––––––––
Blake cuddled Hope to him, bouncing her gently. “See? I’m not so bad at this.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.
They’d had a long night and a long morning. Hope didn’t like it too much when she woke up to the face of a strange man and a strange dog staring at her. It had taken a while to calm her down.
Thankfully, Florence Shipley had provided detailed notes in the diaper bag about feeding, and had stocked the bag with enough baby food to get him through the day. Once Hope had been changed and fed, she’d been much more content.
A knock at the door caused Journey to bark, startling Hope.
She began to cry.
“It’s okay,” Blake said softly, bouncing her gently in his arms. “I’ll bet that’s Susie and Dad. They’ll be happy to see you awake.”
He opened the door and they came inside.
Susie held her hands out for Hope. “I waited as long as I could today,” she said. “My arms need to hold this sweet baby.”
Hope went willingly to Susie.
They went into the living room and sat down.
Susie picked up a toy from the couch and held it for Hope. “She seems like she’s adjusting okay,” she said.
Blake smiled. “We had a rough go of it for a while, but I think we’re doing okay for now.”
Dad reached over and held a finger out toward Hope. She clasped on to it.
“She likes you,” said Susie. “How sweet.”
Dad smiled. “She’s a cutie.” He looked up at Blake. “What are you going to do, Son?”
“I called and spoke to Mrs. Shipley this morning. I explained the situation to her, but it doesn’t change anything in her eyes. Hope’s mom doesn’t want to raise her. Even though Zach is her actual father, my name is on the birth certificate. But Mrs. Shipley offered to come get her given the situation.”
“And raise her?” Susie asked.
Blake shook his head. “No. She’d be put into foster care I guess and given up for adoption.” He’d been struggling ever since his conversation with Mrs. Shipley this morning.
“How long do you have to decide?” Dad asked.
Blake swallowed hard. He had no idea how they would take the news of his decision. “I already have.”
Susie leaned forward, waiting, but didn’t speak.
“I’m going to raise her as my own. I’ll tell her someday about Zach. But I think it’s the right thing to do. I’m family. And I will make sure she is taken care of.”
Susie’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Blake. That’s wonderful.”
“Are you sure?” asked Dad. “Son, you don’t have to do this. Your entire life will change.”
“I know.”
Dad nodded. “You’ll be a good dad to her.”
“And we will be the best grandparents,” Susie said with a grin. “All these years, it’s just been the two of us. Now we’ll have you and Hope.” She wiped her eyes. “We will help you however we can.”
Dad nodded. “That’s right. We talked about it last night. We want you to be able to follow through with your plans for school. That’s important to you, and it will be important for Hope, too. Susie is home all day, and I’m just about ready to retire. We’ll be around to help you as much as you need.”
Susie bounced Hope on her lap and the little girl giggled. “We’ll have so much fun, won’t we, Hope?”
Dad reached out and patted Blake on the back. “I’m proud of you, Son. Now, why don’t you go take a nap and let me and Susie take care of Hope.”
“Are you sure?” Blake asked. “Because I didn’t sleep a wink last night.”
Dad laughed. “I didn’t figure you did.” He gestured toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms. “Go. We’ve got this covered.”
“We need to plan a shopping list,” Susie said excitedly. “Hope is going to need some clothes. And a playpen.” She looked at Dad. “Better get one for our house, too”
Dad laughed. “Sleep well, Blake.”
Blake nodded. He was glad he was so exhausted. It might mean he could fall asleep without thinking about Riley too much.
**
Riley paced the length of the kennels, trying to keep her emotions in check. She couldn’t remember ever being angry with Vera until today. “I don’t understand. How could we have worked together all this time and you never told me?” She stopped next to a kennel that contained a gray cat who promptly stuck her legs through the bars and swatted at Riley. “You’re my grandmother? My grandmother.” It didn’t seem possible. She’d always valued Vera’s honesty. Keeping something that big quiet for such a long time seemed like she’d been living a lie.
“I can’t imagine what a shock this must be, but I hope you’ll try and understand why I kept it quiet.” Vera’s voice shook. “I didn’t know you existed for a long time. My son, your biological dad, left home when he was seventeen. We lived in Boise at the time. He and his dad didn’t get along at all. Jake left home and moved to an adjacent town with some guys who were no good. You’d call them losers. Jake had always been a good kid. He got into some occasional trouble, but nothing big. His grades were fine.” She smiled despite the situation. “He was always good with animals and an amazing artist. Like you.”
Riley didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to be anything like either of her parents. “Well something sure changed because when I knew him, he wasn’t that great.”
“By then I guess he’d just gone too far down the wrong path to straighten up. Do you know much about your mom, Sabrina?”
Riley shook her head. “Very little.”
“She was raised by her aunt. From what Jake told me, the aunt never wanted kids and made sure your mom knew it. She treated her like a nuisance.”
Riley felt a pang of sadness. “Was there anyone else?”
