Brynleigh
I couldn’t help but be nervous, so damn nervous that my hands were shaking and I had to sit on them to keep them still. I felt Rebekah looking at me, and knew she had things to say, but she stayed silent, maybe too afraid to say anything.
Finally, because I couldn’t sit still any longer, I stood and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard and started rifling through to see if I could find coffee, tea bags, or even hot chocolate. At this point, I’d take just about anything.
The cupboards were pretty empty, aside from the few things Rooney had bought in town today. But pushed way back in the cupboard, I found a bottle of whiskey. It was dusty and I didn’t know if Rebekah drank alcohol, but I figured after the day we’d had, we both needed something to take the edge off.
I poured both of us a decent amount of whiskey, set the bottle aside, and grabbed the mugs, turning and heading back toward her. She was sitting on the love seat, her legs pulled up underneath her bottom, her hands in her lap as she twisted her fingers together.
She tried to be strong, but I could see she was just as scared and nervous as I was.
“I’m not a drinker,” I said. “But I know the older the whiskey the better it is.” I shrugged. “Besides, I figured we both could use something to help ease the fucking stress.”
She took the offered cup and smiled. I went back to my seat, and for long moments we didn’t speak. I took a long sip from the mug, the whiskey strong and burning as I swallowed. I tried not to cough because I didn’t want to seem like a novice, but when Rebekah started coughing instead, I looked over at her.
Her eyes were watering, and she started laughing.
“Can you tell I don’t drink?”
I started chuckling.
Soon both of us were laughing hysterically.
Maybe we were broken.
Maybe everything that had happened so far had finally taken away our sanity.
When I finally sobered, I took another drink of whiskey, which I thought was kind of ironic in a sense.
After a few drinks, the alcohol didn’t burn as much, but the flush I started to feel took over my body, relaxing me, making me feel like maybe this wasn’t the end of the world.
Right now, I was feeling pretty good, but once the alcohol wore off, I knew I’d be right back in hell.
“Did Venom tell you about the situation we’re in, with Vincenzo and the club and all that shit?” I looked over at Rebekah to see her already watching me. She held her mug on her lap, her finger tracing over the rim.
She didn’t answer for long seconds, and I wondered if she was thinking about what to say.
“He told me the bare minimum, which is what I prefer. I don’t want to know anything, to be honest. I just want to live my life oblivious of all the violence and drama that comes with being involved with an MC.” She exhaled, almost as if she were tired of it all. “But that’s my life.”
I played through what she’d said in my mind. “Do you think about leaving it behind? If it’s so bad, can you just walk away?” I wasn’t trying to be snarky, but genuinely wondering if she didn’t like the situation, why she stayed.
She smiled, but it was distant, kind of sad. “I can’t leave,” she said softly. “Not because I don’t want to, but because I love Venom too much to walk away from him.” She looked at me then, her smile filled with so much more now. “He is my life, and the circumstances surrounding him, of how we got together, certainly aren’t a fairytale, but they’re my reality.” She took a long drink from her cup as she stared at the fire. “We’re in this together, for the long haul, and no matter what, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
I thought about what she said for long moments, knowing that was how I felt about Rooney. I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to, although a part of me wished he and I could just run away together, forget all the shit that was being thrown our way.
But this was his life, his world. And because I loved him, because we were connected from our past, present, and hopefully future, I couldn’t step away from this … from him.
“And I can see from your expression, you’re probably feeling the same way I am,” Rebekah said, and I lifted my gaze to her.
I hadn’t realized how long I’d been silent, but it was clear she’d seen what I’d been thinking in my expression.
Before I could respond, the sound of footsteps on the porch had both of us standing. Rooney and Venom had left us guns, and we both held them. It’s not like I knew how to use one, but Rooney had shown me the basics before he’d left.
Take the safety off.
Aim.
Shoot the hell out of someone trying to hurt me.
A second later the front door opened and in walked Rooney and Venom. I felt the tension leave me, and a sigh escape.
I looked over at Rebekah and saw she had been just as frightened as I was, but now looked relieved. Then Venom walked over to Rebekah and instantly pulled her into his arms. He said something softly to her and she nodded, smiling and resting her head on his chest.
I couldn’t deny the fact that I was a little bit jealous of their relationship. Because that’s what I wanted with Rooney, what I had wanted for a long time.
Despite what had happened, everything we’d been through, or maybe it was because of all of that, I wanted to be honest. Finally. Maybe now more than ever I needed to tell Rooney how I felt.