Growing in the Faith

Having a Personal Relationship with God through Prayer

Prayer is a type of communication that’s not all that different in method from texting or Skyping or (how old-fashioned!) writing an e-mail. But what makes prayer unique is that it allows people to converse with God, and it allows God to communicate with them.

Reading the Bible is a form of prayer. Catholics believe God communicates to us through divine revelation, which is contained in both Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition. Making time to read the inspired Word of God is not always easy, but it is essential to the life of faith.

The problem is that people’s lives are so busy — and so noisy — that many consider prayer complicated because finding time to pray seems so difficult. As a result, they may have a prayer experience only when they attend Sunday Mass. But the truth is that the soft voice of God can be heard only in the quietness of prayer. And while the Divine Liturgy (another name for Mass) is the source and summit of Christian prayer, we are challenged to be prayerful people every day — not just every week, month, or year. Whether you pray mentally or verbally, it all serves to bring you closer to God.

Practicing the four types of prayer

This section shows you how to pray the four types or acts of prayer: adoration, contrition, petition, and thanksgiving. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass contains all four elements and, therefore, is the most perfect prayer of the Church, but you can practice these four types of prayer in your own quiet time.

Adoration

Adoration is the worship of God, whether private or public. It’s a matter of justice that creatures endowed with reason (like human beings) owe worship to the Creator. As His follower, you praise God not for what you can get from Him, but merely because of who He is. As Supreme Being, Creator and Lord of the Universe, King of Heaven and Earth, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, He deserves recognition and praise. In the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the Gloria, Sanctus, and Alleluia are prime examples of praise (see Chapter 10).

When you pray, praise and worship God for who He is. Focus your prayer on Him alone and your relationship to Him. You can prayerfully adore God just by thinking of His many attributes, praising His greatness, and being in wonder and awe of His power. Affirming the Lordship of God, that He rules and His will is our objective, is real adoration. Psalm 145 and Daniel 3:56 are classical sources of worship prayer.

Contrition

Contrition is having sorrow for one’s sins. With this element of prayer, you express regret for the wrongs you have done and ask God to forgive you and cleanse you of your sins. You seek God’s mercy and forgiveness while expressing a firm purpose to change your life. In other words, contrition is a prayer of repentance. In the Mass, prayers of sorrow are expressed in the Confiteor, Kyrie, and Agnus Dei (see Chapter 10).

When a sinner recognizes his sinful past and is truly sorry for offending God, who is all good and all loving, the sinner’s sorrow is known as perfect contrition. The opposite, imperfect contrition, occurs when the sinner is motivated purely by a fear of punishment.

If you’re truly sorry for your sins and want to pray a prayer of contrition, tell God you regret making a mistake. Ask Him to forgive the sins you committed (such as the commandments you broke, and so on) and also ask for the grace to resist temptations in the future.

Petition

Petition (also called supplication) is a specific prayer request that asks for God’s assistance. At Mass, the General Intercessions (Prayer of the Faithful) is an example of this type of prayer. Simply ask God to heal someone who is sick; to help a friend who is unemployed to find a job; to bring tranquility to a rocky marriage or friendship; or whatever else is on your mind.

Sacred Scripture says that you are to ask, for in so doing you shall receive (Matthew 7:7-8). However, when making prayer appeals, you must remember that God answers your prayers according to how He sees fit. And the divine perspective always takes the view of your eternal reward in heaven. So if you pray for a new car or a bonus at work, don’t be shocked if you don’t receive it! The Church advocates using petition to pray for each other’s needs as well as your own.

Thanksgiving

Prayers of thanksgiving recognize the debt you owe to God for all the blessings and gifts bestowed on you, personally and communally. As you pray, always offer a sincere thank you for all that He has done for you. Too many times, prayers become a laundry list of what an individual needs: forgive me of my sins; please give me the things that I want; Amen. You don’t want to be like the nine lepers in Luke 17:12-19 who didn’t come back to the Lord to thank Him for their cure!

The Liturgy of the Eucharist, especially the Roman Canon or another Eucharistic Prayer, is an essential prayer of thanks (the word Eucharist is derived from the Greek word meaning “thanksgiving”), but you can also thank God by telling Him you’re grateful for the blessings in your life.

