Jennie jumped up and fumbled with the blinds. When she finally got them lowered and closed, she collapsed back on the seat.
“What’s wrong with me?” She clutched at the cushions and pushed herself up. “I have to stop being so scared.”
Leaning over, she lifted a slat in the blinds and looked out. The car was still there. It was a white newer model, but she couldn’t tell the make or read the license plate. She hadn’t seen it in the neighborhood before. “Oh, that’s rich,” she muttered. “You can’t remember ever seeing the neighborhood before, so what makes you think you’d remember a car?”
Disgusted with herself, she moved away from the window, hating the way these random thoughts seemed intent on stirring her up inside when she least expected it. There were other cars parked in the street, but none of them made her react so … so … Jennie searched for a word to explain. Desperate. Terrified. Why that car?
It’s nothing, she tried to tell herself again. Probably someone waiting for a friend to come out. A guy waiting for his date. Or a smoker needing a fix before going inside. It could have been any number of things. If she felt stronger she’d simply go out and ask. But somehow the thought of confronting the person in the car made her skin crawl.
Running a hand through her hair, Jennie made her way to the light switch near the door. She had almost reached it when she heard a click. Her heart leaped to her throat.
The bedroom door opened, letting in a wide patch of light from the hallway. A tall, lanky woman with salt-and-pepper hair stepped in.
“Jennie? It’s Gram …”
Jennie sank back against the wall and let out the breath she’d been holding. It was just her grandmother.
“Oh, there you are. Why are you wandering around in the dark?”
“I … I was just going to turn the light on.”
“Well, no need. Dinner’s about ready. Thought we’d better wake you.” She stretched out her arms in greeting.
Jennie moved into them, releasing her fears. She could almost feel herself melting into the warmth and comfort she found there. You’re safe, a voice from deep inside seemed to say. She worried about the abrupt change in moods.
“My goodness, child.” Gram put her at arm’s length and frowned. “What’s wrong? You look so pale, and you’re shaking.”
“Had a scare.” Jennie released a shaky laugh. “There was a car parked on the other side of the street, and I thought for a minute they might be watching …” Feeling embarrassed, Jennie shook her head. “It’s nothing. Since the, um … since I woke up in the woods, I’ve been scared of nearly everything and everyone. It was probably one of the neighbors or …”
Gram shushed her. “After what’s happened you have every reason to be concerned. Let’s have a look.” Gram closed the door, plunging the room back into darkness. Taking Jennie’s hand, she quickly moved toward the window and looked outside.
“Hmm. I don’t see anything unusual. Can you point it out to me?”
“Sure, it’s …” Jennie frowned. “It’s gone.”
“Ten me what you saw.” With an arm around Jennie’s shoulders, Gram guided her back to the door and into the hall.
Holding the banister with one hand and Gram’s arm with the other, Jennie descended the stairs and reluctantly explained what she’d seen. “I feel silly.”
“No reason to,” Gram insisted. “What you feel is as important as what you see. Sometimes more so. You have always had a highly tuned intuition. I suspect it’s a McGrady trait since you and I and your father seem to be blessed with it. You haven’t always listened to your intuition, but then, neither have I.”
“So you think I might be right?” The thought both comforted and unsettled her.
“Perhaps. My experience has been that it usually pays to heed your intuitive reaction to a situation. It’s almost like a built-in warning system that God gives us as protection.”
“I think mine has been short-circuited.”
“Understandable. Still, I’d like you to let us know the moment your instincts tell you something is wrong so we can at least check it out.”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” Jennie paused at the bottom of the stairs. Her legs had turned to mush again, but she was determined to make it to the table.
“Why ever not?” Gram seemed to sense Jennie’s difficulty and held her more firmly.
“You’d be spending all your time checking out people.”
“Well, you let us worry about that. The important thing is that you let us know when you’re feeling uneasy about someone—anyone.”
The conversation ended abruptly as Gram settled Jennie into a chair at the head of the beautifully decorated table. “Wow!” Jennie’s gaze took in the ivory lace tablecloth, the elegant fall centerpiece, and the spread of sparkling china, silver, and crystal.
Nick tore out of the kitchen and headed straight for Jennie.
“Nick!” His father issued a stern warning.
Nick stopped just short of her. She reached out and hugged him.
“Dad and me setted the table special for you.” He gazed up at her, his blue eyes wide with excitement.
“It looks like you’re expecting royalty.”
“We are, princess.” Dad came in carrying a huge oval platter of one very large fish. “You.” He set the platter down in the center of the table.
Mom came in behind him, squeezed Jennie’s hand, planted a kiss on her forehead, then pulled out the chair next to her. “We wanted your first evening home to be really special.”
“Who all’s coming?” Jennie counted eight place settings.
“Just us. Gram, J.B., me, your dad, Nick, Scott, and Lisa. I sent Scott to pick her up. They should be here any minute.”
