In the medicine cabinet above the bathroom sink, Dena found a small bottle of bubble bath, the size they give out in hotels or sell in bins by the door of discount drugstores. It looked like it had been there for a while. She unscrewed the lid and sniffed. It smelled kind of faint but pleasantly floral. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers, she reminded herself. She pulled up the stopper on the bathtub, turned on the taps, and dumped the contents of the bottle into the water. Immediately, bubbles began to form, giving the bath a cheerful, rainbow luster. Good idea, she thought.
She left the tub filling, and went into the bedroom, taking off her clothes and tying a flimsy, plus-size bathrobe she had bought in the Kmart around her girth. Then she padded into the kitchen in her bare feet. Candles, she thought. She kind of liked that idea, too. She had come across a pair of squatty white candles set in glass ashtrays on a shelf in the kitchen, probably for emergency use during power failures. They’ll do, she thought. She carried them into the bathroom and set one on each of the squared edges of the foot of the ceramic tub. The water was getting pretty high by now, with a frothy, steamy surface that looked inviting. She lit the candles with a match, turned off the taps and the lights, and removed her bargain bathrobe, hanging it on a hook behind the door.
She pulled up her hair in a fabric scrunchie, and stepped into the tub. Just like Canyon Ranch, she thought, smiling to herself. If you close your eyes.
Carefully, she lowered herself into the water. It was very warm, but not too hot. She’d read somewhere that was bad for the baby. As she eased herself down, her belly nearly touched the sides of the tub. She remembered a girl at work once saying that she got stuck in her bathtub when she was pregnant and had to wait until her husband got home to help her get out. That had better not happen to me, Dena thought. I’ve got nobody to help me. I could be in here until morning. She pulled a hand towel off the rod above the tub, and settled it behind her neck, like a pillow. The candles flickered in the dark room, and she thought, as she closed her eyes, how utterly luxurious it felt. She put her arms around her baby and thought, life has so many small pleasures. And I’m going to make sure that your life is full of those pleasures. Your happiness is going to be my main business. The thought filled her with peace and, for a moment, she drifted, close to sleep.
The buzz of the downstairs doorbell cut through her reverie and clawed at her nerves. It’s probably that same lady, she thought. I’m not going down there again. I told her to come back in the morning. It’s not up to me to go trudging down there every time she comes back. The bell buzzed again and she thought, for a moment, of Sergeant Watkins. She pictured him out there, as she had seen him tonight, under the gaslight at the restaurant. He had the most penetrating gaze. His dark eyes seemed to look right into her. The thought of it was vaguely disturbing. But then, she shook her head. It wasn’t him. He wouldn’t be stopping by here unsummoned. It would seem … undignified, and she could tell somehow, though she hardly knew him, that propriety was important to him. He had come to the restaurant to tell her about Brian, and he would leave it at that.
The thought of Brian made the bathwater seem colder. She put the hot water tap on and let a little more run into the tub. She should turn on the TV and find out what had happened about Brian. But she knew it would only bring all her problems back in a rush. Just a little while longer in this ignorant bliss, she thought.
Go away, whoever you are, she thought. As if in response to her wish, the ringing stopped. She sank down to her neck, and closed her eyes again. Suddenly, she sat up. She distinctly heard the sound of someone climbing the stairs. Gooseflesh broke out on her arms, now gripping the sides of the tub. Impossible. How could they get in?
Before she had a chance to think, she heard the pounding on her door. ‘Dena, let me in.’
Brian. Her heart began to pound and she tried to get up from where she lay. It was impossible to pull herself up. No, she thought, remembering the woman who got stuck in the tub. No. She swiveled her hips around and hoisted herself up onto her knees. The pounding was louder now. ‘I know you’re in there,’ he yelled.
The sloshing of the water as she clambered to her feet extinguished the candles, and little plumes of smoke rose in the dark bathroom as she managed to climb out of the tub, dripping wet. She grabbed a towel, ran it over herself for a second, and then reached for her flimsy robe as he banged on her door. Her heart was hammering also, although more fearful than defiant this time. There was something about being caught in the bath that was so … demeaning.