Getting to know spontaneous and formal prayer

After you’re familiar with the kinds of prayer to offer to God (see “Practicing the four types of prayer” for a reminder), recognize that your prayer can be either spontaneous or formal. We explain each type in the following sections. You should also take time to pray both communally and by yourself.

Whether you create the words yourself, as in a conversation or dialogue, or recite words written by someone else, you’re still praying, and it’s still bringing you closer to God.

Spontaneous

Usually when you call a friend on your cellphone or send a text message, you’re not enacting a rehearsed conversation (we digress: phone interviews and breakups are probably exceptions). Instead, you both speak from the heart. The same is true of prayer. Spontaneous prayer simply involves expressing what’s in your mind and heart. It’s called the direct approach.

Prayer has been called cor ad cor loquitur (heart speaks to heart). Communicating with God can be like having a chat between pals; this approach is as much prayer as is singing in the church choir. Even though you’re speaking to the Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, you’re also talking to your best friend in the universe.

When you pray spontaneously, you can use the four types of prayer described earlier in this chapter (see “Practicing the four types of prayer”) to say exactly what’s in your heart in your own words. Write your words down in a journal, speak them aloud, or simply ponder your spontaneous prayer. You can tell God whatever is on your mind; Catholics believe that He’s always listening.

Formal

Sometimes you may find it difficult to come up with your own dialogue with God. You may be distracted by earthly problems, or you may just not know what to say. Formal prayer is the answer in this situation. You can depend on the wisdom and holiness of those who have gone before you. Formal prayers are those composed by someone else and usually memorized, and they include devotions, novenas, chaplets, litanies, and aspirations.

Head to Appendix B, your local parish, a Catholic bookstore, or a Catholic website to find prayers in these different categories. Prayer books, which have been used by Catholics for centuries, often contain many of these prayers. On the eve of a child’s reception of First Holy Communion (see Chapter 8), he or she customarily receives such a prayer book. A popular adult prayer book is the Raccolta, which contains many prayers that have certain indulgences granted by the Church to their usage.

An indulgence isn’t a “get out of purgatory” or “get out of hell” for free card. Instead, it’s a remission of temporal punishment due to sin. The Church bestows indulgences on certain prayers and pious acts and uses them to tap in to the infinite merit of Christ’s Passion, death, and resurrection.

Praying in Private and in a Community

Human beings don’t exist in a vacuum; no one lives completely alone. Catholicism asks believers to take their faith public from time to time. For example, you’re asked to worship publicly with other believers each Sunday. But having a relationship with God in public (such as in church) isn’t enough. You also need to cultivate a deep, interior, personal relationship with God. This relationship is what folks call spirituality.

Private prayer nourishes your public prayer. It creates the environment in which you become receptive to the Word of God proclaimed, the Body of Christ received, and the abundance of graces bestowed at Mass. In turn, your public worship cultivates your relationship with the Lord in personal prayer. Graces received at Mass make you more in tune with the Lord. Private and public prayers aren’t in competition with one another; they support each other.

One excellent way to combine your public and private spirituality is the Holy Hour: a tradition of spending an hour adoring the Blessed Sacrament outside of Mass. Flip to Chapter 19 for the rundown on this special hour of prayer.

The goal of private and communal prayer is greater understanding, worship, and adoration of God and His message of salvation. Jesus Christ spent time in private and in public prayer. He often prayed by Himself, and He prayed many times in the local synagogue and in the Temple of Jerusalem. Both types of prayer are necessary for the life of a Christian to grow in his relationship to — and understanding of — God. We discuss both private and communal prayer in the following sections.

Taking personal time with God: Private prayer

The Gospels give specific accounts of Jesus’s private prayer times. For example, Matthew 14:23 says, “[W]hen He had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.” Mark 1:35 says, “[I]n the morning a great while before day, he rose and went out to a lonely place, and there he prayed.”

Daily personal prayer is as essential to the soul as daily food and rest are to the body. Spending time with the Lord cultivates a relationship so the believer truly becomes a friend and not just a servant.

Two specific types of private prayer are meditation and contemplation, which we explain in the following sections.

