Gracie had always been a good cook and this year’s Christmas Day luncheon was no exception.
Steven’s cottage was cosily warm and quaint. All the windows were leaded, and the rooms had low ceilings and cream-painted walls. Stable doors with latches, exposed floorboards and a roaring log burner took Marjorie back to another era, one of more time-honoured values. The kitchen had tiled backsplashes, traditional cupboards and with a cream Everhot range cooker, instead of the gleaming glass and the stark shininess of today’s modern kitchens. It felt much more welcoming. The two bedrooms upstairs had four-poster beds, cream carpets and restful views of the surrounding countryside. Sparrows and robins tweeted each morning and Marjorie had even seen a badger early one evening! It was wonderful here and the peace and quiet was a welcome retreat for her.
It was going to be a very quiet Christmas for just the three of them but Marjorie was quite happy about that too. The year had already had more than its fair share of troubles and excitement for everyone, as far as she was concerned. But if you’d asked her a year ago how she thought her year would pan out, she wouldn’t have had an inkling that, by now, she’d have had more friends and adventures than she could count on one hand!
‘I must say, Gracie, that was absolutely delicious,’ Marjorie said putting her knife and fork together and patting her tummy after she’d finished her Christmas meal of sticky maple carrots and parsnips, Brussels sprouts (of course!) with cranberries and almonds, mashed and roast potatoes with plum jam gravy, perfect with their roast Norfolk turkey.
‘Figgy pudding with vanilla custard and a dollop of cream, Marjorie? Your amazing daughter’s handicraft, of course,’ said Steven, grinning.
‘Oh, gosh yes, please,’ Marjorie had said.
Oh, it was grand to be spoiled rotten!
They’d already pulled the crackers and giggled over the contents and wore their silver paper crowns, when next came the gifts. They’d cleared the table and sat nursing coffees. Marjorie handed hers out first.
‘Well, this is just what it looks like. It’s a stack of vouchers, tied up in a bow! I had no idea what to get you both so I thought if I got this lot you could decide what to do with them. So there’s lots of different ones, like Mothercare, for when the baby arrives and John Lewis and garden centre ones, so you can go have fun buying lots of different things for your new life together!’
‘Oh, that’s a wonderful idea, Marjorie. Thank you so much,’ Steven gushed, leaning forward to kiss both her cheeks. Gracie gave her mother a big hug and whispered, ‘Thanks, Mum!’
‘And because you told us about the spa treat you got for Dora, our Christmas gift to you is a three-day spa break at Ragdale for you and I, in March. It’s a bit of mother and daughter time together before everything to do with babies, weddings and babysitting comes crashing down on us all!’
Marjorie burst into tears, at the thought of special time alone with Gracie, once again, but they were happy tears. ‘Oh, Gracie, Steven, that’s perfect, thank you so much! I’m really thrilled with that. It’ll be lovely. Happy Christmas!’
***
Stacy had never cooked a turkey before. Fortunately, John had. So they’d cooked the turkey together, Tibs meowing gently between the two of them, welcoming any titbits that came his way.
This time, Stacy’s mother and father knew Peter and Marvin were coming around for Christmas dinner and no words of detriment passed anyone’s lips. Stacy’s mother had asked them to go to theirs for Christmas but Stacy had privately balked at that idea. No way; not there. Not there, ever again, as far as she was concerned. She’d put old ghosts to rest and was done with the place. Too depressing and she was sure there’d be no background music or joy. Would there even be a tree? Nope, she’d wait until her parents moved into their new place before she graced their door with a happy-families visit. There was too much hurt wrapped up in the old place. She wanted to live her life, going forward, with brightness and laughter. So she’d invited them to hers, on the understanding that they were aware she’d invited Peter and Marvin. The boys were going to Bella’s for Boxing Day.
And because Stacy had never had a big Christmassy family gathering before, John had bought her a huge tree and together they’d dressed it with hundreds of shiny baubles, tinsel, Christmassy bunting and draped it with coloured lanterns. Their theme for Christmas: a riot of colours and cinnamon smells to assault the senses! Christmas carols were serenading from an iPad in the background. John had got two extra chairs for her table and, once everyone had arrived – full of Christmas cheer – John handed pre-dinner drinks out. He asked to speak to Jerry privately before they all enthusiastically sat down, to tuck into their turkey roast.
‘Wow this looks delish, sister-in-law-to-be!’
‘Brussels or carrots anyone?’ said Stacy’s father. Marvin put his hand up and Jerry passed him the serving bowl with a smile. No cringing or scowling blighted his face these days, Stacy was relieved to note.
Stacy didn’t recognise her father now. He’d even given her a long hug at the door and told her he loved her for bringing everyone together! Was that him talking or were those her mother’s words? Her mother said she thought it was the casting off of his farm duties now it was up for sale.
