Chapter Eight
Annie’s buggy bounced a little as she and Jessica rode to the Millers’. As the horse’s tail swished back and forth, Jessica breathed in the comforting scents of nature and animal.
As she adjusted her hips on the blue velvety fabric for a more comfortable position, she contemplated Old Sam’s key and the letter he’d written Esther. The buggy was open, and the warm breeze caressed her face. Glimpsing Annie in her peripheral vision, she breathed in satisfaction and smiled a little.
“I love riding in the buggy.”
“You didn’t have to tell me.”
“No?”
Annie shook her head. “I can tell by the contentment on your face. I was just thinking about how you and your great-uncle resemble each other. Did you know that Old Sam loved taking his buggy to church?” She paused. “In fact, he looked forward to it all week. Back in the day, about twenty years ago or so, he used to have a horse named Ginger and a dog named Buddy. And before that, they even had a horse called Strawberry.”
Jessica turned to better face Annie. “Really?”
“Jah. And he spoiled them like they were his grandkids. Of course, Buddy also got a taste of my sponge cakes.” She laughed. “The moment he spotted me walking toward the barn, he’d wag his tail.”
After a brief silence, Annie went on. “I’m excited to show you my hope chest, Jessica. Before you leave here, you’ll know Old Sam just by seeing what he did for others.”
“That will be wonderful, Annie.”
At the Miller home, Jessica looked on as Annie tied their horse to a post near the house.
Jessica stepped closer and offered a hand. “Can I help?”
“No, but thanks.” Annie gave her a quick grin. “We Amish girls are pretty quick at this.”
While they talked, Jessica began stroking the horse’s nose. The horse responded by letting out a whinny.
“That means that Flame likes you.”
Jessica got so close to the horse’s face, their noses nearly touched. “Flame?”
Annie offered a quick nod. “It’s really Wayne’s horse. I don’t know what it is between those two, but there’s something going on.”
Jessica lifted a brow.
Annie laughed. “You could say that they’re bonded. Of course, Wayne takes after his maemm. I’m an animal lover.”
After Flame was tied, Annie and Jessica followed the winding sidewalk to the house.
“I can’t believe how beautiful your home is, Annie.”
Annie smiled a little. “I married a builder.”
* * *
Jessica loved the Miller home. She sat at the dining room table and watched Annie put some things together on the kitchen countertop. The surroundings were simple, yet Jessica didn’t really feel anything was missing from the gorgeous dwelling.
With great interest, she took in the shiny hardwood floors and the sky-blue material that decorated the windows. The curtains were pulled back and attached to small hooks. Light coming in through the windows made her blink.
Of course, there were no family pictures sitting around. Eli had told her that the Amish don’t believe in taking photos. All the same, hints of what the Miller family was like were evident throughout the house.
Jessica noted two different daily devotional journals. One was on a small end table to the right of the couch, and the other on a slightly larger table next to a rocking chair. An oversized bookmark stuck out from what was obviously the Holy Bible next to a devotional.
A winding circular stairway that boasted glossy oak steps wound its way up to the second story. Jessica supposed that the bedrooms were upstairs.
On the wall above the very first step was something in a frame. Curious, Jessica stepped up to what appeared to be something from Levi and Annie Miller’s wedding.
As if reading her thoughts, Annie stepped closer to answer Jessica’s unspoken question. “My mother and father have the same thing on their stairway wall. In fact, Maemm made that for Levi and me.”
Jessica traced her finger over the embroidered date and names of Levi Miller and Annie Mast. Beautiful lilies decorated the four corners. And at the bottom, And the greatest of these is Love, was embroidered in a beautiful shade of blue.
Jessica swallowed an emotional knot. The words stopped her thoughts. Love. Did she have that in her life?
Jessica quickly dismissed the troubling question and focused on the cabinets. “They’re cherry?”
“Uh-huh. The credit goes to William Conrad.” She waved a hand. “Gorgeous, aren’t they?”
Jessica nodded.
“Levi and his daed . . . they specialize in the actual construction of homes, but William Conrad inherited his cabinet-making skills from his own father. Unfortunately, Daniel passed away years ago, but you might be interested to know that he was Englisch.”
When Jessica lifted an inquisitive brow, Annie waved a hand. “That’s a story for another day, but now, let’s go upstairs.”
