented the next. This was obviously an example of that.
Kurt checked his watch. Jane closed at five on Sundays. She’d been off for two hours. Where had she gone?
In any case, her grandfather was probably fine, he told himself. After all, according to what he’d said, he’d spoken to the neighbor. Surely, the neighbor would’ve helped him out if he needed anything. And even if he did need something—say, he was hungry—he wouldn’t starve in an hour or two. No doubt Jane would be home soon. She took excellent care of him.
Kurt wheeled his horse around to head back to the house. If his brothers were going to confront him, he figured he’d be better off to face it and quit stalling. Although he’d enjoyed the solitude of his ride, he couldn’t hang out on the ranch forever.
But something about the call from Jane’s grandfather troubled him. The old guy had never tried to reach him before.
Drawing Poseidon to a halt, he dialed the number that’d appeared on his screen a few minutes earlier.
“Jane?” The name nearly blasted through the phone.
“It’s Kurt. What’s going on over there? How can I help?”
“It’s my dog. He won’t get up.”
“Where’s your neighbor? The one who stops by each night?”
“Herbert? I talked to him on the phone, but he visits his daughter on Sundays.”
“And Jane?”
“Can’t find her,” he replied, sounding bewildered. “Can’t reach Kate right now, either, and I’m afraid Otis won’t make it.”
“Has he been hurt?”
“Not that I know of.”
Had the dog had fallen ill? If something happened to that animal, it would come as a major blow to Jane’s grandfather. By all accounts, Otis and Papa meant a great deal to each other.
“I’ll be right there,” Kurt said and gave Poseidon a gentle kick to let him know he had to reach the house as soon as possible.
When Kurt arrived at Jane’s, he didn’t see her Mustang. He didn’t see Kate’s Bronco, either.
He climbed out of his truck and jogged to the stoop. The door was standing open—even though it’d chilled off since the sun went down—so that seemed odd.
“Mr. Tanner?” He poked his head inside. He knew that most everyone in town simply called Jane’s grandfather by his last name. Jane had said he’d gone by Tanner since he’d played baseball in high school. But putting the “Mr.” in front seemed the politest approach, since they didn’t really know each other.
When he didn’t get a response, he stepped inside the living room. “Hello? Anyone home?”
Finally, he heard a voice call back to him. “In the kitchen!”
Kurt weaved through the furniture to reach the other room and found Jane’s grandfather down on his knees on the linoleum, looking distraught as he tried to coax his dog to eat.
Otis wasn’t interested in the food. He looked at the kibble in his bowl, then up at his elderly owner as if he wanted to comply but couldn’t. He didn’t even get up to greet Kurt like most dogs would. After a moment, he just rested his muzzle on his paws and watched them both with sad eyes.
“Something’s wrong,” Tanner said. “Look at him. He won’t eat. He’ll hardly move. That’s not like Otis.”
Dogs could get sick, just like humans. This didn’t have to be life-threatening. But Kurt wasn’t taking any chances. Jane had enough going on in her life; she didn’t need to lose another member of her family, especially when it would leave her grandfather so bereft.
Bending down, he lifted the animal into his arms. “Let’s get him to the vet.”
“Right now?” Tanner’s gaze shifted to the window, where it was easy to see it was dark outside. “Is the vet even open?”
“The clinic might not be. But you know Jim Stubing. He’ll see a sick animal at any hour, and his house is connected to his clinic, so as long as he’s home, it won’t be hard to find him.”
Jane’s grandfather had to use the counter to get to his feet. “I don’t know Jim Stubing,” he said, sounding confused, but Kurt suspected he would’ve at least recognized the name before he started losing his memory. Jim was almost as old as Tanner. He’d been around Coyote Canyon forever.
“He’ll take good care of Otis,” Kurt said. “Don’t worry.”
Tanner seemed so relieved, Kurt thought a trip to the vet would be worth the price if only for the peace of mind it could offer.
“Where’s Jane?” Tanner asked as Kurt headed out with the dog.
“I don’t know,” Kurt called back. He’d tried to call her on the drive over, but she hadn’t picked up.
“I’m not sure I should leave without talking to her,” he said as he followed Kurt into the living room.
Kurt paused at the door. “Would you rather stay and wait for her to come home? I can take Otis to the vet myself. I know him well, have had him out to the ranch plenty of times over the years to attend to a sick horse or any number of cattle.”
“No, I’ll go with you,” he decided, probably because he didn’t want to be separated from Otis. “I’ll drive. Where’re my keys?”
No way was Kurt going to allow that to happen. “We’ll take my vehicle. It’s in the drive.”
“Okay,” he responded—thankfully accepting Kurt’s response—and tried to leave the house without a coat.
“It’s cold out. You should grab a jacket or something,” Kurt told him, and he went back inside, presumably to get one, while Kurt loaded Otis into the back seat of his crew cab.
When the old guy came out again, he had on a red cardigan, but it was buttoned wrong.
“Let me straighten this,” Kurt said and helped him fix the buttons.
“You’re a good man,” Tanner told him when he was done. “I’m glad Jane’s got you.”
Kurt knew dementia was crippling the old man’s brain, but the comment took him off guard all the same. “I wish she was glad,” he said jokingly.
“Don’t you underestimate my Jane,” Tanner said, surprising him again. “She knows a good thing when she finds one.”
Kurt couldn’t help but smile—despite the baby, despite the backlash that would soon come when news of it hit, despite his current lack of belief that Jane would ever see him as anything special. That comment made him feel like he had nothing to worry about.