Two days.
Two days until this vacation ended and Aubrey had to return to real life. God, she didn’t want to. Aubrey’s ponytail bounced as she trekked along the asphalt on her morning jog. Unlike all of her other times on the annual Rehoboth trip, she hadn’t gotten laid yet. Normally, she might care, but every time she was around Selina, she forgot why that was even an issue. Every adventure, every interaction endlessly engaged her, and she couldn’t help but circle back around to Selina, like she was magnetically propelled.
And she needed the distraction more than ever. Mom was back at home based on what Chels said, but they were waiting on the results from tests. Which meant her return home might also vault them back to that time—moping around in the hospitals, visiting Mom and Dad’s home, and watching her vibrant mother turn sallower and weaker every day. The first time had been bad enough. She didn’t know if she could survive a second round in the ring, or hell, how Mom could.
Aubrey continued to jog around the block, wondering if she might see Selina on the porch again when she neared her rental. The woman draped herself over the wicker furniture with a book any spare second she could. The sun pounded overhead, and sweat trickled down Aubrey’s back and her forehead. Her breaths came out sharp and hard from the punishing pace she raced along at, trying to work off some pent-up frustration. Ria had thrown herself at Aubrey last night, and any normal time after a dry spell, she would’ve jumped on the strings-free hookup.
Something stopped her.
Someone.
The moment Selina stepped away to head over to her friends, the idea of taking Ria up on her offer just felt slimy, like she’d slicked up her arms in oil. How the hell did she get this tangled up? She’d spent years breezing by from woman to woman, bed to bed, and yet once she started connecting with Selina on this vacation, her traitorous heart wanted more.
The sun beat down on her bare skin, her shorts hiking higher up her thighs as she ran. Strands of her ponytail plastered to her sweaty back, but she kept pushing herself along the asphalt, needing to feel the burn.
Selina made her imagine the one thing she hadn’t allowed herself for years—the cozy fantasy of returning home after work to someone waiting for her. To shared kisses, shared beds, and shared Christmases with the same partner.
Funny how that crept up right when her mom might be getting sick again. Her stomach lurched, and she struggled to hold back the memories of how Lila ditched her when things got hard. She’d been with the woman for a year, and they’d been just as disgusting as Mia and Sky. They’d curled up nightly on the couch in their apartment, just basking in each other’s company. Aubrey had planned their whole future out, not a thought to anyone else, but when faced with one big hardship, their relationship was a porcelain doll hurled to the asphalt.
Those insidious questions had begun to arise with Selina—what if she was the same?
What if she wasn’t?
Aubrey didn’t know if she could face either. Maybe keeping it to kissing was better, because if she sank any deeper into this woman, she didn’t know how she’d begin to extricate herself.
She slowed her jog as she neared the house, her heartbeat rattling in her ribcage as she searched the front porch of the rental next door. Looked empty, and as she passed, there was no sign of the hottest bar owner in the state lounging about with a book. Disappointment pulsed through her, something she loathed. How had she become this attached?
Aubrey hopped up the steps to her own rental, which still emanated a soft, airy quiet at this time of the morning. She strode through the kitchen and turned a faucet on, splashing some cold water onto her face post-run before she filled a glass and chugged the contents. Even in the wake of all that exertion, her mind raced just as much as it had before she’d begun.
Her phone started buzzing on the table, causing her brows to draw together. Who would call her this early in the morning?
She flipped over her phone, and the moment she caught Chels’s name on the screen, her chest sank.
That couldn’t be good.
She snagged her phone and answered the call, heading back outside. Not like she wanted to have this conversation where any of her friends could hear.
“Hey, Chels,” Aubrey said. “What’s going on?” She thundered down the steps as she turned to the right side of the house and found a shaded spot along the wall to lean against.
Chelsea sucked in a sharp breath. “Aubs,” she murmured, her voice sounding watery. Aubrey’s alarm bells were clanging.
“What’s going on with Mom?” she asked, unable to keep the sharpness from her tone. Worry spiked like an EKG.
“She’s back in the hospital again,” Chelsea responded, even though the words came out halting amid the occasional sharp breath. “She was feeling dizzy and almost passed out again, so they had her come back in. No one’s able to figure anything out, and they’re still waiting on all the damned tests.”
“They’ve had all week and they can’t get some fucking blood work results?” Aubrey asked, anger scorching through her. “What’s going on at Christiana Hospital that they’re so behind?”
“I don’t know,” Chels muttered, her words still thick even as she tried to rein in her fears. “I’m just worried. And every time I try to talk to Noah about it, he’s been shrugging me off.”
“Well, fuck him,” Aubrey spat back. “Not literally, because he’s a dick. But Chelsea, your husband can be an almighty douche sometimes. Marriage is in sickness and in health, and that extends to your parents who might be suffering.”
Just more proof why marriage was for idiots and commitment for fools. Not like she’d say that to her little sister who’d accepted the engagement proposal after six months of dating. Aubrey might not like the guy, but she’d never try to make Chels feel like shit. She had a useless husband for that role.
“I just… what if the cancer’s back again?” Chelsea asked, her voice barely skating above a whisper. “I can’t—she can’t handle that again….”
Aubrey leaned against the cool siding of the house, trying to ignore the stinging in her own eyes. As if that hadn’t been what ran through her head on repeat this entire trip. “Want me to come up? I can relieve you at the hospital,” Aubs said, determined to do what was necessary to be there for Chels, even though her shitty husband wouldn’t.
