Shyness sweeps through me at the hunger in Axel’s eyes. They’re bottomless, black pools of desire edged in a want so strong, my blood heats.
For a man who conceals his thoughts and swallows his words, the naked appreciation he feels for me bowls me over. It’s intense and sexy and desperate enough to make me need him.
His keys clink against the countertop as he purposefully places them down. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t move quicker. No, he continues to watch me, study me, his eyes as probing as they are caressing.
I work a swallow and shuffle back half a step. God, I want his onslaught. My toes curls in my strappy silver heels. I want it and yet…am I ready for a man like Axel?
Hell fucking yes, my head screams. But my heart does a stutter step because he’s a life changer. Deep down, I know it as surely as I know my own name.
Axel Daire could ruin me. He’s the man who can dash away my insecurities. Who can banish the thoughts that plague my mind. He’s the man who can give me the whole I’m searching for, but if he backs away, if it doesn’t work out between us, the hole he’ll leave will be a damn crater.
He tilts his neck to the side. His hand, large and calloused, rests palm down on the countertop. “We don’t have to do anything.”
I lick my bottom lip. “I want to.”
The corner of his mouth tugs up in that half-smile I love even though I don’t fully understand it. Don’t fully understand him. “You sure? Tell me what you’re thinking, Mais.”
“You’re too big for me,” I blurt out the words, wincing as soon as they hit the air.
Axel snickers. A sound I hear so rarely, it makes me smile.
“I didn’t mean big—” I backpedal, staring right at his package, which is more impressive then Benoit’s. I lick my lips again.
“No?” he taunts, his eyes flashing.
“I mean, you are—”
Another snicker. His hand slips off the countertop. He steps toward me, deliberate.
I hold my ground, forcing myself to meet his eyes.
“You could break me, Axel. Emotionally. You could destroy me.”
His hand cups my cheek, angling my face upward. “What if you destroy me first, Mais?” His breath fans over my lips, teasing.
“Not possible.”
“Trust me, beautiful. It’s not only possible, but likely.”
I tip my head back farther, catching his eyes. He never lets down his guard. He’s never vulnerable and yet, right now, Axel is baring himself completely.
“We don’t have to do anything,” he repeats. Another intentional step.
I move backward, my back pressing into the wall. “I want to. Really,” I add, my hand closing around the wrist that holds my face. “I want to. Just…”
He lifts his eyebrows, waiting.
“Don’t break my heart, Axe.”
“Never,” he growls. Then, his mouth lands on mine. Axel kisses me like a starving man. Desperate for a connection, for a physical touch. His kiss is commanding and deep. It knocks me off-balance and all I can do to keep up with him is hold on and fall into it.
I part my lips and his tongue delves inside, meeting mine in strong, certain strokes. Like everything he does, even his kisses are intentional.
Axel presses his hard body against mine and I melt, a groan ripping from my throat.
His breathing hitches and before I realize what he’s doing, he’s lifted me up and pinned me in place against the wall, his strong erection lined up with my core, his big palm supporting my ass.
“Wait—” Put me down, I want to shriek. I’m not the tiny, petite woman men toss over their shoulders. Or pin against hallway walls. “I’m too heavy.”
Axel pauses for a moment, searching my eyes. Whatever he reads causes a swear to color the air between us. “You’ve never been with a real man, sweetheart. Let me show you how it’s done.” His voice is raspier, grittier than I’ve ever heard it. He grinds his erection against me, and I moan, my eyes closing, my head falling back against the wall.
“That’s it; I got you,” he says softly. Then, his lips are on my neck, his hand is in my hair, and I lose all the inhibitions I had a moment ago.
Axel’s mouth moves over my skin like he’s committed to making this moment my sexual awakening. I’ve been with men, from high school to now, but none of them made me feel like a goddess in mere minutes.
Axel’s hand cups my breast and I arch into him, my nipple poking through the lace of my bra and thin material of my shirt. He presses into me, and my hips tilt up to meet him.
“You sure, Maisy?”
“Please,” I whimper.
With a movement so smooth, I don’t see it coming, he spins me away from the wall and carries me, like it’s nothing, to his bedroom. He places me down gently and his eyes find mine in the moonlight streaming through his windows.
His expression is severe. Solemn. I know that as big as this moment is for me, he feels the same way. It’s humbling, to know Axel trusts me as much as I trust him.
His hands hitch around the band of my skirt and I lift my hips as he rolls it down my body. His eyes snag on the creamy lace between my thighs and his lips part. He reaches forward slowly, shifting the material to the side and dragging two fingers through my folds.
I close my eyes, the slightest touch igniting my body. Nerves coil deep in my belly, my heart races, blood pumping in my ears.
Axel shifts my panties back in place and my eyes pop open in time to watch him suck my arousal off his fingers. “Sweet as you.”
I gulp, my mouth dropping open.
“We’ll get there,” he promises, moving over my body like a panther, smooth and steady.
