Jacob had been a free man for two weeks and as such, he’d continued to sleep in his own bed.
One morning he woke up, but didn’t immediately get out of bed. Instead he lay staring up at the ceiling. He was still considering his options, which he did every morning almost like a meditation. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? he’d ask himself. Throughout his years on the Livingstone property he hadn’t given his future the slightest thought. Except, of course, for finding Peter. But that didn’t seem to be working out. He’d given Peter’s letter to Polly to post a fortnight ago. He must have received it by now. Perhaps, as Polly had said, things had changed. While he had kept the flame of love for Peter alive, Peter had let his flicker and dim.
But he’d heard from his family. Hearing from them, despite the news of his baby sister passing away, had done more for his spirits than even the Certificate of Freedom. Knowing his mother was alive had overjoyed him.
At first, he’d been a little confused. He still had the original, unposted letter in his possession. Then one evening, just two days after receiving both his letters, Jasper had explained.
“Originally, I’d hidden your letter at the bottom of my drawer. Then about a year ago, I came across it again. Feeling guilty for not having posted the original, I wrote your family a letter myself.”
Jacob looked a little bewildered. “Why didn’t you post the original?”
Jasper smiled. “In all the time we’d lived together, it was the only thing of yours I had to keep for myself to remember you by. I could look at it whenever I wanted. I could touch it knowing you had touched it. And I’d always have it to remind me of you.” He looked tenderly at Jacob, though there was a sadness in his eyes. “So I rewrote your letter, word for word, although I have to admit I did alter the spelling of a few words.”
“Were there many mistakes?”
Jasper cleared his throat. “Just one or two. Now stop interrupting. As I was saying, I rewrote your letter word for word and posted it a year ago. By that stage we were sleeping in the same bed and we were practically a couple. The reasons I had for not posting the original letter no longer existed.”
“So why didn’t you tell me any of this the other night?”
“Since I’d sent the letter so long ago, as I said, a year ago, possibly longer, and hadn’t heard back, I could only assume some tragedy had befallen your family. I thought it better to let you think I was a wicked wretch than for you to think anything untoward had happened to your mother, or any other family member.”
Jacob shook his head forlornly. “All the things I said to you. And the way I behaved. I’m so ashamed. After you’ve been so good to me and all.”
He couldn’t have felt more contemptible.
“Don’t be so hasty to scold yourself. I purposely and selfishly withheld the letter in the first place. It was wrong of me, and again, I apologise. I never wanted to hurt you, and as you may have deduced, it was my own insecurities and selfishness that urged me to resort to such tactics.”
Jasper’s big words were confusing and Jacob quite often found he had no idea what his master was saying. However, he understood enough to know Jasper truly regretted his actions, and with all he’d done to prove he was genuinely sorry, how could Jacob stay angry at him?
“I’m sorry,” he said, hugging Jasper to him. “I behaved like an absolute cad.”
Jacob pulled away from the hug. “One more thing,” he said. “Did the letter and the Certificate of Freedom arrive on the same day? I mean were they both waiting for you when you picked them up?”
“Yes, they were. Why?”
Jacob shrugged. “No reason. Just wondering.”
When he realised how long he’d been lying in bed, recounting the conversation of almost a fortnight earlier, he leapt out of bed and dressed. He may have been a free man, but he wasn’t living under Jasper’s roof free of charge.
In the kitchen, Polly was busy scrubbing the floor.
“Nice for some,”‘ she said. “What time do you call this to be coming in?”
“How late is it?”
“Late enough for the master to have come looking for his breakfast.”
Jacob smiled. “Did you give it to him or should I take it in to him?”
“Don’t worry, my love. He’s had it and gone out for a ride. There’s some on the stove for you. You can make your own toast since you’re a man of leisure.”
Jacob laughed. “I hardly think I’m man of leisure. In fact, now I’m a free man, I’m going to have to earn my keep. Then I’ll find out what hard work is.”
Polly laughed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t talk to me about hard work. Look at me. I’m not down here smelling the roses.”
Jacob fixed himself some breakfast and had just sat down to eat it when there was a knock at the back door. Polly went to get up.
