It was achingly cold outside, Nicholas having an arm slung around Noelle’s shoulders to protect her from the icy wind as they rapped their knuckles on the white-painted door. Everyone in the house was already fast asleep, if the pitch-black darkness inside was any indication; and he felt bad for waking them, but it was an emergency. One that could certainly not wait until the next morning. Nicholas rubbed her arm, keeping her tucked closely in his side as they tried to rouse Pastor Sam—the only man they could trust with this, and the only man that would not judge them horribly for it, nor deny it.
Noelle was uncharacteristically quiet, but not unhappy. Her eyes were wide, and Nicholas swore if he looked closely enough, he could see her thoughts running wild in her mind. He understood why she might be overwhelmed, and he could only guess what she was thinking, what worries she must have now. But so did he. He also thought they shared the same thoughts—thoughts about them, their time together, and what it might mean if they went through with this.
Noelle kept going on about what it might cost him, but he was honest if he said that it did not once cross his mind; the fact that he might not be able to marry again lest something happen or either of them were unfaithful—which he highly doubted for both parties involved. Neither of them possessed the vindictiveness it took to cheat.
He wondered what exactly would happen after this, where this would place them. Sure they had kissed and shared many moments these past few weeks, and sure they had become somewhat of a family. But that didn’t mean Noelle thought of him in that sense—though the way she’d kissed him back and looked at him begged to differ. Even now, as he gazed down at her, she was staring at him in that way of hers; the one that made him feel like he was the luckiest man in the world. Did that not say something?
He had felt like his heart shattered when she’d looked at him with so much uncertainty, and so much shame. It was as if she felt undeserving of this, as if she were robbing him of something that he had no interest in in the first place. But how did he tell her that? How did he tell her what he felt on a night like this, when her whole world was crumbling right before her eyes?
The door opened, leaving Nicholas’ hand raised in the air, knocking on absolutely nothing. Pastor Sam looked disheveled and…angry? It was the first time Nicholas had seen the man anything but happy. It wasn’t terrifying but it also wasn’t pleasant either.
“Nicholas? Noelle?” One of his eyes were squeezed shut, his face pulled strangely. “What are you doing here? Is something the matter? Do you want Carol to come home?”
Nicholas and Noelle shook their heads simultaneously, but he said, “We need to ask you a favor.”
Pastor Sam looked behind them at the falling snow, stepping aside to let them in from the cold. They were ushered inside, Nicholas grasping Noelle’s freezing hand in his as they did. Once inside, he drew her back to his side again, trying to chase away the cold from her shaking limbs. Pastor Sam lit a lamp that was settled on top of the small counter across from the fireplace. It sparked to life, bathing them all in an orange glow.
“Something’s happened,” Noelle finally spoke, possibly sick of the waiting. “Beatrice found out that we lied—that I lied.”
Nicholas squeezed her hand, “We lied,” he corrected her, glancing down at her as Pastor Sam leaned against the counter. He was covered in a plaid robe, his one eye now fully open and wide awake as he listened intently.
“She came to our house this evening,” Noelle started, moving closer to Sam as if that might convince him even further. There was a sad, desperate edge to her voice. “She found out who Nicholas was at the Christmas fair, and she wants to take Carol away.”
Pastor Sam’s eyes widened, his hand now gripping the lip of the counter. He looked as bewildered and heartbroken as they did, which goes to show just how invested he’d been in this whole situation. Nicholas supposed a lot of Noelle’s friends had been invested, hoping for the best for her, for a relief from the horrible life she’d been living before Henry had passed. But now, it threatened to all come to an end.
“Forgive me, Noelle,” Sam said softly. “But I don’t understand what you want me to do? Do you want me to wake Carol?”
She shook her head, looking to Nicholas for help. He stepped forward, grasping her left hand in his once more, “We want to get married.”