‘It’s like he’s opening his eyes to life and taking a step back to consider his actions for once. I think the farm got him down. But I feel as though I’ve got a new man! So our future certainly looks a lot rosier than it used to. I, for one, can’t wait to move into a bright new home. I might even get Marvin to cast his eye over the one we finally settle on. We’ve already started looking at properties.’
After the pudding came the crackers, the paper hats and before each person handed out gifts and an outpouring of love and thanks for their meals, John stood up.
‘Now I know Stacy and I haven’t been together all that long, so thank you for welcoming me into your family enclave with complete acceptance and especially at Christmas – or are you frightened I’m going to book you for something later on, guys?’
Everybody giggled, nervously.
‘So anyway, another reason I’m pleased you’re all here today is because I’d like to ask for my wonderful girlfriend’s hand in marriage, if I may, Stacy?’ he said kneeling, taking a small velvet black box from his pocket, opening it and offering the solitaire diamond ring to Stacy.
Peter and Stacy gasped. Stacy’s mother shot a glance at her husband. How would he react to this latest shock? Stacy’s hand shot to her face in embarrassment, as Tibs curled round her ankles, meowing.
‘Aye, well,’ said Stacy’s father. ‘John asked me earlier if I’d be accepting of his proposal and I told him I’m totally accepting of it. She’s a wonderful lass, our Stacy, as you all know here. She’s woken us all up and put our family back together again and for that I think we’re all very grateful. And I want to apologise to my children, on behalf of my wife and myself, for upsetting the applecart back in the day. We gave the farm more importance than the two of you. I’m sincerely sorry about that. But we’re very proud of you both and your accomplishments. And I’m, er, I’m okay now about the forthcoming marriage of my boy to his young man, too. I’d like to come to the wedding if I may and I’m sorry for all the arguments I’ve caused, in that respect, too.’
‘Wow! Thanks, man,’ said Marvin, hoarsely, taking hold of Peter’s hand under the table. ‘That means a lot to us.’
Jerry glanced back at John and Stacy.
‘So yes, John, I’m happy for you to be marrying my daughter, if she’s happy to be accepting of your proposal. God bless you both.’
Stacy could not speak. Tears clouded her vision whilst she was trying to digest what was going on around her. And her father’s amazing speech? She realised those were his own words, since no one – least of all her – had had an inkling about John’s proposal! Oh, but her parents’ final acceptance and acknowledgement of both herself and Peter was like a breath of fresh air into her soul. Peter was looking down, she noticed, sniffing back tears? He’d only ever wanted his own acceptance, too, of course. And now they’d been given it. It was simply too much to take in …
But now John was taking the diamond solitaire out of the tiny black box and holding it out in front of her.
‘So, Stacy Ann-Marie Phillips, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
***
Simon held his glass, full of red wine, high in front of them.
‘A toast!’
There was one of those small faux Christmas trees on the unit by the television with some red flashing lights and they’d just finished their crown of beef with carrots and mashed potatoes. Mince pies were waiting to be eaten on a plate in the middle of Simon’s table. There were no crackers, no tinsel, no background music.
‘So, Dad. Here’s to our second Christmas without Mum. But we have our memories, don’t we. Please don’t cry, Dad. I’m sad too. But she wouldn’t want us to be unhappy, would she.’
Raymond wiped his eyes. ‘N-no she wouldn’t, son. Well, okay then. Cheers to Mum! And thanks for having me for Christmas.’
They knocked their remaining wine back in large gulps and put the glasses down on the table. Simon offered his father another glass. Raymond shook his head and glanced at his son. He didn’t look his normal cheerful self. His flat was also in a state of disarray, with clothes everywhere and unwashed crockery in the sink. The crown of beef had come out of a box and the mashed potatoes had been powdered. Their Christmas wouldn’t have been like this if Dianne had still been alive.
‘Simon, how’re things with you these days? I mean, how’s work? And have you met anyone else yet, after the last one? You seem a bit low is all.’
Simon sighed and started to clear the table. ‘Well, to be honest, I don’t really know what to do about things now, Dad. You see, when Jo moved out and I sold up to split the proceeds when the divorce came through, I had to rent this flat because there wasn’t enough money left over for me to buy another property. And it’s been tight finding the rent because, well, there isn’t as much work at the post office as there used to be and I’ve, um, I’ve recently been put on part-time—’
‘So you’re struggling?’
Simon nodded. ‘But I don’t want you to worry because I’m thinking about moving away and looking for work someplace else, Dad. I’ve been around these parts all my life. Perhaps it’s time for me to try something else, now my girls are self-sufficient and my grandkids mainly do their own thing these days. I mean look at how your life has turned around since you started going to the community centre. Something like that might be just what I need to lift my own spirits.’
