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Nerves assailed Arjun as Baz strode toward them in the parking lot of the hotel. No. Nerves didn’t begin to describe what was going through him.
Anxiety, a bit of panic, excitement, and lust were the main forces that were currently coursing through him. But it was so much more than that. They were about to get into an SUV. Where did he sit? Who would drive? Would Baz kiss him again? Would he kiss Tevin? How would Arjun feel about seeing them kiss?
It was as if once that first question popped into his head, they began to cascade one after another until Arjun was ready to bolt. He couldn’t take the constant uncertainty of their situation. It was too... bizarre. Three mates. How was that ever going to work?
Before he realized what was happening, Baz was right there in front him. His hand went around the back of Arjun’s neck and those strong, firm lips were crashing down on his in a kiss that had his toes curling and the knots that had been forming in his stomach releasing.
His mate.
Then Tevin was there at his back. His lips skimmed along his neck and shoulder as he whispered how much he loved Arjun in his ear. The panic melted away. The anxiety was still present, but it was far less than it had been, especially as the excitement and lust took over.
“Better, precious?” Baz asked when he broke off the kiss.
“Yeah. Thanks. But how did you know?” Arjun was a master of hiding his emotions. It had been a necessity when he’d lived on the streets for so long. Tevin had been the only one to have ever been able to read him but not nearly as well as Baz.
“You’re my mate,” Baz said as if that explained everything. “There’s nothing I don’t notice about you and Tevin.”
Arjun wasn’t so sure that being mates was enough to make that happen. But he hoped it was. At least when it came to Baz. It was nice not having to explain himself all the time. To have someone who just...knew.
Arjun just hoped, one day, he’d be able to do the same for his mates. He hadn’t done a great job when it came to Tevin and since meeting Baz, he’d been too focused on his own issues to contemplate what Baz might need.
Those damn nerves rose again when he turned to the vehicle. Still unsure where he should sit, Arjun nearly cried in relief when Baz opened the back door. “Why don’t you and Tevin sit in the back while I drive. You need time to reconnect.”
Even though he agreed with that as he scooted across the back seat so Tevin could also get in, Arjun was finally realizing he hadn’t asked anything about Baz. He didn’t even know where his mate came from. The only thing he knew about the man was that he was a lion shifter.
Well, there was also the fact that he was smart enough to get around Arjun’s booby traps. He had an amazing ability to read both Arjun and Tevin and give them exactly what they needed. And, since he was listing things, he was sexy as sin. Arjun was practically salivating with the desire to lick all those rippling muscles.
Once again, when they had all gotten in the SUV and Baz headed onto the road, his new mate seemed to sense exactly what Arjun was thinking. He couldn’t deny it was a bit unnerving, but mostly he felt... well, as Baz called him, precious.
“How about this?” Baz said after a few minutes of oppressive silence with Arjun and Tevin sitting next to each but not really touching and neither saying a word. “We each ask a question of each other. I’ll start. Tevin, you said you regretted the way you handled things with Arjun. If you could go back and change things, what would you change?”
Arjun sucked in a breath as he waited for Tevin to answer. One thing was for sure, Baz didn’t do easy. He tackled things head on and since they were stuck in the car for the next two hours, it wasn’t as if they had much choice.
Tevin’s hand, which had been resting on the seat mere inches from Arjun’s, crept closer as if his mate desperately wanted to touch Arjun, but was afraid to. Gathering the courage and strength Arjun could feel radiating off Baz, he reached out and linked their fingers together.
Tevin gripped him so tightly his hand turned stark white from the pressure he was exerting, but Arjun didn’t mind. He’d suffer through a lot worse for this man. Hell, he already had.
Then Tevin turned his head so his sweet brown eyes were looking right at Arjun. The pain radiating in them was so intense, Arjun would swear he could reach out and touch the emotion. “I would have explained myself better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure how back then I could have explained better because I didn’t understand what it was I was feeling exactly. But now that I know we had another mate out there, that feeling of something missing makes more sense.”