Meditation

Meditation is a form of prayer that allows a person to reflect on God and His plan for salvation. The word derives from Latin and means “to give consideration.” In meditation, the Christian consciously focuses his thoughts on the Lord, the Virgin Mary, the saints and angels, or an article of faith. Its purpose is to deepen and increase the personal relationship with the Lord. Meditation can be a part of a Holy Hour (spent in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament). We discuss the Holy Hour earlier in the chapter and again in Chapter 19.

Meditation in the Catholic tradition is quite different from that in the Eastern religions like Buddhism or Taoism. Eastern non-Christian mysticism involves emptying the mind of all thoughts. Catholic tradition meditation is the opposite; it’s an active mental task that tries to reach the depth, width, height, and breadth of God.

The end results of meditation are essential for Christian growth. Meditation aids in knowing God, being receptive to His help and direction, and creating an attitude of commitment and determination. When performed properly, meditation can lead to great results in your spiritual life, most specifically the way you grow in consciousness of God in your life. With meditation, you, as the Christian disciple, become better informed about moral choices and major decisions you have to make. You then make better choices because you’re allowing God to direct your soul.

A classic form of Christian meditation is Lectio Divina, or the Divine (or Holy) Reading. And it’s making a comeback. In a 2005 speech, Pope Benedict XVI recommended that Catholics engage in lectio divina. Here’s the step-by-step guide on this form of meditation, which uses Sacred Scripture as the source of inspiration:

Reading (lectio): Choose a text from Sacred Scripture and read it slowly.
Discursive meditation (meditatio): Read the given passage with some thought and reflection.
Affective prayer (oratio): Converse with God about the content of the Scripture passage.
Contemplation (contemplatio): Allow the Lord to direct your mind and heart to achieve a set outcome.

Contemplation

Whereas meditation begins with yourself, contemplation, which simply means making yourself available to God, originates with God. You can’t conjure or summon the Lord; you can only make yourself available and open to His divine action. When you meditate, you’re in the driver’s seat. Contemplation, on the other hand, requires you to be the passenger who waits for the bus or train to arrive. When it does arrive, that bus or train takes you to the very heart of God.

Contemplative or mystical prayer is a normal part of the Christian prayer life. Everyone — not just clergy and religious brothers and sisters — can experience contemplation. Of course, several religious orders of men and women are especially dedicated to contemplation, such as the Cloistered Poor Clares, Dominicans, Carmelites, Trappists, and Cistercians. Yet, throughout the Old and New Testaments, you find examples of ordinary people who devote some time to this prayer — from Moses to Martha’s sister, Mary.

Contemplative prayer usually ensues after meditation. It consists of a more passive and sublime experience of God. If Christian meditation is the soul’s inspired quest to discover God, contemplation is God’s lifting the soul into Himself so it effortlessly basks in the divine light. The key distinction is that contemplation, in the strict sense, is purely the work of God. Meditation, though aided by God and predicated on the grace and work of Christ, is the result of your seeking Him.

Joining others for communal prayer

In addition to private prayers, a Christian also prays in common with the Church. Doing so means participating in Mass and the other sacraments and reciting the Liturgy of the Hours.

Mass and the other sacraments

The most obvious and regular way Catholics experience communal prayer is in the Holy Mass, especially on Sundays in the local parish church. While keeping the Sabbath holy is a commandment, the Mass also offers a practical way of connecting with a community of believers. Head to Chapter 10 for all the details on what happens during Mass.

Liturgy of the Hours

The Liturgy of the Hours (LOH), also known as the Divine Office or the Breviary, is considered part of the communal or public prayer of the Church. Because it’s part of the official liturgy of the Church, all clergy and religious sisters and brothers have a duty and obligation to pray the Liturgy of the Hours on behalf of others. Liturgy is Greek for “work.” One of the chief works of the Christian is to give praise and adoration to his Creator, and clergy do so in part through the Sacred Liturgy.

The LOH is a four-volume set of prayer books made up of psalms, hymns, readings from Scripture, and reflections from the saints. It’s divided into segments, which originally were categorized by the hours of the day. In ancient times, the monks and nuns of the monasteries would hear the chapel bell ring to remind them to pray. But the luxury of a bell reminding you to pray isn’t available to those who live outside the monastery and work throughout the day. Hence, most priests, deacons, religious sisters and brothers, and laity don’t follow the original time slots. But they keep the same divisions and designations in the Liturgy of the Hours.

