Selina had been so focused on Aubrey that everything else drifted away, the other couples dining here, the waitstaff, the flicker of the light in the back that needed fixing—everything.
At least, until she happened to glance at the door at the exact wrong time.
Slender, chic, and naturally blonde, Katerina Leonard drew eyes everywhere she went. She’d caught Selina’s once upon a time, and the year and a half they’d spent together had her dreaming of more permanent things.
At least, until she’d caught her in bed with the same raven-haired, long-legged woman who strolled in behind Kat. Bile rose in Selina’s throat. A year had passed, a year filled with uneventful or downright horror-show dates and a whole lot of yearning, yet her scarred hurt opened like a fresh wound with the two of them standing in the same room.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Aubrey asked, her tone coming out concerned.
Right. She needed to pull herself together. Delaware was a small state, and while Kat avoided Renegades, she’d been living in Milton, a quick drive from Rehoboth. Selina could handle being in the same room as her ex.
“Just spotted someone distasteful, that’s all,” Selina responded through gritted teeth.
“Let me guess,” Aubrey drawled. “Ex?”
Selina quirked a brow at her in response. “How’d you know? Was the loathing leaking out of my pores?”
“I’m guessing the breakup wasn’t the amicable sort.” Aubrey skimmed the crowd behind them as if she tried to gauge who it was.
“No, I’m not pointing her out,” Selina said. The waitress swung by with their meals in the nick of time before Aubrey got the chance to ask any more questions. The last thing Selina needed was to slice herself wide open about Kat’s betrayal to someone who avoided commitment like a second job.
Selina picked at the edge of the gooey cinnamon roll, focusing on the simple task. The sweet vanilla of the frosting and the fragrant spices drifted up, tingling her nose. Aubrey drove a fork into her bacon and cheese omelet, shoveling the food into her mouth like she hadn’t eaten in a century.
Selina took the first bite and savored the sweetness mixed with the cinnamon sugar of the roll, enjoying the way the flavors burst on her tongue. She’d been so focused on licking the sticky frosting off her fingertips that she almost missed the shadow falling over their table. Selina looked up in time to spot Kat and her—fucktoy? Girlfriend? Honestly, their relationship was none of Selina’s business at this point, except for the fact that they stood here looming over her.
“Long time to see, Sel,” Kat said, her voice soft and dewy, as if she was some fifties starlet.
“I’m fairly certain the distance was on purpose,” Selina responded, trying to force her voice to remain level. Aubrey glanced between them, her gaze swinging back and forth like she was observing a badminton match.
“Just because we’re split up doesn’t mean things have to be bitter between us,” Kat said encouragingly as her girlfriend slithered around her like a scarf. “I mean, I’ve moved on, and I assume you have as well.”
Selina’s heart wrenched at the comment. As much as Kat spoke in a dulcet tone, she’d always driven in barbs that way. A year had passed, yet Selina felt as lost and hopeless as she did the day she’d started packing her things to find a new place of her own. She’d moved on from Kat a long while ago, but she hated seeing her ex here with the woman she’d brought into their bedroom. What she hated even more was that she still roamed out into the land of ghosting and bad dates—and she struck out every time.
She glanced back up, realizing she should’ve said something by now.
“Excuse me,” Aubrey jumped in, a spark in her eyes that Selina didn’t trust. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”
“And who are you?” Kat asked, lips pursed as if she kept her judgement in her back pocket.
“Her girlfriend,” Aubrey responded, not backing down in the slightest.
Selina almost choked on her own spit.
Aubrey offered Kat a smile that almost looked malicious. “So, if you don’t mind—you’re interrupting our date.”
Kat stared at Aubrey, and then her gaze returned to Selina—questioning, accusatory.
“She’s not wrong,” Selina responded, her tone cool. She wasn’t offering the woman an out. “Hope you have a lovely breakfast.” At that, she switched her focus to Aubrey, trying to ignore the wild beating of her heart.