‘Dena, open this door or I’ll break it. I swear I will.’
Her hands trembled as she tried to tie the robe. Damn, damn, she thought as the fabric stuck to her, made it hard to close.
She thought of her cell phone, and Sergeant Watkins. Be calm, she told herself. Get to your phone. She knew where it was. In her purse, by the door. She ran from the bathroom, nearly slipping on the tile, and rushed to her pocketbook. She was freezing, after her hasty exit from the bath, shivering all over. She reached into her bag.
At that moment, she heard the splintering of wood. She looked up in shock and saw the door burst open. Brian stepped across her threshold.
‘Jesus, Brian,’ she wailed, running behind a chair. ‘What are you doing?’
He stared at her, and his arms fell to his sides, limply holding the wrench that was in his hand. ‘Why didn’t you answer me?’ he asked.
She pressed her hands to her eyes, as if, by blocking the sight of him, she could make him disappear. ‘Get out of here, Brian. I have a court order.’
He started to walk toward her. ‘Mmmm, you smell good,’ he said. ‘Getting ready for your lover?’
‘Oh Brian,’ she said. ‘For God’s sake. Please. Get real. Look at me, Brian. I’m the size of a whale. I’m wearing a housecoat from the Kmart.’ There was a time, way back in the beginning, when he might have smiled. Seen the humor of it. But she realized, looking into his angry eyes, that he was controlled by his jealousy now, in the grip of his obsession.
‘You know what I found out today?’ he said, coming closer, the wrench still dangling at his side. ‘As long as you keep saying that baby is mine, it legally belongs to me. Even if we’re not married. Did you know that, Dena? You have to let me see it. You can’t keep it away from me.’
‘Oh, it is yours,’ she said. ‘But I will keep it away from you. I promise you that. Is this the kind of behavior a child is supposed to see?’
‘Why not?’ he said bitterly. ‘Why shouldn’t the child know the truth about its mother? That she’s a slut, who sleeps around …’
‘Brian, I’m warning you, if the police come …’
‘Why is everything about the police with you? What makes you think they can stop me? They can’t stop me.’
His handsome face was twisted by rage, just as limbs could be twisted by disease. Suddenly, looking at him, she saw the pain that it caused him. He was as helpless as she felt. ‘Brian, you’re making yourself sick,’ she cried. ‘This isn’t real. It’s something you imagined. I never cheated on you.’
Unexpectedly, he dropped the wrench, and sank down into a wooden chair. ‘Yes, you did. Or you would still love me.’ Tears filled his eyes.
Dena was trembling all over, holding her robe closed at the neck. She felt an intense pity for him, but she didn’t trust him for a moment. He was like some kind of wounded mountain lion, stopping to lick his wounds before he resumed his attack.
‘I tried to love you,’ she said. ‘But I felt like a prisoner. You were always accusing me of something. Right from the start.’
‘You deserved it,’ he said. She could see him starting to build up another angry head of steam. ‘You were unfaithful.’
‘I wasn’t,’ she said wearily. ‘What’s the use?’
Brian stood up. ‘I give you everything and you say “what’s the use”?’ he demanded.
‘Is this how you loved Tanya?’ she asked.
Brian’s eyes widened. ‘Don’t say that.’
‘Did you think she was unfaithful too? I know you used to hurt her. She’d call her sister, crying.’
‘She fell in the shower. It was an accident,’ he snarled.
‘I don’t know what you’re capable of, Brian. I don’t know you. The man I came to live with seemed kind and decent. I don’t know this man who breaks down doors and threatens me. I don’t know what happened to that other man. I guess he was just … what I wanted him to be.’ She suddenly felt faint, as if she couldn’t stand there shivering for another minute.
Brian shook his head. ‘I’m still the same. You’ve made me do these things by being so hardhearted. By cheating and lying and deceiving me. I have been deceived my whole life,’ he shouted. He lifted the wrench and shook it at her.