‘Hmm. Right, for one thing, I don’t want you to leave, son. I’ve already lost your mother so there’s no way you’re leaving the area. Look, now it’s just an idea this, but why don’t you move in with me for a while? It might be just what you need whilst you find a new job or get some money behind you. And then you can make a new start in your own good time. I’m sure we can work this out between us, Simon, can’t we? I mean, you’re always helping me out and I’d like to help you. Plus it would give me a bit of company, too. You know I’m lonely living in the bungalow by myself. At least have a think about it, before you up sticks and leave. What do you say?’
Simon mulled that thought over. ‘I remember you saying that was working out for your friend Marjorie and Dora?’
‘Yes, it worked well for them. Dora had fallen on some challenging times, too. Friends and family help each other out like that, don’t they? And, if it makes you feel any better, you can call it my Christmas gift to you, being as I haven’t had time to get you anything yet.’
Simon nodded slowly. ‘Well, I wouldn’t want to impose, Dad. I mean we’ve both got our own lives. But, you know, I think I’d like to do that for a few months. It would definitely help me out. So, yes, Dad. That’s a great idea. Thanks!’
***
It felt so strange to Dora. But it was a nice kind of strange!
Even though she’d been spending a lot of time with Lauren, as much time as she could with her amazing daughter she did not expect to be invited to Christmas lunch with her once-upon-a-time family that she had long thought would never happen. She was pleased her brother had been very sympathetic about her wanting to be with Lauren, this year, and missing out on their own usual Christmas family gathering, even though Yvonne was miffed about Dora’s intentions.
‘It’s understandable,’ said Stuart. ‘And think how amazing next year’s Christmas will be when all of our families collide for the same meal somewhere else!’
‘Well, I’m hoping that the somewhere else you’re referring to will be my new pad, when Marjorie has helped me kit it out, if you all fancy that?’
Stuart had nodded his approval and hugged his sister. ‘Have a great Christmas, sis. Ignore our dragon mother! You deserve this.’
Grandma Pat’s terraced house was a cosy home, festooned with streamers, a huge real tree with red and gold baubles, background Christmas jingles and moving white sparkly deer outside on the tiny lawn. It was like a magical grotto. She’d done it every year for them, apparently. She clearly adored her little family.
‘Come in. Come in,’ she’d welcomed when Dora arrived with a bottle of Champagne and gifts for all the family. They hugged on the doorstep. Lauren came whizzing up to them.
‘Mum! Mum, come and see what I’ve got this year! Oh, you’ve got us presents and we’ve got lots of presents for you, too!’
***
A few days previously Dora had met with Andy in a café and they’d had a long, heartfelt chat about the whole situation. Dora hadn’t been pleased with the way he’d duped their family into believing that she’d been the one to stray, which had resulted in making it near impossible to meet up with Lauren, before now. But she’d come halfway into understanding why he’d done it – so they could move on and look after Lauren whilst her mother was elsewhere. Their conversation hadn’t entirely settled Dora’s anxieties about other aspects of their relationship, either. But they’d agreed that the only thing that counted now was the way forward with Lauren.
Andy had offered to pick Dora up, and drop them at his mother’s house for their Christmas meal with Lauren, and Dora had accepted. It was a chilly, crisp morning when Andy knocked on Aunt Philippa’s door to collect Dora. And they drove in an awkward silence for the first half hour or so. But in the car, on the way to Grandma Pat’s, Andy had suddenly pulled into a layby.
‘I don’t know why you’re stopping,’ Dora said, her arms crossed, defensively. ‘There’s nothing else I want to say to you, Andy. We said what we needed to say. But I have to say I still can’t forgive you for lying to your mum and Lauren about me in that way. You completely screwed everything up, big time, you know.’
He’d taken hold of her hand.
‘I know that. But, Dee, you played your part too—’
‘Christ, where has this come from? How did I play any part in your cheating?’
‘Look, Dee, I don’t want to keep going over old ground, here, but you were depressed and clingy before the postnatal depression set in and I needed space. Now, like I keep saying, I was happy enough when you fell pregnant with Lauren and I was happy about us staying together for her. But because you were at home all day and didn’t interact with anyone else apart from Jodie, you just wanted me all to yourself when I came home from work.’
‘What? Isn’t that what a relationship is all about? Adults, at the end of the day, talking and being close to each other? And, yes, even living in each other’s pockets?’