The reminder that he hadn’t been enough for Tevin was like a knife to the heart. Arjun started to pull his hand away, but Tevin held it even tighter. “Please, wait. I need you to listen. I know I suck at talking about my emotions but I’m trying.”
Arjun nodded, but he just couldn’t say anything. For even now, Tevin talked about what had been missing in their mating instead of what he would have done or said differently. To Arjun, it sounded as if Tevin wouldn’t have changed at all.
“I should have explained to you that even though I did feel as if there was something missing, that you were my world. My everything.” Tears swam in Tevin’s eyes. “My heart. My soul. My life.”
Arjun wanted to believe him. He really did. But too many times he’d tried to tell Tevin the same thing, yet it had never seemed to matter to his mate.
“Arjun,” Baz said hoarsely as if what he’d heard from Tevin had him choked up. “What about you? What would you have done differently?”
Frowning, Arjun looked into the rearview mirror to stare into Baz’s golden eyes. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one saying that even though I felt that missing piece too, it didn’t matter. I was the one who told Tevin he was my world and I loved him. That we didn’t need to worry about whatever it was we sensed missing because we had each other.”
Tevin let out a snort. “That’s not entirely true. You blamed me for not being able to protect you.”
Arjun’s felt his jaw drop as he stared at Tevin, sure he must have heard his mate incorrectly. “What are you talking about? I never expected you to protect me. Hell, before meeting you, I’d done it for over twenty years on my own and I was a kid for a good portion of that time.”
“But you would have died if I hadn’t of been there that day we met,” Tevin shot back.
“Yeah, because you had a car. It wasn’t as if I wanted you to fight them, just get me out of there.” Arjun had never understood Tevin’s obsession that he was the only one who could possibly keep Arjun safe. “I’m not saying I haven’t needed help over the years, but for the most part, I’ve been able to keep myself safe. It wasn’t your job.”
“You’re only saying that because you know I was too weak to be able to protect you.” Tevin sounded defeated. What Arjun didn’t understand was why? He’d never once asked Tevin to fight anyone for him. Nor would he do that of Baz, who could probably kick just about anyone’s ass.
“No, Tevin. I’m saying that because it’s true. I never needed you to protect me from anyone.” He let out a sigh and leaned his head back against the seat, feeling as if they were having the same damn argument they’d always had. “I only needed you to stand by my side. To be my mate. To be proud of me. But most of all, to just love me for who I was, screw ups and all.”
They continued arguing for at least another ten minutes, each bringing up the same points they always made.
“Are you two even listening to each other?” Baz asked, interrupting them and putting a stop to the same fight they always had. “It sounds like you both were assuming things about the other that just weren’t true.”
Huh? Arjun frowned, going over the conversation in his head and not coming up with that conclusion at all.
“Tevin, you assumed Arjun needed you to protect him when he didn’t. Despite what Arjun said, you still keep coming back to that same point.” Arjun cheered that someone, even if it was the wrong mate, got what he was trying to say. “It sounds to me like it’s you who felt inadequate for not being able to protect Arjun, which, by the way, is total bullshit.”
Wait. What? Not the bullshit part, but had Tevin felt like he wasn’t a good mate because he didn’t feel he could protect Arjun? That couldn’t be right. Could it?
“You only say its bullshit because you won’t have any trouble protecting either of us,” Tevin grumbled, his arms crossing over his chest as if trying to find a way to hide away from the conversation.
Maybe Baz was right. “Is that how you felt?” Arjun asked Tevin. “That you weren’t a good mate because you couldn’t fight everyone who was mad at me?”
The muscle in Tevin’s jaw ticked as he stubbornly remained silent.
“And Arjun, you keep talking about Tevin standing by your side, but it seems to me that’s exactly what he was trying to do,” Baz said. “it may not have been in the way you wanted, but he isn’t a mind reader. If you needed him to do it another way, you should have told him.”
Arjun crossed his arms, too. This honesty stuff was hard. Especially when he had to face the fact that he hadn’t always done the right thing for their mating, either. Baz was right. He had wanted something from Tevin instead of just accepting him as he was.
The question was, where did they go from there?