The girls arrived the next morning at my old house across the street. When I'd met Rex, he was my neighbor. After we got married, I kept my little ranch across the street for scout meetings. And because I just couldn't let it go.
Kelly arrived with the Kaitlyns, and I didn't have a chance to pump her for intel. We sat in the living room in a circle. We were trying something new that Kelly thought would put a positive spin on meetings. Each girl was supposed to talk about something they'd read, seen, or participated in that was cool. And it went pretty well—until we got to Betty.
"This"—Betty pulled one of Ronni's Justice for Pancratz T-shirts out of a bag—"is really creative."
"Um…" I started to say.
"I mean," the girl continued. "This is out of the box thinking. The kind of stuff we need to do."
"We are not going to do that," Kelly said.
"It is pretty cool," Lauren agreed with Betty, ignoring Kelly. "But aren't they saying Mrs. Wrath is guilty?"
"Yes," I said.
"No," Betty spoke up. "Not necessarily. I mean, don't we all want justice for the victim?"
The girls cheered. I wasn't sure I liked where this was going. I mean, sure, it wasn't right that he was murdered. But it still implied that I was the killer.
"What if we do something that says Justice for Pancratz but also Justice for Wrath?" Ava asked.
Hannah shook her head. "That's not right. We should be Team Wrath all the way."
The four Kaitlyns agreed with her.
Betty looked at the shirt. "Well, we could find another sap to sell up the river."
"Sap?" Kelly asked.
"She's been watching noir films," I explained. "It comes and goes."
Betty ignored us both. "Some bum to collar and send to the stir."
I wasn't in the least surprised that the girls didn't need translation.
Betty put her hand on her chest. "I vote for the mayor."
"Why the mayor?" Kelly asked. "He hasn't been in office long enough to do anything to make you mad."
"You don't understand, Mrs. Albers," Betty said. "This is a bum rap. No chiseler's gonna make a monkey out of Mrs. Wrath. We need a sucker. And that dupe is the mayor."
Kelly pressed. "Why?"
"Because he's a copper!" Betty said.
"I don't think the mayor killed Pancratz," Kelly said.
"How do you know?" Betty narrowed her eyes. "Were you there?"
"No…" Kelly started to say. She looked at me, but she was on her own.
Betty slammed her right fist into her left hand. "Then we drop the hammer and send him up the river."
"Guys," Caterina piped up. "I think we should focus more on Mrs. Wrath not doing it, instead of Pancratz being dead and all that."
"How about Free Wrath?" one of the Kaitlyns asked.
"She's not wasting away in the stir." Betty pointed at me.
"How about Don't Put Wrath In Jail?" another Kaitlyn suggested.
Hannah suggested, "Or She Didn't Do It!"
"We don't need any T-shirts," I insisted.
Ava, whose goal was to become CEO of an insurance corporation, said, "Yes, we do. We need to counter their message!"
"Technically, their message doesn't implicate me directly," I reasoned.
Betty turned the T-shirt over. Merry Wrath Is The Killer! was written in dripping red letters on the back.
I stood corrected.
"Okay. Then ours should say Merry Wrath Didn't Kill This Guy."
Inez thought about that. "But that implies that she's killed other guys."
"Which she probably has." Lauren nodded.
"I haven't killed anyone…" as a citizen.
"I think Merry Wrath Has Killed Lots Of People But Not This Guy is too long for a T-shirt," Ava said.
"It has a nice ring to it," Betty said.
"We are not going to put that on a T-shirt." Kelly held her hands up. "That's not what our meeting is for. So let's move on, please."
"We've got your back, Mrs. Wrath," Hannah said.
"Thanks," I said. "Now, Mrs. Albers is right. We planned this meeting a long time ago to talk about goals for this year."
"Absolutely." Kelly nodded. "The school year is starting. You guys are in fifth grade. It's time to talk about what we'd like to achieve this year."
Betty raised her hand. "I think our goal is for Mrs. Wrath not to kill anyone this year."
My jaw dropped open. "That's your goal?"
"Well." The kid thought about it. "She should only kill bad people."
"We agree!" said all four Kaitlyns at once.
No one seemed to notice that Betty had stopped talking in noir. It probably got old after a while.
"That is not one of our goals," Kelly said. "Our goals should be what we want to accomplish as a troop."
"Right!" Caterina said. "Our goal is that we don't help Mrs. Wrath kill anyone nice."
Ava held one finger up. "But if she does, I think we should have a plan to help her."
"And to dispose of the body," Inez agreed. "We've never covered that. So it's new."
"You guys, that is so sweet and thoughtful." I was touched.
"But." Kelly narrowed her eyes on me.
Oh right. "But this isn't about me. This is about your new year in scouting."
"She's right," Hannah agreed. "We are a lot older this year."
"I'm glad you mentioned that." Betty pulled a stack of IDs from her bag. "I made everyone fake IDs so that we can help her investigate in places like the Cornhole."
The Cornhole was a dive bar outside the city limits with a University of Iowa theme. There were fights almost every night, and the crowd was dangerous. It was the closest thing we had to a biker bar.