‘It probably is, I’ve since learned. But back then, one of the reasons I originally left Kent to go travelling was because my last girlfriend was clingy. And what I liked about you was that you’d told me you needed that sort of space, too. To get away from your parents and their constraints, you told me. So I thought we were a match made in heaven! But when we got back to Kent you became clingier and I needed space to breathe. And, I’m sorry to say, when your postnatal depression was doing its absolute worst I felt rubbish and trapped. So – I’m sorry – but I did what I did.’
‘So you shagged someone because I was depressed and you needed space to breathe? What crap! I’d’ve understood it if you’d’ve just stormed off somewhere, rather than done that.’
Andy shook his head. ‘I guess it’s what men sometimes do.’
Dora studied him then. She’d doted on him – God! She’d loved and adored him. He was one of those men everyone fell for and he probably knew that. Some people emitted that kind of persona. But perhaps he didn’t view himself in that guise? It was clear to Dora he’d had his own insecurities that prevented him from having fulfilling relationships. Maybe that’s what had really ruined everything for them. There was clearly some issue with him forming deep, meaningful, loving relationships because Lauren had told her he’d never married anyone.
Dora shook her head and looked out the window at the wintry scene; there was no snow on the ground but it was icy underfoot.
Before all this, though, she’d long held secret fantasies of someday meeting up with him again and either taking her frustration out on him by battering him or dragging him back to bed for one last session, just to see if she was truly over him. She’d never met anyone who’d rocked her boat quite the way he’d rocked her boat, despite everything.
‘So have you found anyone else you can love and care for in the way you need to, then?’
‘No. I’ve had girlfriends, of course. You met Dariana that time. But you were the only one I thought I’d love being in love with and that’s why I was happy to go back to Kent when you got pregnant – to give us a try. Lauren and I still live there, as you know, but I have a bigger house now and I have my own estate agency business, too. But there’s currently no one in my life, apart from our girl. What about you?’
‘Well, sure, I met plenty of other men after you. But I couldn’t settle for anyone less than you. So I’ve actually been single for a very long time, too. But the best thing that’s happened to me of late is being reacquainted with our daughter. Before that the best thing that happened to me was that I made a whole squadron of new friends through the Afternoon Tea Club I’ve joined. Plus I’ve just bought a flat. So I’ve been learning about putting down proper roots for the first time in my life. And, I’m really happy about all of that. I’ve also just recently secured a part-time job doing managerial cover in a small hotel chain, which is perfect for me. So I can actually say I’ve finally found my place in life. But are you – do you feel complete, now, Andy, living the life you do?’
‘I wouldn’t say I actually feel complete, yet. No.’
He looked down and was quiet for a beat.
When he looked up he searched her features, as if trying to read the depths behind her eyes. Her heart started racing. She knew that look and she knew she would not be able to refuse him if he tried to kiss her; it was what she’d been dreaming about for oh so long. He was her missing piece; it had always been him. No one else had come close. Her imposed bravado about not needing anyone had prevented anyone from guessing the truth.
And then, suddenly, he reached out for her and he did kiss her and she melted against him. But the ferocity of her bridled feelings flew to the surface, overflowing as a deep moan. Andy pulled back, his eyes travelling over her face in awe. She couldn’t retract what she’d just felt. She didn’t want to; she’d wanted this for far too long, despite everything. Yes, she was still mad at him for what had happened but she’d always wanted him …
And then they made love in a frenzy of fumbling hands and urgent passion, in the back of his car, sweeping them to unadulterated highs that no drug had ever done; tearing the need and want from them both, like a tussle in an alley. And when it was done, when the feverish pitch had ebbed and died and they rested breathlessly in each other’s arms, Dora had known. She’d known she could love no one else – no matter what the future held for them; no matter whether Andy wanted her or not. For her there would only ever be him.
So she turned to him and risked everything because, no matter what had happened between them in the past – unfinished or otherwise – she had so much more now than she’d ever had in her life before; she had her wonderful new friends and, most importantly, her beloved daughter. And all that made her feel fuzzy-warm inside, which was more than enough to Dora. So whether she won him back or lost him forever, she knew she was finally living life on her own terms.
‘You’re like a drug to me; you always were. I love you deeply, Andy, despite everything. And we will always be connected because of Lauren. Second chances don’t usually come along and they rarely work out. Some people change; most of us stay the same. So I’ll understand if you feel our time came and went all those years ago. On the other hand, if you want us to try again – if you want us to work towards trying to put some of the wrongs right, now we’re a lot older and hopefully a lot wiser – I’m all for it. But I’d want to keep it secret and then see where it takes us. I don’t want Lauren getting her hopes up about us and then it not working out again. And then if it doesn’t work out for us, at least we’ll have had our second chance and Lauren will be none the wiser, either way. And – truthfully – I’d be happy whichever way it swung. So what do you think? I’ve told you what I want. But what do you want for us now, Andy?’