Chapter Thirteen

Dylan’s PA had called first thing, arranging for Michaela to be collected from her hotel after work. When she put down the phone, Michaela paused. It was strange that Dylan hadn’t called himself. Though at least he had bothered to set up a date. It wasn’t like he’d known she was in Sydney before yesterday—he might be stuck in some multinational takeover bid for all she knew.

Finding a way to finish a little early, Michaela almost ran back to her hotel at the end of the day, allowing herself a full twenty minutes to get ready for Dylan. Her command to her nerves to be still was ineffective, and she had to almost sit on her hands when she was ready early. The knock on her door made her jump, but when she opened it to Dylan’s smiling face and a dozen red roses, she almost yelped in excitement. Man, she felt like a teenager.

“This time we’re going to my favorite restaurant,” he told her.

Michaela frowned, anticipating something five-star. “Do I need to change?” she asked, looking down at her slightly shabby dress.

He laughed. “You might be a little overdressed, but no one will mind. Come on.”

This time, the views weren’t spectacular. In fact, there wasn’t a view to speak of—they were pushed into a corner table while waiters circled around them calling loudly in Italian to each other.

“This is your favorite restaurant?” She couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.

“Wait,” was all he said.

And it was worth the wait. The noise began to make sense as Michaela relaxed into the evening. She enjoyed hearing the waiters burst into song at regular intervals, and the food was better than anything she’d ever tried in the Italian restaurants she’d been to.

But the best part was the way they treated Dylan, as if he were family. When she commented on it, he smiled and gestured to the maître d’. “This is Lily,” he said.

“And who is this?” Lily asked. Michaela thought she caught a flicker of sadness in the woman’s eyes, though she smiled.

“This is the indomitable Michaela Western,” Dylan said. “A high flier in the entertainment industry.”

The two women shared a look, and Michaela thought, She’s totally in love with him. Lily’s eyes spoke clearly of all the heartache Dylan had caused her—was still causing her.

He didn’t mean to, she thought defensively. It’s different for us. We’ve been up-front about everything.

“Well, thank God she’s willing to put up with you. I’ll get you both the house special,” Lily said to Dylan and walked away to give their order to the kitchen.

“So that’s Brian’s wife,” Michaela said, almost as an aside.

“Yep. This is the only thing from their marriage that’s all hers. I made sure of that when he left the first time. Good thing I did, too. I’ve had to get the lawyers to ensure Brian can’t do any more harm to the company. Means it’s up to me again, but I’ll sort it out. Always have, probably always will.”

Michaela stopped thinking about Lily and focused on Dylan. He was a good man—a family man, even if he didn’t want a wife and children. “Do you hate the work that much?”

“No, I don’t hate it,” he said. He paused, looking off somewhere in the distance. “There are parts of the finance industry I love. It’s been my life for so many years.” Dylan’s focus came back to her. “I just know I’ve been missing out on a lot by working all the time. And, well, now that I’ve had a taste of something different, it’s harder to be back. I’ll get used to it again. Someone has to keep the business going and make sure everyone’s okay.”

“Maybe you should just sell the company.”

He gave her a sharp look. “Have you been talking to someone?”

She started. “No. Who would I talk to? What do you mean?”

“Sorry, it’s just…” His face tightened, and he leaned in closer. “There have been a few companies sniffing around since I got back. Bloody vultures. I’ve blown them off—I didn’t think Mom would approve. They just want to break up the company, dismantle everything we’ve built.”

Michaela nodded, but she couldn’t deny her disappointment. If Dylan wouldn’t sell the company now, when there were offers on the table, would he ever walk away? Would he ever be able to let go of work enough to concentrate on building something with her?

Despite the nervous twist the thought made in her stomach, they managed to keep up a lively banter throughout dinner, and Michaela began looking forward to spending time with Dylan at her hotel, away from the ever-present eyes of his sister-in-law.

When they walked up the hall to her room, Michaela steeled herself to make the first move. “Will you come in?” she asked, aware already of the response his proximity generated in her body.

Dylan simply nodded and followed her into the suite. They sat on the edge of the bed. “Do you think you’ve gotten used to me yet?”

“After only two dates?” she asked, trying to sound light and teasing when she felt emotionally naked, trembling with the fear that she was only fooling herself, and none of this would turn out to be real.

“Is it only two dates?” He stroked her neck, sending ripples of pleasure through her. Her heart soared as he leaned in to kiss her. All her fears were just nerves. Something that wasn’t going to work out couldn’t feel this good, this right. This was the beginning of the rest of their lives together.

But just as their lips touched, his cell buzzed, vibrating against her chest through his jacket pocket.