Jessica followed Eli’s mother. As they made their way up the stairs, Jessica took note of the beautiful structure of the home. Cream-colored walls met extra-tall ceilings. Jessica hadn’t seen the interior of any Amish homes—other than Sam’s, of course—but she guessed that a lot of extra detail had gone into building this house.
Jessica paused to take in the beautiful piece at the foot of the bed. She focused on the gorgeous chest. It was smaller than what she had visualized. But the detail was exquisite. Without a doubt, her great-uncle had been a true artist. With a combination of excitement and emotion, Jessica moved closer and squinted to better view the sponge cake recipe.
As she did so, a bolt of guilt struck her, and she stiffened. She admired this kind, generous woman so much. In a way, Jessica hoped the businessman didn’t make an offer on Old Sam’s place. The thought of disappointing the Miller family made Jessica bite her lip.
Annie’s soft, honest voice made Jessica’s guilt even stronger. A pain began throbbing at the back of her neck.
“Jessica, know that you’re family. I’ll do whatever I can to make you feel extra welcome here. Your great-uncle was so special to me and played a huge role in my life, especially in how I view things.” She added in a confidential tone, “Do you know that he even gave me advice on what to do to be with Levi?”
Jessica turned to face Annie. “Really?”
Annie nodded. “Not only was your great-uncle a great artist, but he had a heart of gold and offered great wisdom. I always thought of him as a grandfather. Of course, I can’t speak for Rebecca and Rachel, but I’m pretty sure they feel the same. And even though he was much older than us, when we talked, it was as if he was on our level.” She lifted her palms in a helpless gesture. “He understood everything.”
As Annie watched the girl admire her great-uncle’s work, her heart nearly melted. For some reason, the scene touched Annie in a way she’d never imagined. She reasoned her sentiment had to do with her love for Old Sam and that she still grieved the loss of her dear friend.
Jessica knelt in front of the chest. With a soft, uncertain voice, she looked up at Annie as she continued tracing a finger over the sponge cake recipe that was meticulously etched into the wood.
“Did you ask him to make this just for you?”
Annie gave a quick shake of her head. She pulled up the oak rocker with a blue blanket tossed on top.
“You can open it.” Annie nodded toward the lid.
Jessica hesitated. “Are you sure? You must keep what’s most special to you in here, Annie.”
“I do, but you won’t be able to see the lining if you don’t look inside. Go ahead. I want you to see the pretty velvet.”
Slowly, Jessica opened the lid and took a small, uncertain breath. She turned to Annie and smiled. “The lining looks like it’s part of the wood. I wonder how he did this.” After a thoughtful pause, Jessica’s voice cracked with emotion. “He made everything to perfection, didn’t he?”
Before Annie could finish her nod of agreement, Jessica went on. “Even the lining.”
“But Jessica, this particular hope chest is much more to me than a work of art.” She hesitated. “I keep my journal in it. I’ve written every night for years. In fact, I started noting my most private thoughts as soon as your uncle gave me this.”
Jessica’s eyes widened. A long silence ensued while the two of them seemed to bond. Jessica sensed a strong connection to Eli’s mother.
Annie knelt next to Jessica and focused her attention on the chest. “You’re the only other person who’s ever looked inside of this chest.”
“Oh . . .”
“But I really want you to see it. Your great-uncle . . .” Annie caught her emotion before it got away from her. “I miss him dearly. He gave me advice, even till the end. Throughout my life, especially when I knew I was in love with Levi and thought I had to let him go . . . your uncle gave me his very best wisdom. And I’ll always be grateful.” She caught an emotional breath. “In fact, when something bothers me and I need an answer, I think of going to his barn to talk to him.” She smiled a little while offering a helpless shrug. “Of course, I can’t. But his memory . . . excuse me.”
Annie stepped away for a tissue. She blew her nose and returned to Jessica. She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. “I feel so blessed, Jessica, to have known your great-uncle. And all the love he showed me . . . I want to give that back to you.”
Jessica’s jaw dropped; she wasn’t sure how to react to such kindness. All her life, no one had ever made her feel so important. So loved. She wondered what to say to reciprocate.
She wasn’t sure, so she didn’t respond. Instead, she enjoyed the wonderful sensation that swept through her chest. As she contemplated how generous Annie Miller was, the thought of selling the house entered her thoughts until her head began to ache. Jessica’s close connection to the Miller family certainly muddied her desire to sell Sam’s property and then leave. They had welcomed her with open arms and had made her feel like she was one of them.
