Kerry got as far as the entrance to Fiona and Sean’s road before he turned his bike around and rode off. He wanted desperately to speak to Erin, to tell her what he had found out from Joe. If she knew the whole truth about that night, it might go some way to easing her conscience. He also wanted her to understand why he had got Ed involved.
What Kerry really wanted was her forgiveness, but he wasn’t sure he would ever get that now. Not if his suspicions about Roisin were true. Then she would really hate him as the series of consequences that would play out would mean there was no shying away from the lie the Hurley women had created and lived by for the past ten years.
Fuck it. He had to speak to Erin first. It wasn’t his call to make whether the truth about Sophie came out or not.
He turned his bike around for the second time and, opening the throttle, headed back to Fiona’s house.
The door opened before he had made it halfway up the path. It was Sean.
‘All right, there, Kerry,’ the Gardai sergeant greeted him.
‘Sean.’ Kerry gave a nod of acknowledgment. ‘Any news on Sophie?’
Sean shook his head. Kerry could tell before he even answered that there was no change. ‘Nothing yet. There’s going to be a press conference tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Look, Kerry, Erin doesn’t want to see you right now. She’s pretty cut up by everything. We all are.’
‘It’s important.’
‘Like I said, she doesn’t want to see you.’
Kerry eyed up the big man in front of him. He didn’t fancy taking on Sean physically. The man was a giant, well over Kerry’s own six feet and built like the proverbial brick house. No wonder he didn’t get any grief from the drunks in the city.
‘I’ll wait.’
‘Come on, Kerry. I don’t want any trouble. Not here on my own front door step.’
Kerry tried a different approach. ‘What’s the latest with Marie?’
‘They’re still questioning her,’ said Sean. His shoulders relaxed a little and he hooked his thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans. ‘Erin’s sent her lawyer down there.’
‘Devlin?’
‘That’s right.’ Sean took a few steps towards him. ‘Erin needs a bit of space right now. She and Fiona are getting ready to go to the hospital to see Jim. I’m sure she’ll speak to you in her own time.’
‘Yeah, you’re right,’ said Kerry. He lowered his head and made to turn like he was walking back to his bike. Sean may have the height and weight advantage, but it came at a cost. Kerry was banking on himself being more nimble.
In an instant he turned on his heel, took a side hop over the flower bed and ran around Sean’s left side, sprinting up the path and into the house. He ignored Sean’s shouts of protest and slammed the door behind him.
‘Erin!’ he yelled.
‘Jesus, Kerry, what in God’s name are you doing?’ Fiona appeared in the hallway from the kitchen, flanked by a Guard. ‘It’s okay, I’ll deal with this,’ she said to the man.
‘I need to talk to Erin,’ said Kerry. Sean was mad, hammering on the closed door. Kerry saw Fiona look towards the door. He moved to the middle of the hallway, blocking her way.
‘Please, don’t do anything stupid now,’ she said.
‘Come on, Fiona, what do you take me for?’
‘An interfering bastard.’
It was Erin’s voice. She stood at the top of the staircase.
‘I had no choice,’ said Kerry.
Sean was still shouting and thumping on the front door.
‘Oh for God’s sake, let him in,’ said Erin to her sister. ‘You,’ she pointed at Kerry, ‘you get yourself up here out the way. I’ll speak to you only because I don’t want a Sean-shaped hole in the wall when he finally loses it.’
Kerry took the stairs two at a time and followed Erin into the bedroom. As he closed the door he could hear Sean blustering his way in, complaining to his wife. Fiona was pacifying him, ushering him away from the foot of the stairs.
‘You’re out of order, Kerry Wright!’ Sean’s voice travelled up the stairway.
‘Sorry!’ called back Kerry, although he didn’t mean it in the slightest.
‘Never mind all that,’ said Erin. She walked over to the window and turned to face the room. ‘You have five minutes.’
Kerry took a step towards her, but she folded her arms and glared at him. No words needed. He could read the body language loud and clear.
‘May I?’ he indicated to the stool at the dressing table.