Even then, she hoped he would ignore it. He would draw it from his pocket and turn it off, apologizing for allowing work to intrude on their private time together. He would put her first.

Dylan drew the phone out and looked at the number. “I’m so sorry,” he said, rising to his feet, “but I really have to get this. Until tomorrow?”

Michaela gave him what she hoped was a casual smile and watched him walk out of her room. Again.

For the second night in a row, she fell back on the bed, her resurgent desire unquenched. As she fell, her bag, which she’d tossed near the foot of the mattress, tipped over, and its contents spilled across the floor. The three slim white packages among the clutter of coins, keys, and notebooks drew her gaze.

The pregnancy tests.

She’d made herself push the remote possibility of a pregnancy out of her head.

Hadn’t she?

As she bent to pick up the packages, she considered the question. She’d had a fresh salad for lunch every day for a week. She’d been choosing herbal tea over coffee, refused wine at dinner except for a few sips. These were the actions of a woman looking after a pregnant body.

But I’m not. I just can’t be. The odds are, like, super low, and I’ve hardly had any symptoms since the doctor’s visit.

With the smell of Dylan still on her skin, she fingered the plastic wrapping of the tests. Could it really be a possibility? And did she want it to be?

She sat up properly and laid the tests out on the bed. I’ll just have a look to prove that I’m not. Her fingers shaking, she pulled one thin plastic stick out of its wrapping. It seemed too innocent sitting in her palm. How could such a small thing possibly create so much change?

“I’ll feel much better when I’ve proved I’m not pregnant.”

Decided, Michaela picked up the test and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, she rushed back to the bed and grabbed another test, and then the third. The lines showed the same result on all three.

Positive.

“Oh, no.”

All it took was one moment to change everything. Everything.

And she’d known it. Michaela hadn’t wanted to admit it, not to the doctor, not even to herself, but as soon as the doctor had mentioned the possibility, something had clicked. She had known. Felt the changes, as impossible as it seemed.

She had been lying to herself. Silly, frightened woman—as if pretending not to believe it would make it go away. As if pretending not to know—pretending not to love—had ever gotten anybody what they wanted.

“So now what?” Anxious energy bubbled inside her as if she’d drunk ten glasses of champagne.

Now she was going to have a baby.

Did she want everything to change? She always assumed she’d have a family, but as the years had gone by and her career had taken more and more of her focus, the timing had never seemed right. “What if I’m not ready?”

Michaela shook her head. If she wasn’t ready now, it was unlikely she’d ever be ready. The real question was whether she wanted to be a mother.

It took less than a minute for her to admit what she’d denied for a long time. “Yes.” Yes, without a doubt.

And suddenly, there was no fear. Only excitement remained. All this time, she’d told herself her career was the most important thing. “And all along, it was you I’d been waiting for.” Putting her hand to her stomach, Michaela gazed in wonder at the place where even now, a baby was growing.

She’d told Dylan she wanted to have everything—work, money, family. But what if this baby was all the family she managed?

It wouldn’t be enough, because she wanted Dylan, too.

Finally she admitted it—the truth she had been keeping wrapped up tight, hiding even from herself. She loved Dylan Johns with every fiber of her body. And while she might be ready to be a mother, that didn’t mean Dylan was ready to be a father.

Trying not to let the new panic spread through her body, Michaela stood and paced, trying to contain the questions racing through her mind by wrapping her arms around her stomach. Every “what if?” was there, and while she couldn’t answer them all, she knew she wanted the baby. And she wanted Dylan.

Did his comment about intentions mean he was ready for more? Maybe. Then again, he’d walked out on her tonight without a backward glance, simply because he got a phone call. That wasn’t the Dylan she’d fallen for on the ship. She wasn’t sure the Dylan Johns she’d met in Sydney was a man she’d enjoy spending her life with.

And even if he was, Dylan had been clear he didn’t do marriage. What if he thought she was trying to trap him when she told him about the baby? What if he wanted nothing more to do with her?

Her heart sank. Well, she was pregnant either way. Best she talk to him and find out.

Michaela looked at the clock on her dresser. Eleven o’clock. Dylan had left to take a call, an important call. His head would be full of that, and it was getting late now.

“Tomorrow,” she said.

She tried to think positive thoughts. He loved children—he’d said so plenty of times when they were onboard together.

But he works so much. How are you ever going to see each other? And how will you find time to look after a child and work?

They’d figure it out. Lots of women had kids and kept their careers these days. Especially women with supportive partners.

And if he’s not your partner?

Michaela looked down at her belly again. “I’ll have you anyway.” Her career would always be there. Getting pregnant against such steep odds—she couldn’t help but feel that fate was stepping in. She would keep the baby.