The happiness Jessica had just experienced was quickly replaced with guilt. It was easy to see that this small town meant much more to its people than just a dwelling place. The folks appeared emotionally connected, as if this town was part of them.
“Jessica?” Annie’s soft voice interrupted Jessica’s chaotic thoughts. “Something’s bothering you. You’re frowning. And your hands are shaking.”
Jessica glanced at Annie before shamefully looking down at the floor. When Jessica looked up again, she struggled to find her voice. She felt she owed Annie Miller some sort of explanation for selling.
“You want to talk about it?”
After offering a light shrug of her shoulders, Jessica swallowed and nodded her head and stood.
Annie followed suit and motioned to the bed. Jessica sat at the edge and Annie claimed the spot next to her. They turned to each other so that their knees nearly touched.
“Whatever you do, please don’t let anything bother you, Jessica.” Annie remembered something and sat up straighter. “Old Sam always used to tell us girls to never let anything steal our joy. That today is a gift only God can give to us. And we can’t ever take back the moment.”
“Annie, right now, I’m torn.”
Annie lifted a curious brow and continued to study the concern on this young girl’s face.
“I know how much Pebble Creek means to you. To your family. Eli was the first to mention it when we met. And here I am, doing everything I can to sell what’s so dear to your hearts.”
Annie took Jessica’s hand in hers and locked gazes with the young girl. “Jessica, Old Sam left the land to you.” A slight smile lifted the corners of her lips as she raised her palms in a helpless gesture. “There’s a reason for everything. Of course, we don’t know what it is. But Jessica . . .” She reached out and squeezed Jessica’s fingers with affection. “God’s plan for us is way beyond our knowledge. He’s the only one who knows the end result. And what I’m sure of is that family was more important than anything to Old Sam. And he’d want a family to live in his home, enjoy Pebble Creek, and continue making memories. Of that, I have no doubt. And you’ll make that happen. Some wonderful family will carry on the happiness that was born at Pebble Creek.”
Jessica let out a sigh and seemed to relax a little. “From what I know about my great-uncle, he was all about family. But the sale of the property . . .” She looked away a moment before refocusing her attention to Annie. “With the money, I’ll be able to buy a place close to my job. Right now, I live on the other side of the city, and it takes me over an hour to get to work. I can’t imagine how less stressful my life will be when I’m close. And what makes this more difficult is that we are close to getting an offer . . .” Her voice cracked with emotion.
As Annie became unusually still, a nervous laugh escaped Jessica’s throat, and she shook her head in disbelief. “Annie, I know we’ve all got problems, but I have trouble dealing with stress. In fact, I’ve had issues I didn’t think I could cope with.”
Annie pressed her lips together thoughtfully.
“But knowing that soon that stress will be gone, I feel so much relief.”
Several thoughtful heartbeats later, Annie nodded. “I understand, Jessica. I can’t imagine what it would be like living in the city, let alone having to get to work every morning in traffic. Sometimes I take for granted what I have here.”
Jessica looked at her to continue.
“I have everything I need. Every once in a while, something comes up that requires prayer. But I feel fortunate that God has given me my wonderful family and the best life I could ever imagine out here in the country. Jessica, when you go to bed at night, say your prayers. Ask God to help you make decisions. And if you trust in Him, nothing will worry you. Because He created you.”
Jessica contemplated Annie’s words.
“Look at it this way. Remember the delicious chocolate cake that Rebecca made for the fish fry?”
Jessica nodded.
“That cake didn’t just come about. Rebecca had to add the right ingredients and mix them together. It’s the same way with people.”
“You think?”
“Of course. Just like the cake, we couldn’t come about by chance. There’s no way.” The corners of Annie’s lips lifted into a gentle smile. “Think about it, Jessica. God made us all. And we live for Him.”
* * *
That evening, rain beat against Old Sam’s roof. A bright bolt of lightning prompted Jessica to make her way to the bedroom window and look out.
For sure, Old Sam’s flowers were getting plenty of water. Loud thunder crackled. She startled, but knew that she was safe inside Old Sam’s home and that the Millers weren’t far away, if she needed them. But tonight, her heart pumped at an uneasy speed. Her hands shook.