I reach for the button on his pants. He drags the straps of my blouse off my shoulders. My skin heats under his touch and his body rolls over mine. He undresses me slowly. When I’m in my thong and strapless bra, I shift onto my knees, face him, and reach out.
I drag the hem of his shirt up his torso, my core clenching, wanting, as his abs appear. When his shirt clears his head, I trace his pecs, my fingertips featherlight as I explore his smooth skin, his coiled strength.
He sucks in a breath but holds still, letting me have this moment. It’s sensual, intensifying my need while also bringing me unknown pleasure. Who knew this—gentle touching, sweet kisses—could feel so erotic?
I place a kiss to the side of Axel’s neck and he snaps, springing toward me like a leopard and laying me out beneath him.
“My turn,” he explains before dipping his head and pulling my breast into his mouth, lapping and licking until my thighs clench together. I’m needy for release and if I wasn’t so comfortable with him, I’d be embarrassed by how quickly he worked me up.
As if sensing my need, Axel moves down my body. “Not yet,” he mutters before his face disappears between my thighs.
“Axel.” I buck off the bed, about to come from one taste alone.
“You’re so fucking sexy, Maisy,” he mutters before dragging his tongue over my clit again.
I moan, loudly. Honestly. “That’s how you make me feel,” I warble, admitting the truth.
His heavy hand slides up my body and tweaks my breast. “Always.” He sucks gently. “You should always feel like a fucking goddess.”
I shatter against his tongue as his words wrap around me. More than his words is the sincerity, the absolute certainty, with which he says them.
He yanks my underwear off the tops of my thighs and loses his boxers. His erection springs free and I groan because it’s fucking massive. “You’re huge.”
He chuckles. “You said that already.”
“Yeah but…holy shit.” My thighs clench together, desperate for the sweet relief Axel can provide.
Axel’s fingers sweep along my cheek. “I got you, Maisy.”
My hand darts out and curls along his shaft, pumping his long length.
He swears but holds still. “Not gonna last long if you keep touching me like that.”
I let out a shaky breath and lay back, positioning myself beneath him. He rolls on a condom and lines up at my entrance.
His eyes hold mine. For a moment, we drown in each other. Our eyes convey all the words, all the meaning, all the things we haven’t yet said. Then, Axel pushes into me, and I moan, arching upward.
“Fuck, you’re incredible,” I cry out, stretching to accommodate him.
He snorts. “Got nothing on you, beautiful.”
He stills. I smile.
Then, he begins to move, and I clutch at him, gripping his arms as he rocks into me, slow, steady, and sure. Axel brings us to the peak of pure ecstasy and when I cry out again, he follows close behind me. Both of us tumbling down into the gentle touches and sweet kisses of each other.
It’s more sensual than any experience I’ve ever had. It’s more meaningful than any time before him. It’s the most honest sexual moment of my life.
“Thank you, Axel,” I mutter into his neck as he holds me against his chest.
“Shh.” His fingers stroke my back. “Me and you, we’re just beginning, Maisy. This is only the start.”
I smile against his warm skin and fall asleep in his arms, wishing I could stay there forever.
“How’d you sleep?” Axel’s morning voice is raspy. It hits me right between my thighs, still sore from our night together.
I roll over, smiling when his face comes into view. “I like your bed.”
He smiles. Smiles! One of those rare moments when his face opens up like a sail catching wind. It’s glorious. “I like you in my bed.” He swipes his mouth over mine. “I’m gonna try to keep you here.”
“I’m in,” I say. Although my tone is light, my meaning isn’t. As far as Axel’s concerned, I’m all in. I want to wake up in his bed, hold his hand, and feel his giant body move over mine every damn day for the rest of my life.
Glorious.
“Breakfast?” he asks.
“Coffee.”
“And that.” Axel moves from the bed, taking a moment to flip the sheet over my naked breasts. “Don’t want you cold.”
I smile at his thoughtfulness and watch his broad shoulders and fine ass as he tugs on a pair of sweats and makes his way into the kitchen.
On the nightstand, my phone beeps with an incoming message. It’s probably Mila wondering why the hell I ghosted her last night. I bite my inner cheek to keep from laughing. I know as soon as I tell her the real reason, she’s going to be as excited as I am.
I stretch my arms overhead, enjoying the jelly feel of my limbs. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. It was the most intimate, raw connection I’ve shared with a man. Axel’s eyes held mine captive, drawing out emotions I’ve kept locked up, coaxing out wanton moans I never thought I’d make in the presence of a man.
Sex with Axel made me realize just how paltry my sexual encounters have been. Unsatisfying. Until this weekend, I’ve had more fun with my vibrator than with a man. I used to wonder if there was something wrong with me but now, to my greatest relief, I realize it was the men I’ve been with.
Selfish lovers.
But Axel is the most generous man I’ve ever known.
My phone beeps again and I swipe it up, my eyes scanning the screen.
