Ever
The agony of waiting for the call to come hurt as much as if she had been stabbed in the chest. Every beat of her heart tightened the fist of anxiety that had been building in her chest since the moment she’d witnessed the sheer panic on Loki’s face when he realized Erika was in danger. The not knowing whether the closest thing to a sister she had was okay—because that’s what Erika had become to her, the Ever Chace her—was unbearable.
Ever wrapped the blanket around her tighter while she gazed into the waning night. Knees to her chest, she sat on her patio, braving the cold winter air but sheltered from the smattering of rain that had begun to fall. Ever likened the raindrops to a slow, steady stream of tears, silent in their mourning. The awning above kept her dry, though she wasn’t certain how much time had lapsed since Loki’s disappearance. For a time, she had paced the house, shouting Loki’s name and cursing him in the same breath until, exhausted, she had curled up outside on a folding deck chair.
The night seemed to have closed in on her suddenly, engulfing her in black. It matched her mood though, as if the darkness surrounding her was an impending omen of doom.
Ever hoped with all her heart it was not.
The phone in her lap began to ring, and Ever scrambled to answer it.
“Derek? What’s happened? Is she okay? Why didn’t you ring sooner?”
“Ever…” His voice instantly calmed the fluttering of her heart. “She’s okay, I promise. A little battered and bruised—and stubborn, since she’s refusing to stay in the hospital—but okay.”
Ever knew why her friend did not want to go to hospital. Her wounds would start to heal themselves soon, and Erika would not risk anyone knowing their secret until Ever was ready. If she would ever really be ready.
“Is she on her way home? Is everyone else okay? Are you?”
Ever knew she was rambling, but Derek didn’t seem to notice.
“I’m on my way with her now. I just came back after dropping Ricky off. I’ll see you when I arrive.”
“Okay. And Derek?”
“Yes, Ever?”
The way he spoke her name sent little shivers along her spine. “Thank you for trusting me. And for bringing her home.”
“As you said, Erika’s family. And I trust you, Ever. Always. We can talk more when I get there.”
Derek hung up without waiting for her response, and Ever knew she had to come clean with him. It was time to tell him all the gory details of their past lives together, and to let him decide where they went from there. Ever would not bind him to her again without him knowing all the facts. She loved him, the Derek Doyle in this lifetime, but there was no denying that the initial attraction could have been purely due to magic. Ever needed to know that this time would be different, that it could be different.
The flutter of wings snagged Ever’s attention as a jet-black bird landed on the seat opposite her. It was larger than a crow, but smaller than a seagull. The bird opened its beak and cawed at her, tilting its head in a very human way. They stared at each other for a tense minute, and Ever’s grasp on the dagger hidden under her blanket tightened. Even as she cautiously pulled out the dagger, the bird looked on with a slightly amused twinkle in its endless black eyes.
Or perhaps she was imaging things.
“Hello, daughter.”
The words sounded in her head, but Ever recognised the voice the instant he spoke. It was Odin, her father.
“What do you want?” Ever asked aloud, not wanting to have this conversation with him in her head. It felt too intimate, too personal.
“I wish to see if you are well. Unfortunately, I am not well enough to visit you in person, but Muginn allows me to speak with you instead. He is a marvellous raven, is he not?”
“You’re not welcome here, Odin. I want nothing to do with you.”
A deep chuckle sounded inside her mind and wrung a shudder from her. It was the sound of a man who was amused by those lesser than himself, who truly believed he was all powerful and could not be stopped, who knew her death was inevitable and only a matter of time.
Ever could feel the power of Odin in her mind, crawling along her skin, and it terrified her.
“It is lovely, daughter mine, to hear that you have not changed much from the young woman I loved as much as I could. That spark, that fire still burns inside you no matter how many lives you live. That backbone comes from your mother. It is why I chose her to warm my bed.”
“As much as this reunion is touching and all, I think you should leave.”
“Not before I give you an offer. It is more than I have offered any time before as it pains me to see you die and never rise again. Surrender to me, give me the keys to Valhalla, Ever, and I will leave you be. It is all I ever wanted, Valhalla. Give me what I want, and you can be free to do as you please.”
Ever opened her mouth to tell him shove his offer, when Odin spoke again. “You and your wolf can ride off into the sunset, and you will bear me many, many grandchildren. But perhaps I can fatten the ranks of the Valkyrie. Your general is a beautiful woman and has yet to find a mate. And then there is young Marya. She, too, will soon be of age.”
“You will not fucking touch either of them,” Ever growled as she shoved the blanket off her and lashed out at the raven.
The bird flapped its wings and hovered above her, out of reach. It shrieked at her, and Ever braced herself for attack. The rain began to fall heavier now, the wind rising and the awning flapping much like the bird’s wings. The raven rested on the frame of the awning, out of striking distance.
“Let me show you what will happen to those you care for if you do not obey me, Ever. Run from me if you want to protect your friends, but remember, I will win. I always win.”
Ever was thrust into a vision of the future. Smoke and ash crept into her nose, her lungs, her skin, racking a cough from her so intense her lungs hurt. The ground around her feet smouldered, and the buildings in her line of sight had been reduced to nothing but rubble and ruin. The bricks of the police station still flickered with flames as Ever stepped over the threshold and walked among the dead.
