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I PICKED UP HOLDEN to take him to the funeral. We figured it’d be better for me to drive. He was too emotional. Dad had offered to drive Holden and me but I'd refused. I didn't want Holden exposed to questioning from my family.
We planned to leave town straight afterward, so I’d packed my bag and Holden checked out of his hotel room.
“Let’s do this thing,” he said, forcing a grin.
They'd asked him to be a pallbearer but he'd declined. Instead, his cousins did it.
Apart from the King clan, the service was filled with people who'd never spoken to Lionel King his entire life. They'd all come to gossip and snoop.
We walked to the front pew of the church. Before he could sit down, his mother began wailing. One of his uncles wrapped his arm around her. Holden hesitated and shook his head, then headed for the back of the church.
I slid in beside him and smoothed out my dress. I had no idea what was going through Holden’s mind as he sat there. People came into the church and stared at him, turning away when he met their eye. I grabbed his hand and we sat with our shoulders touching throughout the service.
The words they spoke meant nothing. They'd not known the man. He sounded like a saint after his death. No mention of him getting drunk and beating his wife. Nothing about the hundreds of wrongs he'd done. Maybe they were better off buried with him. It’d do no one any good to rake over the dirt.
When we left the church, people came over to shake Holden's hand. I fended them off and got Holden to the car. A few cameras went off, getting shots of us together. The buzz of whispers increased as more people came out.
When we were safely in the car, we smiled at each other. Sad smiles that would help us get through the rest of the day.
"Are you sure you want to go to the cemetery?" I asked. "We could just leave."
"Let's see this through."
I spun gravel leaving the parking lot and we got to the cemetery before anyone else.
I lit up a cigarette. “Nice day for a funeral.”
From the parking lot at the top of the hill, you could see all over the town. It looked like such a peaceful place.
We walked, hand in hand, down the hill to the graveside. The sun scorched the earth as we stood. The burial was over quickly.
“Are you going to talk to your family before we leave?” I asked Holden. It seemed stupid for him to come all this way and not even greet them.
He shook his head.
“They aren’t my family,” he said. “You are. You’re the only family I’ve ever had.”
We walked back to the car trying not to rush too fast.
"Holden King," a girl screamed when we were halfway to the car. "I thought it was you. I had to come over and say hello. Wow, I always knew you'd hit the big time.”
I recognized her. She'd been one of the popular girls at school. I don't think she'd ever spoken to either of us before but she stroked Holden's arm like they were best friends.
“Can we just have one photo together?”
That was so inappropriate. At his father’s funeral even. My pulse quickened. I shot her a look and opened my mouth. Then I shut it again and gulped down the words that formed in my throat.
This was Holden King. Even if he was mine, he’d be public property. No matter where we went or what we did, there’d be a girl and she’d want a photo with him. She’d stand too close and she’d rub her tits against him. Hell, she’d even try to dry hump him.
I’d never like it or accept it but it was what it was. I couldn’t punch every fan, even if I wanted to. I couldn’t build a wall around him and make him exclusively mine.
Holden grabbed her arm and pulled it off him.
"Do I know you?" he said.
She opened her mouth to answer him but he cut her down with a single glance.
The two of us walked to the car and Holden got behind the wheel, tearing off and leaving that small town as a dot in our rear vision mirror. I might never come back again and I was fine with that. I would make more of an effort to keep in touch with Mum and Dad, though.
We had music blaring on the stereo, our lives in front of us, and a tiny bit more wisdom than the last time we’d left.
I’d even managed to stay with my parents without any fights. I’d never thought that was possible.
I reached over to change the music.
“You’re wearing my ring,” Holden said. “That means you want to spend an eternity with me.”
I held up my hand with that cheap, plastic ring on my finger.
“This thing, phht, it’s hardly likely to last eternity. I just put it on so I didn’t lose it.” I twisted the ring on my finger and didn’t look at him.
“Yeah, right. You love me, Carlie. Admit it. You love me with your whole heart. You belong to me and you’ll be mine forever.”
“I’m not...” Who was I kidding? I didn’t need to put on this tough act with Holden. “Yeah, okay, I love you. I’ve said it. Are you happy now?”
“Hell yeah, I’m happy. I’m going to pull over here so I can kiss the fuck out of you without crashing the car.”
I thought he was joking until we came skidding to a stop at the side of the road.
What did I care about his fans? They could have their few moments of glory with him. I’d smile and pretend it was okay. Because I was the one he’d come home to.
Holden King loved me and I was his rock princess.