Kat and her girlfriend made small derisive noises and strode away, heading over to their table. Selina didn’t let out her breath until the pair had taken their seats. She may as well not have bothered at attempting to calm down, because the moment she glanced at Aubrey, the breath snagged in her throat again. The woman stared at her, lips pursed and a curious look in her eyes.
“Sorry about the whole declaration,” Aubrey offered. She speared another bite of bacon and cheese omelet, chewing on it as she averted her gaze. “The woman was being a bitch and didn’t have a reason to swagger over here and interrupt your morning.”
Selina swallowed hard. She wasn’t mad. Furthest thing from it. Instead, all she could think of was the possessive way Aubrey said “girlfriend,” the strength of her proclamation, and the passion in her eyes when she declared it. Not like Aubrey Moore would ever stake an actual claim to anyone. Selina had yet to see it.
“Didn’t bother me,” she offered a half smile. “And you’re right. Kat was flaunting her relationship for no other reason than bitchiness. Her girlfriend’s the woman she’d been cheating on me with.” Stating it out loud caused the shame to form a film on her skin, but after the way Aubrey came to her rescue, she wanted to explain.
“That’s even more levels of fucked up than I’d anticipated,” Aubrey murmured. “Are you sure you don’t want me to march over there and deck her? I’d be happy to give my fists some nice test swings.”
Selina snorted. “Why don’t you save those prizewinners for better targets?”
Aubrey gave her a pointed glance. “I can’t think of a better target. With how careful you are to let folks in, that sort of betrayal has got to be devastating. Say the word, sweetheart.”
A flush rose to Selina’s cheeks at Aubrey’s honest affection, how she leapt to her defense even after all the time they’d spent squabbling. Despite the distance she’d been trying to keep, maybe she’d slipped a little too and revealed more of herself than normal.
“Thanks, pretend girlfriend. Let’s save the beatdowns for another day.” She took another sip of her cappuccino and a bite from the cinnamon roll, halfway finishing it. Aubrey had polished off her plate and sat there sipping at her coffee.
“Unfortunately, I think Kat and her girlfriend killed my already precarious morning appetite,” Selina continued. “Do you want to get out of here? I’ve got a great place to walk off the calories.”
“Of the half a cinnamon roll you ate?” Aubrey rolled her eyes. Still, she flashed a grin, all enthusiasm and charm, like nothing ever bothered her. “Though, you’ve said the magic word—please, whisk me away from this place.”
Selina signaled the waitress over for their check, and before Aubrey could fight her, she offered the woman her card. She glanced back. “Is the magic word ‘walk’? Because that’s not helping your case as the human version of a golden retriever.”
“Right, Catwoman. Find any more sunbeams to curl up under?” Aubrey shot back, a grin on her lips.
“Ha, hilarious,” she said. Once the waitress returned with her card and receipt, she scooped them up.
Aubrey lifted the mug to her lips and chugged the remainder of her coffee. She placed an empty cup back onto the tabletop. “Lead the way.”
Selina signed the receipt and left it on the table, sliding the strap of her black leather purse around her shoulder. She rose from the seat, not glancing behind her where Kat and her girlfriend sat and enjoyed their meal. Sure, maybe she should’ve stuck around to prove their presence didn’t bother her, but their impromptu stop-by had soured her breakfast, and she’d rather not waste her time. She headed toward the door, and Aubrey kept a close pace behind her.
The moment they stepped out into the sunlight, Selina drew in a full breath again. Away from the suffocating gaze of her ex, she could think a little clearer.
“It’s about a ten-minute walk if you don’t mind the stroll.” Selina glanced at Aubrey as she headed in the direction of Lake Gerar Park.
“Please, does it look like I mind a stroll?” Aubrey asked, flexing her biceps with a saucy grin.
Selina gave her the side-eye. “Don’t see how those guns will help you, unless you’re planning on walking over on your palms.”
“Don’t tempt me,” she said, swinging her arms side to side. Already, she stepped a clip or two faster than Selina, as if she was about to burst into a jog. “Where are we heading?”