She went to the kitchen and swallowed a pill that she pulled from a container in her makeup bag. She frowned. She didn’t like relying on medicine. But as she drifted back to the afternoon, her chest ached until she thought she would be sick.
She thought of her time with Annie. When Jessica had confessed her guilt about selling, she hadn’t gathered enough courage to actually say that the interested party didn’t even have a family. Or that he didn’t plan to live at Pebble Creek.
She considered the kindness the Miller family showed her. At the same time, she recalled the big offer that was about to materialize. That the man who wanted her place for a vacation getaway was a far cry from the family that the Millers wanted.
Breathing in relief that the pill wouldn’t take long to work, she went to bed and propped her feet up. Taking deep breaths, she closed her eyes and tried to relax.
As she lay on the simple but comfortable bedding, she thought of Old Sam and yearned to know him. She opened her eyes and frowned, pressing a finger against her chin.
As the pleasant scent of oak filled her nostrils, she smiled a little. She closed her eyes again and began to relax, but the moment she thought about selling to someone who wouldn’t even live here, the ache worsened.
The next thought that came along was Annie’s theory that people couldn’t have happened without a Creator. The analogy of the cake made sense.
Jessica wanted to believe in God. She hadn’t been a bad person, not by her standards anyway. But she still wasn’t convinced He existed.
She sat up and paced while her thoughts wandered to her younger years, a time she’d rather forget. But the moment her gaze landed on her great-uncle’s key on the near-by desk, she forgot everything that was driving her crazy and started imagining what the key unlocked.
Old Sam, what did you make for your wife? She stood to retrieve the key, studied it, and held it between her fingers.
Old Sam, I love you even though I’ve never met you. You stunned me by leaving me Pebble Creek. I don’t deserve your kindness and generosity. But as I learn about you, I have a hunch that you want me to find your gift for Esther. And my curiosity won’t let it go.
She held the unique-looking metal in front of her and wondered. Where is it?
* * *
The following afternoon, Jessica waved good-bye as Eli, Wayne, and Chuck stepped out of the front entrance and closed the door. When the lock clicked, she hugged her hands to her hips and focused on the kitchen.
She let out a sigh and quick steps took her to the side porch where she grabbed a broom and a dustpan. She adjusted the fan to hit her and began sweeping the floor.
She whistled while she did so. To her amazement, she’d been thinking much less about her job and her horrendous commute to work. Instead, the conversation she’d had with Eli’s kind mother continued to absorb her thoughts, prompting a smile. At the same time, Mary’s theory that each flower couldn’t have happened without a Designer flitted through her head.
She admired both women. According to Annie, everything good came from God, and there was no problem too small or too large for Him.
Since their conversation, Jessica had thought about asking the Lord for guidance. Obviously, it worked for Mary. For Eli. And Annie.
As she breathed in the pleasant scent of fresh cut wood, she considered Annie Miller and her strong faith.
I would love to be half as satisfied with my life as she is with hers. How wonderful it would be to just hand my problems over to someone and trust that I’m taken care of. But how realistic is it?
There must be something to it if the Miller family believes it. She thought of Old Sam’s Bible as she glanced down at the large pile of dust and knelt. She swept the debris into the dustpan and made her way to the trash can, where she emptied the dirt.
So many things filled her mind that she closed her eyes to calm herself. Eli. Annie. Mary. Praying to God for guidance. Selling Old Sam’s place to the right people. Purchasing a place of her own near her work. The key.
A sudden beep prompted her to glance at her phone. Jessica stopped her task at hand and answered.
“Jess, it’s Sandy. Great news! The buyer I told you about has made an offer on your property! It’s more money than I ever imagined we’d get.” Jessica closed her eyes and swallowed a hard knot that blocked her throat.
“Jessica? Are you there?”
* * *
The following morning, Eli glanced at Jessica. Since he’d started work, they’d barely said two words. In fact, she hadn’t offered him iced tea.
Something’s wrong. She’s avoiding me.
Chuck put down his hammer and interrupted Eli’s thoughts. “Time for a break.” Eli agreed.
But instead of heading to the pickup truck for water, he made his way to Old Sam’s flower bed, where Jessica was touching a new green leaf on Old Sam’s rosebush.
“It’s coming back.”
Jessica got up from her squatting position and smiled. “Mary gave it a special formula.” She lifted her palms. “And look!”