“Stay there,” said Jacob. “I’ll get it.” He looked puzzled. “Are you expecting anyone?”
Polly shook her head.
Jacob peered around the corner of the mud room. It was a man, standing with his back to the door. Not Paddy and not anyone else he recognised.
“Can I help you?”
The man removed his hat and turned around.
“Peter?” He couldn’t be sure. There were a few more lines on his suntanned face and he was a little more solid, but there was no mistaking that smile. “Peter!”
Peter opened his arms and Jacob was in them like a flash, embracing Peter tightly and not quite believing this was really happening.
Peter chuckled. “So you missed me then?”
Polly came around the corner, smiling her wide Polly-smile.
“Now this I have to see,” she said, holding her hand out. “I’m Polly.”
Peter shook her hand.
“And I’m…”
“Peter,” she said. “Yes, I heard. I think Paddy over in the stable heard. Come in. Come in. I’ll fix some tea and I think there’s some breakfast left.”
Jacob stood to one side and Peter followed Polly into the kitchen.
“Now both of you sit down and let me fix you some tea.”
“What are you doing here?” asked Jacob. “I can’t believe it. Did you get my letter? I was beginning to think it hadn’t arrived. Did you get it?”
Peter laughed. “If you shut up for a minute, I’ll answer you.”
Jacob glanced at Polly, who winked at him.
“Yes, I got your letter, but rather than write back, I thought I’d come and see you. It’s my day off and the master lent me his horse. I can’t believe you’ve been this close to me the whole time. And look at you. You’ve filled out. Grown more handsome, too.”
Jacob studied Peter’s face as he spoke. There was some grey around his temples and, yes, a few wrinkles, mainly around the eyes. They were accentuated when he laughed, but they lent his face character and added to his attractiveness. He’d shaved for the occasion, that morning if Jacob wasn’t mistaken, though he’d grown an impressive pair of sideburns.
“I’ve never forgotten you,” said Jacob. “You’re still so handsome.” He turned about in his chair, looking over his shoulder at Polly. “Polly, do you think we could have our tea later?”
Polly grinned. “I think that’s entirely possible, my love.”
“Thank you,” he said, grabbing Peter’s hand. “Come with me.”
He hurried from the kitchen, leading Peter out through the mud room, across the grass, to his room. Once they were inside, he slammed the door shut and hugged Peter close to him.
“All I could think about in there was holding you close to me,” he said. “Kissing you and…”
Peter took Jacob’s face in his hands and kissed him, feverishly, passionately, pushing his tongue into his mouth. He backed Jacob up to the door and pressed his body against his, while simultaneously unbuttoning his shirt. Soon both men were undressing, their lips remaining pressed together until they had to part to remove their boots and socks.
Jacob took Peter by the hand and led him to the bed. Without a single word, Jacob lay down on his back, pulling Peter down on top of him. Their lips came together once more, hungrily kissing, sucking, tasting. Their warm breath mingling.
Jacob could feel Peter’s thick erection grinding against his thigh. He could feel the wetness dribbling from the tip, coating his lightly-haired flesh. He wanted it inside him; to feel the man he loved, that he’d never stopped loving, penetrate him.
He reached down and began playing with Peter’s cock, smearing the sticky lubrication over Peter’s cockhead. For a brief moment he pulled away from Peter’s lips and spat into his hand. Peter grabbed Jacob’s hand and held it steady while he added his own spittle. As their lips came together once more, Jacob smeared their combined saliva over Peter’s erection.
When Peter’s cock was slick enough, Jacob spread his legs wider to better accommodate Peter’s broad, muscular body. With a sense of urgency, he guided Peter’s cock to his arsehole. After a couple of failed, fumbled attempts, Peter’s cock slid into Jacob, slowly stretching his arsehole wide as it slid in. The first moment of pain was exquisite. Jasper’s cock had been adequate, but Peter’s cock filled him completely.
As the last inch slid into Jacob, Peter moaned; the sound muffled by Jacob’s mouth upon his. Slowly he began to thrust in, gyrating his hips a little so that Jacob was writhing beneath him.
“Oh, you like that?” he whispered.