Vera shook her head. “No other family to speak of. I don’t really know all the details, but that’s the gist of it. Your mom had a hard road. The aunt kicked her out the day she turned eighteen and your mom had to float around on couches till she graduated from high school.”
“So she was basically homeless.”
“She had no one. No support. She and Jake met while she was working as a waitress at a little burger joint. By that point, they were both dabbling in things they shouldn’t have. Drinking, drugs, that kind of stuff.”
“Bad choices.”
Vera nodded. “They moved to Twin Falls thinking they could find jobs there easily. But from what I understand, their issues only got worse. Jake called from time to time, mostly to beg me to wire him money.” She shook her head. “My husband wanted us to practice tough love, which to him meant no financial help. But I couldn’t bear the thought of my baby out there somewhere hungry. I’d wire money when I could.”
“That was nice of you.”
“When Jake’s dad finally found out, he hit the roof. He convinced me that I was only enabling Jake to continue down the path he was on. Maybe he was right. When the money stopped, we lost contact with him.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I was heartbroken. I’d sit up nights just waiting for the inevitable call.”
“Six years passed without a peep. I finally heard from one of Jake’s friends. He let me know what had happened. I’m still not sure why the authorities never contacted us. Of course, by that time, my husband was in poor health, so I guess maybe it was for the best. He passed away soon after we learned that your parents had died in the explosion.”
Riley couldn’t help but sympathize with Vera. She’d endured a lot of tragedy. “When did you find out about me?”
“After Jerry passed away, I came to Arcadia Valley. I just wanted to know what kind of place Jake had ended up in and I thought maybe I could track down someone who’d known him. I did find one woman who lived down the road. She’s the one who clued me in that you’d been there and had survived the fire.”
“How old was I by the time you found out?”
“Six.”
Realization dawned on Riley. “I was already with the Jennings.”
“You already were a Jennings.” Vera shook her head. “You had been through so much. There was no way I was going to tear you away from a family where you belonged. You had parents who loved you and sisters to play with. What kind of person would I have been to step in and attempt to get custody at that point?”
“And you chose not to tell us who you were.”
“I would have been a complication you didn’t need. I decided to just move here and be content to see you and your family every now and then. Arcadia Valley isn’t huge. I knew I’d be able to sort of keep up with you from afar. I know it seems creepy, but I just needed to watch you grow up. I settled in here nicely. I started working for the shelter, eventually becoming the director. I met Bob and we got married.”
“Why didn’t you at least tell my parents? I can understand not telling me. But why not them?”
“Because then they would have to bear the burden. If they told you and it upset you, they’d have to deal with it. And if they chose not to tell you and then you found out years later, what if you held it against them?” Vera shook her head. “It was better for them for me to stay quiet. And after a few years, I found that my life here was going well. I had a husband, I had friends, I had work with a purpose. And I got to watch you grow up from afar. It was really the best I could’ve hoped for.” She shrugged. “And then one day when you were about fifteen, you walked in wanting to volunteer. I didn’t know what to do.”
Riley remembered the day she’d started volunteering. She’d been thrilled to be surrounded by so many animals. Vera had always been sweet to her and had seemed to understand Riley’s bond with animals. Now she knew why. “Did you think about telling me?”
“For about a minute. Then your mom came in and I watched the two of you. You were mother and daughter. It didn’t matter that there was no biology involved. You had such a bond. And through the years, I got to see how close you were with your sisters and cousin. It never seemed like a good idea to come clean. I waited till you were eighteen and sent that letter anonymously to your parents. I know it was kind of a cop out, but I wanted it to be your decision.”
“And I didn’t contact you.”
Vera nodded. “I knew the answer. In fact, you told me about it at the time. You just didn’t know that I was the anonymous family member. And I respected your decision.”
“Why did you try again recently?”
Vera was quiet for a moment. “Because I’m worried about you.”
Riley frowned. “Why?”
“You’re so focused on not following Sabrina’s path, you aren’t able to let yourself find your own way. I started to worry that you’d never have a lasting relationship because you don’t trust your own judgement. And then Blake came along and I really thought you were moving past those fears.”
“But now . . .”
“Now it’s time for me to tell you the truth. Your parents made mistakes. But they weren’t horrible people. Your mom didn’t have the same opportunities you did. If she had, maybe things would’ve turned out differently for her. She deserves some credit. From what I learned from their friends after I found out about you, she was clean the entire time she was pregnant with you. They told me she was determined to bring you into the world as healthy as possible. She was so young and had such little support. I really think she did the best she could.” Vera sighed. “And Jake. . .Jake had so much potential. He was so artistic. You remind me of him so much with the way you never meet an animal you can’t win over. His childhood was a revolving door of rescuing animals—dogs, cats, rabbits, the occasional bird with a broken wing.” She smiled at the memory. “Riley, I believe you got the best of both of your parents.”
Riley’s eyes filled with tears. “I have to go.”
“Riley, wait.”
She shook her head. “No. I need to go. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.” She hurried out to her car and drove home, her eyes blurry from tears she hated herself for spilling.
