CHAPTER 29

Zoey

Zoey’s last name was Zucchini, but she wasn’t green. She was actually bright red—thanks to a terrible sunburn. Zoey was one of those unlucky people with fair skin that burns instantly if she doesn’t slather herself in sunscreen and hide in the shade.

Unfortunately her dad chose a beach vacation, and Zoey fell asleep in the sun. Four hours, and Zoey was as burnt as toast. Zoey hated the sun.

“You burned me on purpose!” she screamed at the sun. It didn’t say anything. Because, you know, it’s the sun. And it doesn’t speak. Still, Zoey took the sun’s silence as being rude, and she vowed revenge.

So, when she became queen, she did what any rational sun-hating queen would do: She soothed her sunburn with aloe vera and said, “I royally command that the sun be made illegal!”

You read that right. Zoey wanted the sun gone, and she didn’t care how. But her royal advisors and the royal scientists and even the royal army said they couldn’t help her. So she went to 13. “You have magical powers or something, right? Can you make the sun disappear from the sky forever?”

“I could, but that’d be really bad because of gravity and the planets and stuff.”

“Well, could you make sunlight go away?”

“I can do that, too, but people need the sun. So do plants. The whole world kind of needs it to make everything work. Plus, people are finally using solar energy, and that’s good for the planet.”

Zoey pitched a tantrum. “Just do it, 13! Use those magic lips to make an eclipse. Or else!” Zoey raised her fist like she was going to hit 13.

13 had never been hit before. The threat of violence was pretty scary. So without thinking further, 13 just did it.

Right then and there, at just a few minutes after noon, the moon moved in front of the sun, and the nation was suddenly covered in complete darkness.

At first, people thought it was cool. Schoolchildren everywhere rushed to make those eclipse-watching thingies out of cereal boxes and foil and tape. (Why? Because you’re not supposed to look directly at an eclipse, silly. It’s really bad for your eyes. I’m serious! Look it up.)

Farmers worried about their crops. They asked, “How will I grow my corn?”

Sailors lost their way in the water. They cried, “How will we find our way home?” (With a compass, you silly gooses.)

But all the vampires cheered for the twenty-four-hour darkness! They said, “How will we decide who to bite first? Woo-hoo! Let’s party!”

Vampires overran the whole country.

And the citizens of the queens and kings of Classroom 13? Well, they’d had enough. It was time for a revolution.

What’s a rev-o-lu-tion? It’s an instance of revolt. Or in this case, a forcible overthrow of the government. They were going to get rid of the queens and kings of Classroom 13.…