Jane felt like she was holding a ticking time bomb—one she couldn’t let go of even if she wanted to. She could hide the pregnancy for a short while, but soon it would become obvious, and after nine months her whole life would change.
She wished she felt more excited about it. She’d wanted a baby for so long, had anticipated an entirely different reaction to the news when she first set out on this journey. But right now, she was too worried and anxious to be happy about what she’d done.
She wondered if by the time the baby was born, she’d have everything resolved in her heart and mind and would be able to enjoy the process. She also wondered if Kate would be talking to her by then. Jane didn’t expect people to be excited for her the way they were for Talulah—talking about baby showers and nursery colors and all the other things having a baby usually included. But it would be nice if her sister wasn’t still holding a grudge—and Kurt’s family wasn’t too terribly upset.
Would he ask to be in the room when she had the baby? Jane had always assumed Kurt probably wouldn’t want a large role in their child’s life. He was single, after all. He’d never expressed any interest—to her—about starting a family. But wanting to be a mother wasn’t something she’d talked much about, either—until she’d finally revealed it to him. And now that everyone would know he was the father, he’d feel as though he had to step up even if he wasn’t eager to do so.
That opened a whole new host of questions and dilemmas.
She glanced over at Papa, who seemed to be absorbed in the news on TV, before picking up her phone to check her missed calls and messages.
She didn’t have any. But she was bored and restless, so she checked again only five minutes later. There was so much turbulence inside her, the night seemed oddly uneventful by contrast.
With a frown, she finally dialed her sister.
Kate didn’t pick up. Jane guessed she was more embarrassed to have gone back to Will than anything else. Or that she was using Jane’s relationship with Kurt as an excuse to stay away and live in her own little bubble, where she could pretend forgiving Will was a decision that would end well. Either way, she didn’t respond.
“Who are you calling?” Papa asked.
Jane set her phone back on the coffee table. “I was trying to get hold of Kate.”
Otis lifted his head at the sound of their voices, and Papa scratched behind his ears as he always did. “Where is she? I thought she was living with us.”
“She went back to Will.”
“Who’s Will?”
“Will’s her boyfriend, Papa.”
“Why’d she leave him in the first place?”
“Because he’s not a good person.”
“Then why’d she go back?”
Jane swallowed a sigh. “Because she’s in love with him, and she doesn’t want to face the truth.”
“Maybe I should have a talk with her,” he said.
Before Jane could respond, she got a call. But it wasn’t from Kate; it was from her mother. Karen had tried to reach her earlier, while she was at work, but instead of answering, Jane had turned off her ringer and set her phone aside. Since she’d barely learned she was pregnant, she figured she deserved twenty-four hours to get accustomed to the idea—and come to terms with the possible consequences—before trying to fake a cheerfulness she was too worried to feel.
It’d been long enough now that she had to answer, however. Otherwise, her mother would start contacting others in town, asking them to check on her.
“Hi, Mom.”
“There you are. I called earlier and left a voice mail...”
“Sorry,” she said. “It’s been a busy day.”
“How are things at the store?”
“Business is growing.”
“Good. What are you doing right now?”
“Watching TV with Papa. I made him chicken-fried steak and sweet potatoes for dinner, and now we’re relaxing before bed.”
“You’re so kind to him.”
It’d been easier to take care of him when Kate was around. Having someone else who could be there when she wasn’t—at least some of the time—had offered a great deal of reassurance. But thanks to Will, that hadn’t lasted.
For the first time, Jane began to wonder if she was going to be able to handle Papa, a new baby and the store. When she guessed at her conception date using a pregnancy due date calculator, it said she was due on December 21, which was the busiest time of the year.
What she’d done suddenly seemed so reckless. She’d definitely overreacted to the claustrophobia she’d been feeling because she couldn’t move away from Coyote Canyon...
“I try,” she said.
“I just spoke with Kate...”
The change in her mother’s tone alerted Jane that this wasn’t just a catch-up call. “Then you know she’s back with Will.”
“She’s not certain about that.”
“She’s been with him for five straight days.”
“She said you’re seeing Kurt Elway. Is that true?”