“Yes,” Jacob moaned as his hands gripped Peter’s buttocks, pulling him down, deeper into him.
Peter began thrusting a little faster, a little harder, and Jacob began bucking his hips up to meet each thrust. Jacob’s hands were all over Peter’s back, feeling him, holding him, pulling him closer. Their kisses became wild, animalistic. Peter was now slamming into him, impaling him on his massive organ. The whole bed was bouncing, the bedposts hitting the wall with rhythmic bangs. Then suddenly Peter thrust in, arching his back and holding his hips hard up against Jacob’s body, using his arms, on either side of Jacob, for support. He closed his eyes and an expression, midway between pain and ecstasy, appeared on his face.
Jacob smiled, watching the signs of Peter’s orgasm play out upon his face.
He pressed his hips in harder, delivering the last of his seed into Jacob before rolling off onto the mattress beside him.
“Not much room on your bed, is there?” said Peter.
Jacob laughed. “I don’t think the master had this in mind when he bought it.”
Peter manoeuvred himself onto his side and began kissing Jacob.
“I can’t stop kissing you,” he said. “We have a lot of years to catch up on.”
Jacob felt his eyes water. “I’m so happy,” he said. “Look at me. Blubbing like a baby. I can’t help it.”
Peter reached down and took Jacob’s erect cock in his hand. He stroked it for a while before replacing his hand with Jacob’s.
“You do it,” he said.
Peter slipped his hand down between Jacob’s legs and eased his index finger into Jacob’s arsehole. He began fucking him with his finger the same way he’d done with his cock. At the same time, he took his lips from Jacob’s mouth and placed them on Jacob’s nipple, gentle flicking the tiny nub with the tip of his tongue.
Jacob shuddered as Peter’s tongue worked its magic. Warm waves swept through his body, rendering his skin highly sensitive to the slightest touch. When Peter leaned across him to suck his other nipple, Jacob groaned and shuddered. Every part of his body tingled with pleasure.
Then Peter slid two fingers into his arsehole.
Jacob inhaled sharply and felt his cock explode over Peter’s torso.
“Did you like that?” Peter asked with grin, as if he couldn’t tell from the way Jacob’s body was still quivering.
Jacob lay with his eyes closed for a moment, wishing he could feel that way forever; never wanting Peter to leave his side, though knowing sooner or later he’d have to. At least for a while.
“I’ve got my Certificate of Freedom,” he said, completely out of the blue. Peter kissed him. “Have you got yours?”
Peter shook his head. “Not yet. My master has only recently applied for it.” He kissed Jacob again. “It shouldn’t be long, though.”
“What are your plans when you do get it?”
Peter looked into Jacob’s eyes and smiled. “I want to apply for a land grant, build a house, start a farm. I’ve learned a lot here. Got skills I never would have got back in England. I think I can make a good living from farming. What about you? What are your plans?”
Jacob sighed. “I haven’t thought about it. I know it sounds odd, but seven years have passed by quite quickly. The work here hasn’t been hard. Not really. I was surrounded, mostly, by good people. I enjoyed my time so much I didn’t think about it ending one day.”
Peter smiled. “What about you come and live with me on my farm?”
“I don’t know anything about farming.”
Peter slapped him on the thigh. “That’s not what I meant.” He laughed. “I meant come and live with me on my farm so we can do this every evening and every morning.”
Jacob laughed. “I could grow accustomed to that.”
Peter rolled on top of him and they kissed some more before Jacob pushed him off.
“We should go and eat something. Polly will be wondering if we’ve run off to join the blacks.”
They cleaned up and dressed, barely able to keep their hands and lips off each other, but somehow managing to complete the task.
Polly gave them a suspicious look when they arrived back in the kitchen.
“You two look like you’ve been for a very brisk walk,” she said, barely able to hide her mirth.
“Yes, the mid-morning sun does the soul a lot of good,” Jacob replied.
He and Peter took a seat at the table.
“Well, I’d best get you something to eat. Replace all that energy you used up on your…walk.”
The two men finished their breakfast and decided to go for a walk. An honest to goodness one this time. On the way, Jacob introduced Peter to Paddy.