Daily praying of the LOH normally begins with the Invitatory Psalm, which can be said at either the Office of Reading or Morning Prayer. Here are the different prayers recited each day according to the LOH:

Office of Readings (Matins): Many people pray this first thing in the morning. It contains a hymn; three psalms; an extended reading from Sacred Scripture; and another reading. The hour concludes with a prayer taken from the saint of the day or the liturgical season. An Office of Reading recited on a Sunday or Holy Day concludes with a hymn of praise called The Te Deum.
Morning Prayer (Lauds): This prayer can be prayed anytime during the morning. It consists of a hymn, three sets of psalms, a short reading and response, the Song of Zechariah (Benedictus), intercessory prayers, the Our Father (Lord’s Prayer), and a concluding prayer.
Midday prayer: This prayer is divided into three sections, and only cloistered religious brothers and sisters have the obligation to pray all three minor hours, divided into mid-morning (Terce), midday (Sext), and mid-afternoon (None). These hours consist of a hymn, three psalms, a small reading from Scripture, and a concluding prayer. Everyone else just prays one of the three minor hours.
Evening Prayer: Evening Prayer (Vespers) can be prayed anytime in the afternoon or evening. It has the same structure as Morning Prayer, but instead of including the Canticle of Zechariah, it includes the Canticle of Mary (the Magnificat).
Night Prayer: Night Prayer (Compline) can be prayed anytime after supper and before going to bed. It includes an examination of conscience, Confiteor (a public act of sorrow for committing sin), a hymn, one or two psalms, the Canticle of Simeon (Nunc Dimittis), a closing prayer, and a hymn to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Saying the Lord’s Prayer

The most famous and beloved formal prayer is the one Jesus himself gave Christians, called the Lord’s Prayer or the Our Father (Pater Noster in Latin). Taught by Christ to His own apostles, this prayer is the blueprint for all prayer because it tells you what to ask for and why.

The Lord’s Prayer contains the essentials regarding the relationship between mankind and God. It’s prayed not only in private through devotions such as the Rosary, Stations of the Cross, and various chaplets and novenas (see Chapter 16), but also in public in the celebration of the sacraments (refer to Chapters 8 and 9), Mass (Chapter 10), and Liturgy of the Hours (described earlier in this chapter). The Lord’s Prayer is revered by Christians because it was given by Jesus, contains all the basic element of prayer (adoration, thanksgiving, petition, and contrition), and is universal.

The Lord’s Prayer is divided into the following parts and petitions:

Our Father who art in Heaven: This invocation recognizes God’s authority and your duty to love Him. In Christ and through the grace of the Sacrament of Baptism (see Chapter 8), man becomes an adopted child of God. God condescends to offer humankind a share in His divine life, which is impossible for you to attain on your own.
Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done on earth as it is in heaven: These are three distinct petitions:
- The first petition acknowledges that in the First Commandment (see Chapter 12), God mandates that His name be treated always as holy and not be used in a profane way. (Man recognizes the holiness of God by obeying His commandments.)
- The second petition expresses the coming of the Kingdom of Heaven, which has already begun in the Church and will reach its fullness in Heaven. Christians anticipate an event at the end of time that corresponds to the second coming of Jesus (called the Parousia).
- The third petition demonstrates the necessity of humanity cooperating with God’s will by observing His moral principles. God makes holy His Name by ruling and implementing His Will throughout the entire universe, which includes both heaven and earth.
Give us this day our daily bread: In mere human terms, bread is food. For Christians, this staple takes on a spiritual meaning as well. With this petition, Christians are praying not only for their daily needs to be met but also for spiritual food, or the bread of life: the Word of God and the Eucharist (see Chapter 8). This spiritual bread helps them attain eternal life. They ask for it today because the Kingdom of Heaven begins on earth and culminates in Heaven. To share in the culmination, a Christian knows that he needs to be nourished daily with the bread of life.