Since she was going to have to tell her mother she was pregnant at some point, Jane figured she’d better say yes. That they’d had a fling would be easier for Karen and everyone else to accept than the truth. Her mother would never understand her trying to get pregnant, not without marriage—or at least a relationship. She guessed Kurt’s mother wouldn’t understand it, either. “We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks.”
“And you didn’t tell me? Why?”
“It’s too new. It probably doesn’t mean anything.”
“Well, if it does end up going somewhere, the Elways are a wonderful family.”
“They are. But like I said, I doubt it’ll get serious.” She touched her stomach. Could it get any more serious than a baby?
“I’m excited by the possibility that you’ve found someone, honey.”
Assuming Kate had already told their mother how Jane had moved in on someone in her circle, she said, “Kate’s not happy about it.”
“I know. But I don’t understand why she’d have a problem with it.”
“Especially because, like I said, it’s not serious.”
“Are you sure he feels that way?”
She wasn’t sure of anything. But at this point, she felt she’d be lucky if Kurt didn’t hate her. “We haven’t talked about it.”
“He must be telling someone, because Jeanie called me.”
Jane gripped her phone that much tighter. Was he telling people? If so, what, exactly, was he saying? “Why would his mother call you?”
“Because we’re friends.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“You were in college when we were both in the PTA. We worked on the floats for Homecoming together two years in a row.”
“When Kate and Kurt were in high school...”
“Yeah. We thought they’d eventually get together and used to joke around that we’d probably be family one day. We never dreamed it would be you and Kurt instead.”
Jane dropped her head in her hand.
“What is it?” Papa said, concerned by her reaction, but she looked up again, waving him off with a manufactured smile.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high,” she said to her mother. “I mean...it’s so new.”
“That may be true, but you’d be perfect for each other,” her mother announced—and that was when Jane said she had to go. Everything just seemed to be going from bad to worse.
“Is something wrong, honey?” Papa asked after she said goodbye and hung up.
“No, everything’s fine,” she insisted and wished she could crawl into his lap like she used to do when she was a little girl and feel the same comfort and protection. He’d always been able to set her world right. But this time there was nothing he could do that would erase what she’d done—or mitigate the consequences.
Although the store had been everything to Jane since she started the business, it was difficult to focus on work today. She went through the motions of dusting and making sure there was enough cash in the till, but her heart wasn’t in it. She just needed to get it done. If traffic was slow at any point during the day, she planned to go online and find a good ob-gyn—they didn’t have one in Coyote Canyon—to make sure she and her baby received the care they’d need.
When she thought of seeing a doctor and making everything official, she felt a niggle of excitement. Why be so remorseful? She was getting what she wanted, she reminded herself.
But that small flame of positive feeling was snuffed out almost immediately by the appearance of her first customer of the day—who just happened to be Jeanie Elway.
Choking back a groan, she clasped her hands in front of her as the older woman came in. “Good morning.”
When Jeanie smiled widely, Jane could easily guess what she was thinking: This could be my future daughter-in-law. Maybe she can get my reckless son to settle down at last.
Except Jane was responsible for the most foolish risk Kurt had taken to date. Jane couldn’t imagine Jeanie would be quite so pleased when she realized the true nature of the situation.
“Good morning.” Jeanie gestured at the windows, where the sun was shining through. “The weather has been incredible lately, hasn’t it?”
Jane had scarcely noticed. She’d been too embroiled in all the drama in her life. “It has,” she agreed.
“How’s your grandfather?”
“He’s doing the best he can.”
“I spoke to your mother last night. She’s so proud of you for taking care of him.”
Was that what the world had come to? Everyone was shocked and surprised that she was willing to sacrifice for a man she owed everything? “I love him,” she said simply. “He’s been good to me.”
“But not everybody would do what you’re doing.”
The compliment made Jane squirm. Jeanie was giving her too much credit, considering how she’d screwed up in other areas of her life. “It’s not that big a deal.”
Jeanie adjusted her heavy-looking purse. “How’s Kate these days? I haven’t seen her in forever.”
“She’s still working at Vidlar’s.” That was the best Jane could offer as an update on Kate, so she left it there.
