Dressed in a special white dress with puffy sleeves—which might not be the best color for a 6-year-old‑—hair braided back out of her face with curled edges and a big red bow as large as her face; there was nothing that Noelle could do to contain Carol’s excitement for the Christmas fair.
Not that she wanted to, but she had never felt such buzzing energy, like a hurricane waiting to be unleashed. Perhaps her honey-bee nickname Noelle had given her should be changed to buzzing-bee. She even had the black shoes to serve as the little bee's feet; now Noelle only had to get her a yellow and black striped dress and her ensemble would be complete.
Noelle wore a red, long-sleeved tight-fitting corset dress that she’d also saved for an occasion. It was done with a slight skirt, not oversized that served as ball-gown but more of an A-line fit. Her own red hair was pulled back from her face, a red bow matching Carol’s keeping the strands in place at the back of her head whilst the other half of her hair flowed down her back.
Red tint graced her lips, and she felt pretty for the first time in a good long while. She had forgotten how fun it was to get dolled up, not that she looked down-trodden other days, but today she had put some extra effort in. Henry had never noticed when she made herself pretty, which could explain why she stopped trying to impress him and stuck to her every-day dresses.
Grasping each other's hands, they set about the town, anticipation making both of them extremely jittery, which prompted them to go on horseback instead of with the wagon. The road was slightly less icy this time, which was a relief. It had originally been Carol’s idea, wanting to show her friends how well she could ride a horse, so Noelle indulged her little fantasy. Besides, Goliath’s black pelt complimented their red and white looks beautifully.
Noelle supposed she would have to get Carol her own horse soon, seeing as she would grow older and start to become more independent, which meant she would be itching to have her own horse in any case. She’d also been teaching the girl and giving her riding lessons, so she was more than confident in the little whirlwind’s riding ability. She wondered how much that would cost though, and how long she’d be able to stretch the money Nicholas had given her. If it would even be possible to purchase a pony for the girl. She would be lucky if it lasted her until next spring, although she highly doubted it.
She was lucky enough already that none of the bankers and estate managers had come knocking yet, but she was a fool if she thought they would forget about her completely. Perhaps it was the Lord’s blessing they had already left her alone for so long—and that Beatrice had not yet found out about Henry's untimely death. In a small town such as this one, it truly was a Christmas miracle.
The streets were brimming with festively dressed people, all of them sporting smiles as wide as the banner that announced the entrance to the fair. Although, none of them could compete with the smiles on Noelle’s and Carol’s faces when they spotted Nicholas there, holding two bouquets of flowers for each of his girls. A smile stretched over his beautiful face, making one of her own appear as well at the sight of the small dimple that so rarely made an appearance.
Carol was beside herself with excitement, almost clamoring down the wagon in her haste to get to Nicholas and the pretty flowers he had chosen just for her. She hugged his legs tightly, beaming up at him.
Nicholas tore his eyes from Noelle, smiling down at the little force clutching at his leg. “Is this the special dress?”
Once again, Carol shook her head, giggling with glee as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“And when will this special dress make an appearance? I am almost crazy with anticipation,” he said, handing Noelle her bouquet as she neared, the reins still in hand. He promptly took them from her, waiting for Carol to answer.
“What’s…” Carol glanced up at Noelle in uncertainty. She glanced at Nicholas, tucking her hands behind her back as she leaned down to the girl’s height.
“Anticipation,” Noelle whispered, biting back a smile. The girl twirled her skirts as she asked again, lifting her chin high,
“What’s anticipation?”
Nicholas smiled. “I’m the wrong person to ask for the exact definition, but think of it as excitement.”
Carol had already moved on from the subject, however, now gazing at the various activities taking place in the demarcated area of the fair a few paces ahead of them. Nicholas inclined his head to her, taking a seat on the wagon as she waited patiently by the entrance while he found a spot for the wagon. Noelle looked around her as they waited, swinging her arm happily with Carol’s when she interlaced their hands, eager to enter the fair and indulge in the joyous activities that beckoned to those wide eyes. Noelle lifted her arm higher, using every muscle in her body to keep upright as the child used her like a human swing.
“Where are we going first?” Carol asked as she swung from Noelle’s arm. The girl was barely out of breath and Noelle felt like she was about to lose a shoulder.
“Well, we’re going to take a look at all the wares people have to sell, and then we’ll get something to eat and take you to the playground to play a little,” Noelle pondered. “But it really all depends on what there is to do, honeybee.”
Once Nicholas returned, looking disgruntled as he had no doubt struggled to hitch Goliath, and they crossed the entrance together, bouquets of flowers in hand and smiles across their faces. They walked past every stall selling goods, stopping to glance at what they offered, and moved on. They bought Carol some sweets, which powered her up for another bout of running around that had Noelle and Nicholas shaking their heads.
Later, after he had gobbled up a particularly large amount of sweets himself, Nicholas joined Carol in her running, placing the little girl in her white dress on his neck as they spread their arms wide—making duck noises as they flapped their make-believe wings. Noelle laughed, clutching their belongings as tightly as she clutched at her stomach, aching with joy. This only prompted them to be sillier, making funny faces at her before they returned to their duck-migration. She took a seat on the blanket they’d laid out, placing the flowers and their coats next to her as she watched them, joyous and utterly without stress or sadness or guilt. They returned briefly for a quick sweets-break and water, which prompted Nicholas to try and convince her to join.