…

The next morning, she picked up the slip of paper Dylan had given her. He’d given her his private office line rather than his cell number, which his secretary screened. It seemed unfair to tell him over the phone, but she needed to face this head on.

As she dialed the number, she rehearsed what she would say over in her head. When the phone picked up, she blurted the words out. “Dylan, I’ve got used to you already. I really have.”

“Please leave a message.”

Crap. His voicemail. But now that she’d amped herself up, Michaela just wanted to get it over with. “Um, hi. I really need to talk to you. God, this is awkward. I really wanted to tell you this in person. But you’re so busy, I…well, I hope you really are used to me, because I’m pregnant. I can’t believe I said that out loud. Just call me, will you?”

Her fingers hovered over the phone as she contemplated whether to call him again and leave another message—a calmer one this time.

No, it might just muddy the issue. Calling like that was not what she had planned, but it was done now. He’d either take the news well or not. Best she find out what he really thought rather than trying to smooth over the matter.

She crossed her fingers as she put the phone down.

Stepping into the shower, she tried to forget about Dylan and the baby and review what she needed to do at work, all the while listening out for the trill of her cell.

Nothing. Her cell remained resolutely silent.

She tried his office line on her way into work and then again when she got into the office. At lunch three times. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. A horrible sense of dèjà vu flashed through her. Not again. This couldn’t be happening a second time.

Michaela flicked back over their last few days together. Was Dylan Johns really life partner material? She’d only found him again when she ran into him at his office, and he’d had to leave when he got an important call. They’d gone out for dinner so he could apologize, but last night he had taken a call and left just when she’d thought they were going to resume their old physical intimacy. Now she’d left him the most important message of her life, and…nothing. Her stomach turned. The pattern was unmistakable.

Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt one more time, Michaela looked up his office and dialed his secretary. The answer did nothing to alleviate her growing dread. Yes, Mr. Johns was busy. He’d call her back as soon as he was able.

This corporate Dylan Johns was always busy. Michaela didn’t fit into his schedule, she didn’t fit into his life, and neither did a baby. What was she going to do?

A calm settled in. She’d made a decision, right? She could do this alone. She would do it alone.

If only she could stop her heart from aching.

…

“What’s wrong now?”

Lily looked up from behind the bar with hurt in her eyes.

Damn. Dylan hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but there was always something with Lily. He’d had back-to-back meetings all morning and hadn’t even made it into the office yet. When his secretary called to tell him Lily and Michaela had both tried to get hold of him, he’d hoped to deal with Lily over the phone and make a dinner date with Michaela. Lily’s tears had changed that plan. Would his life ever be his own?

He steadied himself and reached for the plate of garlic bread Lily had ordered from the restaurant kitchen. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be abrupt. What’s happening?”

Lily poured herself a glass of water and took a sip. “The kids keep asking about when Daddy is coming back. It’s horrible. I don’t know what to tell them anymore.”

“I think it’s time for the truth. Brian’s never going to be the father you want him to be.”

Lily waved off his comment. “I know. You’re more of a father than he has been for a long time. You fit with us. You know how much the kids missed you when you were away. We make a good family.”

Dylan coughed as he tried to swallow the bread too quickly. Was he reading her right? Lily looked up at him from under her lashes.

Oh, no. He thought he’d dealt with this.

“I’m no one’s father.”

“You could be.”

Dylan’s clenched his jaw. “Lily, I love your kids, you know that. And you and I get along great, but we’re never going to be together. I’m not the dutiful husband and father type.”

“But we need you. I need you. You can’t abandon us, too.”

“I’m not abandoning you, Lily.”

“You are. You’re as bad as he is.” Lily’s tears began to fall, but Dylan didn’t pull her into his arms. He’d had enough.

“No, Lily. I’m not as bad as he is. I’ve been here for you every time, all the time. And I’m here now, even though I should be with someone else.”

“But I love you.”

There it was. Lily’s declaration hung in the air between them. “I know.” He took her hand and spoke gently. “And I’m flattered. Any man would be glad to have you.”

Lily’s tears stilled. “Just not you.” She sniffed and straightened.

“Not me.” He patted her hand. “But you already knew that, really, didn’t you? It would never work for us. You’re the sister I never had.”

Lily managed a wan smile. “I still love you.”

“And I love you. Just not like that.”

“Okay.” Her sniveling stopped. She had known what his answer would be, that much was obvious. She’d just wanted to give it one last go.

“Anyway, I’m too busy for anyone.” The words were a revelation to Dylan. It was true, he was busy all the time, and if that was the case, what was he doing with Michaela?

Lily gave him a long look. “Is that what you really want?”

