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"Harry," Matt hissed two weeks later. "What went wrong? How did we end up in this limo with no booze? This feels like a bad version of 'Ground Hog's Day.' Why didn't we just say no?"
"Did you want to be the one to tell her?" Harry asked, pointing at Sady. She was nearly bouncing as the limo entered the Keller's drive. CJ smirked at the look on their faces when Sady popped her head through the open roof and waved both arms in excitement.
"I'm glad someone's happy," Matt scoffed when he spotted Alicia standing between Amanda and Patricia. "It's the welcome mob. Hide your wallet and keep your mouth shut."
Willie made everyone eat before he would reveal the surprise. Joey was there, with a red handprint on his cheek and a stupid grin on his face. Sady was like a child who'd consumed too much caffeine and sugar. Patricia wasn't far behind. "I got my license back," she announced.
"I hope that's not the surprise," Matt mouthed to Harry and CJ after making sure Alicia was out of range.
While they ate Willie told them how proud he was of Amanda for solving their last case. "I'm even naming a hot dog after her. At first we were disappointed that she quit her job to work for you," he told Harry and CJ. "But, I guess she's a real asset to your company, huh?"
Harry gave him a dumbfounded nod, while Matt said to Sady, "She quit? And just threw away those fifty yard line U of M seats?"
Willie overheard and said, "She made you sit in front of the drunks? I still have those seats, but next time you want to see a game just use my box. It's more comfortable, and the view is great!"
"I had to tell them something," Amanda whispered defensively to Harry. "I couldn't tell them I'd been fired."
Harry looked at CJ in confusion. "She just lied to us or her parents- do I even want to know which?"
CJ shook her head with a smile. "That's the price for good seats, I guess," she told him.
Once they'd finished, Willie marched them all to his garage, and he lifted a door. Sady went into orbit over her Mustang while Harry and Matt looked at each other in horror.
"I had a few modifications added," Willie said. "I didn't think anyone would mind."
Matt raised his hand to protest the super charger and other upgrades that made Sady's Mustang faster. He was ignored until Sady saw his hand. "I'm driving you home to pay you back for the rides these last couple of weeks," she yelled. Matt shook his head, but it was too late. Willie moved the group along to another garage stall.
"Here's the surprise," he announced, lifting the door. "I decided to upgrade the Wienie Wagon." It was Patricia's turn to orbit when she saw the vehicle.
"A full size, eleven passenger van," she shrieked. "Now we can all go for a ride!"
"No more episodes with dips in the road," Willie explained proudly. "The hot dog sits higher now. It had to be specially fitted to support the weight of the hot dog, but anything for my sweetie!"
Patricia was herding everyone into the van. When Willie tried to get into the front passenger seat, she stopped him. "Your constant talking distracts me. You go sit on the back bench."
"Oh, my God! It's like a short bus," CJ said. "If she passes out hats, I'm telling her I'm pregnant and get carsick," she threatened.
"Me too," Matt said, while Harry laughed. Matt continued, "It should come with crash helmets."
"William, did you remember the new hats?" Patricia asked. He looked disappointed, and she said, "And that's why you're in the back seat."
Matt and Harry fist bumped. Matt slid his eyes sideways and saw Alicia with her hand in the air, waiting to tell. Patricia misunderstood her intention. "Alicia, you can ride shotgun next time." Matt grinned at Alicia, until Patricia ordered, "Matthew, you come sit in front with me." Matt protested he'd had that punishment... privilege... the last time, but she wouldn't budge.
Willie and Joey dutifully climbed into the van. "All on their own?" Harry asked.
"Run, Harry! She has a neutering machine. There can be no other explanation for it," Matt warned before Amanda shoved him into the front seat.
"Hurry up, Stubbles! You're holding up the show," she scolded.
"Did Willie order it with a roll cage?" Matt asked Patricia as she roared down the drive. She laughed and smacked him on the arm, thinking he was joking. He wasn't. She wheeled onto the street with barely a pause at the end of the driveway.
"I heard that, Willie! That was a legal stop. Now shut up and quit interrupting," she yelled to the back seat.
Matt turned to see who sat in the first row of seats. Sady, Amanda, and Alicia. He decided to keep his comments to himself. He gripped the sides of his seat while Patricia drove. Then, unconsciously he turned and said to Sady, "She's scarier than you!"
When the siren sounded behind them Patricia let out a curse that had Matt turning to Alicia. She gave him a grin, and Mrs. Keller didn't roll down her window until the officer knocked.
