This book would not have been possible without the patience and understanding (always attempted, often achieved) of my husband and children. I spent many weekends writing in hotels because my home is such a place of peace and contentment that I found it impossible, under its roof, to evoke the feelings and memories I wanted to convey. I want to thank them, as well, for their perpetual support of my need for transparency—my mission to eliminate shame and stigma has often exposed them as well, and they’ve remained by my side . . . often without complaint. Ha! Kidding. They’re my biggest fans.
I want it to be perfectly clear that nothing in this book is intended as an indictment of the people and events that occurred. The sharing of those events was for the sole purpose of conveying the depths and extent of my own issues, and the impact of the shame of mental illness on my daily life experiences. In fact, many of those people and events contributed to my survival and eventual ability to get help, for which I am truly indebted to them.
I want to thank Ermine Cunningham, Linda Lowen, Laurel McHargue, and Marcia Hafner, tasked not only with reading an unedited manuscript but reading this unedited manuscript.
Your feedback was invaluable. Thank you as well to the mother-daughter team of Ellen Yeomans and Alex Arnold, whose insights brought the manuscript back to life after it had gotten comfortable on a shelf. My parents, my brothers, my sister, my amazing friends—you’ve watched me live with the issues in this book and you love me anyway. Thank you for that. And you supported my need to bring them to light . . . thank you for that as well.
My agent, Dana Newman, and Nancy Schenck, Valerie Killeen, and Daniel Kaelin at CRP—your belief in the value of my story gave me a sense of validation that I couldn’t seem to give myself. Thank you.