Together, they bent to marvel at the green that had started to appear. But Eli wasn’t here to talk about the rosebush. He cleared his throat and spoke in a low, serious tone. “Something’s wrong, Jessica. Want to talk about it?”
* * *
Later that afternoon, Jessica walked alongside Eli as they climbed the hill that overlooked Pebble Creek. The pressure to sell the property to the businessman so she could get rid of the stress of driving through the city was causing as much stress as the actual drive across St. Louis to work. A knot pained the back of her neck. She stopped to catch her breath.
“Okay, let’s have it.” A combination of sympathy and urgency edged Eli’s voice.
“Thanks for taking off early to talk to me.”
“It actually worked out well. The tile needs to set before we step on it again.” After a short pause, he nudged her arm to avoid stepping in a dip in the ground. “Something’s bothering you. You’ve avoided me all morning. You didn’t even offer me tea.”
Jessica wanted to talk to him about the sale of Pebble Creek. About the turmoil inside of her that she would displease the Millers. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. But anxiety had already started to set in.
“Jess?”
Deciding on a straightforward approach, she started to explain the offer. She went on to tell about the man who wanted to buy it. About the pressure she faced at selling to someone who didn’t intend to live there or raise a family there. At the end, she waited for a response from Eli, her heart picking up speed.
For long moments, the only sound was their breathing as they continued up the hill. Suddenly, emotions hit her from every direction, and she lowered her gaze to the ground so Eli wouldn’t see her tears.
Jessica’s lungs started pumping harder and harder for air until she lay down on her back on the dirt trail and closed her eyes. Light-headedness began to set in. “Eli, I need your help.”
He knelt beside her. “Are you okay?”
“I will be. Hold my feet up.”
Without wasting time, he followed directions while she closed her eyes and tried for slow breaths. She silently began counting down from a hundred, like her doctor had told her to do when a panic attack came on. When she finally managed to steady her breathing, she opened her eyes and focused on his face. Tiny lines around his eyes revealed great concern. His jaw was set.
“Are you okay?”
“Please. Just prop my legs up a little longer.”
He nodded.
Finally, the light-headedness ceased, and Jessica looked at Eli and smiled in relief. “Eli, I get panic attacks. They started when I was a kid when my dad got drunk.” She swallowed. “When I had to hide from him.”
To her relief, Eli didn’t respond. He continued to listen.
“At home, in St. Louis, I take medicine to prevent the attacks from happening. I think I mentioned that to you. But now the anxiety is coming back . . . because of the offer and because I don’t want to displease you and your family. Or Old Sam.” A couple of tears slid down her cheek.
She drew her legs closer to her body and sat up. There was still no response from Eli as he knelt beside her.
“It’s okay, Jessica. Please. Don’t worry. I can’t stand to see you so uneasy. Life is too short. Maemm always tells us what Old Sam once told her. That today’s a blessing from God. To enjoy it. Because once it’s over, we can’t have it back.”
Jessica lifted her chin and studied the gentle man next to her. “Eli, being with you and talking to you”—she let out a relieved breath—“is so comforting. Thank you for listening to me. For everything. Your mother told me the same thing. Oh, Eli, if only I could be so happy as you are. As your mother is.”
His eyes gleamed with moisture as their gazes locked. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You can, Jessica. It’s all about knowing God. Believing in His purpose for you.”
She paused and considered Eli’s words. Finally, she was more curious about Eli’s God than ever. “If there is a God, what do you think His purpose is for me, Eli?”
He studied her, and moments later, his lips curved in amusement.
“What?” she asked.
He chuckled. “I’m not sure, Jessica Beachy, but I’m certain of His purpose for me.”
She looked at him to continue.
“To keep you out of trouble.”
She smiled and relaxed. “I know I’ve probably been a bit of a worry.”
He said softly, “But it’s more than that, Jessica.” He shook his head before focusing on her face. “Since you’ve moved into Old Sam’s home, I’ve become aware of a great purpose God has given me.” He stopped as if deciding what to say next. “It’s to make sure you know your Lord and Savior. And when that happens . . .” He lifted his palms to the sky.
“The sale of your house . . . driving across the city to get to work . . . these things won’t matter like they do now. Because if you look at the whole picture, if God guides your life, He’s really all that matters. And you’ll trust Him.”
