I didn’t want to sleep last night. I was terrified to even turn out the light. I just knew the nightmares would be unbearable. How could they not be? I couldn’t even close my eyes without seeing that poor woman’s shrieking face.
And yet, without sleep, without dreams, I wouldn’t be able to see you. I wouldn’t know where to hide this next letter. If I missed a dream, would I miss the answer to stopping the men in the gray suits?
So I slept. It took a long time. Hours. But for that one chance at seeing you, I risked the nightmares.
And the nightmares came.
They came without mercy.
At first, it was only the memory of that horrible event as I’d witnessed it. I was back inside that closet, peering through the crack between the doors. I saw her so clearly. Her bloody, bulging eyes, her mouth wide open, her jaws tense, the cords in her neck so tight I thought they might snap. I saw her back arched, her hands clawing at her shackles, her feet kicking uselessly on the concrete. It was as if I were being forced to study every horrid detail of her suffering.
The worst part about it was that it wasn’t a nightmare. It was happening just the way I saw it. The only difference was that, in the dream, I could clearly see the window above her as she was dying. And outside, it was raining dead birds.
Yesterday, after I crept out the window, I saw several dead birds lying in the grass as I fled across the yard and back to my bike. It was just like in the lot behind the church. But in my dream, I saw them falling by the thousands. I watched them raining down as I listened to that poor woman scream herself to death.
Then the dream changed. Suddenly, it was not the woman who was being murdered by the fat man, but me. I was screaming. My insides were on fire. I could see him looking down at me, laughing. And then everything turned red as my eyeballs filled with blood.
I woke up sweaty and trembling. I didn’t think I could go back to sleep after that. I didn’t think it was possible. But I guess I was exhausted because as the sun came up, I nodded off again. This time, I found you.
I saw you standing in front of that old motel, the one just down the road from the house where the woman died. You were next to the sign by the office, the one that always reads VACANCY. I’ve never seen it say NO VACANCY. Not once that I can remember. Although I suppose that doesn’t mean it never happened. But when I saw you standing beside it, it didn’t say anything. It was blank. It was broken. It looked so very old. It was a stark reminder of just how far away you are, how unobtainable you are. How very alone I am…
I’m sorry. I need to get to the point. You already know that I saw you finding this letter inside that sign. You wouldn’t be reading this now, if you hadn’t already done it. I saw you take it from there, so I know that’s where I’ll put it, so that you can find it…so that I can dream about you finding it...so I can put it there…
I wonder. Which of us really came first?
I’m sorry. It’s hard to focus. I told you I didn’t sleep well.
I dreamed you found this letter. I’m not sure how it was you came to find it in such an odd place, but somehow you did. And I had no idea yet what I was going to write in it. I hoped desperately that it wouldn’t be like my last letter, that I would never have to witness anything like that ever again, much less record every horrible detail.
I dreamed about the things you’re doing in your time. I saw you exploring Creek Bend. I saw you searching for my letters. I saw you talking to someone about the men in the gray suits, about what they might be up to. I didn’t catch it all, but I could see that you were concerned. You think they’re going to do something bad, too. Something worse than bad. Something disastrous. And I saw that you have your own men in gray suits. Except your men in gray suits don’t wear gray suits. They’re something different. But they’re one and the same, aren’t they? They come from the same place. They have the same evil goals.
I dreamed that you went to the activity center. I recognized it. It was the same as when I went there, but it was like the motel. It was much older. It was deserted. It was dark. And there was something lurking there, something unnatural. Something monstrous.
You were in danger.
Will that happen before you read this letter? Or after? I can’t be sure.
I didn’t get to see what happened next. My mom woke me for school at that moment.
I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re Mr. Future. This is the sort of thing you do.
Right?
I’m sorry. I’m rambling again. Enough about the stupid dreams I had last night. I don’t have much time and I need to tell you what happened after school today.
My dreams showed me where to hide this letter, but not what I should do next. I spent the day wondering if I should wait for them to show me the way, or if it was more important that I not waste time. I mean, the suits have already murdered that woman. They’ve probably murdered lots of people. How many more will they murder before they’re stopped? And how many of those will be on my conscience if I don’t do something?
I made up my mind.
I had no idea where to find the men in gray suits, but I knew where Zachery and his friends should be. As soon as school let out, I ran straight to the high school.
I remembered how nobody paid any attention to me when I walked into Goss, so I just acted like I belonged there. As I expected, no one seemed to even notice me.
But I ended up standing in the hallway, looking around, wondering what I was even doing there. I had no idea where Zachery or his friends might be. They’d probably left as soon as the last bell rang. As afraid as he was of the fat man—and I didn’t blame him one bit—he might not waste time lingering at the school.
I began to think that maybe I should go back to Goss. Maybe that’s where they always met. But then someone said my name.
It was Sherry. She was walking down the hallway, straight toward me. “What’re you doing here?” she asked.
