CHAPTER 15

CHOOSE GRATITUDE

A minister, a rabbi, and an imam walk into an apse . . .

One of the oldest continuously ministering churches in the United States is Marble Collegiate in lower Manhattan, New York City, founded in 1628 in what was then the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam. The first sermons were preached in a gristmill. At the time, the population of New Amsterdam was estimated to be roughly three hundred. In 1854, a new church was built near a dairy farm in the distant, far northern reaches of town—way up on Twenty-Ninth Street. The Neo-Romanesque Gothic structure had a 215-foot steeple and a facade of Tuckahoe marble, giving the church its name. The church has seen much history pass through and by its doors, both joyous and somber in tone, from holiday celebrations to the funeral procession of Abraham Lincoln.

Now, nearly four hundred years, many renovations, and several historic designations later, Marble Collegiate Church not only still stands but continues to hold services, and hosts the occasional tourist. The church describes itself as a “diverse, inclusive community” and welcomes people of all faiths as well as those who don’t practice any one in particular.

On Thanksgiving Day in 1991—the year of the Persian Gulf War—the church, under the direction of Dr. Arthur Caliandro, launched its annual “trialogue,” in which a leader of the Jewish and the Muslim communities each joined the minister for a joint sermon. The annual tradition continues to this day, though the date varies. Interfaith dialogues and sermons like these happen all over the country, many of them during Thanksgiving weekend, many taking an ecumenical or nondenominational approach, and very many becoming celebratory and illuminating litanies on that which all humans have in common.

The unifying theme among so many communities, secular and religious, is one of the power of gratitude. More than simply the trend of the moment, the topic of gratitude as a health benefit has gained serious momentum in recent years. The timeless, global practice of gratitude is now enjoying an increasing amount of positive attention.

As Americans assess their present roles in their own community, as well as in the global one, they can move in the direction of an increasingly diverse and ideally aware culture. Embracing gratitude can play a key role for Americans seeking authentic ways to best carry this annual tradition forward. Beyond any spirit of the season, bringing “thanksgiving” into one’s daily life is linked to improved mental and even physical health, and it continues to benefit from a growing body of neuroscientific and psychological research.

Setting aside a dedicated time to stop and say thank you—whether aloud, to oneself, or to another—for even the smallest things in life has been proved to benefit one’s health in numerous ways. Even minor gratitude practice has been linked to the reduction of, for example, cellular inflammation and anxiety; the lessening of symptoms related to aches, pains, and other illnesses; the lowering of blood pressure; and the boosting of the immune system. In studies, participants reported feeling better physically and mentally, and credited cultivating an attitude of gratitude with reducing symptoms related to depression. And while gratitude practice decreases those, it can also increase positive, beneficial feelings such as self-esteem, appreciation, and mental fortitude. As an added bonus, gratitude as a regular practice can promote better, sounder sleep.

The simple act of writing down things for which one is thankful—i.e., gratitude journaling—not only engenders more of that good feeling in the people doing the writing but can also impact their relationships, improving their capacity to both experience and exhibit empathy when dealing with others. The practice, in that sense, pays it forward.

Studies supporting these findings keep adding up. In 2010, researchers Randy A. Sansone, a psychiatrist and professor, and Lori A. Sansone, a family medicine doctor, surveyed a large body of research conducted with a variety of populations, including adolescents, high school athletes, and college students, illustrating the “association between gratitude and an overall sense of well-being.”

For the purposes of the paper, the pair defined gratitude as “the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself; it is a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation.” The crux of that definition is “meaningful to oneself.” There are many ways, big and small, to be grateful, but what is taken for granted by one person may be reason for extreme gratitude for another. The assessment of gratitude is deeply personal; each individual experiences it in different, though equally empowering, ways.

Psychologist and professor Robert Emmons at the University of California, Davis, and Michael McCullough, director of the Evolution and Human Behavior Laboratory and professor of psychology at the University of Miami, have established themselves as leading researchers in the field of gratitude. In a 2003 report, the pair described a study of a group of undergraduate students. They divided the subjects into three groups and collected ten weekly reports in which participants listed either (1) things for which they were thankful, (2) things that were “hassles,” or (3) “events”—more neutral happenings. Emmons and McCullough also asked each group to report on their mood and physical well-being. The researchers noted that “the effect on positive affect appeared to be the most robust finding,” and that the “conscious focus on blessings may have emotional and interpersonal benefits.”

In 2017, psychology professors Joel Wong and Joshua Brown of Indiana University reported the results of a study they conducted with three hundred adults, many of them college students, and all of whom were already seeking psychological counseling for depression and anxiety. The study did not replace the psychological counseling. Wong and Brown simply instructed one group of study participants to write a letter of gratitude to someone each week for three weeks. The second group was instructed to journal about any negative feelings that they were having. The third, control group had no writing assignment and simply attended counseling sessions.