‘If you want, but don’t get yourself too comfortable, you’re not staying long.’ She looked at her wristwatch. ‘Four and a half minutes.’
Kerry ignored her and took a moment to find the right way to start off. He had rehearsed this several times on his way over, but now his mind was playing catch-up.
‘Okay,’ he said, conscious that he needed to get to the point. ‘Now, your mother is at this very moment confessing to a murder…’
‘Manslaughter,’ corrected Erin.
Kerry raised his hands slightly. ‘Sorry, manslaughter, and as she has no alibi whatsoever and she did, in fact, go and meet Roisin, I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure she’s going to find herself in jail for a long time.’
‘I don’t need an information broadcast on the Irish judicial system,’ said Erin.
‘No, I’m sure you don’t. But what about a reality check? Your mum is no spring chicken. She’s heading for sixty, that’s nearly retirement age. How old is she going to be once she gets out? If she gets out? She’s going to be in her mid-seventies at least. And what’s it going to do to her in there? Think of the people she’ll be locked up with!’
‘I appreciate all that,’ said Erin, ‘but it’s my mum’s choice.’
‘See, that’s where you’re wrong,’ said Kerry. ‘Your mum had no choice. You put her in this position. You forced her to take this course of action.’
He could see the colour slip from Erin’s cheeks. She unfolded her arms and rested a hand on the windowsill.
‘You have no right to say that to me,’ she said.
‘Why? Because it’s painful? Because it’s the truth?’
‘You’re a cruel bastard,’ said Erin. She looked at her watch.
Kerry checked his. ‘By my reckoning, I still have three minutes.’ Erin went to stride past him towards the door, but Kerry was too quick. He jumped to his feet and pushed the palm of his hand against the white-panelled door.
Erin stood facing him. Fury firing up at the back of her eyes. ‘I hate you.’
‘No you don’t. You just hate what I’m saying.’
‘It amounts to the same thing.’ She moved away and sat down on the bed. ‘It doesn’t matter what I say anyway. I can’t make my mum retract her statement. And now Sophie’s gone missing, it’s all getting too much. I don’t know how or where it will end.’
Kerry went and sat down beside her. The dip of the mattress causing her to lean in towards him, their shoulders resting against one another.
‘Come here,’ said Kerry, pulling her towards him. It cut him to pieces to see her so upset and desperate. ‘There’s something I want to say.’
‘No. Wait. I need to tell you something first. Something I should have told you before,’ she said, looking down at her hands. She fiddled with the pendant round her neck before looking up at Kerry. ‘I haven’t been totally honest with you about the baby.’
‘It’s okay,’ said Kerry, wanting to save her the pain of confessing. ‘I know about Sophie.’
‘You do? How? God, you must really hate me now.’
‘Sean let slip. He didn’t mean to. He thought I knew it all.’ He lifted her face and cupped her chin in his hands. ‘And I don’t hate you. Not at all. I couldn’t possibly.’ He stroked her face with his thumbs. ‘I understand. I truly do.’
‘I wanted to tell you, I really did,’ said Erin, she took his hands from her face and held them to her heart. ‘But I couldn’t. It wasn’t only my secret to tell. All this time I wanted to tell you that I hadn’t really given her up. Not totally, just to my sister.’
‘You don’t have to explain,’ said Kerry.
‘I do, though. You’ve hated me for what you think I did…’
‘It’s not you I hated, it’s what I thought you did. Deep down I’ve never quite been able to reconcile your actions with the person I thought I knew. Something didn’t sit right. It bothered me. That’s why I never totally gave up on you.’ He looked directly into her eyes as he spoke.
‘I figured this way, I could still be part of Sophie’s family, I could watch her grow and still have contact with her. She doesn’t know I’m her mother, we’ve kept that from her, so far,’ said Erin, her voice heavy with emotion. ‘I knew Fiona and Sean would love her. And it meant she could grow up and know her grandparents and me, even if it broke my heart not being a mother to her.’
