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When Oisin's glare turned to me, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared right back. "Oh, come off it, Oisin. Tell me what's really the matter. I know you aren't disappointed Hisashi is making himself at home."
The fae swirled his keyring around a slender finger as he cautiously paced toward me. "I'm torn," he said, flicking his eyes toward the direction Hisashi had disappeared. "You know I don't want him in any danger. Hell, I don't want you in danger either. And my simply breathing means danger for anyone I grow attached to."
I held out my arms. "Just come here already, fae."
He hesitated for a moment, tilting his head. "What did he say to you?" I could feel the anger and accusation coloring his words.
"Calm down," I said, wiggling my fingers in a "come here" motion like I was beckoning to a cat. "He only said he was worried. And that you think for some reason I would stop loving your snarky ass. As if that is even possible with all the fae glamour and magic you've cast on me."
He snorted and stepped closer. "Your attraction to me is nothing but my natural allure. Magic has nothing to do with it." He tilted his perfect nose.
I suppressed a smile and batted my eyelashes, trying my best to simper. "I don't know..." I said slowly. "Are you sure about that? I mean, gryphons are only attracted to big, strong, alpha males. And I wouldn't want to do anything that wasn't in line with my stereotype. Also, I'm a girl, so you're probably right about me not being able to handle whatever icky, scary things are in your past."
He smiled at me with is sharp canines on display and no glamour. I knew that look. It was the look he wore when he was about to gut someone. "Are you accusing me of stupidly underestimating you?"
I shrugged. "If the curly-toed elf shoe fits...."
He heaved a sigh. "Do we have to do this?"
I held my ground. "Yes. You would think with those big 'ol ears of yours you would have better hearing. Since you are apparently deaf and slow, I will repeat myself. But you know how much I hate emoting, so you better damned well listen this time. I love you. That means all of you. Not just the pretty parts." I gestured grandly at him. "Okay, your turn. This is the part where you stop hiding for once."
He ran a hand through his hair, destroying the long braid and tearing little wisps free to hang about his face. "Gesa I don't...for fuck's sake. Now?"
I nodded, trying to pretend seeing him struggle wasn't breaking my heart at little. "Right now. Right here. Go."
He slumped, dropping into one of the dining room chairs. I followed, sitting across from him when my gryphon demanded I go to him and hold him like a beautiful, broken child.
"You know I'm not...a good person," he said, leaning his arms on the table and tilting his head down to hide his eyes. "Why do you want to know about my past?"
I reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Because it is obviously driving you crazy right now, idiot." When his eyes met mine, demanding the truth, I grumbled. "And because I can't fucking protect you if I don't know what to protect you from."
He gave a wry laugh. "Gryphons."
I shrugged. I was the way I was. No point in denying it.
"Gesa, you can't protect me, certainly not from the past, from things that already happened long before you were even born." His soft voice was serious but resigned. He knew I was going to try anyway.
"Don't care," I said firmly. "Lay it on me."
He glared. "Gesa, just drop it for fuck's sake."
I shook my head and glared right back. "No. A little bird told me that whatever you're hiding, you're afraid it will scare me away. You're wrong. That's just damned stupid." I arched a brow at him. "But you know what will drive me away? You keeping secrets from me. I won't tolerate lies—not when it matters, Oisin. I got enough of that shit back in my clan."
He huffed, but I could tell by the way the corners of his mouth pinched, that dart had hit its mark. He knew what my clan's lies meant to me.
He sat back, pulling his hand from mine, staring over my shoulder with that distant look I knew meant he was reliving something that had happened so long ago it was incomprehensible to most creatures. "I had siblings," he said, surprising me. "They were...fae, of course, so I can't say they were kind or good. But they were my family. I loved them, in my own way."
I kept quiet, feeling he needed to get this out without my interrupting. This level of sharing was so foreign coming from him. I didn't want to interrupt and break the spell.
"I killed them," he said calmly. "Murdered them in cold blood as if it meant nothing. I slit Daemon's throat." His face showed no emotion, but his voice wavered, ever so slightly. "I stabbed Gloriana through the heart with an iron dagger. I broke little Daffid's neck like it was a bundle of twigs. I can still feel the sensation. The crunching under my fingers." He tossed a laugh in there for good measure. "I can hardly stand the sound of crunching potato chips and cracking knuckles to this day."
I didn't buy into his lack of emotion. My throat was dry and my eyes watered. I swallowed hard and tried to mimic his complacent tone, but I failed miserably. My voice as raw with shock and pity. "Oh Oisin, why?"