As she absorbed his potent words, he continued. “Over the years, Maemm and I have had a lot of conversations about God. How to live our lives. You know what she always told me?” He went on with a wry smile. “You’ll be very interested in this because she heard it from your great-uncle.”
She sat up a little straighter. “What?”
“That only God is privy to everything that happens in our lives. From birth to death. And that each time something happens, good or bad, there’s a reason for it. But only He knows the end result.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Jessica, pray to do the right thing. I know God is watching over you.” Eli winked. “He brought you to us, didn’t He?”
Jessica nodded.
“There’s something I feel compelled to share with you. It’s about what I’ve noticed since you’ve come to Pebble Creek.”
She looked at him to continue.
“You’ve changed a lot.”
“I have?”
Eli offered a confident nod. “With the exception of today, since we’ve first met, you’ve become more relaxed. And I like it when you wear jeans and tennis shoes. I was worried that you’d fall in those heels.”
She laughed. “Over all, I have been much more relaxed than ususal.”
“Doesn’t that tell you something?”
She considered his question. “Like what?”
“Like maybe you should rethink the sale. At least, who you’re selling to. You said yourself that’s what brought your stress back.” He stood, and she followed suit.
The strength of what Eli had just said stunned her so much that she couldn’t find words to respond. She wondered what would happen if she declined the sale. Even more, if she stayed here at Pebble Creek.
She quickly decided it wasn’t plausible. How would she make a living? What would she do in this quiet, uneventful countryside? To her knowledge, there weren’t any hotels in the area where she could work.
Then something came to her. A realization that nearly took her breath away. As they began climbing up the hill again, she spoke in a soft, vulnerable voice. “Eli, you truly care about me.”
When he didn’t respond, she decided to go on. At this point, she knew she could speak her mind and that Eli wouldn’t pass judgment on her. “No one has ever cared about me the way that you do. Like your family does. And to be honest, what I’m feeling . . .” She drew her hand to her chest. “I don’t even know what to think. I just want to thank you.”
In silence, they neared the top. Eli motioned and let out a breath. “There they are. The stones my parents sat on when they were kids.”
Together they stood and looked down at the creek. While they did so, the gentle breeze lifted the ends of Jessica’s hair. She shoved it back over her ears. The creek below them prompted her to draw in a breath that was the epitome of awe.
A strange sense of calmness filled her, despite the heavy conversation she and Eli had just had.
“I understand why Maemm and Daed used to walk all the way up here.”
“Me too.”
They bent to sit on the stones. But the small garden of coneflowers behind Annie’s and Levi’s stones drew Jessica’s attention, and she knelt to touch one of the purple centers.
Beside her, Eli did the same. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“But it seems like a strange place for a flower bed.”
From her peripheral vision, Jessica glimpsed Eli squinting.
Jessica grinned. “No, it doesn’t. Not if this was his and Esther’s favorite spot.” She lowered her voice. “The very place my great-uncle asked Esther to marry him.”
She bent closer. The bright sunlight hit the patch of flowers, and she saw something shiny at the base of the leaves.
Without saying anything, she squinted for a better look at the copper. When she glanced over at Eli, his attention was focused on the same thing.
Eli began brushing away dirt to uncover the object. He removed enough so they could detect the outline of the box.
Jessica didn’t take her gaze off of the object. “Is it copper?”
Several seconds later, Eli nodded in agreement. “I think so. The ground is soft from the rain, but I need a shovel. Let’s come back tomorrow and dig up whatever it is.”
In a low, certain tone, Jessica spoke. “Whatever it is, the key will unlock it. I know it.”
Leaning back, Eli brushed his hands together, and tiny pieces of mud dropped to the ground. “You’re determined, aren’t you?”
She nodded.
“I don’t want you to be disappointed if the key doesn’t work.”
Standing, she looked down at the copper that had been partially exposed. “Tomorrow, we’ll find out what Old Sam’s key unlocks and what’s inside that.” She pointed.
Jessica’s heart picked up speed as her mind wandered to Old Sam. Whatever he’d buried had been important enough to carry it all the way to the top of this hill and place it between Levi’s and Annie’s sitting stones.
Suddenly, something disturbed her. She tensed and crossed her arms across her chest.
“Something wrong?”
“Eli, I just had a disturbing thought. What if the key won’t open the box?”