‘And now I understand why you were so determined to keep it a secret,’ said Kerry. ‘I get it.’
‘Anyway, what does it all matter? The truth is going to come out now, I’m sure of it. Roisin knows about Sophie being my child. She told Mum that she was going to expose the truth.’
‘How did she find out?’
‘Roisin looked at the blood groups on our medical records,’ said Erin. ‘They’re all there. Fiona from when she was pregnant with Molly. Sean from his Guards’ medical. Sophie from when they tested for glandular fever.’
‘And…’ said Kerry, not sure of the significance of this.
‘Fiona and Sean’s blood groups mean they can’t have a child with a blood group B. Sophie is B.’
‘Okay, but why can’t they have adopted her? What makes Roisin think Sophie is yours?’
‘Sophie is rhesus negative. She can only be that if both her parents carry it.’
‘And you and Niall both do, or did,’ said Kerry.
‘Yep. That, along with a photograph Roisin found that I had given to Niall, one of us together and I’d put what I thought was a clever message on the back. One plus one equals three. It doesn’t take a genius to work it all out.’
Kerry took a moment to get everything straight in his mind. ‘And I suppose, what with Sophie being the right sort of age too. Roisin must have thought she’d hit the jackpot when she put all this information together.’
‘In her eyes she did,’ said Erin. ‘And whether she turns up now or not, it’s all going to have to come out in the open, especially if they’re charging Mum with her…her…disappearance.’
‘Did your Mum not say anything to you about the night Roisin disappeared?’ he asked.
‘She said she’d met her. She’d tried to convince Roisin not to say anything, but Roisin was set on doing so,’ said Erin. ‘Mum said we weren’t going to admit anything and if Roisin had time and money to waste dragging it through the courts, then that was up to her. I think Mum was trying to call her bluff.’
‘I’m not convinced anything happened to Roisin the other night,’ said Kerry. ‘I think your mum left Roisin there safe and well.’
‘So where is she now?’
‘Hiding.’
‘What? I don’t understand. Why would she be hiding?’
‘All Roisin has wanted from the start was for the truth to come out. She had a hunch that you had the baby. She couldn’t seem to force you or your mum to admit to Sophie being yours and Niall’s,’ said Kerry, taking Erin’s hand. ‘So she’s decided to force it out into the open. Knowing that your mum was the last person to see her, and once the Guards really started digging around it would only be a matter of time before the truth came out about Sophie. That way, it was out of everyone’s hands and in the hands of the law.’
‘Do you really think she’d do that? Put her own mother through all this, despite what’s happened in the past?’
‘I think she would,’ said Kerry.
‘The truth about Sophie will come out.’
‘And is that so bad?’ said Kerry. ‘Isn’t it best that Sophie knows who her real parents are? She won’t lose anything. She’ll gain another family, the Marshalls – not to replace the Hurleys or the Keanes, but to sit alongside. She will be the most loved little girl in the whole of County Cork.’
‘You make it sound so simple,’ said Erin. ‘You need to take off your rose-tinted spectacles.’
‘I’ve no doubt it will be a bumpy road,’ said Kerry. ‘No doubt at all, but isn’t it time you all stopped running and hiding from this? You can’t outrun it.’
Erin held her face in her hands. ‘I don’t know if I’m strong enough.’
‘Oh, you’re strong enough. I’ve witnessed that first hand. You are all strong enough,’ said Kerry. ‘What you’ve actually got to do is find forgiveness.’
‘Forgive Diana Marshall, you mean?’
‘And Roisin. Your father. Yourself. And Niall. It is no one person’s fault. It was a series of events, decisions and judgements that were made at the time with the best possible intent. Love. How can you not forgive love? Think about it, Erin,’ said Kerry. ‘It’s the only way forwards, for all of you.’
‘I’ve already made peace with Dad,’ she said.
‘You have? That’s great. And that must show you that you can do it.’
‘It’s all irrelevant now,’ said Erin. ‘What does it all matter without Sophie?’
‘I have a theory about Sophie,’ said Kerry. ‘And it involves Roisin.’