JEN REFUSED TO WATCH him exit the end of the street like a lovesick teenager desperate to hold on to the last glimpse of her one true love. She was proud of herself for getting her feet in motion after he’d threatened her with a kiss.
She did take a second to stare hard at the door after she’d closed it by pretending to be preoccupied with the long line of locks.
The memory of his face as he’d stared at her lips would keep her up past her bedtime, but for now she couldn’t dissect every word Luke Hollister had said. She had an audience. And there was very little chance she’d forget the way he’d watched or how she’d felt that close to him. If he’d bent to press his lips to hers, she would have returned the kiss. As disappointing as that was, she wasn’t able to deny that her pulse had kicked up when he’d leaned closer.
Unless she got her head screwed on straight, the teenage boy waiting on her for her help was going to think she’d lost her mind.
“All right. Let’s see what you’ve got.” She scanned the pages and studied the homework assignment. “Have you tried any of these yet?” She flipped open the book to see if this one provided any answers. Nope. She and Joseph were on their own. Luckily, she had a solid handle on teaching rational numbers. She loved numbers. All of them.
Instead of beginning with that lesson, though, she flipped back three chapters and tapped a sample problem. “Do you know how to solve this one?” Finding out where Joseph was starting from was going to be the trickiest part. If they had to go all the way back to the beginning, she’d do that, but she didn’t want to bore him. Math could be fun, but not if you were stuck swimming in laps when you wanted to strike out for unknown territory.
He frowned. “Maybe. I think we did something like that on the test.” He hunched over his notebook and started copying down the problem. His concentration was cute, but she’d never say that to him. She enjoyed working with older kids, mainly because she could have real conversations with them. Little kids like Mari made her nervous. She had nothing in common with them. With Joseph, she had an integer joke that would kill, as soon as he understood what they were and what they could do. Mari was years away from getting Jen’s humor.
Mari was still at the age where any wrong remark could scar her for life. Jen could remember a nice enough neighbor commenting on the haircut her mother had given her, an unfortunate combination of a bowl cut in the front combined with a mullet in the back. When she’d burst into tears, the old guy had looked like she’d run over his foot with her bicycle. She’d been seven, old enough to control those tears, but the heartbreak of understanding that she looked funny and had no way to make herself fit in ever was more than she could handle. Her mother had never quite understood why his comment had provoked such a reaction. Brenda still cut her own hair with the help of a handy mirror and sharp scissors she’d picked up on special at the Shop-on-in downtown. As soon as she’d started earning a regular paycheck, Jen had picked a style and a stylist who could help her get it and she’d gratefully written a check, even when she couldn’t quite afford the luxury, every two months.
Maybe she dressed from the secondhand stores. Her hair rocked.
Get your head in the game.
“Let me see what you’ve got.” Jen watched Joseph straighten, the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips in solid proof of his concentration.
She ran a finger down the problem. “All right. You nailed this one.” She pointed to an underlined term in the book. “What do you know about rational numbers?”
Joseph shrugged.
“Maybe that’s unfair. Point out the one on this list that isn’t rational,” Jen said as she gestured to the page. When Joseph picked up his pencil to write the answer down, Jen wrinkled her nose. “Just talk to me.”
Joseph frowned down at the page and pointed at the correct answer. “Did I get it?”
“Were you guessing?” Jen asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. He was so serious. This was not a kid who was failing because he didn’t care. This was why she’d gotten into teaching, to help kids like him. She owed Luke a thank-you for that reminder. Was she going to tell him that? Still anybody’s guess.
“No,” Joseph said as he ran a hand through his dark curls, “but it helps me to trace the numbers before I answer. I can see them better.”
“See them? Do they move around, maybe switch places?” Jen asked as she considered the idea that a kid his age might be dyslexic without a diagnosis.
If he’d never been lucky enough to have involved parents and teachers who’d been trained to identify dyscalculia, Joseph had to fight this battle on his own.
“Sometimes I get them backward, that’s all. Deciding which one is bigger or smaller in a list takes me too long.” Joseph shook his head. “No big deal.”
It wasn’t a big deal as long as they addressed it.
“What about letters? Any trouble with those?” Jen made a note to do some research before Monday.
“I can read,” Joseph said in the perfectly aggrieved tones of a teenager annoyed with the conversation. “Let’s stick to math, teach.”
If Luke had been here, there would have been a shouting match. Joseph’s completely normal tone was reassuring. She believed he was telling the truth.
