Kristin’s hand came up to her hair. She couldn’t stop herself from touching it, or pausing to study herself every time she caught a glimpse of her reflection in a store window.
On the walk to the bus station, she’d thought about what Soothe had told her, turning it over and over in her mind. Whatever it was had to be bad. There was no way Soothe would have done this otherwise.
Was it as bad as death, she’d wondered? She wasn’t sure how much death scared her now.
A disheveled man wandered past her, weaving his way across the sidewalk. He made a clucking noise with his tongue.
“What about it, baby? How much?”
She put her head down and hurried past him.
Even with her new look was it still obvious what she was? No, she told herself. It was just how some men were.
As she walked on, the idea that people could tell what she’d been doing continued to trouble her. Was there any going home? Any way of somehow turning back the clock to the time before she met Andre, and all this started. Could she even bring herself to go home? What would she say to her mom?
Shame and embarrassment welled up in her. It threatened to overwhelm her. She thought about going back to school and it seemed impossible.
Keep walking, she told herself, and she did. A sleek glass window threw back her reflection as she came up on it. She stopped.
Maybe the haircut and the clothes had been as much of a gift as the money for the journey. Soothe had chosen to give her the opposite of what she was. Was that what she been telling her? That we are who we decide to be.
She pulled the money out of her pocket and studied it. She shoved it back as two young guys walked past her, both of them checking her out for a moment before they continued on their way.
She could see the bus station a few blocks ahead. She hurried along. The bus left in thirty minutes. Plenty of time to make it. Even more time when she was aboard to figure out what she’d do when she got back to LA.