He took a deep breath. "My father. Why else? I watched him. Either he didn't know I was there, hidden behind the tapestry of the tree of life that hung on their bedroom wall—or he knew, and he didn't care. I watched him use mage magic to drain my mother's power from her body. She screamed and fought. But she couldn't win. It destroyed her soul and left her mad and broken, like a defective doll. He grew younger, stronger. She wasted away within days, which, honestly was a blessing after what he did to her mind."
I wanted to reach for him again, but I knew he wouldn't let me. His green eyes came back to the present, and they seared into me. I could almost feel the horror and pain he must have felt. And the desperation. I thought I knew where this story was going. And I didn't want to hear it. But I told him I would love him all. So that meant carrying this with him.
"He was planning to drain us all. Over time. I think he only bred more children so he would have a steady supply over the years as his magic waned. But you can't hallow out a vessel that's already empty."
I shook my head, but he kept going. "They knew. Daemon came to me and begged me. He didn't want our father to continue to live for eons on stolen power. But no one was strong enough to stop him. So... we took away his power source."
He turned his graceful hands palms-up on the table, curling and uncurling his fingers. "I was the oldest. I'm not sure what he was saving me for, or why he decided to sell me now, when he's hoarded my power for so long. But I took responsibility for the others. I spied on him. I found out when he impregnated a new, unsuspecting fae woman. I tried to keep the children safe. And every time, I failed.
So, I killed them before he could use them and turn them into empty shells. Daemon and Gloriana at least begged me to do it. But Daffid...." He paused to press his lips together, fighting the emotions I could see swimming in his eyes. "He was only a child. Explaining to him how evil the world was before I took him from it seemed even more cruel. So, I read him a story and stroked his golden curls until he was asleep. Then I broke his neck. It was swifter than any poison I could think of. And I couldn't stand the thought of taking a blade to him."
I ignored the tears that were flowing down my cheeks like a river. "Fuck, Oisin."
He looked at me and his own eyes were overflowing. I'd never seen him cry. Hell, I'd never seen him sad. Or hurt. Or afraid. I stood and finally did what my gryphon was screaming for me to do. I rounded the table and dropped to my knees, pulling him into a fierce hug. "Gods, fae. No one should ever have to...I'll fucking murder your father. And your whole clan for letting this happen."
He was rigid in my arms at first, then he slowly relaxed, collapsing against me. "They don't know," he whispered. "The clan just thinks he's this all-powerful being. And no one is strong enough to speak up against him, so even if they suspect, they say nothing."
I pulled back, gripping his shoulders and giving him a shake. "Except you. How long? How long have you fought him, all alone?"
He clenched his jaw, the lean muscles of his cheeks flexing with the force of it. "Five hundred years. Every time he managed to mate with another strong fae and sire a child, I was there, waiting to foil his plans. He's turned to draining lower class fae, which I couldn't stop. But he's not had royal power to boost him since my mother."
I shook my head. "No more. We will stop this asshole. No matter what favors we have to call in."
He stared at me as I stroked his hair back from his face. "You...aren't repulsed?" he whispered.
I frowned at him. "By the sperm donor who calls himself your father? Fuck yes, I'm repulsed. I'm so pissed I can barely stay human right now." My claws kept wanting to shoot out from my fingers, my gryphon demanding we protect our mate.
Oisin laughed, the soft wheeze building to a full body event that left his eyes watering as my fae held his stomach. "Gods, Gesa," he wheezed. "Seriously?"
I tilted my head. What the hell was wrong with him now? "What?"
He cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes as his laughter fizzled. "I'm positively dripping in blood and sins, you foolish beast. I murdered my own family. And I've been too weak to stop this monster from existing, too proud to end my own life, so in the end he will probably use my power to live another thousand years. And you act as if nothing has changed."
I shook my head at his idiocy and covered his hands with mine. "Because nothing has changed, you ass. Are you still not listening to me?" I reached up to tug lightly at one of his pointed ears.
He pressed his forehead to mine. "I don't deserve your loyalty and devotion, beautiful beast," he whispered. "But Gods, I am selfish enough to be glad for it."
I laughed and kissed him on the forehead. "See," I said, sitting back on my heels. "Was that so damned hard?"
He grinned at me and everything was right in my world. "Oh, no, not hard at all. I love sharing every painful horror I've ever lived. This was fun. Would you like me to tell you about the times I rode in the wild hunt under my father's compulsion? Maybe I could tell you about fairy circles some time."
I clapped a hand over his wicked mouth. "Some other time."
He licked my hand and I drew away to wipe it on my jeans. "Eew. Now that was repulsive."