“Why don’t you try this problem?” Jen said as she flipped the page to the end of the problems assigned. Normally they escalated in difficulty, building on concepts. If Joseph could work this, she’d move on to the next lesson. If not, they’d start right here and move forward. “Trace the numbers if that helps. Use your finger or even write them down. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to work it. I’ve got plenty to do right here.” She tapped her leaning tower of homework that would have to be graded at some point. She had no intention of doing it on Friday night, but there was no way anxiously watching Joseph work could help him.
Once the tip of his tongue was caught between his lips, she could see the working of his brain. He was doing his best to filter what he knew against this problem. He was trying so hard.
“How long have you been a Hollister, Joseph?” If she needed to go back to his school records from his first home, she could request them, but it would be great if there was enough of a history with the Hollisters to evaluate his learning. It was clear that they wanted good things for him. Luke would help her get him a therapist if he needed it.
“Year, year and a half, something like that.” He didn’t look up. Jen noticed he’d decided to try the last problem on the page. He had a streak of the overachiever in him. Nice. That she could work with. “But I’m not a Hollister.”
Jen noticed his wrinkled brow. Was that concentration or something deeper? Then he leaned back to raise both hands in the air and immediately hunched back over, his lips a white line of pain.
When he shot her a quick glance to see if she’d caught his wince, Jen tilted her chin down. Whatever was going on with Joseph at school, it was about more than math. And this was more important than anything else. “Tell me. What happened?” If he was being abused, her whole life was about to get turned upside down. Going to battle with the Hollisters wouldn’t be easy, but she’d do it. “Did it happen at home?”
Joseph’s wide eyes convinced her immediately that she was on the wrong track. “You think my…family hits me?” He shook his head wildly. “No way. That’s why I’m with Connie and Walt in the first place. I was in a bad spot, but not now.”
“You said you weren’t a Hollister. Do they treat you differently? Are you afraid to tell Luke that… I don’t know what happened to you, but are you afraid to tell them?” Jen asked. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if this was a case of neglect. She could hardly buy that, either. Mari had dressed like a little girl who made up her own mind. Surely people who could love a little girl that much could treat this kid kindly.
“I meant, Connie Hollister. Camila Hollister. Renita Hollister. I’m still a Martinez.” Joseph ducked his head as if that mattered less than the line of numbers he was trying to put into order. “And nothing happened. I hit the handlebars of my bike. Please don’t tell Luke. He won’t let me help him change the oil in his car.” He dropped his pencil. “I did the last problem, too.”
Jen studied his pleading eyes. “Please. I’m already in enough trouble. I was clumsy, but no one has to bother Luke with this.”
To buy herself some time to figure out what to ask next, Jen studied his answers. Nearly perfect but… “Can you count back from one hundred for me? By tens?”
Jen smiled as Joseph frowned suspiciously. “Can I write the numbers down first?”
After she nodded, Joseph carefully wrote the numbers down, studied his list and made a correction before he read it off. Counting backward gave him some trouble, but he’d already worked out his own way around that.
“Who’s your teacher?” Jen asked softly. She knew the answer but it wasn’t going to do any good to get angry at this point. When she marched into the middle school on Monday and demanded to speak with Principal McKelvy that was soon enough to get irate.
“Miss Lee,” Joseph shrugged and managed to do it without wincing, “but I do my best to miss her class so she might not even be sure I’m her student. When she gets my homework, she’s like Who is this? and grades it because you guys can’t not grade a paper.” His drawl was so typically teenager that it was hard not to smile at him.
“She should have noticed the trouble you’re having,” Jen said and then tapped his notebook. “But the good news is that you’ve got this ordering numbers thing down. Let’s move on to some word problems.” She sang it over his groan. If she’d ever met a kid who loved a good word problem as much as she did, she’d know that kindred spirits were a real thing. Until then, she was out all alone in the world.
Joseph turned the page and waited patiently. “How do we start?”
Jen smiled down at him. “We still have twenty minutes or so…” She pretended to think. “Why don’t we go sit outside and talk over this sample problem? But before we do, show me your ribs. to reassure me that I don’t need to call an ambulance, a fire truck and your big brother.”
Joseph rolled his eyes but he seemed convinced she’d do it when she moved to pick up her phone. “Fine.” He yanked up his T-shirt. The bruising along his ribs was already turning green around the edges. And instead of a sharp point like a handlebar or even a long line as if he’d hit the edge, what Joseph had was fist-shaped and clearly he knew it. “I fell off, too. Such a klutz.”
Jen motioned for him to drop the shirt. “Nobody’s buying it. Is somebody giving you a hard time?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and wondered if she was going to have to get someone to cover her classes on Monday. Rooting out a real bully would take priority over handing back homework.