St. Thomas Aquinas wrote about such nourishment when he composed O Sacrum Convivium, a text honoring the Blessed Sacrament: “O sacred banquet at which Christ is consumed, the memory of his Passion is recalled, our souls are filled with grace, and the pledge of future glory is given to us.”
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us: With this petition, the worshipper seeks forgiveness. Often, trespasses is replaced by the word debt, which denotes a sense of reparation on your part due to your personal sins. Yet, it’s impossible for humans to alone make recompense for sin. You’re commended to God, who is all merciful and overlooks all things to a humble and contrite heart. The second part of this petition conveys an obligation to forgive others; the phrasing of this petition indicates that God should forgive the petitioner only to the degree that she’s able to forgive. Yet, the reality is that human mercy can never compare to the all-embracing mercy of God.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. With the first phrase, you ask for the grace of perseverance in order to avoid those people, places, and things that can lead you into sin. With the second phrase, you pray not only to be delivered from temptation but also from falling into sin. If the petitioner asks fervently, God gives him grace to resist temptation not only now but at the hour of death when enticement is most strong. Finally, the deliverance from evil refers to Satan himself. Christians are taught early on the three sources of sin: the world, the flesh, and the devil. They pray to be delivered from all three so they don’t fall into sin and separate themselves from the love of God.

When a person converts to Catholicism, she participates in a special rite during Lent that’s called “The Presentation of the Lord’s Prayer.” The Church entrusts this prayer and its fruits to a catechumen (an adult who is preparing to be baptized) who will shortly embrace Catholicism at the Easter Vigil.

Taking It to the Next Level: The Stages of Spiritual Growth

So you’re a decent Catholic: You’ve been baptized, you’ve been confirmed, and you go to Mass every Sunday. Can your relationship with God just sit in that same rhythm for the next 30 years? We say it shouldn’t. In this section, we walk you through what Catholicism considers the three stages of spiritual growth: purgative, illuminative, and unitive. In doing so, we explain the ultimate goal of Christian action (including prayer): union with God.

Purgative: Practicing self-denial and sacrifice

No one but God is perfect. Every man and woman has some imperfections, weaknesses, faults, and failures. The first stage of spiritual growth, called the purgative stage (based on the need to purge, cleanse, and purify) requires a cleansing or removal of bad habits and evil desires.

This stage has two elements: penance and mortification. It addresses temptations to sin and the intense attraction to satisfying the senses. In this stage, the devout person tries to achieve a purity of soul so he can act freely and not out of slavery to habit, passions, or vices. The individual earnestly avoids the vices: pride, envy, lust, anger, gluttony, greed, and sloth.

Penance

The first means of purgation is to do penance. Penance isn’t punishment for past misdeeds. Instead, it’s an external manifestation of contrition and sorrow for past sins. In other words, it means you have remorse and regret for offending God, and therefore show your repentance by acts of self-denial.

Because a person may go too far and cross the line into behavior that’s painful and self-destructive, any and all penance should first be approved by a person’s spiritual director or confessor — a sort of personal trainer in the life of faith.

Here are some forms that penance may take:

Abstaining: Avoiding certain foods, like not eating meat on Fridays, is an act of penance.
Fasting: A believer reduces the amount of food consumed in one day. Fasting isn’t starvation, and it isn’t a bread-and-water diet. Fasting is eating one full meal for the day, two smaller meals (which if combined would be smaller than the one full meal), and no snacks.
Almsgiving: A person makes a financial donation to help the poor and needy. Giving alms means to give a monetary gift, generously and anonymously. It can be to Catholic charities in the diocese or the Saint Vincent de Paul Society in the parish. Both of these help poor people and their families.

Mortification

Like penance, mortification is a means of self-denial. Unlike penance, however, it isn’t rooted in sorrow for past sins; instead, it’s oriented toward future temptations. Mortification uses the same methods of abstinence, fasting, and almsgiving but for the purpose of strengthening your will. It’s like spiritual spring training. Athletes deny themselves a lot during practice and training so they’re prepared to compete at their best.

Giving up something freely and willingly trains the soul. Everyone has desires and urges. If you give in to all of them completely and immediately, they will ruin you. For instance, if you aren’t moderate in how much or how often you eat, you risk becoming overweight. Likewise, if you satisfy every whim that comes your way, you won’t have any discipline — and without discipline, you have no safety or security.