“Our duck-family needs a mama duck, you know,” he suggested slyly, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or does mama duck not have what it takes to keep up with papa duck and baby duck?”
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Mama duck is on vacation. She’s not required to work today.”
Nicholas grunted his answer, playing dead when Carol stood to pull him up by his hand. But soon enough, there he went, flapping his arms again. Noelle shook her head and chuckled.
They ran in circles, drawing the attention of those around them as they cackled like geese, Carol even screeching in excitement as Nicholas jumped to sell the illusion of them taking flight. Then, they switched animals completely, Carol tugging at his hair as he whinnied. He even stomped on the ground as Goliath often did, blowing air from his lips like a horse. Noelle burst out laughing again, watching a six-feet-tall, full-grown man, imitate a horse was something she’d never thought she’d see in her lifetime. She supposed this Christmas was one with many surprises.
Noelle watched them contently, watching them play together causing her heart to almost burst with happiness. She realized how much she had craved this, and how much Nicholas had finally made a final piece fit into her dream-life puzzle. They looked like a real family, acted like a real family.
They had met him at the front of the fair, and they’d entered together, scrolled the available goods together, bought food and drinks and sweets as if they were parents spoiling their child. She was Carol’s mother, so she supposed it was true in her case, but Nicholas had unwittingly filled the space a father would. Did he realize it? And if he hadn’t, when he did—what would he do? What would he say?
They had been acting like a couple in love, even risking small touches here and there that left both of the smiling or blushing; whenever the either had the courage to risk a touch.
Their antics came to a halt, Nicholas removing Carol from her perch on his neck as the band started to play a jolly tune. On the other side of them, couples took to the small patch of open space they’d made the dance floor, engaging in a dance that left the women laughing and twirling. She smiled at the glee on the couples’ faces as they danced, mesmerized by the beauty of love.
Some of the couples were older, but looked as if they were just as in love as the young couples around them; and that was what had Noelle staring—that never-fading love that had seemed like a fable to her in the last years of her life. However, she wondered if she would now get the opportunity to experience it for herself. Either with Nicholas or whoever she was meant to be with.
Noelle felt a gaze settle on her, meeting familiar brown eyes when she turned to look. Nicholas winked at her, a faint blush creeping over her face as she tucked a stray hair that always seemed to escape behind her ear. He broke eye contact, Carol’s small hands in his, twirling her around and around as they started to dance. Her heart felt like it was about two beats away from bursting, and she quickly looked away as they twirled again. Was this truly something she could have for herself? This family that felt like it was appearing right in front of her eyes?
She glanced around at the people openly staring at her family—or rather, make-believe family—and waited for shame to turn the moment sour. But it never came, and she never felt that feeling of guilt that had plagued her after Henry’s death. It was as if it had been washed from her conscience completely, leaving only a crystal-clear speck for new memories to occupy.
She felt no guilt for the emotions swirling in her heart and mind, and the dreams that were steadily becoming real. She also felt no nervousness regarding what people would think of her if they spotted her with Nicholas, acting like they were a couple. In fact, Noelle couldn't care less what these people thought of her or of them—as long as Nicholas and Carol thought she was the best. And maybe Beatrice, too, but for different reasons.
Noelle glanced back at them, tapping her fingers in beat with the music the band so artfully composed, widening her eyes and smile when Carol called for her, demanding she watch. Her little feet were clad in black boots that were now faltering as she tried to imitate the dance steps Nicholas was so patiently teaching her.
As if her gaze were something he could feel as clearly as a touch, Nicholas glanced up, meeting her eyes. He held her stare as they danced, his hand still clutching Carol’s while she danced without care beside him. Noelle’s cheeks turned blood red, her body warming under his molten gaze. Her breath hitched in her throat, and almost like a loaded wagon, the realization hit her. It threatened to knock the wind out of her lungs, stop time around her, and throw her whole world upside-down.
She was falling in love with him. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. Not when he smiled at her, and stared at her with those beautiful whiskey-brown eyes, and especially not when he danced with her daughter as if she were his own. She could not stop the free-fall that was happening, not when he cared for them and did so much to ensure their safety and comfort.
And especially not when he tugged Carol towards where she sat on the blanket, pulled Noelle to her feet, and danced with both of them; dragging a bout of laughter from her that was so genuine she was almost startled by it. Noelle couldn’t recall the last time she’d laughed this hard and this much.
It was like her soul had finally come out of its corner in the dark place where she’d hidden it away, safe from the claws of despair and heartbreak. It seemed to have startled Nicholas as well, because his head snapped to her so fast, she thought he would break his neck, his stare feeling like it would pierce the outer layers of her skin and enter her mind. He quickly recovered, clutching her hand tightly in his as they spun.
Noelle couldn’t blame her dizziness on the spinning alone, neither could she blame her breathlessness on the dance. All of it was because of the man beside her, still clutching her hand tightly as they spun threatening to sweep her from her feet—and not literally. She was falling for this man, she realized, her eyes glued to that beautifully rugged face. It was done for, she was done for.