“WHAT’S MMA?” AMBERLEY eyed the blurred, boxy shape of a white vehicle as it bounced up the rutted drive, then stopped in the parking area outside the corral. Someone—she couldn’t make out gender—hustled to the back of the vehicle. The grating, mechanical whine of a wheelchair lift sounded.
“Methylmalonic acidemia—a genetic disorder. Metabolism problems,” Benny supplied. Like Amberley and Jared, he huddled out of the afternoon’s intense sun in the stable’s shadow. “Emily had a stroke a couple years back because of it.”
“She’s so young,” Amberley murmured, straining to focus on the small shape an adult bundled into the wheelchair. The trauma of learning about her genetic disorder at twenty-six paled in comparison with the challenges that Emily must face daily.
Amberley set her jaw. She’d ensure that Emily, while on Spirit Ranch, would forget her troubles and just be a kid for a while, like any other.
“Ten years old, I’m thinking.” Two rasps of Benny’s inhaler reached Amberley’s ears. He lowered his voice. “Jan, her mother, says Emily started dialysis this week, which is why she can’t make the regular group. Really appreciate you two staying longer to give her a solo lesson.”
“Of course,” she and Jared said at the same time.
A warm hand settled on Amberley’s shoulder, and she glanced up at the fuzzy brown of Jared’s large eyes. She sensed his thoughts. They still made a great team, even when the goal wasn’t about winning.
“Howdy!” hollered a female voice that belonged to whoever pushed the occupied wheelchair to the corral’s gate.
Amberley hustled to the opener and hit the automatic button without hesitation. Working in the ring this week boosted her confidence. She’d even begun doing more at home and had cooked dinner last night.
Despite the overdone eggs and burnt toast, her mother declared it the best meal she’d had, then burst into tears. Seeing her no-nonsense parent break down hit Amberley hard. Reclaiming her independence meant giving her mother peace of mind and her life back. She’d vowed then and there to work as hard as she could so no one would sacrifice on her behalf again.
A motorized engine hum announced the gate opening, and Amberley stepped back. Her boots automatically tested the ground for uneven terrain before she trusted her full weight on them. Harley dropped his head over her shoulder, eager to welcome another child.
All week, he’d showered the kids with affection, seeking them out, grabbing hugs wherever he could…the shameless scamp…but still, he wanted to help as much as she did. It touched her that he still found a way to thrive outside the spotlight of barrel racing.
Too bad his sale fell through. She’d reacted to the news with relief, followed by guilt for feeling relieved. Harley deserved more than walking around a ring all day. He needed to go as far as his hooves could carry him, right onto the ERA Premier team she’d once dreamed of making. Hopefully this morning’s email response to her ad would pan out.
Harley lowered himself to his knees, then laid his head on Emily’s shoulder. “He’s so soft!” she squealed.
“Careful, big guy,” Amberley warned, feeling for Harley’s bridle, then slipping her fingers through it.
“He likes me!” Emily flung her arms around Harley’s gleaming black neck. A flow of silver—the luxurious mane Amberley painstakingly brushed this morning—signaled he’d tossed his head in agreement.
“I love you, Harley,” Amberley heard Emily whisper close to where she imagined her horse’s ear to be.
Amberley’s chest grew tight. Watching the children find acceptance, happiness and success moved her deeply. Spirit Ranch let them forget their limitations as it did her. It gave them all a place to belong, a spot where they felt capable and appreciated. For a while, they could forget about their disabilities and simply live.
“Who wouldn’t like you, Emily?” Jared declared in that warm, easy way he had of making everyone feel welcome, wanted and included. Working together this week reminded her why they’d become friends in the first place, though it hadn’t helped her forget about their kiss…
“For one thing, you’ve got cool wheels,” Jared continued, holding up a finger Amberley guessed. “Two, you’re wearing Broncos’-colored brace bands. Three, Harley likes you and—” Jared dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper “—he hardly likes anybody, but don’t tell him I said so.”
