Beefcake, or Only if It’s Low-Carb
I’m sitting at the table waiting for Becca and Brian to arrive. The taste of Hunter’s gum is still minty fresh on my tongue. Jackson’s warning rings in my brain like a marble in a tin pan, loud and unpleasant. I can’t believe everything I hear. Hunter’s been so nice to me. He likes to kiss, but what boy doesn’t? Besides, I like kissing him too, so he’s not playing me. I’m agreeable.
Becca comes up to the table. Her face spreads in a giant smile. She plops her backpack on the ground.
“You are smiley,” I say.
“Got an A on my science experiment write-up. I’m golden now for getting an A in Science for sure.”
“That’s good,” I say.
Brian appears, and his grin is even bigger than Becca’s. How that’s even possible after all I’ve done to him, I don’t know. I was half-expecting him to never speak to me again.
“I have the best food for you two today.” He pats his backpack. “Allandra, I’m gonna win your smile with low-carb vegetarian lettuce rolls today, made with chickpeas, garlic, black beans, vegan cheese, cashews, peppers, and other secret stuff. You will love these,” he says, pulling out a square container.
“Yay! Who needs lunch with you around, Brian. Can’t wait,” Becca says.
“Meatless. Interesting. Well, maybe I’ll eat it if it’s low-carb.” I flash Brian a smile.
He takes out plates, napkins, and a container with some sort of white sauce. He dollops the creamy white sauce on each of our plates and lays out two lettuce rolls per plate.
“You’re like a cooking show,” Becca says. “Our own little private one with a genius, talented chef.”
“This is to die for. I made it for my mom last weekend. She loved it.” Brian rearranges the lettuce rolls on my plate so the openings face me.
“You cook for your mom?” I ask. How sweet is that?
“Yep, all the time. Though she likes to cook too, so sometimes we cook together.”
“Wow,” I say.
“Please, try it,” Brian says, nodding to the plate.
He stares right at me, but I’m kind of getting used to his unabated gaze. I pick up the lettuce roll, dip it in the creamy sauce, and take a bite. I nod as I chew. It’s fantastic.
Becca is nodding along with me. “It’s killer, Brian,” Becca says with food still in her mouth.
“I think I could eat this every day of my life,” I say. “But only if it’s low-carb.”
“Oh, it is, and that’s the point. You could eat it every day. It’s healthy and filled with protein and vegetables. These will give you energy. I could teach you to make them.” He smiles. “If you let me. You could come over on Sunday, and I’ll teach you … just as a friend. I promise.”
Becca scoffs but smiles. “Yeah, right.”
“No, I’m serious. I have a really nice kitchen. I’d like you to see it.”
I give him my best I’m-sorry-but-no smile. “Thanks, but no thanks. I love this, but I’m no cook.”
“Please?” he says. “Pretty please with cherries on top?”
“Oh, I don’t think so, Brian. I don’t think Hunter would want me going to another guy’s house, so no,” I say before I take another bite. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll let you see my room,” he says with a giant smirk.
Boy. Game on. I flick my eyes up at him. “Only if you let me lie in your bed and test it out.” I smile, then wipe my mouth.
He taps his fingers on the table. “Only if you snuggle. Then you can. I only allow snugglers to feel up my blankets.” His eyes are alive, bright, and the old teasing, playful Brian is back in full force.
“OK, but—I might mess up your bed because I really like to wrestle.” I giggle. “Ya know, really make a massive, loud ruckus.”
Becca lets out a loud throat-clearing sound. “Alright, I’m outta here. I can’t take this anymore,” she says, standing up with a laugh. “This is too much for me. The images. Oh, the images you guys are giving me. I’m so done.” She waves her hands back and forth, gesturing for us to stop, but she smiles, so I know she’s not mad.
“Hope you like my rolls,” Brian says to Becca.
“Bed rolls?” I ask with a smirk.
Brian flashes me a sly smile.
“Stop,” Becca says. “You are killing my concentration, and I have a test next.”
“Poor baby,” I say, giving her a fake frown.