“I’ll have to stop by and say hello.”
“I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”
Jeanie looked around the store. “You’ve got some nice things in here.”
“Thank you. Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?”
“My sister has a birthday coming up. So does my sister-in-law. I thought I’d see if I could find them each a nice gift.”
“No problem. Let me know if you have any questions.”
Jeanie browsed for about ten minutes before bringing a number of items to the register—so many that Jane was fairly certain Jeanie was buying more than she needed just to support her. And that made the guilt she was feeling even worse. “Looks like you’re buying for several people,” she said.
“I figured I might as well stock up. You never know when you’ll need a nice gift.”
Jane was tempted to point out that it would be expensive, but she didn’t want to sound as if she was questioning Jeanie’s financial viability. She froze for a second, wondering how to discourage Kurt’s mother from spending so much just because it was her store, but couldn’t quickly come up with a good solution.
“Is everything okay?” Jeanie asked.
“Yes. Yes, of course,” Jane replied and went ahead and rang her up.
She was just bagging everything when Will came into the store. Kate wasn’t with him, so Jane had no idea what he could want. He’d never been in her store before, at least not without Kate.
He milled about the outer edges until she could say goodbye to Kurt’s mother.
“When it rains, it pours,” she muttered.
“What?” he said as the door closed behind Jeanie.
Jane squared her shoulders. “Nothing. What can I do for you?”
He shifted on his feet. “I wanted to swing by and...apologize,” he said, his voice getting softer as the sentence went on.
Jane felt her eyebrows shoot up. “To me?”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his head where she’d hit him. “I realize I scared you the other night. That’s why you got that frying pan.”
“That’s true,” she agreed. “I was afraid of what you might do to Kate.”
“I would never really hurt her.”
“Doing what you did crossed the line!”
He hung his head. “I know. I was feeling so bad I didn’t know how to react. And now that I have a second chance with her—or even just the chance of a second chance—I plan to change whatever I need to. I definitely don’t want to lose her.”
“Don’t you think you should’ve thought about that before you cheated with someone else’s wife?” she asked. “And what about the other women?”
“I don’t know why I was doing what I did,” he said. “Once I got caught up in it, it was like...a drug, I guess. A rush—a big ego boost. But this made me realize I don’t care about any of those other women. It’s Kate I love.”
Jane guessed he’d been telling Kate the same thing, or she would’ve come home.
A penitent Will was harder to turn away. Jane could only imagine how torn Kate was feeling and finally had some empathy for her sister’s current dilemma. When was it safe to forgive a partner for something like that? And did forgiveness include getting back into the relationship? Would he be true to Kate in the future, or would she only get burned again?
Jane knew the statistics for this type of thing weren’t in her sister’s favor. Serial cheaters tended to keep cheating. But certainly there were people who turned their lives around. It had to be possible. What if he was the exception to the rule? “Whether Kate comes back to you or not is up to her,” she said.
“I just don’t want you working against me. I have enough to overcome.”
What could she say? She’d soon be apologizing to people herself, hoping to find some forgiveness. “I’m protective of her, so this is difficult for me. But I’ll try to stay out of it.”
“Okay.” He flashed her a relieved smile. “I appreciate it.”
Jane came out from behind the counter. “But if you ever hurt her again, I swear I’ll never give you another chance—”
“I won’t,” he broke in, sounding adamant.
Hopeful that he was being honest—and would remain true—she nodded. She’d made so many mistakes lately. She could only pray this wasn’t another one.
On the other hand, maybe she didn’t have to feel too much responsibility. She didn’t think she could stop Kate from going back to him even if she tried.
Kurt drove up and down Lincoln Street, wrestling with himself. He’d asked Jane if he could have a day to think about the baby, and she’d given him that and two more days so far. She hadn’t texted, called or tried to get hold of him since.
He should’ve reached out to her by now. He couldn’t point to just one reason he hadn’t. He was still wrestling with the reality of becoming a father, especially in this way. He was afraid of the disappointment he’d feel if she reacted as she had before—as if it was only a baby she wanted from him. And he was trying to decide how he was going to approach the situation now that his future had changed. Did he tell her what he truly wanted was a chance with her? Or would that only make things that much weirder when they had the baby?