Harley snorted while Amberley struggled to hold back an eye roll. Jared the hambone. He loved exaggerating and making outrageous remarks he claimed as truth.
Emily clapped her hands. Zen Harley didn’t seem to flinch, as far as she could tell, save for a quick, fly-slapping tail flick.
“You’re sure it’s okay if I leave for my hair appointment?” asked Jan.
Amberley’s heart went out to the woman. Like her mom, she guessed Jan struggled to take time for herself, something she and all parents of high-needs children deserved.
“Emily will be fine with us. Right, darlin’?”
A shivering awareness tripped over her skin at Jared’s husky drawl. Was that darlin’ meant for her or Emily? Or Jan? Not that it should matter, especially since he used that endearment with all women…even their seventy-year-old female lay minister for goodness’ sakes. Yet after their kiss, she heard it differently, and it flustered her.
Would they ever get back to their easy friendship?
“Am I going to ride him?” Emily’s voice rose.
Jared’s head angled to the side. “Well. That depends.”
Amberley squinted at him, wishing she could read his expression, though she recognized the mischievous note that’d entered his voice.
“On what?” Emily quavered.
Oh, no. Jared’s teasing might be shaking the little girl’s confidence.
She opened her mouth to interject.
“Can you keep a secret?” he asked.
What?
Intrigued, she leaned closer. Jared told the best tall tales.
“What is it?” Emily demanded.
“First I have to know if you can keep a secret. Only a couple people are in on this. Me, Amberley and Benny, so we’re taking a big risk telling you.”
Emily nodded, her reservations apparently settled. Jared’s playful nature, a hindrance when it came to serious relationships, worked perfectly with children.
He’d make a good father, whispered the angel on one shoulder.
And a terrible husband, huffed the devil on the other.
Amberley shook her head clear of the voices. Jared was not husband material—least of all for someone like her. If he ever married, he’d wed a model like other NFL stars did. A gorgeous peacock. Not a dusty sparrow with a broken wing like her.
“You see, Harley isn’t just some regular horse,” she heard Jared declare when she tuned back into the conversation. Her mouth quirked. “He’s a Pegasus who lost his wings.”
Amberley clamped her lips to muffle her gasp. Where on earth did Jared come up with these things?
“How?” Emily breathed, all in by the sound of it.
“One day they stopped working and fell off,” Amberley said, guessing where Jared was going with this and wanting to play along. “The doctor diagnosed a genetic condition.”
“Like me.” The swoosh of flesh color moving across Harley’s black neck indicated Emily stroked him. “Sorry, Harley. That’s sad.”
“Well. You’d think so,” Jared said. “But Harley here didn’t let that hold him back. Even though he can’t do what the other Pegasuses can do, he never quits and he always tries. He tries real hard.”
“Like me?” Emily’s voice rose in question.
“Exactly,” Amberley and Jared affirmed in tandem.
Amberley heard someone blow their nose. Emily’s mother?
“When he walks around the ring, he can still pretend he’s flying,” Amberley embellished.
Jared’s hand flashed up and she guessed he gave her one of his “thumbs-ups.” Pleasure, sweet and golden as warmed honey, poured through her veins. He saw her as a partner again, not someone to pity.
“I can pretend with Harley,” Emily declared.
Amberley smiled. Never had she appreciated Jared’s ability to motivate others more than she did now, a gift that lifted this little girl from her wheelchair so that she could fly.
“Then it sounds like you’re the right rider for Harley after all.” Jared helped Emily out of the wheelchair while Amberley led Harley around to the special stairs the kids used to get into the saddle. Thanks to hours of practice, she’d finally mastered leveraging herself onto her horse without them.
Not that it’d stopped Jared’s hovering.
“Aren’t you going to say bye to your ma?” Jared asked. Based on their routine, Amberley gleaned that he now held Emily’s hands, balancing her as she wobbled forward.
“Bye, Ma!”
