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That night, after an amazing dinner with my ever-expanding new circle, I finally found myself alone with Oisin as we got ready for bed. I closed the bedroom door this time. I might be slow sometimes, but I wasn't stupid. Con might not want to walk in on this particular interaction.
"Alright, fae. Spill it," I demanded, blocking the door and crossing my arms over my chest. Oisin paused in the middle of undressing, his nimble fingers hovering over the last button on his shirt.
"Pardon?" He popped the button loose and slipped his shirt off, pulling the hair tie out of his hair and giving the curtain of red silk an artful shake for good measure.
Yes, he was breathtaking. And no, I wasn't falling for it. "No. You tell me what the hell is going on right now, you little liar."
He heaved a sigh and slipped out of his pants, obviously trying one more distraction technique. I watched his pert ass cheeks flex as he stepped into a pair of pajama pants and pulled them up more slowly than necessary. I'm strong. I remained where I was.
He turned to me and crossed his arms over his own lean chest, mimicking my posture. "It will be fine," he said calmly. "No need to get your ruff all fluffed up gryphon. You heard what White said, and his kind are dead serious about territory." He rolled his eyes. "He thinks anyone who lives in the city limits belongs to him personally."
I paced a few steps closer. "You know that isn't an answer. That's just a temporary Band-Aid over something that needs fucking stitches." When he opened his mouth to continue down that road, I held up a hand to shut him up. He would keep me going in circles for days if I let him. "No. I don't care about that at the moment. Who is the other fae?"
He stared at me. I could see his clever mind working behind those sharp green eyes. "I never promised you truth, gryphon," he said finally, his tone cold. "You share my house and my bed, but I never promised you full access to my life."
I immediately wanted to punch him in the face, but I somehow managed not to. He was just trying to get to me, so I'd back off. "No, you didn't," I said softly. "You didn't promise me anything other than a regular fuck. But I love you anyway, you asshole. And I know damned well you feel the same. And I might be complete shit at the emotions thing, but even I know when you love someone, you tell them your secrets."
He closed the distance between us, dropping his arms to his sides as he paced around me, his motions more fluid and graceful than a stalking cat. "My secrets? What, are we middle school girls? You tell me your secrets, I tell you mine. Are we going to read each other's journals and braid each other's hair?"
I kept my claws in. Barely. "Oisin, don't do this shit. Just tell me what the fuck is wrong."
He stopped in front of me and stared up at me with this weird combination of fury and pain that I had never seen in his eyes. Maybe he always hid it behind the flirty, snarky mask he wore. He was a master of illusion. Because suddenly his eyes revealed his age. And I realized that living so long just meant more opportunities to experience misery. "Some things you are just not meant to know, gryphon. Is that so hard to wrap your tiny bird brain around?"
I rolled my eyes and gave him an unimpressed look, one eyebrow raised. "Are you done? You can insult me all day, but I'm not leaving you alone until you start sharing."
He clenched his teeth, his lean jaw flexing. "Can't you just do what's good for you, Gesa? Just this one damned time? You don't need to be in the middle of this. Let me deal with my own problems."
I finally reached for him then. I might play it off like it didn't bother me, but I didn't like this yawning distance I could feel forming between us. Sure, we might snark at each other constantly, but we both knew it was teasing. This was different. The jackass just tried to drive a wedge between us for real. To drive me away.
I gripped his shoulders and gave him a little shake. "Don't do this to me. You might pretend it doesn't mean anything to you, but I know better. This thing between us isn't just some cheap amusement. You moved me into your damned house. And Con. What do you think will happen to us when everything you're trying to deal with alone goes boom?"
He chuckled darkly. "Boom?"
I nodded. "Big boom, knowing you."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, dropping his asshole attitude for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, Gesa, I... I know you see secrets as a betrayal. But I can't tell you everything I've seen and done. I just can't. And there is someone else I must think of. Someone who isn't as strong as you. Someone who can't protect themselves." He reached up to cup my cheek with one graceful hand. "Please, Gesa. I'm sure you'll know the whole of it someday, but let that not be today. Despite appearances, I really would like to keep you around a bit longer." He smiled sadly. "You're right. I am rather fond of you, beautiful beast."
And that...Gods I wanted to strangle him for not answering me. But I also wanted to hold him until that heart-wrenching sadness left his eyes.
"Gods damn it, Oisin," I muttered.
He closed his eyes and exhaled. "I know."
Pulling away, I went to change into my own pajamas. "I do love you, you know," I said as I pulled on a well-worn t-shirt and turned back to him. "Whatever it is, whoever you are protecting—I could help you. I don't want you to have to do this alone."
He sighed. "I know, darling. And that is exactly the problem. You can't help. And if you knew...just suffice it to say you can't help with this."
I scrubbed a hand over my face and went to brush my teeth. Oisin joined me and we both crawled into bed under a weighted silence. I pulled him close and made him the little spoon, just so he would understand—I might be pissed at him, but that didn't mean I stopped loving him. Never that.
I was a gryphon after all. We didn't just give up when things got a little hard.
He relaxed against me with a sigh. "Do you think Con is ever coming to bed?" he asked after a time. It was kind of sweet, the way he was wanting to have his new family close to him because he was feeling insecure.
I laughed. "And leave his two new best friends to fend for themselves in this big scary old house? No way." The man's caring nature was as ingrained as Oisin's lying and artifice.
I could hear muffled laughter from outside the bedroom door. When we left them, our three roommates were in the T.V. room and Con was trying to convince Kaimana she needed to learn how to play Monopoly if she wanted to learn to fit in here in the free world. He was lecturing Hisashi about not using his psychometry to cheat when I called it a night.
I kissed Oisin's bare shoulder. "You could always go play Monopoly with them if you're not sleepy. It would give you a chance to get to know Hisashi better," I teased.
He snorted. "That's all I need. One more do-gooder in my business."
I combed a hand through his hair sympathetically. "Poor fae. It must be difficult, being so alluring no one will leave you alone."
He elbowed me. "It must be difficult being a gryphon too. All that nosy insistence on truth and valor. Sounds exhausting if you ask me."
I held him while we teased each other, conscious the whole time of the secrets he was keeping but unwilling to just let him go so he could hide in a corner somewhere like a wounded animal. "You realize," I said after a time, feeling sleepiness dragging at me. "You haven't made a single bad innuendo this entire night."
His back shook against my chest with silent laughter. "This is nice too," he said softly.
"Mmm," I agreed, shifting him closer and wrapping myself around him like a blanket.
We would be okay. We had to be. I couldn't stand it if my new family started breaking apart with lies the way my previous one had.