part0005

She gasped in a breath, as she woke to a torrent of memories bombarding her mind. Her life literally flashed before her eyes, as it all came back to her. Every victory, every defeat, every lover, every enemy, and all that was in between. A hundred Millennia of personal history, and then some.

She was soaked in sweat and shook slightly as she sat up in bed. She was confused for a moment, until she remembered she was in Jacob’s bed. They’d made love for the first-time last night, and she’d fell asleep feeling flush with power, safe in his arms, and extremely sated and contented.

There were tears in her eyes, and the weight of her life felt so heavy in that moment. She remembered each of her mates in perfect clarity. She also remembered grieving for each one of them, but that grieving process felt incomplete now, the memories were too sharp and fresh.

She looked down at Jacob, and she smiled through the tears. She did care for him. She had been coming to love him, and still felt that very strongly. He was more than worthy of her. She didn’t regret last night at all, but she felt on the edge of a breakdown and needed some space.

She also didn’t think she was all that different. Perhaps a little wiser, and a little bolder, a little less likely to suppress her sometimes pointed observations, but she supposed Jacob would be the judge of that. She truly hoped this wouldn’t come between them, but she couldn’t spare much thought for it in the moment.

She caressed his face lightly and released a spell, she didn’t want to wake him up, and now a grenade wouldn’t be able to wake him for the next thirty minutes or so. There would be a time to share and lean on him for support, but in that moment, she just needed to let herself fall apart. Some things shouldn’t be shared. Grief yes, breakdowns no.

Not only grief for her lovers, but for herself, for the thirty-five thousand years she’d spent entombed in the Earth. It was a miracle she wasn’t insane. She would’ve been insane, if it wasn’t for the fact her mind had been able to travel and roam the wilderness above her tomb with the animals. She’d even been a tree for a while. Even then, it had been a close thing, as she imagined the worst. At least, until humanity had spread out and reached the location of her burial site.

She slipped quietly out of bed, and then headed for the shower in the hallway bathroom. Her scent was all fear and despair, it was in her sweat which covered her body. She smirked, she supposed that was one thing that was different, she always kept her nose, ears, and eyes slightly enhanced. Not fully, her memory free self had been right about that, it would’ve been far too intense to deal with all the time. But… slightly enhanced, gave her edges that her magic alone did not.

She sighed, as she turned on the water, and stepped in as soon as it started to steam. The hot water felt great on her skin, washing away the sweat and the other juices from last night. She shuddered, as tears started to fall, and barely had started on soaping herself up as she started to weep. She didn’t suppress it, she let it all out as tears ran down her face, and she said goodbye to all her loved ones once again. It wouldn’t be that simple, but it would be enough to be functional again.

She was extremely old, if there was one thing she’d learned, it was that life went on. Always. She’d had fifty-three mates over the sixty-five thousand years she’d not been imprisoned, after the fifteen thousand or so years she’d spent in thrall to Samael. Not all of them had been shifters, especially in the beginning as they were of her lineage, but most of the latter ones had been. She’d also bore and lost hundreds of children. The legends were both right and wrong, a sprinkling of truth in a story twisted to teach morals, in books written by men that weren’t there, twisted for their own ends, desire, and purpose, from an already twisted aural history that had changed over thousands of years.

She finished washing up, and did her hair as well, but stayed under the hot spray as the tears just kept coming.

When the storm of weeping slowed, she took a moment to restore her witch protections, but she mixed the past knowledge with the new things she’d learned. She wasn’t sure if they’d forgotten a lot, given Allison hadn’t known about the basic aural whip technique she suspected they may have, but it was impossible to say since her own training had been at such a basic level. A few of the new visualization techniques were better than what she used to use. The pipes guarding her from the web streams now had three valves and several different filters.

Nothing was perfect, but with that kind of setup she could use web reactive spells and be guarded from a return attack at the same time. It would also filter her name, location, and any other data from the magic she sent out, and they’d be pure spells in purpose. She smiled through the tears, maybe later on that day she’d teach Allison something, instead of the other way around.

When the tears finally stopped, over an hour later, her head pounded and felt stuffed. She shifted that away, as she turned off the shower. She grabbed the towel, and she started to dry off. She still felt a bit delicate, but it was mostly from being free from her tomb. She had truly grieved her old lovers, and the death of family and her past teammates before moving on to another mate a long time ago. The storm of weeping had distanced herself from those old memories. They were still far too sharp in her mind, but she had some perspective.

It was the massacre, when she’d been freed, that truly weighed on her heart. She should have done it differently, she could have avoided it, if she’d broken her own rules. She’d been so weak, and insane with hunger when they’d accidentally freed her, but only because she’d been subsisting on the life force of lesser creatures for so long, simply because she was unable to get consent from the humans in the area. But once she was free, the temptation had thrown her over the edge, she shied away from the memories, there was nothing she could do about it then.

She walked back to her own room, and she pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt.

She blew out a breath, and centered herself, then headed toward Jacob’s room. The room she hoped was now hers as well, but she was uncertain how Jacob would feel about that idea, or even about who she was with her memories restored…

She frowned as she stared at the empty bed. She hadn’t even felt him get up and move, and she felt through the web that he was in his office. To be fair to her, she’d been a little self-absorbed, and not paying attention to things in her grief. She turned, and she walked down the hall to his office and entered.

He frowned up at her from behind his desk, he’d obviously been on the computer checking up on something or other.

She smiled tentatively, “Good morning.”

He looked annoyed, perhaps hurt that she’d left his bed?

She shrugged, and walked toward the desk, “I had a nightmare, and needed a shower. I also needed to be alone for a while, I remembered everything.”

His eyes were glued on her, as she walked around the desk, and then leaned back against the desk right next to him and his chair. The computer screen showed a news channel, but she only noticed peripherally as her eyes never left his.

He frowned deeper, “You have your memories back?”

She nodded, “Nothing has changed for me. At least, not about us.”

She smiled, as she moved slowly and seductively, and straddled his legs as she crawled into his chair. She smiled wider, and claimed a kiss, as he was totally mesmerized. She could feel and scent his uncertainty, but also his hope, deep caring, and stirring lust that went straight to her core.

He said uncertainly, “You’re different.”

She shrugged, her voice both soft and filled with sultry heat, “Not really, though to you I suppose I appear that way. Let’s just say I’ve had the thought of straddling you in this chair a lot more than once in the past, it’s just now I’m bold enough to go with it. Not just because of my past memories, but because we’ve crossed that threshold of intimacy.”

She wondered if she was coming on too strong, but she wanted him. She wanted him as her mate in this lifetime, for this lifetime. For a human it was impossibly early, but with her advantages she knew all she needed to know about this man, he made both her body and heart sing. She did prefer to be chased, and that’s how it happened, he’d chased her. But… she’d always been aggressively sensual with her mates, once they’d caught her, more of a give and take than anything else.

Still, she’d just gotten her memories back, and it had obviously thrown him off.

Then she forgot about those worries, as he reached up, cupped the back of her neck, and pulled her into a passionate kiss that made her moan breathily into his mouth. She also may have grinded her body against his.

She smiled, as he picked her up with a look of hunger in his eyes, and he carried her back towards the bedroom. Yep, she still had it. She was sure there would be questions, and that he’d have to adjust to the new bolder her, but she wasn’t all that worried about it anymore. She could feel how much he cared, along with the powerful, fun, and naughtier emotions of that moment.