Mortification is a modest and temporary means of self-denial that trains your ego to realize that life and reality itself isn’t just about you. Other people and their needs may supersede your wants, and, therefore, you must be willing to make that sacrifice. By denying yourself legitimate goods every now and then, you show yourself that you can say no and that you aren’t addicted to feeding your ego. Talk to your parish priest to make sure you’re choosing the best forms of mortification.

Illuminative: Distinguishing good from evil

As a person makes spiritual progress by avoiding mortal sin and attachment to worldly things, her mind and soul become more enlightened with virtue. She longs to form a closer union with God. She becomes less selfish and more selfless, which is expressed by practicing corporal and spiritual works of mercy (which we outline in Chapter 19). She also has a greater desire for solitude, which comes from meditations and Holy Hours (which we explain earlier in the chapter). Acts of charity flow from her and nourish the works of mercy.

Purifications (spiritual cleansing) are still required at this illuminative stage of spiritual progress, and usually they result in boredom or personal trial. God permits these sufferings in order for the person to be strengthened in faith. Meditation is the type of prayer normally associated with this stage.

While the purgative stage focuses on the bad habits to be removed, the illuminative stage centers on positive things to be done — and done often. As the person moves from the purgative to the illuminative stage, bad habits, or vices, are eliminated and replaced by good habits, or virtues, which we outline next and discuss in more detail in Chapter 13.

Prudence

Prudence is the ability to make good moral judgments — to know what to say or do, when, and how. Prudence is not only about timing but also about technique. There’s a proper place, time, and way to do everything. For example, consider fraternal correction, which occurs when you give good advice to a friend and counsel him to stop doing an immoral and sinful activity.

Say, for instance, you have a friend who has a gambling or drinking problem; clearly, you need to recommend that he get help. Prudence is the ability and wisdom to know you don’t confront the person at the funeral parlor during his grandmother’s wake. Or similarly, somebody may owe you five bucks, but prudence tells you not to ask for it by ringing his doorbell at 4 a.m.

Justice

Justice is giving each person his or her due. If you hire someone for $5 to shovel your driveway after a heavy snowfall, justice demands you actually pay him $5 for doing the job. Justice also demands that the person shoveling truly shovel your driveway and not just shovel a few feet of it.

Doing the right thing for the right reason is what justice is about. Justice requires paying fair wages, doing a full day’s work, being honest on your employment records, and so on. Cheating on your taxes, cheating employees or employers, and discriminating against people because of their race or religion are violations of justice.

Temperance

Temperance, or moderation, requires that you establish limits. It means knowing when to say no or when to stop. It doesn’t demand total abstinence unless something is bad for you. Giving up all sweets forever isn’t temperance (although it may be prudent if you’re a diabetic or obese). Temperance means aiming for and achieving a happy balance.

For example, temperance means getting the right amount of rest while doing the right amount of work. Temperance avoids extremes, like becoming a workaholic or a couch potato. If someone isn’t an alcoholic and isn’t about to perform surgery or drive a car, temperance allows her to consume an alcoholic beverage — but not enough to get drunk or be inebriated enough to make bad and dangerous judgments.

Fortitude

Fortitude is the courage to do what has to be done or say what has to be said. Prudence tells you what, how, and when; fortitude is the force that enables you to fulfill that directive. This strength comes from repetition, from reaffirming the plan, and from the desire to pursue it. However, fortitude shouldn’t be reckless or irrational. You must use reason, think through what has to be done, and then act prudently. Fortitude builds character; the more reliable you are in doing the right thing, the more confidence people will have in you.

Unitive: Connecting with God

The third stage of spiritual growth, the unitive stage, is the level of perfection, where you desire only to do the will of God. Temptation and sin aren’t issues at this stage. Whereas meditation is the type of prayer exemplified in the illuminative stage, contemplation is associated with the unitive stage.

Although a person may still experience personal sufferings at this stage, still he has an atmosphere of peace — a joy even in the midst of trial. The soul is united to God by the virtue of love, and the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord) are used splendidly.

Yet, a person at this stage can still continue to endure further purifications through sufferings in order to achieve greater purification and thus greater union due to less attachment to lower things. Some of the great saints on earth have experienced mystical ecstasies, such as Teresa of Avila.

The unitive stage is something that takes a lifetime to perfect, but each day is worth the daily effort. It may be slow and incremental, but like mature wine, it takes time to achieve a great end result.