3:1 The events recorded in chapter 2 led to a long war between David’s followers and the troops loyal to Abner and Ish-bosheth. Civil war rocked the country at great cost to both sides. This war occurred because Israel and Judah had lost sight of God’s vision and purpose: to settle the land (Genesis 12:7), to drive out the Canaanites (Deuteronomy 7:1-4), and to obey God’s laws (Deuteronomy 8:1). Instead of uniting to accomplish these goals, they fought each other. When you face conflict, step back from the hostilities and consider whether you and your enemy have common goals that are bigger than your differences. Appeal to those interests as you work for a settlement.
3:2-5 David suffered much heartache because of his many wives. Polygamy was a socially acceptable practice for kings at this time, although God specifically warned against it (Deuteronomy 17:14-17). Sadly, the numerous sons born to David’s wives caused him great trouble. Rape (13:14), murder (13:28), rebellion (15:13), and greed (1 Kings 1:5, 6) all resulted from the jealous rivalries among the half brothers. Solomon, one of David’s sons and his successor to the throne, also took many wives, and they eventually turned him away from God (1 Kings 11:3, 4).
3:6, 7 To sleep with any of the king’s wives or concubines was to make a claim to the throne, and it was considered treason. Because Ish-bosheth was a weak ruler, Abner was running the country; thus, he may have felt justified in sleeping with Saul’s concubine. Ish-bosheth, however, saw that Abner’s power was becoming too great.
3:7 Ish-bosheth may have been right to speak out against Abner’s behavior, but he didn’t have the moral strength to maintain his authority (3:11). Lack of moral backbone became the root of Israel’s troubles over the next four centuries. Only 4 of the next 40 kings of Israel were called “good.” It takes courage and strength to stand firm in your convictions and to confront wrongdoing in the face of opposition. When you believe something is wrong, do not let yourself be talked out of your position. Firmly attack the wrong and uphold the right.
3:8 By saying, “Am I a dog’s head . . . against Judah?” Abner meant, “Am I a traitor for Judah?” He may have been refuting the accusation that he was trying to take over the throne, or he may have been angry that Ish-bosheth scolded him after Abner had helped put him on the throne in the first place. Prior to this conversation, Abner realized that he could not keep David from eventually taking over Israel. Because he was angry at Ish-bosheth, Abner devised a plan to turn over the kingdom of Israel to David.
3:12 By this time Abner realized that it was useless to fight for the weak ruler, Ish-bosheth. Nothing could prevent David from becoming king of all Israel, because God was with him (3:18). Abner designed a deal with David to prevent David’s men from seeking revenge against him for being the commander of both Saul’s army (1 Samuel 26:5-7) and the northern confederacy (2:8).
3:13 In an effort to reunite all Israel, David agreed to Abner’s deal. Ish-bosheth was not God’s appointed king as Saul had been; therefore, David accepted Abner’s terms.
3:13, 14 Michal had been married to David. Saul had arranged the marriage as a reward for David’s acts of bravery (1 Samuel 17:25; 18:24-27). Later, however, in one of his jealous fits, Saul took Michal away from David and forced her to marry Phaltiel (called Phalti in 1 Samuel 25:44). Now David wanted his wife back before he would begin to negotiate peace with the northern tribes. Perhaps David still loved her (but see 6:20-23 for the tension in their relationship). More likely, he thought that marriage to Saul’s daughter would strengthen his claim to rule all Israel and demonstrate that he had no animosity toward Saul’s house. Phaltiel was the unfortunate victim caught in the web of Saul’s jealousy.
3:19 Because Saul, Ish-bosheth, and Abner were all from the tribe of Benjamin, the support of the elders of that tribe meant that Abner was serious about his offer. There was a strong possibility of overcoming tribal jealousies and uniting the kingdom.
3:26-29 Joab took revenge for the death of his brother instead of leaving justice to God. But that revenge backfired on him (1 Kings 2:31-34). God will repay those who deserve it (Romans 12:19). Refuse to rejoice when your enemies suffer, and don’t try to get revenge. Seeking revenge will ruin your own peace of mind and increase the chances of further retaliation.
3:27 Abner killed Joab’s brother Asahel in self-defense. Joab then killed Abner to avenge his brother’s death and also to save his position of military leadership. People who killed in self-defense were supposed to be safe in cities of refuge (Numbers 35:22-25). Joab showed his disrespect for God’s laws by killing Abner out of revenge in Hebron, a city of refuge (Joshua 20:7).
3:29 Why did David say such harsh words about Joab? David was upset over Abner’s death for several reasons. (1) He was grieved over the loss of a skilled military officer. (2) He wanted to place the guilt of Abner’s murder on Joab, not himself. (3) He was on the verge of becoming king over the entire nation, and utilizing Abner was the key to winning over the northern tribes. Abner’s death could have revived the civil war. (4) Joab violated David’s agreement to protect Abner. Joab’s murderous act ruined David’s plans, and David was especially angry that his own commander had committed the crime.
3:31 By walking behind the bier, David was leading the mourning.
3:31ff David ordered Joab to mourn, possibly because few people were aware that Joab had committed the crime and because David did not want any further trouble. If this is true, David was thinking more about strengthening his kingdom than about justice.
3:39 Joab and Abishai were the two sons of Zeruiah David mentioned. David had an especially hard time controlling Joab because, although he was intensely loyal, he was strong willed, preferring to do things his own way. In exchange for his loyalty, however, David was willing to give him the flexibility he craved.
Joab’s murder of Abner is an example of his fierce independence. While David opposed the murder, he allowed it to remain unpunished because (1) to punish Joab could cause the troops to rebel; (2) Joab was David’s nephew, and any harsh treatment could cause family problems; (3) Joab was from the tribe of Judah, and David didn’t want rebellion from his own tribe; (4) to get rid of Joab would mean losing a skilled and competent commander who had been invaluable in strengthening his army.