Eli rolled his eyes and offered a conciliatory shrug of his shoulders. “Then it won’t.”
She tapped the toe of her tennis shoe against the stone. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
She harrumphed. “I know that the key goes to whatever we’ll uncover tomorrow. But what if the lock is rusted? Esther’s been gone a long time . . . which means that whatever is buried has been in the ground for years.”
The thoughtful expression in his eyes made her smile. She was fairly certain that the man opposite her did not believe the key opened this box. The box that Old Sam had buried. His skepticism showed in his voice.
As they faced each other, Eli seemed even taller than usual. The sun hitting his face made his eyes take on a lighter shade of hazel. The color was so beautiful, it reminded her of the oak leaves behind her apartment complex in the fall. Of cinnamon in her spice box.
He took a deep, thoughtful breath and pushed it out. “Tomorrow, we’ll know.”
“We’ll just have to be patient, won’t we?”
He offered a firm nod. At the same time, as if on cue, they turned toward the creek. At that moment, Jessica felt a sense of great satisfaction.
As if reading her thoughts, Eli said in a low voice, tinged with emotion, “Now I understand why this was my parents’ special spot.”
Jessica took in the captivating stream below, country houses spread out acres apart, and imagined Annie and Levi Miller running up and down this very hill when they were young.
“They must have taken a lot of breaks while they hauled these stones. I wonder what they talked about when they came up here.”
Old Sam, if only I had met you. My life would have been different. For the better. I know you would have protected me.
Eli cleared his throat. “Jess?”
The way he said her abbreviated name with such softness made her pulse pick up speed. This time, she didn’t even bother to scold herself.
She merely looked at him in silence as she enjoyed their togetherness.
He bent closer. He was so near, she could feel his warm breath. “You can stay here, you know.”
A long silence ensued while she gave great consideration to his statement. And she realized more than ever that she could never live here and watch this wonderful man marry a nice Amish girl. That startling realization made her stiffen.
No. This can’t be happening.
To her dismay, he pursued the subject. “Jess, your life can be whatever you want it to be. Old Sam once told me that. You’ve been through a lot, but learn from it. In fact, use it to your advantage. You might feel like you don’t have control over what happened, but you do. And to have a happy life, the kind you really want inside of your heart, you’ve got to put the past behind you and create your future.” He offered a casual lift of his shoulders. “It’s up to you. Just think of how happy you’ve been since you got here. You said yourself that you’ve been more relaxed since coming here.”
Nervously, she tapped the toe of her tennis shoe against the ground. “I know. But staying here isn’t that easy, Eli.”
“Why not? I’ll always be here for you, to help in any way I can. That’s a promise.”
Jessica’s chest rose and fell much too quickly. She hoped he didn’t notice. And she was sure that he didn’t know how she felt about him. Otherwise he wouldn’t have made such a strong commitment. He obviously didn’t have a clue that she wanted much more than his help. She yearned for his love. To spend the rest of her life with him.
“I wish your kind, loving God would help me.”
She was quick to note the hopeful expression that filled his eyes.
After a slight hesitation, the tone of his voice became even more serious. “He will, Jess. But you’ve got to ask Him.”
“I want to. But I don’t know if I can.”
He looked at her to go on.
“When did you start to know God?”
She turned and shrugged helplessly as she walked away from him.
But he followed her. She couldn’t see him, but she heard him breathing. She heard his boots stepping behind her.
When she stopped, she turned and caught his gaze. She was quick to catch the surprised expression in his dark eyes.
“I can’t pinpoint a certain time. Ever since I can remember, my folks have taken me to church. Raised me to pray at the table and at night, by my bed. I just always knew, Jess. I never doubted.”
He shoved his thumbs into his pockets and let his f in-gers rest over the tops. His right foot tapped nervously as he looked directly into her eyes.
“Jess, just think of how complex this world is. For example, feel my heart beat.”
She stared at him in surprise. He surely wasn’t asking her to touch him. Not that there was anything wrong with that. There wasn’t.
But her feelings for him . . . they were so strong, she feared her reaction. The last thing she wanted was for him to know how she felt about him. That would complicate her life even more.
“What?”
He motioned to his chest and offered an encouraging nod. “Go ahead.” When she didn’t react, he took her fingers in his and pressed them hard against his chest. They were so close, she wondered if he could hear her heart race to an excited, dangerous beat.
