SEVENTEEN
March 25, Six Days to Deadline
Houston suburbs seemed so spacious and quiet to Georgia that they somehow had their own sound. Perfectly manicured trees rustling, small and large dogs barking in their very own yards, the squelching tires of cars pulling into driveways, all of them the exact same. Georgia parked her car in the lot of a neighborhood pool.
They set out on their own three-woman parade to a party that was going to be lame but nonetheless needed their presence. As their high school went, everyone was going to be there simply because there was nothing else to do that weekend.
“You know what? Fuck him,” Georgia muttered, her strides way too big for Edie and Dawn to keep up.
“Who, Knox? I know. I just thought he was so nice,” Dawn whined over the sound of a passing car.
“Not everyone who’s attractive and interesting is nice,” Georgia preached, attempting an air of wisdom.
“Of course I know he’s awful, I just don’t like making mistakes, even if the mistake is another person.”
“You’ve never done anything wrong in your life.”
“You know what’s weird? Even after all that, I still kind of want to be in love. Is that weird? Like, I want to match clothes with someone. Is that ugly?” Dawn cringed at her own words.
“Yes and yes, but I support you. I want that for you.” Georgia laughed.
“Okay, good.”
“So what’s up with that guy you’ve been texting from the film festival,” Georgia asked, finally slowing down enough at the end of a short block for Edie and Dawn to get in step with her on the sidewalk.
“Collin?” Georgia watched a small smile appear on Dawn’s face.
“Yeah. I feel like you’re always texting him. Like, not in a bad way, just like, who is this mystery man who’s got you giggling at your phone? I mean, you’re literally smiling right now and I barely mentioned him.”
Edie raised an eyebrow but remained quiet as they kept walking.
“He’s funny and I feel like we’re on the same wavelength about a lot of different film stuff. It’s like, every time he texts me, I want to read it right then,” Dawn began to skip but stopped when she realized Edie was falling behind. “Is that problematic? A friend crush on a person I’ve never met?”
“It’s modern. It’s cute. We live in the internet age.” Georgia placed her hand on her hip with a shrug. “If you want to have a new best friend in your phone we’ve never met, go off.”
“Georgia.”
“I’m just kidding! Is he cute?”
“He’s from Austin. He’s in college,” Dawn turned dramatically to face Georgia as she leaned against the counter, “and yes, he’s very cute.”
Georgia glanced at her now dinging phone as the group blindly walked towards several houses with the same bricks and windows in all the same places. She let out a small sigh at the notification on her screen.
“What?” Edie questioned.
Georgia quickly shut her phone off and walked ahead. “Nothing.”
“Seriously, what?” Edie poked until Georgia let out a slow exasperated breath.
“Sarah Bettelhem just told me Ben is going to be there,” she uttered through tight lips.
“It’s not that big of a deal. I’m fine.” Edie kept walking, her eyes trained on the sidewalk.
“Okay, girl. If you say so.” Georgia went quiet.
“She’s only saying that ’cause she doesn’t want to admit that Ben is the only person who has ever understood any of her family shit,” whispered Dawn. “Plus, you act like lying to your parents is such a big deal because you want them to think you’re perfect and straight but you actually lie to them all the time.”
“What?” Edie stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.
“D,” added Geo, shocked at Dawn’s sudden bluntness. Georgia was usually the one saying the harshest version of the truth. She waited for something to happen as Edie ceased to move on the sidewalk.
“Are you kidding?” Edie’s lips parted in shock.
Dawn stopped walking and turned around to look at Edie.
“Why would I be kidding? Ben went through all that shit for you and you basically made them break up with you because of your parents. I know I’m supposed to be on your side or whatever but like, Ben was fucking cool and you were really rude to them.”
“Can you guys chill for like three seconds,” Georgia interjected, trying to cool the conversation.
“Sorry. Just forget it,” Dawn went quiet. The girls started walking again.
Dawn turned to Georgia after a moment. “Speaking of um, family shit, how did your mom’s date go with the mystery man? You never told us.”
“No comment,” she muttered.
“That ugly? Yikes.”
Georgia kept silent hoping the subject would change. The whole thing felt too big and too unreal to utter.