Bodies were littered everywhere, and the scent of burning flesh made her gag. She covered her mouth and nose with her hand, trying to ignore the burning under the soles of her shoes. Everywhere she turned, Ever had to step over a body, people she recognised but barely knew. Tears pricked her eyes as she made her way to the charred remains of the P.I.T. squad room.
The door was still aflame, but she pushed through without burning herself. A horrified screech escaped her. The bodies of her friends, of her family, lay abandoned on the ground. Donnie's and Caitlyn's bodies dissipated to ash, their fingers intertwined as they left the mortal world together. Next to them, what Ever could only imagine was Ricky was crumpled on the ground, his hand outstretched and reaching towards another pile of ash—Melanie.
Bile crept up her throat as she spied Tom sitting in his chair, a blackened corpse all that remained of her godfather. A streak of lightning illuminated the sky, and Ever’s eyes darted around at the sound of her name.
Erika raced towards her, dressed in full Valkyrie battle gear, her sword glinting against the wildfire engulfing the people she cared for. Out of the smoke rode Odin on a horse made of nightmares, and as Ever screamed out Erika’s name, Odin raised his staff and ran Erika through with it. The young Valkyrie's eyes widened before Odin yanked back his staff and she fell to the ground.
A sob escaped Ever, an angry burst of sound that willed her to set upon Odin, but she couldn’t move. A flurry of movement caught her eye as Derek shot out of the shadows and changed into a wolf a split-second later, his gigantic jaws poised to latch onto Odin’s neck. Her father raised his staff high in the air as lightning crackled above. Once the bolt engaged with the staff, Odin sent the current towards her mate, her champion.
With a howl, Derek crashed to the ground and fur melted to flesh. Ever darted forward and took his slain body in her arms. Tears now rained down her face as the shadow of the man who called himself her father loomed over her.
“I told you, daughter mine. I told you I would win. Do you see now what disobeying me means? Rule with me, or hand me the keys to Valhalla. Stand against me, and this is the only future you will have. I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me.”
Ever snapped back to the present, the sense of loss so immense her knees buckled and she hit the ground hard. The raven had vanished, gone back to whatever hellhole Odin resided in. The rain began to hammer down on the ground, drenching Ever as she bawled on her knees just outside the awning’s protection. She screamed, a keening banshee of a sound as the rumble of thunder came closer.
Strong arms pulled her up. “It’s okay,” Derek murmured, wrapping his arms around her, engulfing her in his embrace as she began to tremble in anger, in terror, in rage. “It’s over now.”
“No, it’s not,” she whispered back, lingering for a minute before retreating from the safety of Derek’s arms. “It hasn’t even begun.”
When Derek made to take her in his arms once more, Ever shoved away from him.
His handsome face, that perfect mix of rugged angles, those blue eyes tinged with amber stared back at her. The image of Odin striking him down with a bolt of lightning played over and over in her mind. Ever couldn’t watch it happen, couldn’t envision it for real.
Storming inside, Ever locked herself inside her bathroom, opened the cabinet, and yanked out her mother’s bracelet, shoving it into her pocket for now. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten, waiting as the sound of Derek’s voice penetrated the door.
“Ever, everyone’s okay. I swear. You can go see Erika for yourself. She already looks better than she did a couple of hours ago.”
Ever leaned against the sink, looking up at the mirror, the vison of her slain friends and family staring back at her. Plans had changed. Now, Ever would have to protect those she loved from her father, but she needed to be stronger, she needed to be someone else. Decision made, her hand twisted the handle and she yanked the bathroom door open.
Derek was perched on the edge of her bed, his head resting in his hands. Ever watched him from the doorframe, wishing they had had more time, wishing they had been born as other people and that destiny was not such a cruel mistress who, right now, was probably watching in glee as Ever’s world came down around her.
“Derek, I have to tell you something,” she began as her mate, her wolf, lifted his head to look at her.
“Whatever it is, it can wait till morning. Now, I just want to hold you in my arms and remind you how much I love you. That this distance between us has been killing me for weeks, and that all the insecurities you have about me not loving you when you’re grey and old are unfounded. I will love you even when we are separated in this life, and I will love you in the next. I swear, Ever, when our lips touch, I can taste the next sixty years of my life.”
Heart breaking, Ever held up her hand. “Derek, stop. Please. I’m not who you think I am.”
“You are the sun, the moon, the stars, Ever. You are the oxygen I need to breathe.”
Shaking her head, Ever stumbled outside, needing to breathe. Derek followed her as she stood in the rain once again, the wind whipping it against her skin. He made to come closer to her, but Ever held out her hand to halt him.
“You have to listen to me, Derek. I’m not human. I remember who I am, what I am. I remember the lives we have lived together and the agony of all the times we died together. The reason why you love me—why we are so drawn to each other—is because of a curse I willingly put on myself so that I could try and save my people.”
Derek shook his head, clearly not comprehending what Ever was trying to say. Ever threw her hands up in the air. “Derek, I’m the reason why you are standing here today. I’m the reason why you will die, have died many times before—because of who I am and the legacy I must protect. I can’t be with you and keep you safe.”