“Loved the rolls, Brian. Seriously, I’d order that in a restaurant. Maybe you can text me the recipe. I need a bit more low-carb in my life.” She pats her belly.
“Will do,” Brian says.
Brian’s rolls keep me full right through Hunter’s game. Being full and fed makes me really enjoy watching football—which is no small feat, because I don’t really understand it. Hunter is on fire, and his tackles are hard and perfect. He gets the other guy down every time he tries. He’s so stinking hot. I can barely contain myself as I yell and scream his name. He notices, and I love that. I stalk him after the game, and he rushes over and kisses me hard and strong, which makes me go massively weak, allowing him to pull me even closer. He smells of sweat and football-player stink, which on Hunter comes off as super-hot-guy musk. Somehow, he can pull off sexy even this sweaty and stinky. He’s got a mega-seductive vibe going and clearly some serious talent. Yum!
“Can’t wait for our date tomorrow,” he whispers as a misty rain starts to fall. His face is moist, dripping.
I whisper back, “Me too.” The cool raindrops dampen my hot cheeks as he kisses me again. I run my hands over his shoulder pads beneath his jersey. His whole uniform is wet with sweat and rain mist, but I don’t mind the cold at the moment. He is delicious.
“Gotta change,” he says. “I’ll text you later.”
“OK, bye.”
“Bye.” His smile and the smoldering brown-eyed look he shoots me collapse my heart to flat-out mush. He jogs off, water bottle and helmet in one hand.
I walk with Ginna and Becca. We head to the front of the school, where Becca’s sister is picking us up.
“Wow, that was pretty heavy with Hunter,” Ginna says, smiling at me.
“Oh my gosh. He is so hot, I can’t stand it,” I say. “He makes me feel alive and like I’m gonna die in the same second.” I run my hands through my rain-sprinkled hair. “Wow. That was crazy huge, right? I’m so lucky, and I know it.” I shake my head with a smile that won’t leave my face. “I was kissing Hunter. Dreams do come true.”
“My girlie, you’ve got the best of both worlds—super hot guy and cute chef guy, both at your beck and call.” Becca flicks through her phone. “Sex and food. The best pieces of the world.”
Ginna giggles. “Wow, when you put it like that, Becca, I mean, wow. You are so right.”
“I don’t have a clue how I’ve managed to get myself into this spot, but I sure feel damn luck-y.” She is so right.
After Becca’s sister drops me off, I let Maxie out to potty, then grab a mug of tea. It’s calorie-free, so, my fave. I turn on the fireplace and fantasize about Hunter and what it will be like on our first date tomorrow. The taste of his lips on mine is way better than any food could ever be. Dad is gone now on his trip, Mom is still gone—I should call her tonight—and Jackson is at his girlfriend’s house doing who knows what. I get up to let Maxie in the house, and there is a note on the counter. It’s from Dad.
See you guys on Sunday. I have a surprise for you. I can’t wait to show you! Have a good few days, and just call or text if you need anything. Money is in my top drawer if you need any.
Love, Dad
I can’t imagine what surprise he could mean. Maybe it’s a trip. He sprang that on us once years ago, and we all went to Mexico when I was like eight. I wouldn’t mind that again. It was a good time. Perhaps Mom knows. I’ll ask her, try to get her to spill it, when I call. Or maybe it’s another puppy, though I doubt it. Maxie would hate that. Hmm … very curious. I settle in working on some homework in front of the fireplace.
I wake up. It’s midnight, and I’m still in front of the fireplace, and I’m roasting hot. I slowly stand up, flick off the gas, and walk by Jackson’s room. His door is shut, so I don’t bother checking on him. I’d probably wake him up if I opened the door, and then he’d be pissed at me. I head to bed with Maxie in tow.
In the morning, Jackson’s door is still shut, and there is no sign of him, which is odd. He’s usually eating massive amounts of food in the kitchen at this time of the morning. I consider eating a banana but decide I don’t have enough appetite to make that happen. Besides, I ate so much yesterday, my stomach needs a break.
I get a text. I look at my phone, and it’s from Jackson.
Jackson: Fell asleep at Jenna’s house last night. So sorry. U OK?