Pastor Sam shot straight up, his eyes wide. But before he could say anything, Nicholas spoke. “Beatrice raised some concerns regarding the way we were raising Carol—that we were not teaching her good morals, due to us not being married but acting like married people would. It was one of the reasons, actually the main reason why she took Carol. So we decided to change that, to get her back.”
Pastor Sam dragged his hands down his face. “I am thoroughly confused, Nicholas. Nobody has taken Carol, she’s upstairs.”
“Yes,” Nicholas said, growing agitated. “But the decision has been made. She intends to pick Carol up tomorrow morning first thing.”
Sam was quiet for a moment, utterly shocked and possibly reeling from all the information just as they had been. He stared blankly at them, no sounds around them besides his hammering heartbeat and the shuffling of Noelle’s boots as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other. Neither of the children, nor his wife came downstairs to inspect what was going on, which Nicholas was grateful for because he had no idea what he would say to Carol should she stumble upon them now in their panicked states. Nicholas cleared his throat,
“I’m sorry to ask this of you friend, because I know what you might feel about it,” He pleaded Sam with his eyes, hoping the man loved both of them and Carol enough to help them keep their family intact. “Will you marry us? Tonight.”
The pastor did not give them a straightforward answer, he only sighed and moved closer to them, his hands spread as he tried to plead with them to reconsider. “There must be another way, Nicholas. It is not right for you to marry simply on the principle of it being the best solution—marriage is the unification of souls, a sacred act between a man and a woman deeply in love.”
Noelle suddenly stiffened, moving slightly away from him as Pastor Sam spoke.
“You know Sister Beatrice, she will not take kindly to you rushing to marry in an attempt to sway her decision and let you keep Carol with you,” he finished, glancing at both of them. His eyes flicked over each of them, pleading and slightly tinged with annoyance. Nicholas supposed the man had every right to feel this way, but it still angered him.
“You do not understand, Sam,” he said, discarding all formalities. This was his friend before him, not the pastor. He spoke to his lifelong friend. “This was not something I decided on at the spur of the moment. It is simply the way things are, with our unification in marriage possibly being the one thing that could keep our family together.”
He saw Sam’s eyes widen, saw him look between them, and right back into the admittance that Nicholas was certain now shone in his eyes. He let Sam see every emotion, every memory, and every feeling he had for Noelle. He let him witness just how certain Nicholas was about this, and how devoid of fear he was.
He just now realized himself that he indeed wanted to spend the rest of his life with Noelle, had possibly known it since that very first night she’d asked him to stay, and he’d had to hold her the entire night, fighting off her nightmares. Even though she’d made him lie for her, and had almost sent him in the opposite direction, tail tucked and thoroughly freaked out. However he saw it, and understood it from the way his eyes softened, Pastor Sam was still not convinced.
Nicholas lowered his head, his voice barely audible in the silent kitchen, “You were the one who advised me to give it a chance, that all was not as it seemed. Well, all is not as it seems. This is not a hurried decision, I love that woman. And I want to marry her, now.”
That seemed to do it for his friend, because he sighed deeply, raked his fingers through his hair and said, “Very well. Give me a moment to get my affairs in order.”
The man made his way up the white and brown wood steps, one of them creaking loudly just as he made it to the top landing, disappearing around the corner of the rail. There was the sound of an opening and closing door, then muffled voices—one of which quickly turned fierce. Nicholas raised his eyebrows at Noelle, Mrs. Pastor Sam was not happy at all.
He searched her face for any indication that she’d heard what he’d said to Sam, but there was no spark of interest, no surge of requited love, and no sign that she’d heard anything at all. Nicholas didn’t know if he was disappointed or relieved. Noelle was chewing at her lip, tearing small pieces of dry skin from them in nervousness. Her hands were also tearing each other apart, fingers picking at every bump, scratch, or hangnail. He suddenly felt unsure, and guilty, as he beheld her nerves.
Nicholas placed a hand on her cheek once more. “Are you okay? We don't have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Her head snapped up from where she’d been studying the floor beneath them, her eyes searching his. She frowned. “No, it’s not that. Not at all.”