It’s coming, she thought. If you stand here and do nothing, you’re going to end up with that wrench in the middle of your forehead. Dena looked from where Brian was sitting toward the open door. It wasn’t that far. He was blocking her way to the phone, but she was closer to the door than he was. She thought about it for a second, and then, she made up her mind. She bolted for the door.
In an instant, he was after her. She was on the landing when he grabbed her by the wrist, trying to draw her back inside. She saw the wrench in his other hand. Then, out of the corner of the eye, she thought she saw movement on the staircase. And, in the next instant, she heard a roar of protest as Peter, who had been climbing quietly, lunged up the steps and grabbed Brian around the neck. Shocked, Brian dropped her wrist, and tried to fight back. But Peter had overpowered him by surprise. They struggled briefly, and the wrench came loose, and clattered down the stairs. Dena cowered back against the smashed-up door. It only lasted a moment as Peter landed a punch on him, and Brian staggered backward. Dena screamed as he started to fall. The sound of his body thudding down the steps was sickening. Peter looked on impassively.
Brian landed near the bottom step and lay still, the wrench beneath his head. ‘Oh God,’ Dena whispered. Without thinking, she started down the steps to him, but Peter held her back.
‘Leave him there,’ he said.
‘I can’t. Peter, he might need help …’
Then, suddenly, Brian groaned, and picked up his head. Dena began to breathe again. He struggled up to his feet, and looked up at Dena and Peter on the landing. ‘I knew it. I told you. Fuck you,’ he said. ‘Fuck you both.’
‘He’s all right,’ said Peter disgustedly. ‘Get out of here. Don’t come back.’ Dena shook her head, and closed her eyes.
Brian staggered to the front door, where he had smashed the lock, opened it, and looked out at the night. Then he looked back up at them. His eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but then he just sighed. He stumbled out into the night.
Dena exhaled with relief, and then went inside and collapsed on a chair. She was shivering from head to toe. Peter came in after her, examining his fist, which was scraped. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
He nodded. ‘I’m OK. How about you?’
‘I’m freezing,’ she said. She got up and walked to the bedroom, taking a blanket from the foot of the bed. She wrapped it around her, slipped her bare feet into shoes and came back to the little table. She sat back down and looked at Peter.
‘I can’t thank you enough,’ she said. ‘If you hadn’t come along …’
‘I was going to get the girls when I noticed the door standing open.’
‘This is unbearable,’ she said.
‘I thought they’d arrested him.’
Dena shook her head. ‘They did. But for some reason they let him go. I don’t know what to do,’ she said.
‘About what?’ he asked.
Dena threw up her hands. ‘I have a protection order. He doesn’t care. What good is it if he just comes after me anyway?’
‘I told you that,’ said Peter, flexing his fist. ‘I told you it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.’
Dena sighed. ‘I’d better call them.’ She went to her pocketbook and fished out the phone. She began to punch in the number. She had it on speed-dial. ‘They said not to wait.’
‘Who?’ he asked.
‘The police. Maybe they’ll arrest him this time.’ The phone was ringing. ‘Monroe police station,’ said a voice.
Peter stared at her. ‘He’ll be out by tomorrow.’
‘Sergeant Watkins, please.’
‘I’m sorry. Sergeant Watkins is … temporarily off the force. Can someone else help you?’
‘Off the force? Since when? I saw him tonight.’
‘I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give out that information. Would you like to speak to someone else?’
‘No.’ Dena pressed the off button and sat back down in the chair. She was stunned, and somehow betrayed. ‘They said the sergeant is no longer on the force. Is that possible? I saw him just this evening. What could have happened?’
Peter raised his shoulders indifferently. ‘He wouldn’t have been much help anyway.’
‘You know something,’ she said slowly, ‘you’re right.’
‘I know I’m right,’ he said.
‘They want to keep me here but they don’t care what happens to me. I won’t have a moment’s peace if I stay here. I’m not going to sit here and wait for him to come after me again.’
Peter stood up. ‘What are you going to do?’
Dena looked up at him. She pulled her blanket more tightly around her. ‘You’re leaving tomorrow?’ she said.
Peter nodded.
‘Is that offer for a ride still good?’