I’d hoped Pearl and I could play together
during recess that afternoon.
Because she’d given me water!
And after lunch, she’d started smiling at me again!
But Ainsley
was still not smiling.
And Pearl chose Ainsley
over me.
Together,
the whole entire recess,
they did a fancy hand-clapping game
that I’d never seen before!
Ainsley must’ve taught it to Pearl
one Monday or Wednesday afternoon
when Pearl was supposed to be teaching Ainsley.
I sat by myself on a bench
while they clapped and sang.
And I tried to think.
Because I needed another plan.
Finally,
as the recess bell rang,
I had an idea.
I needed to talk to Pearl and Ainsley right away.
I hurried behind them
and saw them walk into the bathroom.
I decided to follow them in.
Even though I did not
have good memories
of that place.
At least there was no one else in the bathroom
this time.
And Pearl and Ainsley weren’t sharing a stall,
with Ainsley weeping inside.
I could see Pearl’s sneakers in the stall by the wall
and Ainsley’s flats in the next stall down.
“Um,” I said.
To get their attention.
Then I said, “It’s Eleanor. I’ve been thinking—
what if we promise that you will never
tell me someone else’s secret,
and I will never tell you someone else’s secret?
If someone shares a secret with you,
I don’t want to know about it!
Ever!
Then could we be friends?
Because I hate
not being friends!”
neither of them spoke.
Then Pearl cried out from behind her door,
“I don’t want to be told secrets, either!
And I definitely won’t tell.
I wish I could erase sharing Ainsley’s secret.
I should never have done that!”
Pearl and I both waited then,
for Ainsley to say something.
Finally,
in a little voice,
Ainsley said,
“Do we have to do this
while I’m peeing?
Could I talk to Pearl about it later?”
“Yes, definitely!” Pearl said. “We’ll talk later!”
And I said, “Okay.”
But I thought,
Why can’t I talk about it, too?
It’s my idea!
I left them in the bathroom then.
For the second day in a row.
But at least
this time,
I wasn’t running
to the nurse.