Twenty-Eight

It’s hot. The mandibles of an insect move side to side rather than up and down. Young people walk out of their offices, carrying the contents of their desks in small boxes. The television is not plugged in. Lehman Brothers, lemur, oh brother, not langur. The astrologist in Delhi had only one eye. The tubes. The oxygen. Jackson is awake. The Bhakra Dam is delayed and he must take some of the blame. Jackson is asleep. His father was very grateful to the Venezuelan veterinarian for looking after Jackson while he was at the rig. Oh look, the tiny jewels at the horse’s ankle make the sun blue.

Jackson is awake. There are langurs on the ceiling. Someone is standing beside him in the alley and he has seen something that Jackson hasn’t. He leaves, quickly, but he too does not call out. Jackson is asleep. There are no snakes in Boston. Geysers of oil in 1929, Dad, what did you expect? No two women can sing alike. But a dam is not a geyser. The men in kurta pyjamas circle the woman in the headscarf. Look, Jackson, there on the cross-country ski trail in the Noanet Woodlands, your wife’s ass. No, not there, here, in Amritsar. Jackson is young. Drinking with the men in the kurta pyjamas who worked on the dam project. Insect mandibles can dig, fight, cut, collect food. The wishing tree, the wedding garden, the branches weighed down with wishes for children. He stumbled back to Mrs Bhandari’s guest house.

One of the dam engineers had a sprained wrist, wrapped in cloth and tape. Concrete dams are stronger than earth-filled dams. He bragged of his bulky physique. But the Bengali engineer was a Hindu. Why did he have such a big watch? He was educated in England, the accountant said. The Punjabi man said that since Gandhi had been shot they were free to avenge. English gin in bottle after bottle. There was no yoga teacher, no one to tame them all, and what? Such long hair. What did he say? What did the man with the Rolex say? Drawn the short stick. In Brunei the sun sets at the same time all year long. In Venezuela the Carora cattle were selectively bred for the finest milk. Jackson, wake up. The schooner will be sunk by the Germans. Boston winter afternoons are typhoons of sex one year when he expects it least. But Gandhi’s murderer is not a Muslim, said the man with the sprained wrist. Drawn the short stick. The other man’s voice sank when he said, in any case I drew the trump, because by the time it was my turn she was dead and I carried a heap of cold flesh and then what good was she? Jackson, wake up. The other man was an accountant. But that didn’t stop me trying, the other man said. Both laughing. The same accountant who showed Jackson the photo of the fleeing men, arms like wings. The same accountant who told him how long it takes to drown a circumcised teenage boy as timed by the engineer’s expensive watch. Jackson is asleep. Guldasta, drive faster, the clothes need stitching. The next day at the dam office there is a sprained wrist, a Rolex watch. He knows what he did not know, but still he does not report it. They killed the woman while they tried to fuck her. From this vantage point in the alley you can see some things but not all, but you can know what you cannot see. And, oh, Jackson, wake up.

So what will you say to Reema? What can be said? The banks failed. What will you tell the young people? That the water from the dam is released slowly. It is. People are warned. They are. No one knew there were still people in the valley. Look, a cuckoo. In Bengali its call is ‘Bride, please speak’… and on and on it cries. The woman with the missing arm: all she wanted to do was give them a child. Come on, buddy. The langurs are on the ceiling. Reema, listen. He’s sorry. He didn’t see. No, he did see. He didn’t know what he saw. A woman? He didn’t say. A piece of straw? That’s it. He didn’t say. The next day he performed his job, did as he was told. Cowards are the most evil of all. He should have danced with Amelia on New Year’s Eve. A coward doesn’t dance. He has looked away. He has looked the other way. He might as well have been the one who had drowned them all.