“You were that kid, weren’t you,” Selina shot back. This time of day, the boardwalk and beach were packed with families, but she and Aubrey just walked along, dodging the swarms as they wound their way forward. “The ‘are we there yet?’ kid.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Aubrey smirked, her bright cockiness infectious under all of this sunlight. They continued on through the crowds until they’d begun to thin out.
“Just a sneaking suspicion,” Selina responded, rolling her eyes. Even as she feigned annoyance, she didn’t feel it for a moment. Had she run into Kat and her girlfriend while she was by her lonesome, she might’ve crumbled. She’d have strained an attempt at cool apathy, but the moment she stepped out of sight, she’d be heaving breaths like she tried to swim in the ocean. After the last hurt, she’d been careful—maybe too careful—with her heart.
Aubrey made all the difference today.
As much as she should be protecting herself, Selina couldn’t help but spend more time with this beguiling woman. Every time she thought she had a pin on Aubrey, she found herself more confused. One thing grew clear—just because Aubrey slept around a lot didn’t mean she wasn’t loyal. The sort of loyalty she’d shown here today? Well, damn. Selina had been dreaming of a partner that fierce.
She slowed first, and Aubrey took the cue as Lake Gerar glittered in the distance. “We’re almost there.”
Aubrey hooked her thumbs in her waistband as they walked, a distracting motion that placed some of her luscious tanned stomach on display. “What did you see in that chick in the first place?” she asked, glancing away and up at the blue sky as they strolled along.
Selina’s heart stuttered at the personal question. It’d be so easy to circle around, to offer some witty response so the conversation could reroute to more comfortable territory. However, right now, her chest squeezed tight, like all of her unspoken pain was a wet rag begging to be wrung out.
She shrugged, rubbing her arms as if she’d been caught in a breeze. “Kat was my last foray into dating someone who’d picked me up at my bar. When we’d first met, she was charming and witty. She made me laugh, and in the time we were together, I thought she wanted the same thing I’ve always been searching for—somewhere to stay and someone to stay there with. I’ve spent far too many years watching the unfamiliar faces roll by as I hopped from one school to another, one state to a different one. It’s exhausting and damn lonely.”
Aubrey pressed her lips together, and she stared at the ground as if in deep thought. Not like Aubrey would understand—from the gist of it, her family had been in the same place from high school and up. Army life had been so different, and while she loved her parents with all her heart, she’d been anxious to carve out a home for herself from the moment she turned eighteen.
“Doesn’t Renegades give you what you already need?” Aubrey asked. “You know, a place to belong?”
Selina crooked an eyebrow at her. “Sure, but sometimes when I get home from a long shift, all I want to do is cuddle up with a partner in my warm bed, to be able to talk about my day with someone other than my cat. Sometimes, I’d like to make coffee for more than just me, or walk in the park with someone else by my side. We wouldn’t need to talk, but the presence alone makes a difference.”
The words spilled out of her, more than she’d allowed herself to confess in years. She’d been so focused on finding the right fit that she seemed to have evaded them at every turn. Here she was, nearing thirty and still searching, each failed date making her retreat a little further.
Aubrey let out a low whistle. “Damn, you almost make all the cozy shit sound enticing.” She cracked a grin, attempting a carefree tone that faltered. For the life of her, Selina couldn’t figure the woman out.
Lake Gerar sparkled ahead of them as they came closer and closer to the place she’d retreated to on many of her Rehoboth visits. Despite her fear of deep water, she found something comforting being around it. So often, when the others went to the beach, she’d sneak off with a book and sit by the lake, not nearly as chaotic or loud. This sort of place allowed her to think, to breathe, to relax.
“Funny, we come down here every year, and I’ve never been to this spot,” Aubrey said, strolling beside her with purpose.
A question bubbled inside Selina, one that ended up slipping out. “What makes all the cozy shit so repulsive for you?”
Aubrey flinched for a moment, a visible streak across her face that quickly dissipated. Selina regretted the question at once. They’d been sharing more and more with each other, but each bit was a struggle.
“Despite appearances, I’m duck-feather slick, and all the comfy shit rolls right off me,” Aubrey commented, a forced lightness in her voice.
Right. Avoidance games like normal.