Joseph shook his head. “Nothing I can’t handle. Don’t tell Luke. I don’t want the Hollisters involved. Connie’s got enough to handle. She’s always so tired. Since Walt died, she hasn’t been the same. I don’t want her to think I’m too much trouble. And Luke… Well, you’ve seen that guy and how supportive and nurturing he is. I’ll take care of this.”
“You’re handling it by skipping class?” Jen asked. “How is that working out for you? Landed you in a tutoring session on a Friday night. You want to keep that up?” She wrinkled her nose, determined to pretend that this was no big deal.
“It’s easier to do this when I can concentrate. Hard to do that in class.” Joseph bent over his notebook again. If his head dipped any lower, his nose might come up with a gray pencil smudge.
“Shouldn’t be. Is your bully making it hard to concentrate?” Jen wrestled his pencil away. “Doesn’t matter. You need to tell Luke and your mother and the principal. I’ll meet you at school and go with you, but you can’t be a quiet punching bag.”
His lips were a tight line when he held out his hand for the pencil. “I ain’t a punching bag. I’m handling it. Let’s do some word problems and get me out of here, okay?”
Jen let him have the pencil. “Have you hit them back?”
Joseph ran a finger down the page as if he was trying to find his place.
“I never did, my bullies. I never hit back. I ran.” Jen waited for him to look up. “And I’ll tell you it never worked out that well for me.”
“So you’re saying I should try to hurt them?” Joseph cleared his throat. “I mean…”
Yeah, she knew what he meant. He’d never intended to confirm her suspicions and now that he had, he was sorry.
“I took some self-defense classes in college, too late to do me any good against the people who made me miserable, but I learned a hard chop against the throat will take anyone down.” Jen bent closer. “And if it’s words, you square off and you give them right back. That’s the only way to deal with a bully. It isn’t easy, but you don’t want to be afraid for the rest of your school career.”
The memory of confronting Sarah in the hallways of Holly Heights reminded her of the fear and bravery it had taken to defend herself. Until she’d been pushed to the limit, she’d handled things like Joseph. By hiding the hurt and fear and doing her best to keep it a secret from her own mother, who was stretched beyond her own limits.
No kid should have to live that way.
“Won’t matter if I’m no longer here in Holly Heights.” Joseph shook his head. “And I won’t be here for much longer.”
“Where are you headed?” Jen asked. “Someplace with a beach? I’ve always wanted to live on the beach.” The tension in the room made it hard to breathe. Her joke didn’t lighten it much but Joseph’s rolled eyes made her feel better.
“Seems a shame to live your life afraid for however long you are staying,” Jen said slowly. “Why are you planning on making this a short stay? Got a better offer somewhere else?” The more they talked, the more concerned Jen got about what she was going to have to tell Luke. If this kid was being bullied, his family deserved to know. If he was planning to run away, she couldn’t keep quiet about that, either.
“I figure…” Joseph bent closer to his notebook. “With foster kids, when things get rough, sometimes families send them back. And Connie’s had it rough. Luke will be the first to support that decision, so I hate to get too attached to anyone or anything. When I go back to Austin, things will be that much harder.”
Jen tugged his notebook away, anxious to give them both some time to think. “You got both of those right, too. Have you been faking in school? Pretending you don’t get it?” She’d seen crazier things happen than a smart kid pretend to be dumb to avoid some heat. She’d tried it herself at least once.
“It’s hard to make good grades when you’re hardly ever in class.” Joseph smiled brightly. “Not that I would know about that.”
Jen frowned. “You have to go to math class, Joseph Martinez. Your teacher can’t help you if you don’t show up.”
Was that it? She’d missed the first three days of her homeroom because Sarah and Cece had blocked the doorway until the bell rang when she was in tenth grade. After her mother found out, she’d had to buck up and barge through. With one hard swipe of her crammed backpack, Cece had left crying and the teacher had given Jen the stink eye but they never tried keeping her out of class again. Making her wish she could hide under the desk. Sure, but they’d backed up considerably.
“Take a stand. Tell your teacher what’s going on. Get your education.” Jen wrote a large red smiley face on top of his paper. “This is the work of a kid who can beat eighth grade math. And I’ll tell you what… I can’t say what will happen in the future, Joseph. Maybe the Hollisters won’t be home forever, but a kid who can conquer math? That kid can make it all the way to Mars. There’s no stopping you.” She held out her arms to gesture at the mostly empty kitchen. “See what math has done for me?”
“Winning the lottery did this for you.” Joseph rolled his eyes again, clearly too world-weary to fall for any hijinks.