Erika came into Ever’s view, her arm wrapped around her midriff, her lip split, and her face a purplish tinge. Her eyes sought Ever’s as she leaned against the patio door. Her friend gave a brief nod, and Ever turned her attention back to Derek.
“Ever, I don’t understand what you’re saying. Come inside and get dry so we can talk it over. Whatever you think is wrong, there’s nothing we can’t get through.”
Ever laughed and knew she sounded hysterical. “You don’t get it, Derek. I love you, I really do. You are etched on my soul and in my heart, in every cell. But I can’t watch you die again. I won’t survive it.
“My father is coming to kill me, and he promises to take you all away from me. I can’t allow that to happen. I need all my powers to be able to fight him. I need to remember it all.”
To Erika she said, “I’m ready, systir.”
Erika gave her a little smile. “Then say the words, My Queen, and come back to us.”
Derek glared at Erika, but his eyes darted back to Ever’s a second later. “Ever, I don’t understand what kind of bullshit Erika’s been feeding you, but this isn’t you.”
“Ah,” she sighed, “but my love, it is. I am so, so sorry for this, but Derek, I am not human… I’m a Valkyrie.”
The moment the words left her lips, the sky split open and lightning cracked, lashing out until it struck Ever in the spine and lifted her off the ground. Her entire body felt as if it were on fire, as if the lightning were changing her on a cellular level. The sheer pain of it made her cry out, but the only sound she could hear was the beat of her own heart.
Memories cascaded, slotting like puzzle pieces into place. She became them all, every past version, but still felt like herself. Ever remembered her life on Valhalla, her time in New Orleans, London, Budapest, Marrakesh, Cairo, New Zealand, and Moscow. She remembered the time spent loving Derek under many different names, and the tragedy of losing him over and over. And she remembered the smiles and laughter she had shared with her Valkyrie sisters and the love she held for her brothers. Ever remembered wandering the halls of Asgard, dancing around Yggdrasil in search of the meaning of life, and drinking mead with the gods of Midgard.
A bright golden light shone from her, and power, oh so much power, filled her small frame. It was agony and ecstasy all rolled into one. This was what it felt like to achieve nirvana.
Ever came down from the high as soon as her eyes landed on Derek. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide, switching from amber to blue in a heartbeat. Ever’s toes touched solid ground, and she sucked in a breath. Erika grinned at her, but despite the memories that were now available, Ever felt no different than she had before she’d told Derek she was a Valkyrie.
“So, that’s what you are,” Derek muttered in awe. “Why did you hide this from me, Ever?”
“Because I had to understand what needed to be done, and how I could tell you goodbye.”
Erika stepped onto the patio and said, “It’ll be grand now, Ever. Everything’s out in the open, and we can fight Odin now.”
“Hang on a second—Odin? As in fearsome leader of Norse mythology?”
Ever’s fingers grazed the bracelet in her pocket. “Yes, that Odin. He’s my father.”
“This is unreal.”
“And that’s why I have to leave.”
“Oh, hell no!” Erika exclaimed. “Ever, please don’t do this. Don’t run. I’ve watched you run away before, and it only got you deader.”
“I have to, Erika. And as your queen, you will not stop me.”
“Stall the ball one second,” Derek began, his face full of confusion. “Are you saying that you are not only a Valkyrie, but a queen as well?”
Ever backed away as she said, “Erika will explain it all to you once I’m gone. I am so, so sorry to do this, but I need to buy you all some time by making Odin come after me.”
With every step Ever took backwards, Derek moved forwards, trying to get closer to her. Ever pulled the magical bracelet from her pocket and slipped it onto her wrist. Derek yowled in pain, grabbing hold of his head with both his hands as the mating bond was severed by the magic welded into the bracelet. Ever supposed her mother had woven protections into the bracelet to save her from the pain Derek was feeling, and it made her hate Samhain even more for having left out that consideration for her mate. She wished she could spare Derek from what he was feeling—Ever hated to have him suffer this way—but it was for his own safety.
Erika tried to move towards Ever but winced. She was not in any condition to stop her queen, and Ever was grateful for that. All that Ever could do was buy them time.
Derek staggered on his feet, swaying from the bracelet’s powerful magic.
“I’m sorry, Erika, but I have to go.”
“But we’re supposed to be in this together.”
“Ah, but general, some paths are meant to be wandered alone.”
Turning her attention to Derek, she gave him a small, sad smile as he looked at her in bewilderment and disbelief. “I love you, Derek. Please don’t look for me.”
“Don’t you dare, Ever. Don’t you fucking dare. I will find you. I will search the ends of the earth for you.”
Ever glanced up at the storm-filled sky before she looked back at the man she craved more than her next breath. In a perfect world, it would be just the two of them on a desert island, wrapped in each other’s arms as the water lapped at their feet. But alas, it was not written in the stars for them.
Ever placed a fist over her chest as she looked at her general and bowed her head. “In another place and in another time, may we meet again.”
And with no further thought needed, Ever disappeared into the black of night as the sound of Derek roaring her name echoed into the void.