Allandra: Yes. I’m fine. Feeding Maxie right now.
Jackson: See U tonight at the game.
Allandra: Yep. Good luck.
Jackson: Thanks.
Hmmpf. Didn’t know it was just Maxie and me all night alone. I think that’s the first night I’ve ever been truly alone in the house overnight. Good thing I didn’t know it, or I might have been freaked out and not slept a wink.
At the bus stop, the wind is brutal. Harsh as a hundred invisible nails scratching across my skin.
“Ugh. That wind hurts,” Becca says, pulling up her hood.
“No doubt. Feels like winter.”
“I know, right?”
“You are going to the game tonight, right?” I ask.
“I don’t know. You’ll be snuggling with Hunter, and Ginna’s not going, so I don’t know if I will go this time.” She smiles. “I’m kinda getting to be the third wheel. Plus, you and Hunter have your date after the game.”
“Yes, true. But I’ll miss you if you don’t come.” I give her the pouty lip.
“Really? I think you will be busy, lip-locked with Hunter the whole time.” She smirks.
I sigh. “Probably not. That boy loves his football. The game will have his full attention tonight.”
She laughs. “I doubt it will have his full attention. Not with your little hot bod snuggled into him.” She looks at her phone. “Besides, I’ve got a good romance book with my name on it. Been itching to read it.”
“Eh. Wish you’d come to the game.” I brush my curls back and the biting wind throws them right back in my face.
“Wonder what delish item Brian has in store for us today,” Becca says.
“I know. Believe it or not, he’s got me sorta looking forward to it.” I smile at her.
“Then he is brilliant, after all.”
We pile onto the bus and bust our asses trying to get a seat to ourselves. Not real easy on this packed sardine can, but Becca is savvy, and she scores one for us.
“Well done,” I say, sliding into the seat beside her.
“Thanks. I’ve got moves.”
I laugh. “Uh-huh. I think that girl’s just scared of you.”
“No doubt.” She smiles and adjusts her glasses, flicks her new dark pink strand of hair behind her back.
“I like the new pink,” I say. “Nice contrast to the green, though a bit watermelon-ish.” I can’t keep up with her hair changes.
“My favorite flave.” She smiles. “When you gonna let me do your hair? I’m thinking purple.”
“Maybe someday soon,” I say. “I was thinking red.”
“I can make it happen. You tell me the time and place, and I’m there.”
“Deal.”
We arrive at school, and I spot Hunter waiting for me on the sidewalk.
“Wow. What a switch this is,” Becca says. “Hot lover boy is stalking you.”
We pile out of the bus, and I almost scamper to Hunter. My heart is so giddy. Boy of metal to the magnet of me. He pulls me in like he owns the air between us and plants a slightly juicy peck on my lips.
“Hiya,” he says, pulling away from me with a smile.
I breathe in the scent of him and his spearmint breath. Lick my lips. “Hi,” I say with a full-on smile.
He twirls me around, and we rush into the school to get out of the cold.
How the morning has flown so fast I’ll never know. I’m kissing Hunter again at my locker. But now I’m nervous I’ll look up and see Brian, so I close my eyes and keep them closed. With my eyes closed, Hunter’s kiss is even hotter, and I almost forget we are at school for a split second. Super dangerous thinking.
“Sorry I can’t eat lunch with you. I’ve got an assignment to finish before class,” Hunter says.
“No worries. We’ll spend time together tonight.” Looking up at him still shocks me. Can’t believe this gorgeous boy is into me.
He smiles that irresistible smile. “Yes, can’t wait.” He touches my cheek so soft and gentle, tender even. “Football, you, pizza. All my favorites in one night.”
We sneak in one more kiss, and when I open my eyes, I’m so relieved Brian isn’t watching. Hunter waves bye, and I walk off to meet Becca and Brian.
When I reach the table, they are both already there. Guess I spent too much time smooching Hunter.
Brian’s smile is the biggest I’ve ever seen displayed across his face. “I’ve got a secret.”
“Really?” I say. “Do tell.”
“And I already know,” Becca says with a sassy smile.