**
The banging on her front door pulled Riley out of a deep sleep. She sat up and glanced at the clock. It was Sunday night. Except for feeding the animals, Riley hadn’t left her bed. Since Kate was on her honeymoon, she hadn’t missed her at church this morning. The rest of the family went to a different service.
She padded down the hallway, grumbling. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.
“Riley! We know you’re in there. Open this door.”
Great. Olivia.
“I have a key and I’m not afraid to use it,” Brooke said. “We need to see you.”
Riley swung open the door. “I have a headache. This is not helping.”
Her sisters marched inside.
Olivia carried a Pyrex casserole dish that Riley recognized as their grandmother’s. “What’s that?”
“Poppy seed chicken with extra Ritz on top.”
That had been Riley’s favorite childhood dish.
Brooke held out a tin foil covered bowl. “And here are Mom’s famous Snickerdoodle cookies.”
“So you came with offerings of food?” Riley plucked a cookie from the bowl.
Olivia opened cabinet doors until she found the plates. “Yep. Food is good for the soul. And we’re betting you haven’t eaten since the reception yesterday.”
They were right.
“That’s been more than twenty-four hours ago,” Brooke said. “You must be starving.”
Riley hadn’t really thought about food since she left the shelter yesterday. But as soon as Olivia took the lid off the casserole, her stomach growled loudly. “I guess I could eat.”
Her sisters exchanged a glance.
“Sit down,” Brooke directed. She gently pushed Riley into a chair as Olivia spooned chicken casserole onto a plate. “We also brought some homemade sourdough bread.”
Olivia smiled. “I made it.” She cut two slices from the loaf and added them to the plate.
Brooke started the coffee maker, then sat down across from Riley. “We know.”
Olivia put the plate of food in front of Riley. “Vera came to talk to us last night.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing much. She showed up, obviously upset. She told all four of us at the same time. She apologized for being deceitful, but after she was done explaining things, Mom hugged her and told her that she was sorry for all she’d been through.”
“How upset are you?” Olivia asked.
Riley shrugged. “I don’t even know how to feel. Anger that she didn’t tell me sooner. Relief that she didn’t take me away from you guys when I was six. Sadness that things turned out the way they did for her and for my biological parents.”
Brooke smoothed Riley’s hair. “It was a huge shock to us, so we can only imagine how you might feel.”
“How do I even act around her now? I’m supposed to go to the shelter tomorrow. Those animals are counting on me. But how do I go and act like everything is the same?”
Brooke smiled. “You don’t. Everything isn’t the same. Vera knows that.”
“It’s really kind of sweet,” Olivia said. “I mean, everything Vera did, she did with your best interests in mind.”
“She sacrificed her own happiness for yours, especially in the beginning. She had no one. Her husband and son were dead. She easily could have come and staked a claim on you, but she didn’t.”
“It’s like a Lifetime movie.” Olivia popped a bite of cookie in her mouth. “Except that in the movie version, you’d need a bone marrow transplant or a kidney or something and she’d have to tell you the truth to save your life.”
Riley and Brooke stared at Olivia.
“I’m just saying.” She grinned. “When life feels like a movie I always take note.”
Riley couldn’t help but smile at Olivia. Maybe her sisters were right and she needed to cut Vera some slack. “Did she tell you why she went ahead and revealed her identity?”
“She mentioned that it had to do with Blake, but didn’t tell us why.”
Riley closed her eyes. Ever since yesterday when she’d left the shelter, the one person she’d wished she could talk to about all of it was Blake. She filled Brooke and Olivia in on what had happened.
Olivia gasped. “A baby? Out of the blue?”
“And he said he had no idea?” Brooke asked after a moment of silence.
Riley nodded. “That’s right. So basically, I’m a horrible judge of character, right? I mean, I trusted him. I’m not the kind of person who trusts easily, but with him I did. I even asked him point blank when he’d last had a serious relationship and he said it was forever ago.”
“What are you most angry about?” asked Brooke.
“Honestly, I think I could have dealt with him having a child. But not telling me the truth about his past is the main source of my anger.”
“Fair enough.” Brooke peered at Riley. “But do you think this is a big enough thing to lose him for good over?”
Riley had struggled with that exact question. “Maybe.”
“I’ll fully admit that you didn’t have a great start to life. It sounds like Blake didn’t either. But maybe your starting point isn’t as important as how you finish. You know? Because to me it seems like the more you focus on the rough stuff, the less you have time to focus on the really good stuff.”
Riley nodded. Sometimes her sister made way too much sense.
“You and Blake have some things in common. You both had to deal with things no child should have to deal with. But here you are, on the other side of it. You have a family that loves you in a big way, and are at the beginning of a career that lets you follow your passion. Blake has found his second chance in Arcadia Valley and is building a life here. You both overcame things. So don’t let this bump in the road rob you of the good stuff.”
“You think I should give him a second chance.”
“I think that it doesn’t matter what I think.” Brooke smiled. “But I also think it might be time for you to follow your heart and see where it takes you.”