Prologue 2

Blaze

Seven Years Ago, Graduation Day

I wake up to my alarm, trying to figure out why I set it. Then I realize—it’s graduation day. Sage, Colt, and I are graduating today. I look over, expecting Sage to be next to me. But find she isn’t. I sit up. In the last six years since her adoption, her nightmares haven’t stopped.

She’s seen a few different therapists and has tried sleep medication, which just makes it worse. She makes us promise never to put her on medication again. The only thing that keeps the nightmares away is to sleep next to me.

There’s nothing romantic, we tried kissing once, and yeah, nothing. She’s my sister, my best friend, and the most important person in the world to me.

Colt has also officially been adopted into the family after his dad showed up again. He walked in on his dad beating the crap out of his mom. He tried to stop him, and his dad turned on him. Sage walked in after realizing his dad was home.

Long story short, his dad is dead, and his mom died of injuries inflicted by his dad. Colt and Sage are safe.

My parents didn’t hesitate to take him in. We’ve also added Mac to the family. His name is Makya, which means eagle hunter, but everyone calls him Mac. Sage noticed the signs of abuse, and that whole story ended with Sage being an idiot and getting herself shot, by putting herself in harm’s way, again, to save Mac. She gave us all quite a scare but pulled through with flying colors.

With Mac’s dad now dead, he also needs a place to live. He’s from the local Indian reservation and didn’t have anyone who could take him in. My parents went to the tribe elders and offered him a home.

They agreed so long as we make every effort to keep his heritage alive and allow him to come to the reservation often to learn. Of course, we agreed.

The six of us kids have bonded and become fast friends. Megan never likes to hang out with us guys as much as Sage. Megan is a girly girl, and we always try to keep her sheltered from what happened with Sage, Colt, and Mac. She’ll be mad if she finds out, but we aren’t budging.

Since her friends started to form crushes on us guys and tried to use Megan to get to us, she stopped bringing her friends home and started going to their houses instead, so we have seen a lot less of her than before.

Our plan to buy Sage’s family ranch is in full swing. Jason has been working his butt off at the bar and is set to bartend next year when he turns twenty-one. Sage has started to train horses on the side, and every penny she makes from that goes into the family savings account. Megan even adds money from her babysitting jobs.

Colt has picked up odd jobs after school in the winter when the ranch work is light. He loves the ranch as much as Sage and I, and the three of us plan to work it and learn together. Colt has had jobs from flipping burgers at the café to helping with clean up at the bar, and every penny has been added to the savings.

I’ve been focused on the ranch. Dad has put me in charge of the hay hauling in the fall, and I’ve gathered enough that we have extra to sell, making it my contribution to the fund. Mac loves the plan too. He has made it known that once he turns sixteen in a few months, he plans to do odd jobs in town.

The land hasn’t gone up for sale yet, but we have more than we need for a down payment. We plan to put as much money down, so we have as little debt as possible. We’ll need money to fix it up too. Sage and I check that fence line often and talk to the foreman over there when we see him in town. They’re trying to live off the money the ranch makes while doing as little as possible.

This is fine by us; we’ll be able to get it even cheaper. From talking to him, the ranch can only go another two or three years before they have to put it up for sale, and another four to five years before the bank takes it. They haven’t been smart with the money since Sage’s sperm donor went to jail.

I head down the hall to Sage’s room and peek in. She’s snuggled up against Colt. Since starting high school, I’ve joined the football team. Colt stays with her when I don’t make it home in time. I notice Colt is wide awake.

I step in and lean against the door frame. “I didn’t want to wake her until I had to. She was tossing and turning all night.”

I sigh. I wish I knew how to help her. If all we can do is be there for her at night, that’s what we’ll do. Colt has been great at helping. I think he doesn’t want to be alone after everything that has happened with his mom and dad.

For a while, the three of us would stay up in one of our beds watching movies until we all passed out.

Mac would join the party from time to time, though he hasn’t had constant nightmares. Every now and then, he has a bad night and just doesn’t want to spend it alone. I love that we’ve all been able to rally around and help our new siblings.

We aren’t just brothers and sisters because of my parents; these are my best friends, and I know they feel the same way.

I rub Sage’s arm to wake her. To say she isn’t a morning person is an understatement. She wakes up grumbling something about annoying brothers.

“Sage, it’s graduation day. I smell Mom cooking breakfast downstairs. We have to get moving.”

That seems to spark her awake. She sits up and runs her hands through her hair. She looks over and sees Colt, and her eyes soften. I see something I can’t quite place on her face as she gets out of bed.

“Thank you, Colt. Let’s get ready. I can’t believe we’re graduating today,” she says and runs downstairs for some coffee.

As we head back to the house from graduation, we’re all quiet. Mom and Dad ride separately from Colt, Sage, and me. We’re planning what we’re doing this weekend. It’s kind of scary when you no longer have the safety net of school.

We all have plans to take business classes online while we work the ranch instead of going away to school. There’s nothing like the hands-on learning of the ranch.