“Yes, I had the pleasure earlier,” said Paddy as he shook Peter’s hand.
“Pleased to meet you again, Paddy,” said Peter.
Afterwards Jacob explained, “Him and Polly are soon to be married.”
“Husband and wife, huh?” said Peter. “Just like you and me.”
“You’re the wife,” said Jacob.
Peter shoved him playfully. “Think again.”
Jacob showed Peter the orchard. They walked up and down the rows of oranges and lemons, filling each other in on what had happened to them over the past seven years, or at least as much of it as they could in the time they had. He then took Peter across to the other side of the property, to the river, where all those years ago he’d watched Samuel bathing, although he decided it wasn’t a good idea to tell Peter that particular story. They sat for a while in the grass, with Peter’s back against the trunk of a tree and Jacob between his legs, resting his head on Peter’s shoulder. The babble of the river water rushing eternally over the rocks was calming, and the air was full of pleasant bird song.
They spent a few moments in silence, contented just to be in each other’s company.
“This feels like paradise,” said Jacob finally.
Peter made a noise of agreement. “It’s beautiful. Relaxing.”
“Being here with you. It seems like a dream.”
“It’s a dream that has to end,” said Peter. “At least for now. It’s getting late and I’ve got quite a ride ahead of me.”
Reluctantly, Jacob stood up. He took Peter’s hands and pulled him to his feet. They returned through the bush and across the grassy clearing, which was soon to become a new orchard.
“Do you always have Sundays free?” asked Peter.
“I’m a free man, Peter. Every day is free,” Jacob replied. He punched the sky. “That makes me feel so good when I say it out loud.”
Peter laughed. “Unfortunately some of us are still convicts. With only Sunday’s free. How about another visit next week?”
Jacob grabbed Peter’s firm buttock and squeezed. “I say Sunday can’t come fast enough.”
After saying goodbye to Polly, who hugged Peter and kissed him on the cheek as if she’d known him her whole life, Jacob walked with Peter to the stable, where Paddy had Peter’s horse ready. There were no kisses, but while Paddy was on the other side of the horse, holding the reins while Peter mounted it, Jacob kept his hand on Peter’s leg, wanting to be in physical contact with him until the last possible moment. Then with a wink and a smile, Peter was trotting down the track towards the front gate.
“He’s a good man, that friend of yours,” said Paddy.
“That he is,” said Jacob. “That he is.”
Since he was at the stable, he loaded up his arms with firewood.
“What did you think of him?” Jacob asked as he unloaded his cargo of firewood into the alcove by the stove.
“I think that if I wasn’t so head over heels for dear Paddy out there, I’d be wrestling you for him,” she said.
“I’d fight pretty dirty to keep him,” said Jacob, “so I wouldn’t like your chances.”
They chuckled together.
“Would you like some tea, Polly?” asked Jacob.
“Since I don’t have to make it for once, I’ll say yes, please.”
Jacob got the tin of tea leaves down.
“You know, Polly, I’ve always wondered something about you.”
Polly looked dramatically nervous. “Is it my tail you’re wanting to know about?”
Jacob laughed. “No, it’s the way you don’t care about me. I mean, about what I am.”
“And what are you?” asked Polly. “You’re a fine looking man, kind, and hard working. You enjoy a laugh and you like me so you must have good taste.”
“No, I mean the way I am. With other men.”
“Oh I see,” said Polly. “There’s no mystery to it. I had an uncle that was the same way. He preferred the fellas to the girls. Of course, he kept it well hidden, though somehow the other villagers knew he just wasn’t the same as the other menfolk. They gave him a pretty hard time, the blighters. Did some downright dirty things to him. Persecuted the poor man. I saw what he had to go through.”
“What happened to him?”
“One day he couldn’t abide it anymore. He walked into the sea and never came out again.” She paused. Her eyes became misty and she sniffed. “A kinder man you couldn’t have found and they drove him to take his own life. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling so bad as to want to do myself in. So, as you can see, that’s why it doesn’t bother me the way it does some.”
“I appreciate it, Polly. Some would report me to the authorities. I don’t feel I’m doing anything wrong. Not hurting anyone. I knew what I was doing when I stole those apples, all those years ago. I knew that was wrong. Even though I had a good reason to steal them, I didn’t have to. I chose to do it.”