The police officer sighed and said, "Mrs. Keller- I thought you lost your license."
She handed the license to him and said, "I know a good lawyer."
He just handed it back and didn't bother giving her a ticket. "Please, at least try to keep it close to the speed limit, Patty. Make sure you remind Willie about my free lunches."
Patricia left black marks on the pavement before the officer was even back in the squad car. Matt turned and yelled, "Willie, what did you have done to this thing? It's a passenger van, for crying out loud. They don't do zero to sixty this fast."
"I had the mechanic put a little something extra under the hood," he yelled back. "Hey, Patty. Give the horn a try!"
The new Wienie Wagon swerved all over the road when Patricia pressed the horn button. She tried to dance in her seat when Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out?" blasted from the loudspeaker Willie had mounted to the front of the vehicle. Patty squealed in delight, then blew it another two times. Matt was too horrified to even cover his face.
Patricia then told Matt how she would reward Willie, and Matt turned red with embarrassment. "I'm too innocent to hear this," he told her, praying she would either return home or end it in a fiery wreck, so he wouldn't get any more details. She returned home and Matt unbuckled, but he didn't exit the van. Sady opened his door, and he said, "I wish I'd worn the hat," before he fell out. "Little Amanda had it all wrong. I think Big Amanda's special room is where Willie gets his dog treats!"
Sady looked shocked and put her hand over his mouth. Harry helped him to his feet, and he grabbed the front of Harry's shirt. "Run while you can, dude! They have a system of wearing a man down. Once they've finished me off, you're the next victim."
Joey invited them to his house to show them his work.
"Does he design foil hats?" Matt asked, making Sady laugh. "If so, it's too late for him. He should have designed body armor, and maybe a lead-lined Kevlar athletic supporter. I fear for the future of this neighborhood. It's gonna look like one of those zombie movies, except it will be all women roaming the streets looking for any man who's still a man."
"Wrong, Stubbles!" Amanda grabbed Joey's arm. "He's still a man, and a computer genius," she told them. Matt's brows lifted, but Willie and Patty confirmed it was true.
"When it comes to computers, he can do it all," Willie said.
"It's easy for me," Joey said, with a shrug and a flushed face. "I design software, write computer programs, build computers... you name it. I can even hack into..." Willie interrupted him, clearing his throat loudly.
"It has nothing to do with Patricia's license," Willie assured them. "Uh, maybe you should go home and check on your computer stuff, Joey. I'm sure Amanda would like to see it, wouldn't you?" he asked his daughter.
"Pops, did you sell me to Joey to get Mom's license back?" Amanda demanded.
"Oh boy, I forgot all about that important business client I'm meeting today," Willie said. "Sorry to run off, but you understand, right?" He didn't wait for an answer, but rushed to the house.
"Willie, wait up," Patty called. She gave them a coy look and said, "I'll just go help him with his meeting." She chased Willie to the house.
Amanda looked at Joey and said, "Nice going. Now we have to watch the kids." Joey looked happy.
"There's our opening to escape," Matt told Harry and CJ. "Let's run before someone changes their mind."
"Wrong!" Amanda cut him off. "Since Joey has offered to show us his work, I think it's polite to take a look at it."
"Amanda, what about the grandkids?" Joey asked.
Amanda stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled. The grandkids all came running and stood at attention. She pointed to Alicia. "You're in charge."
Alicia put her hands on her hips and gave Joey the 'look.' "How much is in it for me?" she asked.
"Thirty bucks," Joey said. "And not a dime more. Ouch! Fifty bucks, but the deal's off if anyone gets into trouble." Amanda had elbowed Joey in the ribs for his thirty dollar offer.
Alicia thought it over for a minute then said, "Fifty bucks will buy you twenty minutes- max. Then you're on your own. I'll take cash... up front." She held out her hand and waited.
Joey hesitated, so Amanda helped herself to his wallet and paid her niece. She handed her an extra twenty and said. "Make it a half hour." Amanda and Alicia smiled, Joey looked resigned, and the team from the Knight's looked shocked.
Alicia wandered away, counting the cash. "You'll get used to it," Amanda assured her co-workers as she led the way to Joey's house. She opened the front door, like it was her own house. When no one replied to her yelled greeting, she smacked Joey on the arm. "You didn't tell me your folks were away."
"You didn't ask," he grinned, as he led them into a house as impressive as the Keller's. He took them to his extensive workshop in the basement and showed them around. He demonstrated some programs he'd created.
"It looks like NASA control in here," Sady whispered to Matt.