“Can you feel my heart pumping?”
Talking would reveal her breathlessness, so she pressed her lips together and merely nodded.
“Did you ever stop and wonder how a heart could beat without a Creator?” He gave a quick shake of his head. “Jess, I’m not a doctor, but I’m fully aware of the complexity of the human body. That when one little thing gets out of sync, the whole body reacts.” He raised his voice in excitement. “There’s just no way this could be without a Designer!”
Jessica considered his theory and frowned. “What you say makes sense, that’s for sure. Just like Mary says a beautiful plant couldn’t have just happened. And Annie says the same thing about the delicious chocolate cake at the fish fry.”
Eli grinned and paused to take a deep breath.
Fully aware that his hand still covered hers, Jessica stood very still. His warm touch was so comforting and reassuring, she never wanted his fingers to leave hers. It was as if she wore a helmet and no one could hurt her.
“You’re making something that’s so simple, so hard.”
Jessica’s lips parted with amazement when he tightened his grip around her fingers and lowered her hand to waist level. To her surprise, he didn’t let go. For long, thoughtful moments they looked at each other with a curious intensity. Gray flecks danced in his eyes.
She knew that Amish men didn’t hold hands with single women. Yet he was doing just that. The gentleness of his callused palm swept up her arms all the way to her neck.
The tingling sensation stirred a mixture of unfamiliar emotions within her. She yearned to close her eyes and relish the delicious sensation that was an odd combination of comfort and excitement and other things she didn’t recognize. It was such a wonderful, new experience, she wanted to shout for joy. When he let go, she missed his warmth and reassurance.
“I . . . I’m sorry, Jess.”
She parted her lips in surprise. “For what?”
He swallowed and lowered his gaze to the ground. When he lifted his chin, she noticed his turmoil-filled eyes. They reminded her of the sky just a couple of days ago before the rainstorm hit.
His voice was barely audible. “For holding your hand.” Several heartbeats later, he continued. “But I proved my point.” He raised his palms, then dropped them.
She didn’t mention how his touch had affected her. It might scare him. Yet she certainly didn’t want him to feel guilt over something that made her feel so good. “I’m glad you did it.”
“You are?”
“Uh-huh.” She stammered. “Even if it was only to prove a point.”
“I want to change your life, Jess. I want you to know our Lord and Savior. In fact, I yearn for it with everything I have. It’s more important to me than breathing.”
She processed his words until she recognized their significance.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Eli’s voice broke her reverie.
She gave a gentle lift of her shoulders while he motioned to the sitting stones. There was so much turmoil inside of her, she didn’t dare speak. Will I be able to sort all of this out?
She tried to make sense of what he wanted. At the same time, she was certain that Eli and his family had what she yearned for. Longed for it so much, she could almost taste it. She wasn’t sure why. Before coming here, she hadn’t felt as if she missed out on anything.
Maybe her turmoil was due to the contrast between the warm, loving, contented central Illinois folks and her unstable upbringing. They were two different worlds.
For a hopeful moment, she imagined a carefree life. No stress. She wondered what it would be like to not worry about what had happened years ago.
“You’re awfully quiet, Jess.”
The soft, affectionate way he said her name made her heart jump with excitement. By now, she knew that scolding herself for her reaction didn’t do any good. She just couldn’t put the lid on her feelings for this young Amish man.
Finally, she found the right words. “Eli, everything about this place . . .” She motioned with her hands and swallowed. “The people here . . . I can’t even begin to put into words how wonderful it is.” She blinked at the sting of emotional tears. “All my life, I’ve never known such stability. In fact, I wasn’t even aware that other’s lives differed so drastically from mine.” A nervous laugh escaped her throat.
A long silence ensued before he responded, and when he did, gratitude edged his voice. “I am fortunate, Jess. This type of life is all I’ve known, so I don’t have anything to compare to.”
“Consider yourself lucky.”
“You think?”
With a sad smile, she nodded. “Before I came here, I was sure I wouldn’t like it. I contemplated how I would fit in. And when I learned that Old Sam’s house didn’t even have electricity, I was certain I wouldn’t survive without being able to watch television.”
After a thoughtful pause, she went on. “But Eli, this . . .” She extended her arms. “It’s everything I could ever dream of. And”—she blinked at the sting of tears—“I don’t want to leave.”