As if on cue the front door opened. Laughter filled the entry. Lisa’s cheeks were flushed from the cool night air. She whipped off her dark green headband, dropped a duffel bag on the floor of the closet, and shrugged out of her iridescent green jacket. Jennie found herself relaxing even more at her cousin’s easy manner and the joy that seemed to follow her around like an aura.
Lisa could have been a model. She was that gorgeous. Under her heavy coat she’d worn jeans and a soft, cotton candy pink sweater. Watching Scott and Lisa together stirred something inside her. They made a cute couple. She had no idea why the thought came to mind or why—if Scott was supposed to be Jennie’s boyfriend—she felt no jealousy or animosity at the idea.
Scott, however, didn’t seem to notice how cute Lisa was. As he shed his coat, his gaze captured Jennie’s. “Hey, I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”
“Why would you think that?” Jennie returned his smile.
Dad chuckled. “Scott came back to the hospital just after you checked out.”
“Yeah” and by the time I got back here, you were taking a nap.”
Before Jennie could respond, Gram and J.B. came in carrying the rest of the meal. Once they were all seated, her father asked the blessing and made a point of praying especially for Jennie’s health and safety.
By the time they’d finished dinner, Jennie had no trouble believing that this was her favorite meal. When she wasn’t eating the delicious fresh grilled salmon, wild rice, roasted veggies, and sourdough bread, she was laughing at the stories each person at the table told about his or her most memorable times spent together with Jennie.
After the meal Lisa pulled out the Scrabble game and insisted Jennie and Scott play with her. Not wanting to leave Nick out, Jennie asked him to be her partner. She only lasted through half a dozen plays before admitting defeat. “Hate to do this, guys, but I can hardly keep my eyes open.”
Scott looked disappointed but didn’t say anything.
“No, not yet,” Lisa pouted. “I’m ahead of you for the first time in ages. You can’t quit now.”
“Are you saying I usually beat you?” Jennie asked.
“Not usually. All the time.” She grinned. “But I slaughter you in Monopoly so it’s a fair trade.”
Jennie rubbed the back of her neck. “I’d really like to stay up, but I’m totaled.”
“I guess I can understand that.” Lisa eyed the scores and turned to Scott. “Want to finish the game with me?”
“I do,” Nick piped up. “I bet I can beat you.”
Lisa rubbed his hair. “No way.”
“Yes, I can. I can spell all kinds of stuff.”
“No more games for you, young man.” Mom came in from the kitchen, where the four adults had been drinking coffee and tea. “We’re going to have some ice cream and baked apples, and then you have to go to bed.”
“Ice cream!” Nick popped up, jumped over Jennie’s legs, and hustled into the kitchen.
“He doesn’t like ice cream by any chance, does he?” Scott dumped his tiles on the board.
“Not at all,” Mom teased. “Whatever gave you that idea? Would you all like some?”
“Not me.” Jennie started putting letters into the bag. “I’m going to bed.”
Lisa chewed on her lower lip. “I guess I’ll skip it too. Oh, I almost forgot. Is it okay if I spend the night? I brought my stuff just in case.”
“I suppose.” Mom glanced at Jennie. “Are you up to that?”
Not wanting to hurt Lisa’s feelings, she agreed.
“Great. I guess I should have talked to you first, but we always … I mean, we always used to stay over at each other’s houses.”
“It’s okay. Just don’t expect me to stay up and talk.”
“I won’t.”
Somehow Jennie didn’t quite believe her.
One thing Jennie especially liked about her family was the affection they showed to one another. It seemed like they were always touching or hugging or kissing her. Tonight was no exception. As Jennie and Lisa headed for the stairs, the entire family gathered around them.
Nick, with ice cream already smeared on his face, ran in, gave her his super-duper bear hug, got sticky ice cream on her cheek, then ran back to finish his dessert.
“Good night, sweetheart.” Mom gave her an especially long hug, telling her for the tenth time how great it was to have her home again.
Dad wanted to know if she wanted him to carry her upstairs.
She kissed his cheek. “I’ll yell if I can’t make it.”
Gram held her close. “We haven’t talked much about your memory loss tonight, darling, but I want you to know we love you and we’re all here for you. We’ll help you get through this no matter how long it takes. I promise.”
Jennie knew they’d help her as much as they could. But would it be enough?
“That goes for me, as well, luv.” J.B. hugged her to him. “Sweet dreams.”
They repeated their goodnights to Lisa and filed back into the kitchen. Scott stood in the entry with them, looking uncomfortable. “Guess I’d better say goodnight too. Um … that dessert sounds pretty good.”
“Scott, I …” Jennie paused. “I’m sorry. I wish I felt more like visiting, but—”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll be around for another day or two. We’ll have lots of time.”
“Right. Thanks for understanding. And for staying. That means a lot.”