"It should. He's got the whole outer space thing working in his favor, anyway," he replied.
"If you ever need any research done, feel free to give me a call," he told Harry and CJ. "I give family discounts," he grinned at Amanda.
CJ cautiously asked, "What kind of 'research' are you able to access?"
"CJ!" Harry scolded his wife. "You're not asking if he can do anything illegal, are you?"
CJ rolled her eyes and said, "Harry, any kid who can get on the internet can do something illegal! My question was purely hypothetical."
"Hypothetically, I can access... just about anything you might need," Joey answered with a sideways look at Harry.
CJ snickered, "Can you tell me how old Harry's mom is?"
"CJ!" Harry scolded her again, with a warning tone in his voice.
"Just kidding," she smiled at Harry. She turned to Joey and mouthed, "Get back to me on that."
Amanda's phone buzzed, and she pushed them to the door. "Time's up," she yelled. "We gotta get back home or those kids will trash the place." She grabbed Joey and pulled him along with her. "I'm not watching those hellions on my own, so put some pep in that step! By the time I get there I want a chaise set under an umbrella so I don't get too much sun while you're watching those kids. And I expect a cold drink on the table. You know what I like." She clapped her hands and Joey ran.
Matt snorted, "You like anything with an alcohol content at least 5%- the higher the better."
"Yeah, well, if you had to put up with those kids and my parents you'd need to unwind too," Amanda said defensively.
"I wonder how Joey unwinds," Sady whispered to Matt.
"He's already unwound," Matt said out loud. "He needs to have his bolts tightened, if you ask me."
Amanda turned with a glare. "I have an idea," Sady intervened. "I can drive us all back home, then Amanda can have the limo when she's ready to return."
Matt and Harry shook their heads violently. CJ grabbed each one by the arm and pulled them toward Sady's Mustang. "Say goodbye to Joey and your parents, Amanda." She turned to the men. "Just for that you guys ride in the back seat," she told them. The look in her eyes left them no choice, so they climbed in back.
Sady started her Mustang and closed her eyes, listening to the whistle of the supercharger. "Oh, I almost forgot," she said. "Look what else Willie gave me." She pulled out a Top Dog hat with floppy ears and put it on her head.
"I changed my mind," CJ said. "I'm sure you're too tall to ride comfortably in back, Matt. Let's trade places," she demanded with an evil grin at him.
"Can I ride on top?" Matt asked. "Maybe I'll fall off, get a concussion, and forget today."
"Hurry up and change places," Sady warned. "My foot is twitching! And now that I know Joey can fix tickets..." She got them home in record time.
Harry was still shaken from the ride, so CJ helped him to their front door. "Just find the good stuff, CJ, and hurry," he begged. When Sady tried to say goodbye he turned and made the sign of the cross with his fingers. CJ patted him on the back with a grin at Sady.
Matt survived the ride surprisingly well. Sady questioned him and he said after riding with Patricia, Sady drove like an old lady. She narrowed her eyes, and he laughed. "Just kidding. You're still a scary driver, Sady. Just not as scary as Patty."
Sady patted her Mustang as they entered their apartment building and headed to the elevator. On the ride up she said, "Do you think I need to give my car a new name? How do you feel about Sean?" Matt shook his head and refused to answer.
"Party pooper," she accused as she stopped to unlock her door.
He put out a hand to stop her. "I have something for you. Come to my apartment and I'll get it."
"Hooray! Another gift!" Sady exclaimed. "This is like beating Sue Ann, Barbara Jean, and Mary Beth in the same pageant." She hopped down the hall after Matt and waited with excitement. He handed her a bag, and she looked at him suspiciously. "Is this a joke?" He smiled, so she opened the bag and pulled out the oversize T-shirt. She looked at the front and put it on over her clothes.
"I love it," she said with a happy smile. "How did you know?"
"Sady, how could I not know? A Willie's Wienie Wagon shirt seemed like a perfect fit for you."
She nodded and spun around to show him the shirt's writing 'It's a Wienie World!' Then she hugged him. "Just for this I'm naming my car Matt," she promised as she opened his front door to leave.
"Whoa, whoa! Wait just a minute. There's no need to take offense," he pleaded. "Why don't you just give the shirt back and then your car can still be Justin or Shane, or whatever name you just picked?"
"I just picked Matt," she said from the hall.
"I should have ridden on top," he responded with a sigh.
Sady opened the front door to her apartment and went inside. She closed the door with a sigh, then slid down the wall and burst into tears.