“You’re coming home in two days though, right?” Chels said. “Why don’t you take the weekend shift? That would help me a lot more than you rushing up here and cutting your vacation short.”
“Is Noah going with you?” Aubs asked, even though she knew the answer in her gut.
Yet another reason why her original plan of flings only was the right one. Partners never stuck it out through the tough times. The moment life got difficult, they’d start distancing, or they’d outright ditch.
“He’s too busy right now to join me, but it’s okay. I’m there with Dad, so I’m not by myself.”
Like being with Dad would be much of a solace. Silence remained their favorite shared pastime, since Aubrey refused to stop being gay and he wouldn’t stop being a bigot. Mom was the one she’d always melted around, the parent who’d accepted her no matter what and still tried to get Dad to see reason. Chels was the golden child in his eyes though—the straight one.
Fuck, the hospital visits before had been excruciating. Not just because of watching Mom fade, but because of the rift between her and Dad that would never get mended.
“Babygirl, hold on right now, okay?” Aubrey said, sliding into the big sister role she’d never forgotten. “I’ll be home in a few days, and you can crash at my place one of the nights and we’ll have a big vent session—just get all of this out.”
Chels gave an audible swallow before she responded. “That sounds good, Aubs. Thanks for… being there.”
“Thank you for keeping me updated through this,” Aubrey responded. “Lord knows our folks wouldn’t if they had it their way. None of that ‘don’t worry about me’ martyr bullshit.”
“It’s bullshit all right,” Chels said, sounding a little steadier. “Have a good rest of your vacation. And call me when you’re on your way home.”
“Give yourself a break today. Take some time to rest, okay?” Aubrey said, rubbing her free hand along her forearm.
“Will do,” Chels said, before she hung up. Aubrey tipped her head back to stare at the blue sky overhead, far too perfect for the miserable turn this day had taken. When she’d gotten the news Mom could at least head home from the hospital, she’d thought maybe. Maybe she was okay.
The return to the hospital felt all too familiar, and right now, Aubrey couldn’t stomach it. Though, truth be told, she didn’t know if there could be any time she’d be able to process Mom’s life in jeopardy. Again. She heaved a sigh and pushed off from the wall to stride back inside the house. She didn’t bother looking over at the rental next door. Aubrey wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with anyone right now, especially not with the confusion involving Selina.
She stepped back inside, the cool air pumping from the overtaxed AC as she headed toward the kitchen to fix herself some breakfast. Coffee. Things that might make her feel a little more human.
Footsteps creaked behind her, and she bit back a curse. She wasn’t great company right now, even for best friends.
Ky strode up beside her and picked one of the eggs from the carton. “What do you want to bet I can burn scrambled eggs too?”
“Which is why I’ll be handling breakfast, thank you very much,” Aubrey said. “I’d like something not charred in my stomach.”
Silence spread between them as Aubrey set to work, not rambling like usual. She could feel Ky’s stare burn into her, but she chose not to respond.
“So when are we going to talk about this thing between you and Selina?” Ky broached, and Aubrey physically bit back her groan. That was the last thing she wanted to discuss right now while her head was clouded like she’d downed Nyquil. “Because to me, the situation’s looking far less casual than your usual flings. I mean, the whole dipping into the bathroom or sneaking outside together is nothing new, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this focused on one woman before. At least not since….”
Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
To her relief, Kyle didn’t continue, just stared at her with curiosity.
“I’m allowed to switch things up once in a while,” Aubrey said, attempting to be cavalier, even though her irritation leaked out in the process. “Doesn’t mean I’m about to sweep Selina off her feet and propose.”
“I’m not saying that,” Ky responded, huffing out a breath of frustration. “Aubs, I love you. This isn’t me trying to attack you. I’m just saying you’re allowed to like someone. You’re allowed to fall for someone. The world isn’t going to end.”
Except her world might.
Mom might have cancer again, and this time, she might not survive.
Aubrey flipped the eggs on the skillet, and her jaw clenched so hard it might crack. Her hands began trembling, and she prayed Kyle didn’t pick up on it. The observant asshole probably would.
The words wouldn’t arrive on her tongue. All of those thoughts were sealed too deep inside. Ky knew the waking nightmare of stale hospital lights and pitying sympathies from every random acquaintance Aubrey had dealt with the last time Mom went through chemo. Throughout, Kyle Walker had been there, a loyal, steadfast friend. Aubs should tell her what was going on. Hell, maybe she should even tell Selina.
Except all she could hear was the tremor in Chelsea’s voice and the resignation there when Noah failed to show time and time again. She’d already lived through that disappointment and wasn’t prepared to set herself up for it again.
No one signed up for this struggle, and she and Chels wouldn’t abandon Mom. Sure, Selina might be okay with listening to her woes one night and walking on the beach with her—a vacation escape was easy.
But the hospital visits? The countless breakdowns in the middle of the night? The freeze-ups every time the phone rang as she awaited the worst?
Hell, even she didn’t want to go through that again.
“Falling for someone was never in the equation for me,” Aubs said, fighting to keep her voice steady. “Vacation’s almost over, Ky, and I’m returning to the norm. We both know what that means.”
Ky’s lips formed a thin line, but she didn’t argue. She knew the deal with Aubrey’s mom, that they didn’t know what state her health would be in. And summer flings were that for a reason—because the moment Aubrey returned to reality, all of those pressures came crashing down.
No matter how much Selina’s presence calmed her or how being around the woman opened up doors she’d shut years ago, she needed to quit this. Before she fell any deeper.
Aubrey couldn’t afford attachments, not with the reality awaiting her in just two days.