CHAPTER 4

STRANGE RELATIONS

I woke up to the sound of my little brother singing right next to my bed. Lately Tuffin had been making up songs and singing them loudly.

His songs didn’t make much sense. I told him to kindly shut his mouth while I tried to open my eyelids. My eyes hurt and my bones were aching, but I got out of bed and ready for school. Looking out my window, I saw that the sky was filled with dark clouds. While brushing my teeth, I noticed the Band-Aid on my thumb. My mind quickly began to clear out the cobwebs of forgetfulness from sleep.

Pinocula! I ran back into my room and searched everywhere for him. I checked my brother’s room and my parents’. No luck. I checked Libby’s. She was no help.

I couldn’t find Pinocula anywhere. The only thing I could think of was that he escaped through my window. I stared out the glass. There was nothing outside my window besides the empty rock island in the middle of the cul-de-sac and the abandoned Awful House where the Pangs used to live.

Looking at the Pangs’ old house made me shiver. After Wonkenstein had caused Mr. Pang’s toes to grow long, Mr. Pang thought his house was haunted. So he and his son, Ogre, had moved. It was spooky but cool to have an empty house in the neighborhood now.

I left my room and went looking for my mom. I needed to act sick so I could get out of going to school and keep searching for Pinocula.

I tried a few more excuses, but Mom wasn’t budging. So I gave up and left my house. On the bus I sat next to my best friend, Trevor. His glasses were crooked as usual, and he seemed excited. He was carrying a model of a wolf he had made for one of his classes. He was pretty geeked up about the project. He started to tell me all kinds of facts about wolves, but I interrupted him.

I asked Trevor if he was aware that not many closets in the world had old laboratory supplies and books in them that dripped and smooshed together to produce small, living, mixed-up creatures. He wasn’t listening.

Trevor’s thoughts were too wrapped up in wolves to get his attention. My friends Aaron, Jack, Rourk, and Teddy were sitting behind us. I considered telling them, but they were busy with their own conversation.

My first class of the day was reading. My teacher, Ms. Bela, is way strict and always talks about books as if they’ll save the world. She thinks there’s nothing more important than reading.

We were halfway through class when the door opened and Principal Smelt walked in with a surprise.

I … I … couldn’t believe it! Pinocula was wearing some of Tuffin’s clothes, and he had on my mom’s sunglasses.

Everyone turned and looked at me. I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there looking like a piece of dead wood.

Principal Smelt told the class that according to the official-looking letter Pinocula had given him, Pinocula had an unusual condition that required him to wear sunglasses and not be in the light.

All the girls ohhhhhed, as if that were adorable.

Pinocula walked down the aisle and climbed into the desk next to me.

Ms. Bela welcomed Pinocula and then went back to talking about how reading was the only real subject that mattered. As soon as everyone was looking away, I leaned over and whispered,

I tried to explain to Pinocula what a horrible idea this was, but he wouldn’t hear it. To make matters worse, he kept answering questions that he clearly didn’t know the answer to.

As soon as class was over, I picked up Pinocula and ran down the hall to the empty gym. I put him on one of the bleachers and began to pepper him with questions.

Pinocula explained that while I was sleeping he had explored my house and found his new clothes. After that he slipped out my window and went around the neighborhood searching for a decent coffin to rest in.

When the sun came up, Pinocula began to feel guilty about not going to school. Apparently, the Pinocchio part of him longed to learn. The vampire part of him wasn’t all that keen on schooling, but he thought there might be a lot of tasty wooden rulers and pencils for him to bite.

While we were arguing, two girls came into the gym to hang up a poster for the dance that was coming up this Friday. Our first middle school dance. It was only three days away, and most of the girls were jazzed about it while most of the boys were scared. The two girls looked at us as they hung up the poster. They were kind of upset about the “Under the Sea” theme Principal Smelt had picked.

Pinocula started to point out problems with Twilight.

The two girls looked hurt by what he was saying, so I put my hand over his mouth and pulled him away to my next class.

It was weird, but for some reason all the students and staff of Softrock Middle School just accepted Pinocula as my cousin. At lunch, even Trevor fell for it.

After lunch, Pinocula and I went to the school library to see if I could find some books about him. They didn’t have Pinocchio, and thanks to Twilight and everyone’s obsession with vampires, all the vampire books were checked out. Every girl I knew loved the un-dead, including the librarian.

I had to stop Pinocula from taking a bite of the wooden counter, and we left empty-handed.

During shop class, I worked on the spice rack I was making while Pinocula made a mirror. It was sort of a silly thing for him to make, given the vampire part of him couldn’t be seen in his reflection.

While I was getting my stuff at the end of the day, Pinocula wanted to test out my locker as a coffin. I set him in to see how it felt.

Janae was coming, so I quickly slammed the door. I was worried about how out of place he’d look resting in my coffin-locker. Janae saw me slam the locker and asked if I was mad about something. I should have just said no, but instead I lied.

Janae stood there staring at me. She looked like she was waiting for me to say something else dumb … so I did. To make it worse, I pointed at her while I said it.

Janae looked like someone had just told her that her cat died. I hadn’t meant to say it that way. I wanted Janae to go to the dance with me, not go with me. I tried to explain my way out of it.

My mouth wouldn’t shut up. I begged my brain to stop the madness, but it was no use. I continued talking and talking, and Janae kept looking more and more worried. I was telling her dumber things than the things I usually said. I knew I needed to say something good or Janae might never speak to me again. So I threw out a new lie.

Janae smiled wide. She asked me if it’d be okay for two of her friends to ride with us in the limo. I had to use both of my hands and some of my toes to answer her.

Janae thanked me and smiled again. She walked off, leaving me alone. It had all happened so fast I barely had time to realize what a huge lie I had told. As soon as the coast was clear, I opened my locker again.

Pinocula tried to comfort me by admitting he said a lot of things that he shouldn’t.

My body began to ache and my eyes burned as I walked with Pinocula down the hall and out to the bus. I was glad my closet had created something new, but I was beginning to worry that Pinocula was making my life much more confusing than it needed to be.