Edie suddenly increased her pace so she was in front of Georgia and Dawn then stopped and turned around.
“You’re right, D. Okay? You’re right. I was wrong. I did the wrong thing. I messed up.” She paused for a long time and let out a small sigh. “Listen, I’m not twelve. If they want to talk, we can talk. If not? It’s no big deal.”
Dawn chimed in. “I actually just turned twelve yesterday, so despite my earlier statements, I will facilitate and even participate in a confrontation on your behalf if I need to,” she said with a laugh.
“No, we’re going to be adults.” Edie narrowed her eyes at Georgia and Dawn.
“How boring,” Dawn sighed. “You know who else is going to be there? Georgia’s lover.” Dawn drawled out the words and placed a hand on Georgia’s cheek.
They laughed and kept walking. Another park floated by and dozens of neighborhoods labeled with carved stones, all named after types of trees and bodies of water. The night went on as they wandered farther and farther into the twists and turns of cul-de-sacs until the muddied sound of teenagers chatting and too loud music came into earshot. Busted cars were parked up and down the street. People were huddled smoking weed and hanging out by the cars in groups of three and four.
The house emerged from the darkness, its interior lights peeking out from small windows smattered across from the front of the façade. The lawn was littered with bodies talking in small circles. The night started within the girls as they moved towards the front door.
Bodies gathered in the living room like ants over abandoned fruit. The party’s host, Gunther, was nowhere to be found and the girls tried to ease into the movement of the party. Dawn and Edie disappeared into the crowd to find something to drink. The kitchen seemed to be the pulsing heart of the party at the moment.
Like an arrow, Georgia’s body found its way to the bumping center of the living room, which functioned as the dance floor. Georgia wanted to forget everything she’d ever known. She wanted to know nothing about Simone, about school, about who she was or where she was going. She closed her eyes and began to move to the music all around her.
She decided at that moment to permanently keep the situation with Simone to herself. She had been thinking that telling Edie and Dawn would help her figure out what to do, but now she saw that it was useless, another problem on a huge stack of already existing problems. She hated being difficult. She hated being the problem. For her mother, for her school, for her friends. She didn’t mind being the problem for herself. She would deal with it on her own. The movement of the music sifted through her limbs and let her be free from the stress of his voice, his smell, his face too close to hers. Somebody’s hand brushed against her lower back as they moved through the living room and she flinched. She hated the disgust she felt but kept dancing anyway.
Edie and Dawn moved to the kitchen, which bumbled with unimportant talk of school and what new album was the best, though Edie and Dawn thought that nobody at Alsbury knew anything about anything, especially music.
Edie snatched up an almost empty handle of vodka and began to look for juice and sodas on the counter. Dawn eyed her as she moved around the now sticky marble countertops for something to mix her drink with. “You don’t usually drink,” Dawn said evenly.
“I could though,” Edie retorted. She could start right now. For once, she didn’t need to ask for permission to do something wrong. Dawn was right. She had been rude to Ben and made them break up with her. She was wrong. She was the mess. She lied constantly and had no one left.
“I don’t know, E.” Dawn brushed the hair from her face and kept an eye on Edie’s frantic movements.
Edie couldn’t find the mixer she was looking for and brought the large glass bottle of vodka above her head. She felt drunk on the night without having had a drop. She tipped the bottle towards her lips as Dawn watched in horror. The vodka splashed against her chin and dribbled down to her top, some of it catching in her mouth. It stung and she felt stupid but still determined to make the wrong decision on purpose; to prove to herself that she had control over something.
“Oops.”
“Okay then.” Dawn reached for the bottle and set it down on the counter beside Edie. Edie picked up a different almost empty bottle of liquor. Probably something from Gunther’s parents, it looked too fancy to be corner store trash for seventeen-year-olds willing to drink anything.
Edie laughed lightly as though she was already intoxicated from the one sip. She tilted her head back again and kept drinking.
“Please come dance with me,” Dawn grabbed Edie’s hand, helping her put the bottle down. “It’ll be good.” Dawn led Edie away to the living room.
Edie eased into the music, Dawn’s hand still clenching her own. She spun and spun in bumbled in circles around her friend.