I look back and forth between them. “Well?”
“OK. It’s brownies that are mega healthy so even you can enjoy them.”
“Brownies?” I ask. “Chocolate, again?” I want to turn and run away.
“Come on. Chocolate puts sensuality in you—not that you need it. Your every pore sings it to me even from across this table.” His smile is sly.
“Ooh, I like that, Brian,” Becca says. “I like the idea that chocolate puts sensuality in you. ’Cause I love chocolate and sensuality.” She is smiling like that’s the best phrase she’s ever heard in her life. “What a yummy and perfect thought.”
I laugh. “You are too much,” I say to Brian, shaking my head at him while the smile remains on my face.
His eyes twinkle, and he does a little sway as he elegantly pulls off the container lid to reveal brownies that indeed look decadent and sensual. “Black bean brownies bursting with flavor, made with vegetables, the best cocoa, and low-calorie sweetener.”
“You may just be the Einstein of cooking,” Becca says, hovering as close to the container as she can, peering down at the brownies.
I just stare at them in awe. “Healthy brownies?” I sit back in my chair and gaze at Brian’s smiling face.
“Yes, and low-cal.” He stabs his plastic knife into the lush-looking frosting and scoops a rough-cut square onto my plate. “Hope you don’t mind my fingers touched it,” he says with a smirk. “Though I kinda did that on purpose.”
“Quit feeling up my food,” I say with a laugh.
“Can’t help myself. It’s about to enter your lips with my fingerprint on it.”
“Oh, lordy,” Becca says. “Here we go.”
Brian scoops out a jagged square for her and then one for himself. We all eat the first few bites in silence because it’s so amazing it’s hard to talk.
“I cannot believe you achieved healthy brownies in this exquisite flavor. Damn, boy, you could publish your own cookbook right now and make a mint.”
He smiles. “I think I might start a food blog.” He looks down at his half-eaten brownie.
“Do it, Brian,” I say. “That is so cool.”
“Would you visit me on it?” He licks his fork clean of the chocolate, watching me watch him lick.
I shake my head and smirk. “Of course,” I say.
“You bet,” Becca says. “Offering to be your official taste tester. Right here, call on me anytime to eat.”
“You too?” he asks, looking at me.
“Sure,” I say. “Only you can get me to eat like this.”
“Truth,” Becca says, nodding enthusiastically.
Brian beams.
“That game was fantastic—amazing! Your brother is a rock star.” Hunter puts his arm around my shoulders. I put mine around his waist.
“And he’s the first to admit it too,” I say as we exit the football stadium with a giant chunk of a crowd.
We walk with the blanket wrapped around the both of us.
“Hungry for some pizza?” he asks. “I’m starving.”
“Yes,” I say. But actually, no, I’m not at all hungry.
In the car his hand goes right on my knee. “Love having my license.”
“Yes, I can’t wait to get mine. Just a few more months for me, but I need to get working on it. I’m behind on it all.”
“It’s awesome. The freedom.” He squeezes my knee and looks me right in the eyes. “The privacy.”
He turns the car onto the main street, and we are at Perfectionist Pizza in less than five minutes. There are too many cars, which means other high schoolers are already here, and it will be busy. Everyone loves this place.
“Maybe we should have picked something less popular. Would have been less busy.”
“Ah, it’s OK. You had your heart set on pizza. We can just wait for a table,” I say, touching his hand that has found its way to my knee again.
“Right, I did have my heart set on pizza.” He parks the car in one of the last few open spots in the back of the lot. “But first, I need me a kiss from my lovely date.” He smiles as he’s pulling me onto his lap, and I’m melting into his body, soft and quick like butter on steaming-hot, crispy toast. His hands are everywhere on me, and I can barely keep up, and then he pulls back. “OK, gotta chill. Wow. You’re so hot, I can’t help myself. Need to get outta this car or I never will.” He laughs. “You ready?”
I smile. “I like being in here with you too.” I sigh and return to my seat. “Truth. Did you think all my stare-stalking was annoying?”