Dylan stared up at his sister–in-law and shook his head.

“That woman you brought here. Michaela? You really like her, don’t you?”

Hearing her name made Dylan’s skin tingle. Yes. Yes, he really liked Michaela Western.

“Well, stop being so busy then. No one’s making you. The company has ruled your life forever. Do something about it.”

“Easier said than done.” He sighed.

She put her hands on her hips. “Did you enjoy being on that cruise ship?”

“Sure.” He laughed. “Who wouldn’t?”

“I mean the dancing. Isn’t that what you always wanted to do?” Her tone became authoritarian, entirely the sister he’d just told her she was. “There’s a movie being shot in Sydney. A music hall thing. Go audition. If you don’t get in, never mind. But if you do…”

“Maybe.” Dylan looked at his watch. “Are you going to be okay?”

Lily sighed. “I coped for ten years without Brian ever really being here.”

“I meant about us.”

She shrugged. “I had to give it a shot. I’ll talk to you later. I’m fine. We’ll be fine.” Taking the empty plate, she walked back to the kitchen.

Maybe he should give the audition a shot. Dylan pulled out his cell and scrolled back through the calls he’d had yesterday until he found the country code he was looking for. It was the call that had interrupted him and Michaela last night. The offer he’d dismissed out of habit, but which probably warranted closer attention. His lawyer, Jeremy, had even e-mailed him about the caller and his company this morning.

After a short conversation, he called his secretary. “Can you get me and Jeremy on the next plane to Singapore? I’ll need a hotel for a night, too. And move my meetings for the next couple of days.”

Dylan thought of spending time in Singapore without Michaela and felt a tug in his chest. It was just for a couple of days. A couple of days that could change everything.

…

Dylan stopped by the office on his way back from the airport. His head still spun from his whirlwind of meetings in Asia. Flicking through the contracts he’d gone over and over on the plane, he couldn’t quite believe what he was looking at. “Freedom.”

He shut the file. “And it was so easy.”

When Michaela had suggested it, she’d made it sound so simple. Sell the company. Sever his ties, and live a different life. The life he wanted. Simple and logical, just like being with her.

“A new partner.” He still couldn’t quite believe it was possible—and so quickly. There were still a number of details to sort out, but it was more than possible. The decision had been made. The Board had already approved it. Because the Singapore company had been looking for a while, all the due diligence was finalized. McCrays would get a new partner and a bunch of new executives.

This week, the world had become a place where Dylan got to choose his destiny.

After scanning through the messages from his secretary, Dylan turned to his private office line. He hardly gave out the number to anyone, and now that his mother and Brian were gone, he pretty much ignored it. His secretary diverted any important business calls to his cell. A flashing light indicated he had a message. He played it back.

Um, hi. I really need to talk to you. God, this is awkward. He smiled at Michaela’s voice. I really wanted to tell you this in person. But you’re so busy, I…well, I hope you really are used to me, because I’m pregnant. I can’t believe I said that out loud. Just call me, will you?

Pregnant!

A child. Their child. He was going to be a father.

How? His thoughts flashed back to Vanuatu. They’d been careful, except that first time. He’d been so caught up in the moment, in their mutual desire…

Dylan’s smile faded as a hand squeezed his heart. Just when he’d got himself free of commitments. “How did this happen?”

Perhaps you’re asking the wrong question. It’s not how, it’s why.

“Maybe it’s one of those things that’s meant to be.”

Dylan saw his current life stretched out clearly in front of him. The long hours, the fear of commitment, the fear of marriage—all of it was about trying to avoid being like his brother and father. But he wasn’t a bit like either of them. He’d fallen into the same workaholic patterns since he’d come back, all that time on the ship undone in a few short days.

“Not anymore.” He still got to choose his own destiny, and he needed Michaela to be a part of it.

To think he’d first decided to pursue her as a challenge. “And instead she’s been the one to challenge me. To challenge everything I thought I knew.” He smiled when he thought about all the changes that had clicked into place over the last few days.

Looking at the photograph of his mother on his desk, the smile drooped a little. “I’m sorry you never got to meet Michaela,” he said to his mother. “I think you would have got on really well. I know we didn’t talk about me going back to dancing. But all this money and success was never really me. I only did it to please you. Stupid, hey? I wish we’d talked about this earlier, I know you would have understood. Don’t worry, though, I’ll make you proud.”

The truth of his own words strengthened him. His new business merger would finally release him from the day-to-day running of the company, and he could truly start living. A whole new chapter of his life was just beginning—and he meant to ensure Michaela was in it. Michaela and their baby.

He looked up the number for the studio that was holding the auditions Lily had told him about. There was just one more thing to sort out.