“Then what is it? Because your brain is about two thoughts away from bursting to flames,” Nicholas said lightheartedly, feigning sniffing in her direction. “I think it already has.”
Noelle pinched his arm lightly, a small smile gracing her lips. But she turned somber, her eyes flicking away from his, lashes lowering. “I feel like I’m robbing you, Nicholas.”
He almost sighed and rolled his eyes, but remembered that she was utterly oblivious to the inexplicable love he had for her. So he plucked up the last bit of his patience, and pulled her into his arms. He opened his mouth to tell her exactly what he’d told Pastor Sam, in fact, the words were almost out when suddenly Sam came clamoring down the stairs dressed in his usual working garb and wearing a look that was between annoyance and pleasantry.
“Do you want to take Carol with you?” Sam asked, and Nicholas looked at Noelle. It was her choice, as it was her daughter, and she had every right to be the one to call the shots. She shook her head,
“Not like this. This will only confuse her.” Noelle said. Nicholas nodded, and took her hand.
They followed the pastor out the front door, Nicholas lifting Noelle into the seat beside him on the buckboard. He made his way to River, following on horseback as closely as he could next to them, keeping an eye on Noelle’s face as often as he could. There wasn’t enough space for all of them on the wagon, but he didn’t mind. He loved riding on horseback, preferring the steady bump to the excessive rattling and rocking of a wagon any day.
The church came up a few feet from them, slightly obscured from view by the wondrous pine trees that surrounded the small white building. Nicholas’ heart galloped in his chest, excitement that he had not expected making him almost spur River into a quicker pace. He glanced at Noelle once again, spying the same excitement on her face that he was sure reflected on his own. His face stretched into a smile, his huffed laugh making a white puff of hot air appear. He’d known she felt the same, even though he might have had his slightest bit of doubt. But that small smile on her face, that told him everything he needed to know.
They rushed into the church, the interior utterly silent and dark, undisturbed by the life-changing events of this eve. Noelle was almost glued to his side, his hand resting lightly on her lower back as they waited for Pastor Sam to light the candelabra on the dais behind him. The man smiled,
“It’s usually decorated much nicer than this, but we also have more time in those instances.” He joked, opening the Bible, and setting everything up as it should be in preparation for their unification. After a few moments of shuffling and moving some things around, Sam nodded at them, “When you are ready.”
Nicholas and Noelle took their places on the dais, the ring on her finger already removed and held in his palm. They faced each other, and here in this church, with what they intended to do, it was like Nicholas was seeing her for the first time again. He reached over, removing the pin that still her hair in place, leaving the beautiful waves to cascade down her back and shoulder. Noelle’s eyes filled with emotion, and Pastor Sam started their vows.
Clutching each other’s hands tightly, they repeated each and every word with passion, perhaps more than they were supposed to, since everyone regarded them as something less than a couple. However others may think that way, Nicholas’s ever-growing emotion disagreed.
There in the candlelight that bathed her hair in orange hues, he felt what he’d been denying for so long. Love like he’d never experienced in his life threatened to buckle his knees, threatened to tilt his world right at his feet.
Noelle gazed at him, emotion and passion drilling a hole into his chest, nestling deep into the fold of his soul. He loved this woman, had loved her from the very first moment of their meeting. And he would do anything to protect her and their daughter. No, this was not some idea just to keep their daughter with them. He wanted this. Desperately, enough that it felt like he couldn’t breathe when he thought of spending his life with her.
When it came for them to kiss, Nicholas channeled every single thought and emotion he felt into it, crushing her lips under his as he kissed her passionately. He grasped her to him, gently but enough to convey just how deeply intertwined in his soul she truly was. Nicholas tilted her chin back, grasping the nape of her neck, and showed her just how much this unification was not just for the sake of Carol, but for them as well. And when they broke apart, chests heaving and tears mixed on their cheeks, Nicholas was the happiest he’d ever been.
He’d just married the love of his life.