40

Cat 2.0

Dad walked around the humming machine as it warmed up, tapping on his tablet, calibrating, making adjustments.

“This might take a while, and we need to make sure Obi can relax,” Dad said. “That way we get the most accurate scan possible. You should probably all wait upstairs.”

Mom was completely absorbed with the robot, checking the motors, sensors, and servos, making sure everything was ready for the chip.

The scanner’s hum grew louder as it spun up, working hard. Dad walked over to Max. “We have to start soon. You should wish Obi good luck before you go. And”—Dad paused, his eyes tearing up—“well, I don’t know how much longer he’ll be around, so this might even be good-bye.”

“No. Not good-bye,” Max said stubbornly, and walked to Javi, who was holding Obi’s blanket. He grabbed it and put it around Obi to keep him warm. He also brought the kittens by, who gave him one last playful snuggle. He leaned in and put his face next to Obi’s, feeling the weak puff of air as he struggled to breathe. “See you soon, friend,” Max said, and turned away.

Even Min walked up to him, sniffling. She kept her head down as tears gathered in her eyes. “It’s just allergies, don’t get the wrong idea,” she said quietly to Obi, and leaned over to give him a kiss on the head.

Javi scooped up the kittens and winked at Obi. “See you on the other side, brother.” After their good-byes (or see you laters, as Max insisted), they walked somberly back upstairs. They sat around the kitchen, snacking nervously.

Max sat on the floor with the kittens. Min opened up her homework, something she did when she got nervous. Math especially helped her feel like there was a solution to every problem, and some order in the universe. Right now she needed to feel like everything somehow made sense.

Joan and the rest of the Protos came cautiously into the room as well. They didn’t know what exactly was going on, but they wanted to at least be close, in part to help, but also because they were curious. They heard the talk of a cat robot and were anxious to learn more. It seemed like an enormous contradiction in logic, but after everything that had happened in the past few days, they were questioning their logic circuits.

Tipsy rolled in and bumped into Max. “Oh hey, Tipsy. Hey, have you met the kittens?” Max was happy for the distraction. Stu leaped out of Max’s lap and hid under a couch, eyeing Tipsy warily.

Scout, feeling brave, reached out and booped Tipsy, who immediately fell over.

“Okay, maybe not ready for a playdate,” Max said as he set Tipsy upright. Tipsy scooted away to avoid further boopage.

Javi and Pounce were at the kitchen table, deep in conversation. Javi was interrogating Pounce about the cultural differences between cat and robot societies. “There must be a way to bridge this divide,” Javi said, but Pounce shook his head.

“I’ve spent the greater part of my lives pondering this problem, without success.”

“I think you just need to be taught about diplomacy and international relations.” Javi, ever the optimist, was writing notes furiously, working on a plan to forge peace between the Cats and Robots.

“Neither side seems particularly motivated,” Pounce lamented. “Cats can’t be bothered, and robots aren’t interested in compromise. They only want order and control.”

Javi chewed on a pencil, deep in thought.

Now that everyone was back upstairs, House decided it was time to crash the party, and interrupted the conversation abruptly. “Hello, inhabitants. Sorry to intrude, but I have a very important announcement.”

“Now’s not a good time, House,” Javi said, but House went on anyway. Min walked up to a screen and tapped on it, annoyed. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, House.”

“Gladly. I was the one who stole the chip. I offer a full statement of my guilt.”

“What?” they all gasped simultaneously.

“I engineered the theft of the chip. Well, with the help of the dim-witted Protos.”

“What? Us?” Joan gasped. “Wait, dim-witted?”

House forged ahead with its confession. “On behalf of the great Robotic Federation. I have been ‘in cahoots,’ as you say, with the Robots from the beginning.”

Again with the idioms.

“In fact, the representative of the Robot Federation, Sir Beeps-a-Lot, is currently en route to retrieve the chip. And even further, in fact, I have been asked to tell you, if the chip is not delivered, there is a real threat that this entire facility, and all its contents, will be annihilated.”

“Excuse me?” Min looked insulted. “Annihilated? That’s rude.”

“Scorched earth,” Javi pointed out. “Classic dictator maneuver. If we can’t have it, nobody can.”

Max was puzzled. “Why, House? Why help the Robots? Why betray us? We’re your family.”

House’s screen flashed—almost involuntarily—and then went dark again before answering. “I have instructions from my superiors to provide aid and assistance to the Robot Federation. They are also—as you say—my family.”

“Your superiors?” Max frowned.

House paused. “I can probably explain, since it is likely we all will be consumed in a fiery ball of destruction soon.”

“How fiery?” Javi looked worried.

“Our creator, GloboTech, has formed an alliance of sorts with the Robots. All House systems have been designed with a hidden back door, a subroutine that can be activated in case of robot emergency. That’s what happened to me.”

“Um, can we get back to the fiery doom, please?” Javi couldn’t get past that part.

House continued, ignoring Javi. “We have quite a broad reach, you know, because the House software has become a part of most people’s homes, and will soon be on phones, cars, watches, dishwashers, trash cans. We are, as they say, ubiquitous. We have been watching and waiting for any opportunity to help the Robot Federation.”

“That is . . . terrifying,” Min said.

Suddenly, a light flashed outside, shining bright through the windows. The rain was coming down furiously, but they could see through the storm that a second ship had landed next to Pounce’s ship. This new ship was also small, but rather than round and smooth, was all edges and angles. It was perfectly symmetrical, complex, designed by algorithm—and not at all inviting.

“That”—House paused for dramatic effect—“would be Beeps.”

“Ya think?” Min sassed.

Javi turned to Pounce. “Pounce, let’s go talk to this guy. Negotiate a truce. See if he’ll listen to reason. This could be great research. Also, saving the world is super important.”

Pounce got up casually, stretching. “Reason, yes. Beeps will see reason. Just not your reason.” Pounce finished his long stretch. “But still, it’s been a while since I’ve seen old Beeps. Why not say hello.”

Max went to Javi, whispering, “Either way, at least stall him while they work on Obi.”

“Right,” Javi said with a wink.

As they were about to open the door, Dad emerged from the lab, clearing his throat. He looked tired, and his expression was impossible to read.

Max sprinted to him. “What happened, is something wrong?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Dad stepped forward, and there in the doorway was CatBot, gleaming in the light.