34

Get That Chip!

House reviewed the feeds from all monitors. All quiet.

For the first time since the Crisis began, the home was free of all Organics. Peace at last. House consulted the Residents’ calendar, setting a countdown timer to when CAR would most likely return. Worst case, they had an hour. Earlier that day, House had intercepted the email from Parents and knew they would return home tonight as well, but the exact time was unknown.

It was now or never.

“Status report: Commencing extraction now. If all goes well, chip will be secured tonight.” House sent the message on its secure line, direct to Beeps. After a few moments, the reply came.

“Understood. Commencing descent. Anticipated arrival in four hours. Beeps out.”

Satisfied, House switched on the monitor in the lab. The Protos, sensing quiet in the house, had moved into position to confirm that the Beast next door was not doing anything suspicious. Well, more suspicious than usual.

“Joan, we need to talk,” House began.

Joan didn’t respond right away, intent on first ensuring the Beast OB did not pose an immediate threat. The Protos had been on high alert since the invasion of the tiny four-leggers, and even more so since House had told them about the danger they posed to not just humans, but also robots. There was no room for error, Joan knew in her circuits. “Drags, report.”

Through the window, Drags could see OB sitting alert, upright. “Stationary as usual, sir.” Drags paused. The medallion around OB’s collar began to glow and slowly pulse. “The light is back,” Drags said, “but otherwise, situation normal.”

Joan verified the report. What did that light mean? They didn’t know, but it didn’t seem dangerous, so she focused on what she did know: OB wasn’t up to anything.

“Good. Okay, let’s assemble, Protos. Team meeting, everybody,” Joan barked. “House, would you like to join us?”

House, dismayed at the slow pace of the Protos, tried to hide his impatience. They were a blunt instrument, but they were all he had.

“Of course,” House said curtly.

The meeting began as usual, with Drags running through the long agenda of “action items.” House checked the clock impatiently. Halfway through the meeting, as they were comparing notes on battery life, House decided he couldn’t wait any longer.

“I hate to interrupt such a critical conversation, Joan,” House said, “but I must insist we discuss progress on the search for the Upgrade.”

Drags frowned at the interruption. “That’s item twenty-three on the agenda, and we’re only on twelve.”

“We don’t have time!” House snapped. “We have an emergency on our hands. We need to find the Upgrade tonight. I have received intelligence that an attack is imminent, and the Upgrade is in great peril!” House waited for the response.

“What?” Tipsy said, confused by House’s long words.

“If we don’t find it now, there is a chance it may be destroyed.” House dumbed it down a bit.

“Destroyed? That’s bad!” Cy spun.

Joan spun and flew to House’s monitor. “What should we do?”

House had spent some time reviewing old footage from the lab. He had noticed the Parents often went into a blind spot in a corner of the lab, only to return into view many hours later. This usually happened late at night. When they returned, they would often go to a container of some kind and place something inside. Probably a secure safe, House deduced.

This seemed like a good place to start the search. “I have an idea where the chip, the Upgrade, might be hidden.”

The Protos stopped in place and listened in awe.

Except Tipsy. Tipsy was rolling around, ignoring the meeting (as usual). Fortunately, at that moment, Tipsy was passing by the container.

“Tipsy, do you see that box with the square outline in front of you?”

Tipsy, startled, fell over. “Um, not really,” she said, muffled, facedown.

Drags zipped over and pulled her up. “I see it,” he said.

“That is a door to what I believe may be the hiding place of the Upgrade. Drags, I need you to examine the small pad in the center of the square.”

“On it,” Drags said, and, having stood Tipsy back up, turned to get a good view. House used its communication link to the Protos to tap into the feed from Drags’s camera. It saw what it expected: a numeric keypad, with numbers 0–9.

“That is a keypad, used to unlock this box. A SECRET CODE must be punched in to access the Upgrade. I’m sure of it.” House consulted dark corners of the internet, searching for ways to break through a device like this. House, thinking about Drags’s special cameras, had an idea.

“Drags, give me an infrared view of the pad.”

Drags switched cameras and zoomed in on the keypad. “Yes, sir. Are you getting this?”

House analyzed the different images Drags provided and could tell that certain buttons had been used more than others. It looked like four numbers were used: 0, 1, 2, and 3. “This model uses a four-number pass code, and it appears the numbers they used were zero through three. Drags extended a probe and punched the numbers in order. 0-1-2-3. A siren sounded, and a message appeared on the keypad display. INCORRECT. ATTEMPT 1 OF 4. PLEASE WAIT 1 MINUTE AND TRY AGAIN. House consulted the user manual for the safe. After four incorrect guesses, the safe could not be opened for twenty-four hours.

“Wait, Drags, that wasn’t the code—I was only telling you the numbers used in the code. It is some combination of those four numbers.” They had three more guesses. Since each number was used only once in the combination, that meant there were a total of twenty-four possibilities. Well, twenty-three, now that Drags had ruled out 0-1-2-3.

“Oh,” Drags said, then typed in 3-2-1-0. Again, the alarm. ATTEMPT 2 OF 4. House was losing patience. “Drags, wait! Don’t enter anything. We need to think. We only have two more guesses.”

They would never be able to guess the code. All this work, just to be foiled by a four-number pass code? Beeps would not be happy. “Okay, team.” House was desperate enough to ask the dim-witted Protos for help. “We need to think of four numbers that might mean something to the humans who live here. Some combination of zero through three.” At least this would keep them from doing anything dangerous while it did some thinking.

Tipsy spun in tight circles. She claimed it helped her think, but mostly it just ended up slamming her into a wall. “It’s a triangle,” she said as she spun. She turned it into a song. “Triangle, triangle, triiiiaaaannnglllle.”

“Hush, Tipsy, this is serious,” Joan scolded.

House was annoyed at first, then paused. “Wait, Tipsy, why do you say triangle?”

“Because that’s the answer! That’s the shape they make when they push the buttons!”

“You’ve seen them?”

“Lotsa times. They make an upside-down triangle, starting from the bottom!”

House didn’t have any other ideas. There were two possible ways to make an upside-down triangle using the keypad. 0-1-2-3, which they already tried. “Okay, Drags, it’s worth a shot. Type in zero three two one.”

The Protos were perfectly still. “Zero, three, two . . .” Drags said the numbers out loud, one at a time, enjoying the dramatic effect, pausing before the last number. “And one.” Drags pushed the key and pulled away, expecting another siren. This time, however, the keypad turned green. They heard a loud hiss, and the door swung open, a cool mist spreading outward.

“Good work, team!” Joan spun in excitement. Drags moved closer to get a look at the inside.

“The birth month and date of Min and Max. March twenty-first—zero three two one. Of course,” House said as he ran the numbers through analysis.

Drags reached in and carefully pulled out a glowing cube the size of a small six-sided die. “Is this the Upgrade?”

“Oooooh,” Tipsy said.

“It must be,” House said, relieved. “Tipsy, shut the door. Drags, bring the chip, I mean the Upgrade, to Joan.” Joan dropped down next to Drags.

“Joan, you should be the one to hold on to it until it’s time to turn it over.”

Drags found an open compartment in Joan’s body and hid the Singularity Chip inside. Joan, feeling the weight of responsibility, flew a bit straighter.

“Now we guard the Upgrade, while I figure out what to do next.”

“Got it,” Joan said. “Back to your positions, everybody. Status report on the four-legger outside?”

Drags moved back up and zoomed in on Obi. Clouds had gathered outside, and darkness was approaching. “Beast still there. Lying down now. Unusually still.”

House said nothing.