Amberley smiled at Emily’s offhand, dismissive tone. Thrilled at the prospect of riding a “Pegasus,” she didn’t need, or want her mom here, and that was a good thing.
Jan wavered at the gate.
“We’ve got your cell phone number, so we’ll call if anything comes up.” Amberley aimed a reassuring smile in Jan’s direction. Was the protective mother worried about leaving her daughter with a legally blind volunteer? “Better hurry or you’ll miss your appointment.”
“Right. Love you, Emily!” Jan called, still lingering, clearly struggling.
“Can I be alone now?” A note of impatience entered Emily’s voice.
Jan laughed. “See you in an hour, honey.”
A moment later the van’s engine turned, loud in the still, humid air, then grew quieter as it sped back down the lane.
Amberley guided Emily up the stairs. She fit her small foot into the stirrup, impressed with the brave girl. Having a disability made you appreciate independence. No matter your limitation, the drive to push forward, to reach a goal, big or small, took grit. Children with physical restrictions shouldn’t be labeled “disabled.” Challenged fit better as a descriptor since they battled to overcome limitations every day. That made them special. Fighters. Survivors. A testimony to the strength and will of the human spirit.
They worked harder than the athletes with whom she’d competed, and for less glory, too. These children’s accomplishments might not seem big to some. If you judged sheer effort, however, there was no comparison. Working with them filled her with pride.
Was she proud of herself, too?
Her father’s face flashed in her mind’s eye.
“You’re a winner,” he’d vowed. “Never forget it.”
And she couldn’t. Especially now that she’d never be one again.
Sorry, Daddy.
Still, working with these kids gave her a new perspective about her own limitations. More than one way to succeed or accomplish a goal existed. With Harley’s help, she’d guided the children through activities that helped build their strength and self-esteem. What’s more, they were eager to talk to her about her blindness. Perhaps her “handicap” was, in some ways, an asset as it inspired kids, like Emily, to keep trying.
Jared swung Emily’s other leg over the saddle and secured it while Amberley handed up the color-coded reins. She moved to Harley’s head and looped her fingers through his bridle. He opened his mouth wide, jerked his head up and back and yawned, not the least bit flustered by the bouncing child on his back.
“Nice molars,” she teased, then pressed a quick kiss to his soft nose.
“All set?” Jared called from his position by Emily’s side. The high-backed saddle helped keep her upright, but they still needed to ensure she maintained her balance as she worked on strengthening her core and the leg muscles that had lost functionality after her stroke.
“You bet,” Amberley responded with their old catchphrase, the one they’d used when they’d just been pals, not friends who kissed…
Stop.
“If it’s alright with you,” Benny said, sounding winded, “I’ll check on Joan. She’s due for some meds, and I need to get out of all this pollen.”
Amberley opened her mouth to object, then shut it. Since the kiss, she’d avoided being alone with Jared. Surrounded by crowds of kids and assisting adults, it’d been easier to keep up her “just friends” act, despite the awkward, self-conscious feelings that dogged her.
“Not sure, Benny. This filly looks like she’s up to no good and ready to get into all kinds of mischief.”
Emily giggled at Jared’s warning. “No, I’m not.”
“I was talking about Miss Amberley James, actually,” Jared clarified, a current of humor running through his somber tone. “Never take your eye off her. I know I don’t.”
She blushed at his words’ double meaning and forced herself to laugh along with a departing Benny. She’d sensed Jared’s gaze on her a lot lately. Yet without her vision, she felt more in the dark than ever. Had his naturally flirty nature crossed into the same no-man’s-land her seesawing emotions now occupied?
Better not to speculate, she told herself firmly, and focus on the work. Oh. And act normal…whatever that meant anymore.
She ducked her head, pulled some brightly colored beanbags from her pocket and passed them up to Emily. “Ready to play beanbag toss?”
“Yes!”
“When we lead you past a barrel, you toss in the matching color bag. Got it?”
“Got it,” Emily shouted. “Yellow first.”
