The world needs anger.
— BEDE JARRETT
I learned to kick high
When that mugger attacked, he
Took it in the nuts!
My ex's penis
Was small, not his ego. I
Posted shots online.
TWO WORDS for the ass
Who fired me: Sexual
Harassment. Sucker!
The car salesman who
Sold me that lemon never
Saw that truck coming.
He loved his car more
Than me. I took it for a
Ride into a ditch.
You told your friends I
Sucked in bed. I proved you wrong
One friend at a time.
Pipes burst. The landlord
Got me a Porta Potty.
Not! Watch that shit burn!
My neighbor tried to
Poison my Fluffy. Now he's
On his last meow.
You took off the roof
And then it rained. Now go build
Yourself a doghouse.
You came twice but left
Me hanging. Next time you'll get
Me off — or leave hard!
You tried to rob me
At the ATM. I'm so
Broke, I punched you out.
When you let half of
My lobster roll fall on the
Floor, you lost your tip.
Wow, what beautiful
Kids in your holiday card!
Are they orphaned?
Mr. Homeless Man,
Unless you take debit cards
You're shit out of luck.
Beep: OMG! Beep:
LMAO! After the
Previews, kill the teen.
The dickhead who conned
Grandma is going to jail,
He's all Bubba's now!
Sweet hippies next door
All peace, love, and happiness
Pick up your dog's shit!
Going 48
In a 30 will cost you
Two bills. Fucking pigs!
CAN'T STIMULATE THE
ECONOMY — CREDIT CARD
FUCKERS JACKED MY RATE.
USED TAXPAYER LOOT
TO GIVE YOURSELF A BONUS?
Payback's a bitch, suit.
Quiet Car means no
Loud, inane conversations
On cell phones. Capiche?
Listen, moneybags
You might be a blue blood, but
You make me see red.
My ex-best friend will
Marry my ex. I wish them
Nothing but the worst.
Hope you're enjoying
Your Sunday drive.
(It's Tuesday — And I'm late for work!!)
Overdraft charge:
One Hundred dollars.
Telling the Bank to blow: Priceless.
High school “friends” should stay
In the past, where they belong.
Goddamn you, Facebook
Your holier-than-
Thou eco trip is a
You never bring bags!
?
Why
the hell do the
Commercials need to be five
Decibels higher?
You think Taco Bell
Is ideal for a first date?
Fucking classy, dude.
Ask me to pick up
Lunch again this week and I'll
Sneeze on your salad.
Skeevy mechanic:
One grand for brakes and labor?
Should I bend over?
Your blinker has been
On for at least ten miles
Just turn already!
So looking forward
To the day I can say take
This job and shove it!
Laptop's dead. If you're
A true “genius,” why does it
Take two weeks to fix?
Warranty just passed
And the TV died. That's four
Hundred dollars flushed.
Two-plus hours with the
Shovel and the car is clear…
Then the damn plow comes.
You want to tip five
Percent on New Year's Eve? You
Redefine cheapskate.
Would you mind putting
On your headphones when you play
Your crappy music?
Dear AWOL Salesclerk:
Where the hell are you when I
Really need your help?
I'm crouching, but still
Feel like I'll get crabs in this
Nasty public john.
Guessing you won't be
LOL when your iPhone
Takes you off the road!