Missy: Mom and Dad are having Sunday dinner next week. Mom’s going to call you later today but please come.
I frown, trying to read the subtext. My parents host a family Sunday dinner one or two times a month, and while I always do my best to show up, I can’t make every dinner. But Missy rarely begs me to make an appearance.
A flicker of unease runs through me. Did something happen with Dad’s job? Is Mom sick? Is—
Missy: Brennan’s parents are coming too!
Ah, I laugh. Missy and Brennan have been together for two years and while our parents know each other, they haven’t consolidated Sunday dinners.
Me: Meet the families already? This is getting serious.
Missy: (Three Engagement Ring Emojis)
My mouth drops open. I adore Brennan but Missy is so young, and they don’t need to rush into anything.
Me: You think?
Missy: I hope.
Me: EEP!
Missy: Next Sunday?
Me: Be there. Promise.
Missy: LOVE YOU
Me: YOU MORE
I drop my phone next to me and rest my head on the pillow, staring up at Axel’s ceiling fan. It whirs slowly, lazy and gentle, like a breeze in the Deep South on a hot summer day.
Missy might get engaged. Married. A strange tension radiates over my shoulder blades, pulling at the center of my spine, at the thought. My stomach knots and a horrible thought invades my mind.
Am I jealous? Of my baby sister?
No. I’m just…worried. She’s only twenty-three and…and I thought I’d be married by twenty-three.
My parents were high school sweethearts. They made long-distance work throughout college, married their senior year, and had me the following spring. Missy came along five years later and by the time my mom was my age, she was married, a homeowner, with two sweet daughters in dresses and bows.
I’m twenty-eight and until last night, never had a decent orgasm that wasn’t self-induced. It’s not that I’m not happy for Missy, because I am. She’s my sister and she deserves a beautiful life with the man of her dreams. Deep down, I know that man is Brennan.
It’s just that she’s following the path I always envisioned for myself and I’m…pathless. Still talking about a fun move to Costa Rica the way I have been since college, thwarting off questions about my lack of a serious relationship. My lack of a fulfilling career. My lack of a certain future.
Can I have that with Axel? The man is nothing if not purposeful. He’s an overthinker, an overanalyzer and yet…he hasn’t hinted at anything permanent between us. Just not casual.
It’s too early, my mind screams at me. You’re supposed to be enjoying this. This is the fun part!
Isn’t this the part I wished and waited for? The sleepless nights wrapped up in strong arms? Days filled with fun plans out or lounging around, together. There’s no tension with Axel the way there was with Josh. I don’t need to walk on eggshells around him or guard my thoughts.
He swears as he drops a pan in the kitchen. If I didn’t receive Missy’s message, I’d be out there right now, helping him make breakfast. That’s what I should be doing.
Blowing out a sigh, I swing my legs to the edge of the bed and stand. Taking in the rumpled sheets and tossed pillows, I remind myself that last night was glorious. And today will be too, if I don’t ruin it with my sour thoughts.
Missy deserves every happiness the same way I do. Why shouldn’t I try to find that with Axel?
I open one of his drawers and pull out a Bolts T-shirt. Slipping it over my head, I love that it hits me mid-thigh, hanging loose around my middle. Only a man like Axel could make me feel dainty and feminine.
Only Axel has made me feel sexy.
Right now, I need to focus on that. Cherish it.
“You need some help?” I ask as I clear his bedroom and step into the kitchen.
He turns and grins, his bare chest more appetizing than the delicious scent of freshly brewed coffee. “What do you think?”
“You look good in the kitchen.”
He snorts and reaches for me, picking me up and setting me on the countertop. Making me feel as weightless as a feather. Some of my doubts from a few minutes ago disappear in his presence.
“You look better in my kitchen,” he muses, frying up some eggs. “But I sure like cooking for you, Maisy.”
I smile and when he passes in front of me, my legs dart out, wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer.
He chuckles, coming to stand between my thighs. He plants his big hands down, one on each side of my hips, and stares straight into my eyes, all the way down to my soul and the insecure, nagging thoughts that live there.
Then, he kisses me. Soft and reverent. Sweet. He kisses me like he knows I need the reassurance. He gives it, him, so freely that the backs of my eyes burn.
“How do you always know what I need?” I whisper when he pulls away.
“I’m observant.” He turns off the stove and plates our eggs.
“It’s more than that.” I hop off the counter, grabbing the forks and napkins.
He stops in his tracks and stares at me. “I care about you, Maisy.”
His words are as soothing as they are thrilling. “You’re the most honest man I know.”
He shakes his head, a sadness entering his gaze. “You need to raise your bar.”
I laugh but he doesn’t smile. Instead, he balances our plates in one hand and takes mine in the other, bringing me to the table.
Then, we sit and eat breakfast like a real couple. And everything from this morning, from Missy’s messages, fade away. Instead, I live in the now and it’s fucking glorious.