Selina didn’t respond but just stepped a bit quicker toward the lake. They set onto the concrete walkway surrounding the lake, the gentle breeze causing slight ripples across the sparkling surface. While a few folks strolled around the perimeter fringed with pines and weeping willows, most of the place was isolated, the quiet as pristine as the beach at night.
“No one bothers with the lake when they came for the beach, which means I get to enjoy my outside time uninterrupted,” Selina murmured.
“You really hate crowds, don’t you,” Aubrey said, a grin cracking her lips.
Her nose wrinkled in response. They continued to walk along the lakeside, the freshwater breezes intoxicating. With the sun beating down overhead and warming Selina from the inside out, the incident at the brunch place faded away like a distant memory. She wished healing was that easy, but at least she had her outlets. She glanced at Aubrey, who strolled beside her. The woman’s pensive look didn’t fit on a face usually filled with bright smiles and vibrancy. Selina lapsed into quiet as well.
They stepped underneath the fronds of a weeping willow, their shade creating an area ten degrees cooler. Selina came to a stop, staring out over the water. Aubrey’s presence buzzed beside her.
“The cozy shit sounds nice in theory,” Aubrey commented, her voice a low scrape. “But the crux of it is—once those comfortable times fade away, when things get tough, that’s when you need someone the most. That’s when they leave you. Why bother wasting time building all of those Kodak moments if they just cut and run when your life takes a turn for the worse?” She glanced at Selina, those russet eyes somber. “Any solutions? I’m all ears.”
Selina found she couldn’t look away. The raw pain emanating from the woman was more than she’d bared to her before, and the volume was deafening. Aubrey’s dark eyes were glossy, the tilt of her brows so vulnerable and broken that Selina’s heart cracked in two.
She found herself closing the distance between them to slide a palm against Aubrey’s cheek. The way the woman leaned into the touch tugged at her chest like nothing else, and before she could talk herself out of it, Selina took a step in closer until her lips pressed against Aubrey’s.
She tasted like coffee, her mouth warm and willing as their lips brushed together. Selina’s head spun from the sheer intoxication of the collision, how every touch and connection between them inspired sparks. Aubrey’s hand drifted to her waist, and she couldn’t help but continue kissing this gorgeous, baffling woman. The kiss had been meant as a comforting gesture, an impulse she couldn’t deny, but all too fast, it deepened.
Aubrey’s grip tightened on her waist, and Selina slid her hand around to grab Aubrey’s nape. They pressed their bodies together, the heat between them flaring brighter than the candles she lit for Yule. Selina couldn’t help but fall into the ferocity of this kiss, even though she was the one who’d initiated it. Aubrey took control with ease, dragging her tongue across Selina’s, claiming her mouth like she owned it. The sheer possession in her movements sent Selina reeling, her knees trembling. If not for Aubrey’s grip on her waist, she might capsize.
This felt inevitable and terrifying in the same sweep, like the drop of a rollercoaster, yet Selina couldn’t pull herself away. She memorized the softness of Aubrey’s lips, the sharp taste of her, the power behind her movements. The woman’s magnetism was clear from the start, but oh, Goddess, the way she kissed. The confidence she commanded with her mouth left Selina helpless to the onslaught, and she just wound her hands around Aubrey’s nape as they kissed and kissed and kissed.
They separated for air, the sounds of their breath coming out in violent bursts after the fierce way they’d come together. If that was how Aubrey kissed, Selina couldn’t imagine how she fucked. Her panties were soaked.
The separation allowed the first thoughts to infiltrate, the ones that should’ve snuck in before.
Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea.
Selina took a step away, and the spell began to dissipate, despite the way her pussy throbbed and her lips tingled. She couldn’t do this. Not with Aubrey. She’d already been hurt far too much.
“Right, we should head back,” Selina said, before Aubrey could continue. She glanced away, needing to put some space between them and fast. “Our roommates are probably wondering where we are.”
“Lead the way,” Aubrey responded, her voice coming out a little hushed, a little breathless.
Selina started walking as fast as her legs could carry her.