Jacob walked to the stove to attend the boiling kettle.
“I didn’t choose to fall in love with another man. They say it’s unnatural. It seems natural enough to me. To Peter and Jasper as well, I daresay.”
Polly shook her head.
“I agree with you wholeheartedly. I don’t see how loving anyone can be wrong. As long as you’re not doing it right there on the table in front of me.”
They looked at each other and burst into laughter.
“What’s going on here?” asked Jasper.
He removed his riding hat and Jacob jumped up from the table to help him off with his coat and boots.
“Just sharing a joke, sir,” said Polly.
“Have we had a visitor?” asked Jasper. “I passed a man on the road, riding towards town.”
“Yes we did. A friend of mine from a very long time ago.”
Jasper’s smile wavered, though he forced it back into place. “A friend. I’ve never heard you talk of any friends.”
Jacob put Jasper’s boots on a small wooden rack in the mud room to be cleaned later then returned to the kitchen.
“He’s a friend I haven’t seen for many years” said Jacob. “A friend I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again.”
“Uh-huh,” said Jasper. “Polly, can you make some tea and sandwiches? I missed out on lunch and I’m famished.” Jasper walked to the interior door. “Bring it into the drawing room when it’s ready, Jacob.”
As the door shut, Polly looked at Jacob.
“I’d say there was a touch of the green-eyed monster there,” said Polly. “Go carefully, my love”
Jacob took Jasper’s tea and sandwiches into the drawing room. He poured the tea and handed Jasper the saucer, all the while expecting to be interrogated about Peter’s visit. He lingered over each task, giving Jasper enough time to question him, and when he didn’t, Jacob decided it was safe to take his leave and so he walked to the door and opened it.
“Was his name Peter?” asked Jasper.
Jacob felt his heart race. He took a breath to settle himself then turned to face Jasper.
“Yes, it was. How did you…?”
Jasper sipped his tea. “I remember the short exchange between you and Mister Prewitt. Your face lit up when you heard Peter’s name mentioned.”
“I have no doubt it did,” Jacob admitted. “I spent a long time with him on the Poseidon. He was my only friend.”
“Just a friend?” asked Jasper. “Or was there more?”
“Why are you asking me, Jasper? My answers won’t please you. I don’t see what good it will do to continue this conversation.”
Jasper put his tea down on the table. “I’m merely enquiring about your friend. You’ve met my friends on numerous occasions when they’ve visited. I, on the other hand, have only just found out you have a friend in the colony.”
Jacob’s heart was pounding. He was indeed a free man, but a free man with no accommodation, other than his present accommodation, and no money. If Jasper became angry, or jealous, what would happen then?
“Do you love him?”
Jacob didn’t want to lie, nor did he want to tell the truth.
“I love all my friends.”
Jasper leapt from his chair. “That’s not what I mean!” he snapped.
Jacob froze on the spot, his eyes wide.
“I’m sorry,” said Jasper. “You…you exasperate me sometimes.”
Jacob didn’t know what exasperate meant, although he suspected it couldn’t have been anything good.
“I don’t want to tell you about Peter because I can see what hearing about him is doing to you,” Jacob explained. “You’re angry, even now, and I can’t think why.”
Jasper walked a small circle around the carpet. “You can’t think why? You can’t think why? I think you might have an inkling, Jacob.” He glared at Jacob. His face had become red, and his breathing erratic. “Let me tell you why. I love you, Jacob. You know I love you. I’ve told you often enough. And this man comes riding onto my property, my property, after years of not contacting you, and steals you away.”
A dozen thoughts raced through Jacob’s head—words of comfort, words of explanation, words of apology—but he could see that none of them would calm the green-eyed monster in Jasper.
“I think it best if I go and change out of my clothes,” he said quietly. “I’ll be gone by dinner.”
He walked from the drawing room to the kitchen.
“Polly, I’m going now.”
Polly looked up from her vegetables. “Where are you going?”
“Away,” he said. “It’s best I go.”
