Trick #12

The Telephone Lifeline and Phone Lists

The telephone lifeline and phone lists are both crucial parts of your Crisis Plan. They are the number-one ways to connect with life, for both emergencies and day-to-day living. A short or long conversation with someone can carry you through critical moments long enough for the feelings and thoughts to pass and for your moods to change. You can then take the steps necessary to improve the situation. If the feelings and thoughts don’t pass, a phone conversation can link you to other help: medical attention, a support group, prayer, hospitalization, contact with a therapist or psychiatrist.

How often have you thought about calling someone, but by the time you found the number you were either too afraid or too doubtful to pick up the phone? I’ve probably spent a year’s worth of time sitting by the phone too afraid to dial. A phone list provides immediate, orderly access to the names and numbers of people and places in your support system. Instead of searching through dog-eared address books or scraps of paper jammed between couch cushions, when the need arises for a call you have the information right in front of you. Easy access.

Go back to here for instructions on how to put together your Crisis Plan phone list. Write out a separate phone list, perhaps with more nonemergency contacts, and post it by the telephone, or tape it to the inside of your address book, journal, locker, or briefcase.

The days of midnight marathon calls are now over, but when I was fresh out of the psych unit, the telephone became a lifeline. I spent four to five hours on the phone daily, talking to new friends from the hospital, calling people from support groups, getting support from family, leaning on my therapist, reaching out to old friends. Whether I overdid it or not is not the issue—it worked and that’s what counts.

As I slowly remodeled my brain, the need for constant external reassurance was replaced with internal strength. This evolution took place quietly and slowly, until one day I noticed I was spending less time on the phone and more time with myself or in the presence of others sharing activities unrelated to my mental health.

SOME THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

• Every time I overdosed I eventually picked up the phone and called for help because my feelings changed. I started to feel afraid; the suicidal thought passed, and I no longer wanted to die. Had I passed out completely, I might have died or been left with permanent physical damage.
• Had I picked up the phone before I acted on suicidal thoughts, my life would have been far less complicated. Once I made the move toward suicide, I altered my life in a way that no phone call could easily rectify.