“Hell no. Flattering, really. And hot. Got me to notice you, and now I can’t seem to stop looking back.” He’s rushing his mouth to mine again, and I’m letting him because it’s so good. He pulls back and puts his arms straight, gripping the steering wheel hard. “Pizza. Gotta focus.” He opens his car door, and the cold zooms in.
“Right,” I say. “We’d better get in there to get our name in for a table. Could be a long wait.”
Inside the restaurant, Hunter puts his name on the waitlist. The place is crawling with teens from our school. We walk over to the pool-table area to wait, and I grab the buzzer from him to be its keeper. Hunter spots his friends. He looks down at me and then points to the pool table.
I nod, smiling. “Go ahead, I’ll watch.” No, I don’t mind watching him play pool, not one single bit. I rather love watching him move.
His friends are already setting up the game.
“You sure you don’t mind?” he asks, putting both arms around me.
“Go ahead. We’ll be alone for the pizza.” I don’t want him to lose time with his friends. Besides, we are just waiting, so why not?
“Right,” he says. He pulls me closer and gives me a peck on the lips.
His friends heckle, but I ignore them. I hope I’m not the subject of their heckling. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. Be right back.”
“OK,” he says, rubbing my right hip as I turn to go.
In the bathroom, I turn sideways to see what Hunter saw, what he rubbed. I guess my hips don’t look too fat in these jeans. I pee and powder up my nose to take off the shine before heading back out.
Hunter and two of his friends have their backs turned and don’t see me approach. As I get near, I hear his friend John say, “You hit the mark yet on that little tasty one?”
“Nah,” Hunter says. “Aiming to, though.”
“Will be quite the ride after how long she’s been wanting you,” his other friend, Max, says, with a sickening smile on his face.
My jaw drops. I want to slap that awful smirk right off his pimpled face with the square block of buzzer in my hand.
“I know, right? I can’t wait.” Hunter nods.
“F and F,” John says.
“F and F,” Hunter laughs. “Fuck yeah.”
My heart falls with a thud at my feet. I’ve been around Lino Lakes High long enough to know this nasty story. Some seniors made it up a few years back, and apparently Hunter and his friends are bringing it back in all its disgusting perversion and cruelty. I know exactly what “F and F” means: “fuck and flee.” Then count your numbers to see who wins for the year. Winner gets a cash prize from all who bought in. I don’t even like to think those “F and F” words. Back then, all those poor girls didn’t realize what was going on until late in the year, and they were epically devastated. I heard all the stories from friends who had older sisters who were victims or who knew victims.
My body gets hot, and I feel my face turning crimson enough to looked sunburned. Why did I ever think this sexy, hot boy would really want to be with me and be my boyfriend? Damn, was I an idiot. I slam the table buzzer on the counter behind them, which gets them all to turn toward me.
“I’m fleeing right now, so you lost your chance, you asshole. One less tally for you. My brother was right.” I’m fighting the tears because I don’t want to give them the pleasure.
His hands go up, and he’s shaking his head. “Oh, shit, Landra! I was just joking. I don’t—”
“Shut it, Hunter.” I stomp out. His friends roar and hoot with laughter as he chases after me and grabs my arm. Dang, he’s fast. I shake my arm out of his massive hand.
“Landra, I was just going along with them. They are dicks. I’m sorry. That’s not how I feel about you.” I almost believe from the look in his eyes that he means what he says.
“Oh yeah? Well now I don’t fucking believe you. I was a fool to think you’d like me. I’m too fat and ugly for someone like you to like me. Damn, am I stupid.” I start to run before he can grab my arm again, and he chases me, still yelling, pleading for me to come back, but I go fast to the end of the parking lot. I zip past a bus on the main road, and he has to stop and wait for it to pass. But I’m already gone. He’s lost me.
I run, and I don’t stop. No clue where I’m going, but I’m doing it. Chugging along as easy as walking. I knew eating all that food would be bad for me. I’m too fat for Hunter. That’s why this happened. All he wanted me for was one thing and one thing only. Hot tears fly down my cheeks, and they turn icy as the wind slaps me, lashes my face over and over again with gusts of cold, harsh reality. Crying in the Minnesota wind sucks.