Amberley squinted at the barrels. From this distance, she could just make out the color strip Maverick painted on them after they’d come up with the game.
“Cluck to tell Harley to walk.” Jared imitated the sound. “Then pull the green rein to steer him over there. And whatever you do, watch out for Amberley.”
“What’s Amberley going to do?” giggled Emily.
Harley’s head bobbed up and down as they ambled to the yellow barrel.
“She likes to steal things.”
Amberley’s mouth dropped open. “No, I don’t,” she protested.
“Pull lightly with both reins to make Harley stop,” Jared advised, ignoring her.
Harley, ever the highly trained athlete, immediately planted his hooves in the dirt.
“Now throw it in.”
Something yellow whizzed by Amberley’s head.
“Did I make it?”
She squinted into the barrel, then scanned the ground, cursing her faulty vision. “I don’t see it.” She fought back the familiar rise of helplessness.
“Did Amberley steal it?” Emily accused.
“Nah.” Jared came around the front of Harley’s head to join in the search. Within seconds he swooped down and grabbed the bag beside Amberley’s feet.
She bit the inside of her cheek to hide her frustration and disappointment. With a little more time, would she have found it?
Jared’s finger pressed lightly under her chin, and he tipped her face up to his. “The only thing you have to worry about is her stealing your heart. She’s a pro.”
And with that, he returned to Emily’s side, leaving Amberley gaping, her mind in a whirl.
Jared’s flirtatious nature was messing with her head and preventing her from regaining her “just friends” footing. Should she say something? If she did, things might get even more awkward.
A half hour later, they finished the games designed to help Emily’s coordination and strength.
“How do I fly?” she asked as they led her and Harley around the ring.
“Close your eyes and stretch your arms out to the sides.” Jared moved, imitating the pose, Amberley guessed.
“I’ll fall off.”
“I won’t let you.”
The firmness of Jared’s voice had the desired effect. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Now say, ‘Harley, fly!’” Jared boomed, theatrical and dramatic enough to make the crazy thought seem possible.
“But he can’t really, right?”
“Sure he can. You can do anything in your imagination.”
Emily giggled. “I like that.”
“So where do you want to fly to?” Amberley asked.
“Can we fly to the sun?”
“You’ll get burned,” Jared warned.
“Not on a Pegasus,” Amberley insisted, enjoying this game with her oldest dearest friend. “Remember. They have fire protection.”
“Good one.” The blinding white of Jared’s teeth flashed at her. “Okay, then. To the sun.”
She clucked and led Harley slowly around the corral.
“Keep those eyes closed, Emily. No peeking,” Jared directed.
“I won’t.”
“Okay. Here we go.” Excitement bubbled inside Amberley. “Tell Harley to fly.”
“Fly, Harley!” Emily shouted.
Amberley made a smooching sound that kicked up Harley’s gait so he high-stepped it around the ring.
“We’re crossing over the treetops now,” Jared said, his voice so full of wonder he nearly convinced Amberley this was really happening. She didn’t need to close her eyes since she could barely see. Instead, she let her mind wander where Jared’s words took her.
“Wow,” he exclaimed, all boyish excitement. “It looks like a green sea down there. The leaves are rustling, moving together like waves. Can you hear them?”
“I can hear them!”
“Now we’re soaring over the mountains. There’s a family of billy goats grazing right on the very tip-top.”
“Even the babies?” Emily breathed.
“Yep. One of them just bahhhhhhed at you.”
“Baaaahhhhhh!” Emily blared back.
They completed one go-round, and Amberley signaled Harley to pick up the pace. His old barrel racing quirk of balking at fences came in handy now. In the past, she’d compelled him to run at barriers before turning at the last minute. Now, he could give them the wide berth he preferred.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Jared said in a comical imitation of a pilot’s voice, “we’re cruising at an altitude of ten thousand feet and blasting through the clouds.”
“What’s it look like?” Emily asked, eager.