What was I doing there? I stared at her, my mouth half-open, searching my brain for an answer that made any kind of sense, but I simply couldn’t think of one. I had nothing.
She stopped right in front of me. I’m not sure if I mentioned just how pretty Sherry Jolinger is. She has these big, incredible brown eyes and this sweet, round face. All her features are little and cute and flawless. I’ve never seen a blemish on her skin. I was always a little in awe of her back when she used to babysit me. So yeah, she was a little bit distracting. But at that moment, it wasn’t her beauty that I found distracting. For that one, horrible second, all I could think was that she’d know I’d been spying on her. She’d tell Zachery. Zachery would tell the men in the gray suits. And then they’d know who I was and where I lived.
I know it was irrational. I was standing in the high school hallway. It wasn’t as if she’d caught me in the act of spying on one of their secret meetings. But at the time, I couldn’t think straight. I was caught completely off guard. I hadn’t thought to prepare an excuse for being at the high school.
“Don’t tell me you’re trying to see if that stupid rumor about Edna Lufney is true.”
I’m pretty sure I looked like a complete idiot. The only thing I could think to say was, “Huh?”
“You’re cute when you play dumb,” she laughed.
I don’t mind that she thought I was cute, but I wasn’t playing. I was just plain dumb.
“It’s a lie. Her little brother made it up and spread it around. So you and all your dirty little friends can stop snooping around here every day after school.”
I still didn’t know what she was talking about. I hadn’t heard any rumors. I didn’t even know who Edna Lufney was. But I said, “Okay,” and nodded.
“Don’t believe everything you hear,” she warned me. “Go on home.” And with that, she turned and walked away. I didn’t even get to hear the rumor. It sounded like a good one, too. I’d have to ask around about it.
But right now there were more important things than rumors. And as I watched her walk away, that image of her lying still and lifeless at Zachery’s feet flashed through my mind. Panicked, I called out to her.
She turned and looked at me.
I almost told her that I knew what she’d been up to. I almost told her she’d die. But I held it back somehow. Instead, I asked, “Do you know where Zachery is?”
“I think he was going to the library,” she replied, looking puzzled. “I didn’t know you knew Zachery.”
Again, I didn’t know what to say. That happened a lot around Sherry. She probably thinks I’m the weirdest kid in the world.
She started to turn around again. I should’ve let her go, but I couldn’t. “Be careful,” I blurted. “Don’t… Don’t do anything… You know. Crazy.”
She kind of squinted at me, as if I were the strangest thing she’d ever seen. I didn’t really blame her. “What’re you talking about? What’s gotten into you?”
I wanted to tell her to stay away from Zachery. I wanted to tell her that her life was in danger. But how could I? She’d never believe me. Why should she? The whole thing was crazy. I should’ve turned around and ran away, but I just couldn’t. “I had a dream,” I said. Even as I heard the words come out of my mouth, I cringed. It was so stupid. What was I thinking? “The other night,” I explained. “Something bad happened to you.”
She actually smiled at me. I could barely believe it.
“Awe,” she said. “That’s sweet. But dreams aren’t real. You know that, right?”
“Sometimes they are,” I told her.
She looked at me like I was an adorable puppy. I still can’t decide if that made me really happy or really mad. “I’ll be careful,” she promised.
Then she turned and walked away.
I managed to keep my big mouth shut that time.
Did I do the right thing? I know I did the stupid thing, but was it the right stupid thing or the wrong stupid thing? I mean, maybe she’ll think about me saying that now. Maybe it’ll give her just enough hesitation to back out of whatever danger Zachery is trying to get her into. Or maybe she’ll go straight to him and tell him that her goofy neighbor is acting weird and asking questions about him.
I really wish you could give me some advice. I’m starting to think I really stink at this stuff.
If nothing else at all, however, at least I knew where to find Zachery. I set off for the library.
The librarian was working behind the counter. She didn’t even look up when I walked in. I was starting to feel a little invisible.
I immediately saw Zachery and the other two boys from that meeting the other night. They were in the back corner, sitting at a table. I set off down the nearest aisle, out of sight, and quietly made my way to that side of the room.
My heart was racing again. I was scared to death. Even now, I can’t really believe I did that. If they’d caught me spying on them, who knows what they might’ve done to me?
I plucked a book off the shelf as I walked and pretended to be looking through it, then I made my way to the aisle closest to where they were sitting. Keeping just one shelf of books between me and them, I focused on being as quiet as possible so that they wouldn’t know anyone was there. And in case that failed, I tried to look like I was deeply focused on doing research and not listening in on their conversation.
I honestly didn’t think I’d hear anything. I still wasn’t convinced that I shouldn’t have waited for another dream. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to find that they were only doing homework or talking about football or whatever else teenage boys did in the library when they weren’t plotting something awful with murderous men in gray suits.
“She’s into that kind of thing,” said one of the boys. He was a skinny kid, kind of smallish, with brown hair that needed cut a long time ago.