Despite the short time frame during which the students were observed—three weeks—the students who wrote letters of gratitude exhibited the greatest improvement in symptoms of all three groups. Following these students after the initial three weeks, Wong and Brown found evidence that the positive mental health effects the participants experienced were evident as much as twelve weeks out. In fact, they “accrued over time.” Students who wrote letters were not required to mail them; it turned out that the mere act of cataloging that for which they were grateful had a positive effect all on its own. The impact was not just that they were then able to focus on the good but also that the gratitude practice could somehow help “shift . . . focus away from negative feelings and thoughts.”

If the proof is in the pudding, the pudding in this case is the gray matter. Three months after the initial psychotherapy sessions, doctors took fMRIs of the letter-writing group and the therapy-only group as they performed what was called a “pay it forward” task. A functional MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) shows the metabolism of oxygen within brain cells, allowing doctors to see which areas are stimulated—or “light up”—under different circumstances.

The two groups were given money by a fictional benefactor and then asked to pass the funds on to someone if they felt moved by gratitude to do so. Participants were polled on how much money, if any, they passed along. They were also asked how grateful they felt toward the benefactor, how much they wanted to help their chosen charity, and how appreciative, in general, they felt about their lives—as well as how guilty they might feel if they did not pass along the funds.

The fMRI results showed that the brain activity of those who gave out of gratitude was markedly different from those who gave out of a sense of obligation or guilt. The scientists could see increased activity and neural sensitivity in the medial prefrontal cortex—the brain’s decision-making and learning hub—of the grateful students. It was almost as if the “gratitude state of mind” had rewired their brains. “This suggests that people who are more grateful are also more attentive to how they express gratitude,” concluded Wong and Brown. “[S]imply expressing gratitude may have lasting effects on the brain.”

Recent research has linked gratitude with a tendency toward generosity. The key lies in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex in the brain’s frontal lobe, which has been shown to be stimulated by altruistic activity. Researchers from the University of Oregon’s Emotions and Neuroplasticity Project in the Department of Psychology mapped the brain activity of participants as they reacted to the stimulus of money deposited into their own accounts, as opposed to money deposited into those of a charity. There was hard synaptic evidence: The brain itself connected thankfulness practice with altruistic action. According to project director Christina M. Karns, as reported in ScienceDaily in 2017, “[P]eople who reported more altruistic and grateful traits showed a reward-related brain response when the charity received money that was larger than when they received the money themselves.” Gratitude journaling enhanced these results.

And humans are apparently not the only altruistic animals on the planet. A report titled “The Science of Gratitude,” prepared for the John Templeton Foundation by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, cites research suggesting that animals such as fish and, ironically, vampire bats exhibit “reciprocal altruism,” helping others of their species even if it does no immediate good—or possibly even does harm—to themselves. Social and cultural factors play into the gratitude experience, of course, but there is mounting evidence that doing good for others is associated with doing good for oneself.

When you take the time and make the effort to feel thankful during trying times, the impact of gratitude is often strongest. The UC Berkeley report stated, “Several studies have found that more grateful people experience less depression and are more resilient following traumatic events.”

More support for this idea comes from a study on the post–September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in New York City, which was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Researchers found that seeking reasons to be thankful in the midst of agony and sadness was a key factor in what they referred to as a person’s “bouncebackability.”

This particular quality—resilience—has also been studied by Dr. Emmons at UC Davis, who has researched gratitude for nearly two decades: “[N]ot only will a grateful attitude help,” he wrote in 2013, “it is essential. In fact, it is precisely under crisis conditions when we have the most to gain by a grateful perspective on life.”

Emmons writes that remembering the hard times can offer inspiration for appreciating the present. In a sense, we literally have to see where we’ve been in order to value where we are. Emmons notes that practicing gratitude does not mean ignoring or devaluing the pain and difficulty that life often brings our way. Feelings are what they are—messy, often unpleasant, and impossible to control. Gratitude, on the other hand, is an active choice, and many neuroscientists and psychiatric professionals are finding that choosing gratitude really is as good for the body as it may be for the soul.

Humans through time often gave thanks after living through a difficult ordeal: a lack of food, a harrowing journey, a trying personal loss. More than merely looking on the bright side of things, gratitude practice was and is a conscious shift of focus, the deliberate application of a different lens through which to view what was otherwise an unpleasant experience. It is beneficial for gratitude to be “chosen in spite of one’s situation or circumstances,” Emmons writes.

We don’t have to look far to see this very dynamic in the story of the national holiday of Thanksgiving in the United States.

Sarah Josepha Hale’s commitment to her writing and desire to create an annual, codified holiday centered around thankfulness came on the heels of the sudden loss of her husband and the need to support her five small children. Abraham Lincoln’s decision to support Hale’s bid to establish the holiday came in the middle of the Civil War, at a time when he routinely walked past the increasing number of graves being dug beyond the doors of his cottage at the Soldiers’ Home. It came at a time when families north and south were torn apart by political differences. It came at a time when things seemed darkest, and yet in that first presidential proclamation of thanksgiving that Lincoln issued—even as he acknowledged the difficulties and trials that the country was experiencing—he chose to offer reasons, many of them, for everyone, on all sides, to be thankful.