“White. Everywhere,” Jared answered. “Like spun sugar. If you stick out your tongue maybe you can taste it.”
“I can!”
“Good!” Jared crowed. “You’re using your imagination. The sun’s just ahead. It’s getting warmer. Can you feel it?”
A trickle of sweat wound down Amberley’s cheek at the exertion. She’d lost her stamina if this activity tired her.
“It’s hot!”
“But not too hot. Remember, Harley can protect you,” Amberley assured her.
“But he’s not a real Pegasus.”
They neared the dismount stairs and Amberley pulled Harley to a stop.
“Just because he lost his wings doesn’t mean he’s not a Pegasus anymore.” Jared helped Emily off the saddle and down the stairs.
Emily threw her arms around Harley’s neck. “You’re a real Pegasus, Harley. You are.”
Harley’s head bobbed in a flash of black and silver, and Amberley smiled through the tears that sprang to her eyes.
Jared was right. Wings didn’t make a Pegasus. Working limbs, perfect eyesight…they didn’t make a human either. What we imagined and strived to be counted. Real strength rooted itself inside, where it mattered most.
Except when it came to winning. No amount of imagination could transport her into its circle again, or earn her one of her father’s rare smiles, the kind she’d fought to receive all her life.
Now she’d couldn’t even picture it.
“Emily!”
Amberley backed Harley from the gate to make way for the rushing parent.
“Mama, you look pretty!” gushed Emily.
“Did you have fun?”
“Yes! Harley flew me to the sun.”
“Well, now. That’s extra special. Thanks, Jared and Amberley. It’s awful nice of you to do this for us.”
“Nice?” scoffed Jared. “Harley would have had a fit if he couldn’t have seen Emily. He didn’t give us a choice…not that we would have said no.”
Emily giggled. “Can he come here so I can give him another hug?”
Harley pulled on his bit. “Just try to stop him,” Amberley exclaimed, nearly dragged over to Emily’s wheelchair.
“Want to stop by my ranch later?” Jared asked after the mother and child departed. “Petey’s got something he’s dying to show you.”
“Petey, huh?” Her lips quirked up in the corners. “In that case…”
A few hours later, she rocked beside Jared on his porch swing. Crickets thrummed in the brush, and fireflies lit up the deepening twilight. Cade Ranch’s trademark tea roses must still twine around the railing and pillars, she mused, breathing in their intoxicating, floral scent. The swing’s chained hook creaked as they pushed forward and back. When the firm curve of Jared’s muscular bicep brushed against her shoulder, she shivered despite the balmy June air.
“Cold?” His deep baritone seemed to vibrate through her.
“No,” she said, then clenched her teeth to hide their chatter.
“Want something to drink?” He must have gestured because their hands brushed. An electric spark shot up her wrist.
“No.”
“Do you want me to take you home? Petey can do his demonstration another time.”
She shook her head, annoyed at herself for acting like one of Jared’s besotted girls. Since the kiss, she’d become hyperaware of him. Hearing him work with the children in his confident, caring and humorous way kept her in turmoil over her confusing new feelings. She “saw” him differently than the success-driven athlete who’d had one single focus: himself. Even though she no longer had a visual, what she imagined filled her with longing to touch the smile she pictured on his handsome face…to kiss it, too.
They’d given in to a moment of weakness, but this week’s camaraderie proved their friendship was special. She needed to control her burgeoning feelings or risk losing one of the most important relationships in her life.
“Can’t we let Petey go yet?”
She peered at the furry black-and-white blur sitting motionless on the porch’s edge.
“Nope. We’ve been practicing. He’s got to learn to wait for you when you run errands and such.”
“I’m not planning on running any.”
“Who’s going to do your shopping? Bring you to the post office? Take you to church?”
She opened her mouth to say “my mother,” then snapped it shut. No. She wouldn’t rely on her mom or anyone else. Jared was right. She needed Petey. Could the rambunctious dog sustain his perch much longer? It’d been nearly five minutes.