“Careful. Your face will freeze that way. What do you think makes up the lottery, Mr. Martinez?” Jen leaned closer and slipped the cookie plate in front of his nose. “Numbers. Odds. Math. It’s what makes this world go around and I can show you in a million different ways how the kid who controls the math can rule the world. When you get to my class and we’re studying how trigonometry is used in every science, and engineering and all the things that make this world run, you will be a believer.”
Joseph took a small bite of the cookie while he studied her face. It was easy to be confident. She believed every single word she said.
“Where did you get the dog from?” he asked while he motioned with his chin at Hope who was stretched out on the couch, all four feet in the air. “Not much of a guard dog, is she?”
Jen rattled the top of the treat jar and laughed as Hope sprang into action. “She knows how to work hard and play hard, followed by sleeping hard.” She waited for Hope to sit and then handed her the biscuit. “She is wise beyond her years. Like you.”
He frowned, but the pink covering his cheeks suggested he wasn’t as confident as he was trying to pretend. “Wise?”
“It takes a smart man to gather his resources and even to make the best with what he has.” Jen crossed her arms. “But it takes some bravery to stand your ground and go after what you want. If you want to learn math, stand your ground. And if you want to make the Hollisters home, you go after that, too.”
Joseph knelt to carefully pet Hope who was having none of that. She flopped down on the kitchen tile and showed him where to scratch by waving both front paws in the air. His smile was beautiful. “Not sure how to do that.”
“I get that. Like I said, a hard chop across the throat is simple yet effective. And with the Hollisters…” Jen wasn’t quite as sure where to go with that.
“If only Mr. Hollister hadn’t died. Everything is different now. Connie is so…weak. And Luke, he tries to make it all right, but half the time, I think he’d like to put us all on a boat and ship us out. Except for Mari. Everyone loves Mari.” Joseph rubbed Hope’s stomach and it was hard to tell how he felt about that. Jen imagined it might be hard to fit himself in around the kid everyone loved.
“I could bring my grades up. Stop meeting with the principal.” He glanced at her briefly. “Help out more. Make it easier to have me there, I guess. Maybe. What do you think?”
Jen pursed her lips. “For a long time, I tried to make myself invisible, Joseph. I swear, for most of ninth grade I walked with my back against the wall and ghosted any chance I got when people looked my way. You can’t live your life like that. But you can learn to love what you have. I believe that.”
She did. It had taken some time to accept Will and his father when her mother remarried. And she’d be forever grateful to her mother for holding on to that connection to Will even after the divorce, even if sometimes his perfection was completely annoying. Even Sarah, the girl who’d made her some of the mess she was, was easy to enjoy now. They shared so much in common. All she’d had to do was stop fighting that and turn to embrace it. Joseph would make this work and she could help.
“What we’re going to do is meet on Sunday to look over your homework. I have no doubts you can make a solid start. I will tell Luke I’m impressed with how far you’ve come, and you are going to tell him about what’s going on at school.” The kid’s urge to argue was apparent but he bit his tongue when she held up her hand. Whatever Luke thought, Joseph was respectful enough with people he could tell cared. “Then next week, we’re going to talk about what we can do to cheer up your foster mom. That’s what caring people do, Joseph. You’re already there. You need a little help. If you want to be a Hollister, you can make it happen. I believe that.”
She did. Nothing she’d seen from Luke made her think he didn’t have a good heart. So did his mother, she was certain of it. So many adopted kids? Connie Hollister loved them. Mari’s words about adoption filtered through her brain. Whatever the situation was now, it had very little to do with whether or not Connie wanted Joseph. He was finding his way. Jen was a teacher. Helping kids find their way right on out the door was what she did. She offered him her hand for a low five, which he reluctantly slapped.
“In the meantime, I might have a job for you.” She waggled her eyebrows.
“What does it pay?” He waggled his eyebrows right back. And that was when she fell for Joseph Martinez. He was going to be one of those kids who did great things. She had no doubt.
“Cookies at this stage.” She leaned down. “I need you to do some asking around at school, find out what you can about who’s planning to decorate for the Halloween contest and just…keep me in the know.”
His jaw was hanging open as he studied her face. “Seriously? A dumb contest.”
Jen tilted her head to the side. “Ain’t nothing dumb about winning, son. I will win and I only work with winners. Are you in?”
He snorted a laugh. “I guess so, crazy lady. That’s what my mom calls you. Crazy lady. Little does she know.”
Crazy lady? Was this about her beloved fence? Again? Still?
Then Jen realized she was about to show her neighbors some full-on crazy decoration and nodded. “Little does she know.”
When he laughed, she was glad she’d agreed to tutor him. She was made for this. Nothing could change that.