Polly’s eyes brimmed with tears. She hurried across to Jacob and hugged him to her. “But where will you go? You have no money. Where will you sleep?”
Jacob could only shake his head.
He pushed Polly gently away. “You’ll always be a dear friend to me, Polly. I hope we’ll see each other again.”
“Wait,” said Polly. “At least let me give you a couple of coins.”
“No, Polly. You’ve done enough for me already.”
He walked to his room and began undressing, though a noise at the door startled him.
It was Jasper and his eyes were moist with tears.
“Don’t go,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
Jacob shook his head. “I love Peter,” he said. “I love him and I’m in love with him. I always have been.” He averted his eyes. “I know you’re in love me and that’s the problem. That’s why I have to leave. You’ve been good to me. Very good to me. I couldn’t have asked for a better master. I don’t want to stay here if it upsets you, nor do I want to hurt you, but it’s Peter my heart wants.”
Jasper began sobbing uncontrollably.
It was disconcerting for Jacob to see his master in such a state.
“Did you ever love me?” asked Jasper.
“I love you as a friend and as a wonderful, caring man,” said Jacob. “And I’ll always love you in that way.”
Jasper held his arms out, but Jacob hesitated. Wouldn’t it only cause Jasper more anguish? Jasper jerked his arms impatiently and Jacob relented. For a few minutes they stood, embracing while Jasper sobbed on Jacob’s shoulder.
“It hasn’t been an easy day for me,” said Jasper. “I knew when you got your Certificate of Freedom, you’d leave me. I didn’t know you’d be leaving me for someone else.”
“I didn’t know either. Until today,” said Jacob.
Silence. Then Jasper pulled back from Jacob, enough for him to be able to look Jacob in the eye. He sniffed and wiped his nose on the cuff of his shirt.
“Forgive me,” he said. He took a deep breath. “I’ve been behaving like a child. I should be ashamed.” He sniffed again. “I’d like you to stay here, in your room, until you’re ready to leave.”
Jacob went to protest.
“Listen to me.” He took Jacob by the shoulders. “Where would you go? You have nowhere to go. You’d have to sleep under trees and get rained on and sunburnt.” He attempted a smile, but failed. “I want you to stay here, as my guest. And your friend, Peter, is welcome to visit you. However, I have to confess I’m not a big enough man to meet him and talk to him, so please promise me you’ll let me know when he’s expected so I don’t run into him by accident.”
Again Jacob opened his mouth to speak.
Jasper held a finger up. “No. No. No. I insist. My offer goes part of the way to making up for the absolute fool I’ve made of myself. The Lord above knows I’d dread for your last memory of me to be this jealous, blithering mess. Hardly befitting a man of middle-age.”
Jacob smiled at Jasper and cupped his face with a single hand. It silenced Jasper, and calmed him.
“Now let me speak,” he said. “First of all, if I stay here, I’ll work as I’ve always done.”
“Then I shall pay you as I pay Polly.”
“Shhh,” said Jacob. “Secondly, I shall tell you when Peter is visiting. Next Sunday.” He felt Jasper tense beneath the palm of his hand. “I shall make a picnic and take him to the river so we’ll be out of your way.”
Jasper lowered his eyelids, silently acknowledging what Jacob had said.
“And finally, when I do leave, I won’t remember you in a bad way. Never, ever could I think badly of you. I’ll remember you as a kind, loving, generous man. A man who taught me more than I can ever say, and a man I hope will forever be a friend.”
Jasper grew teary again. He nodded. “I should go,” he said. “And if you’re supposed to be working then I suggest you put your work clothes back on.”
Jacob laughed. “But it’s Sunday. It’s my free day.”
Jasper laughed through his tears and was about to turn around when he looked at Jacob with a puzzled expression on his face. “But you had your work clothes on before.”
Jacob laughed. “I know. I woke up this morning and forgot what day it was. It’s been a strange week.”
Jasper left the room and Jacob watched him walk across the grass to the house. Afterwards, Jacob sat on the side of his bed and wondered if he was doing the right thing by staying. Naturally, it was a better option than sleeping under ferns and eating insects. Besides, it wouldn’t be for long. He’d ask Peter the following Sunday if he had any ideas.