“Stadiums allow service dogs, right? I could attend a Broncos game again, like old times, or whichever team you’re signing with.”
“No.”
The perch twisted on its chain as Jared shoved off it and paced the porch.
No? Shame twisted through her. Maybe he didn’t want a disabled girl cheering him on. He probably had a harem of pretty women to do the job. “I see.”
Suddenly his long strides halted before her. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“What am I thinking?”
“That I don’t want you there.”
In the silence, a small whimper escaped Petey. She wanted to cry with him.
“Look. This isn’t easy for me to say, and I should have told you the whole truth before.”
“You don’t need to spell it out.” She grasped the swing’s arm, stood and sidestepped him. “Petey, come!”
With a joyous bark, the dog launched himself across the porch and leaped at her knees.
“Yes, I do, Amberley. Down, Petey.”
The pup flopped back to the floor at Jared’s stern command. An exasperated woof escaped him.
“Up, Petey.” Toenails scratched on wood as he scrambled back to his feet, then seemed to settle. Something thumped steadily. His tail, she guessed. “Look. I get it.”
A strong hand caught her elbow. “I didn’t quit the Broncos exactly. And I’m not signing with another team. They just don’t want me back as a starter. No one does.”
Surprise walloped her behind her knees, making them wobble. “As in never, or just until your ACL is healed?”
A long breath blew past her ear. “Let’s sit.”
At her nod, he led her back to the swing. Petey threw himself across her feet once they’d settled into the deep cushions.
“Could you still play for them, even if you don’t start?”
“I’d be a second-stringer at best.”
She let that sink in a moment. Returning to the Broncos as a second-stringer would be unacceptable to him. He always strove to be the best, number one, just like her.
“But you could work your way back up…”
A raspy tongue glided over her bare ankle. She reached down, groped for Petey and scratched behind his ragged ears.
“It’s possible. But our sports doctor said there’s not much chance I’ll improve beyond this.”
Understanding welled. They’d bonded over their thirst to win, and now she felt an even deeper kinship with Jared.
They’d lost their dreams. But maybe not each other.
Would having him back in her life full-time, just as a friend, be enough?
“What’ll you do now?” she asked once Petey scampered off the porch, barking madly after a squirrel, she supposed.
“I was going to ranch full-time. But then I started thinking about you and the kids in the program. Seeing how hard everyone tries made me decide not to give up. Maybe I can’t play professional ball, but I could still start on a local semipro team. I shouldn’t give up what I love doing just because I can’t be at the top.”
She considered that a moment, then nodded. “Good.”
He clasped her hands and squeezed. “And neither should you.”
She blinked up into his blurred face. “What?”
“I’ve got an idea about getting you back into barrel racing.”
She jerked her hands away. “That kind of pie-in-the-sky nonsense only works on little kids like Emily.”
“Hear me out.”
Anger washed hot inside her. “Stop telling me what I must and mustn’t do.”
“But…”
“You’re acting just like my father.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Your father was a great man.”
“He was…but he was also a taskmaster. He pushed me hard and I let him, I wanted to make him proud—something I never did unless I won.”
“Not true. He talked you up all over town.”
“Talked up my wins, I’ll wager.”
Jared’s silence was affirmation.
“Anytime I placed second or worse, my dad wouldn’t talk to me for days, he’d be so upset. Now, whenever I think about trying and failing, I remember those silences, how much they hurt, how it felt not to be perfect, number one.”
“He rejected you.”
“No. He was trying to teach me a lesson and make me the best I could be.”
“But he’s not around to judge you anymore. You can judge yourself.”
“It’s impossible anyway.” She shooed away a buzzing mosquito. She’d only just gotten used to her limitations. She wouldn’t let Jared get her hopes up. The fall, when reality returned, might finish her off completely. “I heard from a buyer today. I have an offer on Harley.”
“You can’t accept it.”
“Because you say so?” she demanded, done with Jared’s high-handed control.
“Yes. Since I own half of Harley.”