Kelly confiscated the IDs, and I joined her to study them. They were really good. Professional, even. Each of the girls' faces had been aged up to look like they were 21 or older.
I held Betty's up to her little kid face.
"Yeah, no one is going to fall for this. You're ten, not twenty-one."
Betty snatched it out of the air. "I'm eleven. Which is practically a teenager."
"Where did you have these done?" I asked. Kelly shot me a look, but I ignored it. "Our guy at the CIA couldn't have done much better."
Betty appeared to preen. "My grandpa has contacts. Some Russian guy in Des Moines who used to work for the FSB," she said, referring to what used to be known as the KGB.
"Oh really?" That got my interest piqued. "I wonder if I know him?"
"You can't use fake IDs!" Kelly snapped. "Now, ladies, can we please get to work?"
"Mrs. Albers is right," I said with a smidge of regret.
We divided the girls into two groups of five, with Betty, Lauren, Inez, Ava, and Caterina in one, Hannah and the four Kaitlyns in the other. The two groups would get fifteen minutes to brainstorm ideas, and then we'd come together and see what they came up with.
"Any news?" I asked Kelly after she'd handed out the paper and pencils.
My co-leader and best friend took me off to the side. "Not much yet. Riley's confirming cause of death with Soo Jin. And I have to tell you, I can't find anything else on this kid. It's like he did nothing but eat, sleep, and go to work."
"Give me an address," I said. "I'll go search his place."
Kelly gave me a look usually reserved for when I did something stupid. Which, in all fairness, I did a lot.
"Do you really think it's a good idea for you to break into his apartment? Wouldn't that make you look guilty if you were caught?"
Aha! "So! He has an apartment. That's something."
My best friend shook her head. "No. You can't go there. It would only make things worse."
"Of course I can go there. I don't want you getting busted."
Kelly folded her arms over her chest. "I have no intention of breaking into a dead guy's apartment. You're my best friend. It would look just as bad."
I threw my arms in the air. "Well, I can't have Rex do it. It would ruin his career if he got busted. What about Riley? He's handling this case for me."
"That's a thought," Kelly mused. "But he's got a personal connection to you too."
Argh! "Everyone does. But you're right. I can't ask anyone to do this on my behalf. That's why we're back to me doing it."
"When are we breaking in?" Betty appeared at my elbow. "I have some new tools I want to try out."
"We aren't doing anything," I said.
"You can't go alone," Betty scoffed. "What if you get caught? Who's going to signal you to let you know someone's coming? And besides, you can't fit into a duct. I can."
"No," I said.
"Betty!" Lauren yelled, and the girl returned to her group.
"Alright," Kelly said. "You can break into the apartment."
I stared at her. "What changed your mind?"
"I'd rather it was you than Betty. Seriously, Merry. You're a bad influence on the girls."
"I am not," I said weakly. "I'm a model of maturity, remember?"
Her eyes grew round. "Where on earth did you get that idea?"
"You called me that," I pointed out. "Or something like that. Once. It might have been a while ago."
"I most certainly did not," Kelly insisted.
"Guys!" Inez shouted. "Are you done arguing? We've got ideas."
We joined the girls as the Kaitlyns selected Hannah to read their list.
"Okay," the girl said. "Here's what we want to do. 1) Go camping. 2) Pet horses. 3) Visit Mr. Fancy Pants, Mrs. Fancy Pants, and Hilly."
"Those are nice, but we do those things every year," Kelly said gently. "You girls are older now. Isn't there something new and a bit more ambitious you'd like to try?"
Hannah said, "I'm not finished. We also want to cure the common cold, give everyone in the world ice cream, and lastly, make world peace." She sat down, and all five girls eyed us triumphantly.
"That's definitely more ambitious," I said. "You asked. They delivered."
Kelly, for once, was speechless. I took it upon myself to call on Betty's group.
"We kinda went in a different direction," Lauren said as she lifted the sheet to read.
"1) Travel to South America to adopt all the king vultures, 2) Set up an exchange program with girls from Catalonia."
Betty was obsessed with Catalonia and used every opportunity to advocate for them. I often wondered if they were paying her.
"3) Have the Magnolia Girls arrested for crimes against Girl Scouts, 4) Go camping, 5) Pet horses, and 6) Look into this murder and elect Mrs. Wrath for president so that she can't be arrested ever again. Amen."
I looked at Kelly and shrugged. "Makes sense to me."
"Okay." She ignored me. "Well, there are some workable ideas in there. I especially like the idea of an exchange program. But maybe with some other country that's closer. Maybe Canada?"
Betty squinted. "Are the Canadians free?"
"I don't think so," Inez said. "The queen of England bosses them around too."
Betty and the other girls whispered for a few seconds. I decided not to correct them because I wanted to see what they came up with.
"We'll do it," Betty announced. "We will free Canada."
"And go camping and pet horses," Hannah said.
All ten girls stared at us so intensely that I was worried I'd catch fire.
"Okay," Kelly said at last.
Canada had no idea what was about to hit them.