“A lot of people say they’re into stuff,” countered Zachery.
“That’s right,” agreed the third boy. This was the one with the deep voice. I’d pictured him as big and tall, muscular, but he was short and kind of chubby. “I’ve known a lot of girls who said they were into a lot of stuff. But when it comes to doing the stuff, they ain’t into it nearly as much as they said they were.”
“She means it,” insisted the skinny boy. “Trust me. She’s into all sorts of freaky stuff.”
“I always did think she was kind of weird,” said the chubby boy.
“Kind of hot, though,” said the skinny one.
“If you like that sort of thing,” said the chubby one.
It seemed to be exactly as I expected. They were talking about girls.
But then Zachery said, “We can’t be picky. Obviously, we can’t count on Vera and we’re losing moonlight. It has to happen soon.”
Losing moonlight… That’s what they kept saying at the activity center. And Vera… She was the one who didn’t want to do it. The gray suits told him to forget her and find someone else. It seemed they’d done just that.
“I can’t believe she gave this up,” said the skinny one.
“What about Sherry?” asked the chubby one. “Is she in or out?”
“She’s still on the fence,” replied Zachery.
“And if she says no?” asked the skinny one.
“I have somebody,” he assured them. “Fred Avesley.”
“That goofy kid from gym class?” asked Chubby.
“He’s desperate for attention,” explained Zachery. “He’ll do anything we say just to be included in something.”
“And if we don’t need him?” asked Skinny. “If Sherry shows up for this thing?”
“Then we’ll have an extra. There’s nothing that says we can’t have more than five. We just need at least five.”
“Are you sure you’re reading that thing right?” asked Skinny. “We’re not going to blow this because you mistranslated something, are we?”
Carefully, I peered through the bookshelf at them. I saw Zachery reach into his bag. The book was there. I could see his hand resting on it.
“I know what I’m doing.”
“I’m just asking. You’re the one who said it could be dangerous.”
“It’s not dangerous if you do it right. And I know what I’m doing.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“So when are we doing this?” asked Chubby.
“Soon.”
“How soon?”
Zachery seemed to be getting agitated. “Soon,” he grumbled. “This weekend, I think. So be ready.”
“I’m ready,” Chubby assured him. “The sooner the better. It’s going to be awesome. All our dreams come true!”
“Shut up!” snapped Zachery. “You want someone to hear you?”
“You shut up,” returned Chubby. “Nobody cares what we’re talking about back here.”
“I don’t care. Just shut up. We’re done talking about it.”
“Fine. Whatever. I’ve got to go anyway.”
“And I’ve got to use the restroom,” announced Skinny.
They both stood up and I knelt down and began looking through the books on the lowest shelf. I hoped I’d made myself too small to notice, and it seemed to work. Nobody paid any attention to me.
I knelt there for a while after they had both walked away, determined not to draw any attention to myself. Then, finally, I glanced back and saw that Zachery, too, had stood up and stepped away from the table to use the card index. He was only about ten feet away, but his back was to the table.
His bag was right where he’d left it.
I wasn’t going to get another chance like this one. I crept out from behind the bookshelf and hurried over to the table. Quickly, I snagged the book, replaced it with the one I was holding, and then ducked back out of sight again.
My heart was racing now. There was no turning back. I had only seconds before Zachery returned and I had no idea how long it might take him to find that it was gone. I was hoping that the book I slipped into his bag would buy me some extra time, but it was more than possible that he’d see it was gone as soon as he returned to the table. I made my way around the outermost rows of shelves toward the door, stuffing the book in my bag as I went.
It almost didn’t fit, but I managed, which was good, because if the librarian had spotted me trying to leave with a book, she would’ve stopped me. Then I’d be in real trouble.
But luck was with me. I made it out the door without anyone seeing me.
It took every bit of willpower I had not to run, but I managed. Even when the skinny boy stepped out of the bathroom in front of me, I somehow managed not to panic. He didn’t pay me any attention.
I went out the front doors and just kept walking, my heart thumping in my chest. By now there weren’t very many people around. There was no crowd to blend into. I felt so vulnerable. It was all I could do to keep from running away. But if Zachery and his friend burst out of the building at that moment and saw me running, they might assume that I was the thief. And I wasn’t very confident that I could outrun them both.
But they didn’t come after me. Either they hadn’t discovered that the book was missing yet or they were still searching inside the school.
I made it to the park. That’s where I am now. That’s where I’m writing this letter, with my bag beside me. The book is safely hidden away inside. No one’s come looking for me yet. But it makes me sick that I had to run into Sherry like that. I keep imagining Zachery telling her that someone stole his book and her telling him I was looking for him.
He’ll put it together. He’ll know it was me.
I’m sure of it.
I’ve got to go now. If I’m not home soon, my mom’s going to start asking questions. And I’d really rather avoid that.
Be careful out there.