Dawn’s phone buzzed and she migrated away from Edie to the edge of the room so she could read the text without bumping into all the moving bodies congregated in the center of the living room.
Collin’s name popped up on her screen and she couldn’t help but smile to herself. She was getting used to their conversations. Not even a mediocre house party would keep her from reading his words immediately.
COLLIN: Just finished the doc about Charleston and you were 100% right. Too many shots of birds!
Dawn snickered.
DAWN: lol right?? at a party rn and you wouldn’t believe how yikes things are getting
COLLIN: ????
DAWN: edie is getting Very drunk despite never drinking and i think geo is talking to her secret-not-secret-anymore girlfriend
COLLIN: Wow. That does sound yikes. Is Edie ok?? She’s the one who just broke up with her partner, right?
DAWN: yup :(and yeah she’s having a hard time. she’s ok. or … she will be. i know her, she’s totally brilliant and tough. weird u haven’t met them but know so much
COLLIN: I was just thinking that! Hope I can meet them if you come to Austin for the fest. My friends swear I made you up and am actually just texting myself all the time.
DAWN: lol tell them I said hey. really
COLLIN: We’ll see if they believe me. Collin and the invisible girl. Not a bad movie title.
DAWN: Dawn Salcedo Will Haunt Your iPhone Forever! not as catchy :~) k, gotta go but call later! i think i hear edie yelling at someone in the kitchen
COLLIN: Oof. Later ghost girl.
Dawn turned towards the hallway off of the living room and through a cracked door saw Jill and Georgia laying on a queen-sized bed. She turned back to the living room to look for Edie but couldn’t spot her in the small crowd. She felt a small panic build up in her chest as she made her way back to the kitchen where she could hear Edie’s voice emitting off its tiles.
Dawn found Edie with the same bottle from earlier held in one hand while the other hand raised a white, porcelain plate from the kitchen’s many cabinets high above her head.
“Edie, put it down, I’m serious. Put it down.” Dawn held her palm out like you would a wild animal soon to attack.
Edie laughed drunkenly.
“Seriously, E. Chill out and just put it down” Dawn begged. She imagined the plate hitting the floor, she imagined the startled look on Edie’s face, the night ruined for everyone.
“I’m going to smash it like we’re at a wedding!” Dawn watched as Edie stumbled, unable to keep herself from doubling over; it was like her torso had decided it was tired of holding her up, everything slow and uncontrollable. Edie tripped over the hem of her dress and her fingers let go of the plate. It went flying against the hard countertop, and Edie’s body bent to the floor like tumbling building blocks, her dress pooling around her knees.
Dawn watched the whole disaster in slow motion, the plate breaking exactly how she’d imagined it would. Except that no flood of realization hit Edie, who looked up at her with a glassy smile from the floor.
“Dawn, will you marry me?” Edie whined out as she began gathering broken porcelain bits from around the floor.
“Edie, please. You’re going to …” Dawn trailed off as her phone rang on the counter. An old picture of her dad appeared on the screen. Her stomach turned as she picked up the phone.
“E, get up. I’ll be right back.” She walked out of the kitchen as her thumb slid across the screen to answer the call. She rushed to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She could barely understand her father’s voice on the other end of the line, the steady stream of music blaring against the closed bathroom door. She listened closely as the voice on the other end mumbled words at her.
Dawn emerged from the bathroom, still on the phone. “Okay, Papa, I’m coming. Don’t move. I’ll be there in just a second.” She hung up and rushed out of the bathroom.
The first person she spotted in the now even more crowded living room was Ben.
“Ben, I need you to drive me somewhere. Please. Now.” She grabbed their arm as she spoke. Her voice wrenched as she tried to keep herself together.
“Yeah, yeah absolutely.” They nodded quickly.
“I’m gonna text Georgia. I think she’s in the bedroom. And can you please grab Edie?”
Ben’s face scrunched in confusion and Dawn realized they hadn’t seen her all night.
“In the kitchen. I’ll text Geo and meet you in the car.”
“Yeah. Here,” Ben tossed their keys in Dawn’s direction and she ran out to their car.