Of course he had to be the Elway brother who would do something like this. If Ranson had any clue about Kurt’s true situation, he would never have told their mother that Jane had spent the night. And once he learned what was going on, he’d think Kurt was an absolute fool.
Miles might be more understanding. He was kinder and gentler than the others by nature.
For a moment, Kurt considered going to Miles for advice. It would be a better experience than admitting to Brant that he’d gone through with what Brant had told him not to do. But understanding wasn’t what he really needed. He needed to talk to someone who would level with him even if it was rough—to see if his thoughts made sense and to decide how he was going to handle things as they stood now—and Brant and Talulah knew Jane best. So instead of making another pass in front of Jane’s store, he parked near Talulah’s Dessert Diner and went in to see what she and Brant were doing and whether there might be an opportunity to have a private conversation with them.
The breakfast buns Talulah made every Saturday were a big hit with the morning crowd. But once they sold out—and they always did by ten thirty or so—there was a lull in business until people started to come in to pick up dessert for dinner. He could tell he’d hit that quiet period perfectly when he found the diner empty except for Talulah, who was bringing fresh cakes out from the kitchen in back.
“Hey, little brother,” she said, sliding the display case closed after putting in a fresh four-layer carrot cake.
He liked her, had always liked her and hoped her opinion of him wouldn’t change after she found out about the baby. “Hey.”
“What are you up to?”
“Just thought I’d stop in for a cup of coffee.”
“Is that all you want? I saved a breakfast bun for Brant, but he’s been too busy building the new deck at our house and hasn’t been able to make it over. I could warm it up for you instead.”
“No, take it home to him. Black coffee is all I need.”
“You got it. What’s going on?”
“Not a whole lot.”
She brought his cup around the counter and placed it on the table instead of handing it over the display case. Then she sat across from him and studied him while he drank it as if she was waiting for him to say what was on his mind. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” she asked at length.
He hesitated to say what was really on his mind. He’d mostly been hoping to find Brant. After all, Talulah was Jane’s best friend. It didn’t feel right to tell her before Jane could.
“Jane’s pregnant,” he said without preamble.
She said nothing for several long seconds. Then she leaned back and folded her arms. “I was afraid of this.”
He took another swallow of coffee. “You knew it was a possibility?”
“I advised her against it.”
“When was that?”
“Fairly recently.”
He set his cup down. “It was probably too late by then.”
“Probably.” Talulah remained quiet for several seconds, before asking, “How do you feel about it?”
“Torn,” he admitted.
“In what way?”
“I wouldn’t mind having a baby. I’m thirty, not eighteen. I’m financially stable and live a decent life with lots of family support. It’s just that I would rather things had gone a different way, and I feel as though I may have screwed up my life by reaching for something I can’t get.”
Talulah scratched under her hair. “You don’t think Jane likes you as much as you like her.”
“Do you?”
“She’s in so much denial about this whole baby thing that it’s hard to tell what’s going on in her heart and head.”
At least he wasn’t the only one having trouble reading Jane...
“When are you going to tell Brant?” Talulah asked.
“As soon as he finds out she’s pregnant he’ll know the baby’s mine. I told him she asked me to help her have a child.”
“Wait—he knew it was a possibility?”
“I’m sure he thought he’d squelched it.”
“So we both knew but didn’t tell each other,” she said with a chuckle. “That’s proof that we’d be torn between the two of you if this goes wrong. How do you think your mother will react?”
“She’ll do whatever she has to in order to be part of the child’s life.”
“What about you?”
He stared down into his inky black coffee. He’d put off making a decision about that, hoped the situation with Jane would change and that his place and his duty as the baby’s father would be natural and expected. But that didn’t seem to be happening. Although Jane had said he’d have his choice as to whether he wanted to be involved, she might be hoping he’d walk away. That meant she’d pay for the child, which would not be cheap, but it would also give her the most freedom, and freedom was what she craved.
“Kurt?” Talulah prompted, leaning in to catch his eye.
He looked up. “I plan to take responsibility and have full parental rights.”