CHAPTER 11

Isabella

As soon as she took her crown, Isabella commanded: “Cars are now illegal—ride horses instead!”

The queen claimed to have put this law into effect because “cars pollute the air with their gas fumes,” and “oil is a shrinking resource,” and “the world should be concerned for the environment.” But I think it was really just because Isabella is obsessed with horses.

Within days, every car and truck and SUV was taken off the road. The nation’s highways and roads filled up with horses of every color and shape. Grown-ups rode stallions to their jobs, while kids rode ponies to school. Horses stopped at red lights and trotted forward at green lights. Best of all, no car accidents!

Seeing all the horses galloping together was a beautiful sight, like a scene out of a fairy tale. “This is the best day of my life,” Queen Isabella said. “Even better than that time I got a unicorn!” But like most fairy tales, there was something wicked coming… in the air.

You see, true to the queen’s word, no cars on the roads meant no more fumes. Well, no more exhaust fumes.

There were, however, poop fumes. And they stunk real bad.

Highways and byways and toll roads were covered in horse poop. Driveways and parking lots? More horse poop. Intersections and crosswalks? Still more horse poop.

Why, you ask? Simple. Horses go to the bathroom wherever and whenever they feel like it.

Horses aren’t like you or me; they don’t go to the toilet and flush. They don’t worry about others stepping in it. They just shake their tails and trot in the other direction like they weren’t the ones who smelt it—and dealt it. Plop!

Horses, as it turns out, are kind of jerks.

And thanks to the queen’s law, jerks were now everywhere—which meant their poop was everywhere. People refused to leave their homes because of the smell. Soon, it was decided that, like the poop outside, Queen Isabella’s reign really, really STUNK.