If you want to know who your real friends are, write a book. There you are, fretting about deadlines that you can’t possibly meet, glumly acknowledging deadlines that have passed, taking about death … again, wondering why you ever took on the subject, and calling people in a panic because it has dawned on you that you will never actually finish this book. Good friends listen to all of this and love you anyway. I have truly incredible friends, and that is, without a doubt, why this book exists. To all of them, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I am indebted to a long list of experts who guided me along the way, especially Dr. Margaret Drickamer, Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland, Priscilla Ruffin and all the great people at East End Hospice, Dr. Kathleen Foley, Dr. David Weissman, and, indirectly, Dr. Joanne Lynn.
I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, all of those who shared their stories, and their tears, with me. When you talk with someone about death, it removes any barriers, any distance that might otherwise exist. You become linked, on some level, for good. I couldn’t be linked to a better bunch of people.
I am also deeply indebted to a few friends who not only supported me through this process, but read my manuscript, commented on it (pretty honestly, in some cases), and made it far better than it would have been otherwise. In particular, Tina Raymond, who read it not once, but twice, Marjorie Cave, Lou Ann Walker, Susan Merrell, Richard Ives, and Michael Shnayerson.
Enormous thanks to my remarkable editor and friend, Suzanne Rafer, who poured so much of herself into this that it’s a wonder there’s anything left of her; to the ever calm and wise Peter Workman, who can count me as one of his many loyal fans; and to so many others at Workman Publishing, including my dear pal Jenny Mandel, who exudes energy and optimism, Jim Eber, Janet Hulstrand, and Paul Gamarello. Many thanks also to Elisabeth Scharlatt and Kathy Pories at Algonquin for continuing to believe in this book.
Last, but certainly most, I am grateful to my adorable husband, Bob Plumb, who doesn’t particularly like talking about death but who has listened to me talk about little else for the past few years; to my irresistible children, who feed my soul; and to my incredible mother and siblings, who always believe in me more that I believe in myself.
Thank you.