As we pull up and get out of the car, Sage speaks up. “Hey Blaze, will you take a walk with me before we head in?”

Colt looks at her for a minute and then heads inside.

We head off to the tree line to the side of the house with no destination in mind. I wait for her to talk.

“So, remember that money I’d been stealing from my sperm donor when he got drunk?”

“The money we were going to use to run away with?” I ask. I haven’t thought about that plan for a long time.

“So, I’m going to do it.”

“What?” I ask, clearly confused.

“Well, not run away, but I need to get out of here for a bit, Blaze. I want to travel some, and there’s more than enough money to travel for a bit.”

“What?” I ask again. “What about the ranch and school and the family?”

“I talked to Mom and Dad and asked them not to say anything to anyone. They get it. There’s a lot of bad memories here, Blaze.”

“There are a lot of good ones too.”

“There are, but I need time. I need to prove I can stand on my own two feet, and I need to just breathe. Go somewhere where I’m not that girl, where I don’t get the stares and pity looks. Yes, I STILL get them. I see it in their eyes when I’m in town. I need a break. I need to not be that girl.”

“What about the ranch?”

“You and Colt more than have it covered. Mac wants to learn more too. You guys will be fine.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Blaze, I promise if my land comes up for sale, I’ll drive all night to get back here. I’m not giving up that dream, and I’m not giving up the dream of us running this place together either.

I’ll still take classes online, and I won’t be gone more than a year, but I do need to do it before we expand, or I’ll never get the chance.”

We walk for a while in silence while I take it all in. I feel like she’s running. I get the bad memories, but her whole support system is here.

“What are you running from?” I ask her. We have never had any secrets between us, and we’ve always been blunt.

I see the surprise in her face before she answers, “Everything, and nothing at the same time.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow sometime. Need to make the last plans.”

“Where are you going?”

“I want to see the National Parks, put my feet in the Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans, see the Northern Lights, and swim with dolphins. I’m going to see where life takes me. I plan to pick up odd jobs, and I’ll be back in a year, or when the money runs out, or if the land goes up for sale.

I know it sounds flaky, and I know I don’t have a real plan, but I need to do this. I promise to stay in touch and maybe you can fly out and spend a weekend with me. We always talked about going to the Grand Canyon together. I’d still like to do that.”

I sigh. How can I tell this girl no? After everything she has been through. I won’t lie, her being out there alone terrifies me, but I get why she needs to do this.

“I’d really like to explore the Grand Canyon with you. Just not during hell week, okay?”

“Okay.” She smiles at me.

I stare straight ahead. “You swear you’ll come back?” I ask her.

“I swear I will. This isn’t forever.”

I stop and hug her as tight as I possibly can. “Promise you’ll call a few times a week, if not every day. I want to hear every detail of your travels. I mean every detail. Make me feel like I’m there with you.”

She giggles against my chest. “I promise, Blaze.”

We turn to slowly head back to the house.

“Blaze, don’t say anything to anyone until tomorrow. I want to take my time telling everyone myself. Please, Blaze,” she pleads.

“Of course, I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you.” She links her arm through mine, and we head back to the house for our graduation party.

Later that night, I come into her room. She’s on her computer, and I assume is making some last-minute plans. She sees me and smiles.

“Hey, I have some things to do. I plan to be up late. Is it okay if I just lie down with you later tonight when I’m done?” she asks.

“Of course. I’m beat. I’ll probably fall asleep fast.”

“Okay, night,” she says as I head to my room.

I get ready for bed and then lie down. I’m thinking about how different life will be without her here as I drift off to sleep.

I wake up and see Sage isn’t next to me. I get up and head to her room, and it looks like she’s packed. She must be planning to head out early.

I head downstairs for breakfast and see Mom and Dad sitting at the table. Their heads are bent down, whispering.

“Mornin’,” I say, yawning as I head over to pour my coffee.

“Did you know?” Mom asks.

“Know what?”

“That Sage was planning to leave in the middle of the night and not give anyone the chance to say goodbye?”

A bit of panic floods through me. “No, she said she was leaving today.”

Mom stands and hands me a letter. “We found this on the counter this morning.”

Hey Everyone,

I am horrible with goodbyes, and I couldn’t stand to see anyone cry. I need to get away from here for a bit and get away from all the memories here. I promise this isn’t forever. This is just for a little bit.

Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, and I promise to check in. Regularly.

Blaze, I promise I’ll share every detail. I won’t forget.

Jason, you better be running that bar by the time I get back!

Megan, finish school, and I promise to be back for your graduation.

Mac, stay strong and if you need me, call me, any time of day.

Colt, I’m sorry.

I love you guys and will miss you like crazy.

- Sage

To say I’m shocked is an understatement. I’m unprepared for her to leave, much less for her to sneak off in the middle of the night.

As I’m processing all this, Colt comes downstairs. I barely hear Mom telling him what’s going on, then taking the letter from me and handing it to him.

I look over at him and wonder why it looks like his whole world just ended.