He paused, looking like he was about to kiss her. She hoped he wouldn’t.
“No problem.” He lifted his arm in a halfhearted wave and headed toward the kitchen.
Jennie sighed and turned toward Lisa. Before she could say anything, Lisa shrugged. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll have fun talking to the others. Knowing Nick, he’ll get Scott to read a bunch of bedtime stories to him.”
Remembering what Nick had said in the hospital, Jennie said, “I thought that was my job.”
“Not tonight. Your job is to hang out with me. I still have a lot to tell you.”
They started up the stairs, with Jennie leaning heavily against the banister. “I thought we weren’t going to stay up and talk.”
Lisa flashed her an impish grin. “We aren’t. You don’t have to say a word if you don’t want to. I can do enough talking for both of us.”
Jennie chuckled. “I don’t doubt that one bit.”
She leaned her head against the propped-up pillow, watching Lisa spread a sleeping bag on the floor. “You weren’t kidding when you said you stayed here a lot.” The sleeping bag had been stored in Jennie’s closet along with several pillows. She’d taken a pair of pink jersey pajamas from Jennie’s chest of drawers.
“Are you sure you don’t live here?” Jennie found it a bit odd that Lisa would know her room better than she did.
“We’ve grown up together, Jennie.” Lisa tossed the pillows on the floor and crawled into the sleeping bag. Fluffing up the pillows, she added, “We’re more like sisters than cousins.” Her eyes filled with tears.
“What’s wrong?”
Lisa used her sleeve to brush them away. “I know this sounds weird, but I miss you. I mean the real you—I mean before you got amnesia.”
Jennie didn’t know what to say. “Am I that different now?”
“In some ways, no. But before all this happened you were more outspoken. The old you would be trying to figure out what happened. You wouldn’t be so afraid.” Lisa flashed a teary grin. “You were one of the bravest people I know.”
“Were?” Jennie leaned forward. “I lost my memory. I’m not dead.”
“There!” Lisa brightened. “Did you hear that?”
“What?”
“That tone. Sounded just like the old you—opinionated and sarcastic.”
Jennie screwed up her face. “And you miss that?”
“I suppose it sounds strange, but yeah, I do.”
Jennie sighed. “You aren’t making much sense. If I’m sarcastic and opinionated why would I have so many friends? You did say I had friends.”
“Lots, because you’re also very kind. You help people. And if someone is hurting, you’re right there for them.”
“So I have some good traits.”
“Definitely. You’re independent. My dad says you’re a straight arrow—which means you don’t let people talk you into doing things that are wrong or that you don’t want to do, like drugs and stuff. You have a mind of your own.”
Jennie huffed. “I hope so. If it isn’t mine, whose would it be?”
Lisa giggled. “Well, there have been times when your mom’s said you weren’t in your right mind.”
Jennie sobered. “I guess that would be now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean …”
“It’s okay.” Jennie scooted down in bed. Once Lisa had crawled into her sleeping bag, Jennie turned off the light and they said their goodnights.
Jennie stared into the darkness, watching shadowy patterns appear as a soft light crept in through the closed blinds. Though she tried not to think about it, Jennie’s thoughts drifted to the isolated cabin in the mountains. She wondered what Lisa would think about her desire to go back. Was it a Jennie thing to do?
After a while Jennie turned onto her side so she was facing her cousin. “Are you still awake?”
“Yeah. I was thinking about ways to help you get your memory back.”
“Come up with anything?” Jennie raised herself onto her elbow.
“Swimming.”
“Why swimming?”
“Because you love it. Swimming clears your head and helps you figure things out. When you’re upset, you swim. It gets you over being mad and upset.”
“Hmm. I think I knew that.”
“So you want to go swimming tomorrow?”
“Sounds good. Maybe it will help me regain my strength.” She hesitated. “This might sound strange, but what I really want to do is go back to the cabin.”
“Why?”
“Earlier, Gram told me I should take my intuition seriously, and it’s practically screaming at me to go.”
“And she’s totally right.” Lisa’s voice rose with excitement. “You’ve always had a sort of sixth sense. Let’s do it. We can go this weekend. I’ll bet Scott and Gavin would like to go too.”
“Can’t. Dad made it very clear that I have to go with an adult. Preferably him or Gram and J.B., or a police officer.”
“Rocky. I wonder if he’d be able to take you. Hey, he might let all of us go up with you.” Lisa let out a giggle. “Unless of course you’d rather go alone …”
“Very funny.” Jennie fluffed her pillow. “But you do have a point. The more of us that go, the safer it will be for me.”
“Great. Let’s ask Gram about it tomorrow. If she thinks it’s a good idea, she’ll make it happen.”
Jennie inhaled deeply and released her breath slowly. Going to the mountain excited and terrified her. A tight band of apprehension wrapped itself around her chest.